Niece is entrapped in cult

tlrnnp67 · #1 10/28/13, 05:25 PM

My 18-year-old niece is in the throes of living in a cult. I wish I could say that I am surprised, but unfortunately, her parents planted the seeds early in her development, and even encouraged her when she joined. I fear for her future, having known no other way of living or thinking for herself.
She is not allowed to witness any current events because she is not allowed to watch or even have access to a television or listen to the radio. Music other than approved by the cult is verboten. Movies of any sort are forbidden.
Her former Yahoo email account is no longer accessible because the compound's WiFi has filters blocking access to her email. To reach her, I must email her through the compound's website, which is monitored. Her laptop, phone, and tablet are subject to search at any time. To reach her by telephone, because I am male and she is female, I must leave a message with the "operator" who will then pass it along to her.
She is required to attend ceremonies 7 days a week with assigned seating so they'll know if she is not there. Indoctrination activities are not negotiable.
She must be a virgin until marriage or be expelled from the group. She is isolated from anyone of the opposite sex other than those figures in authority over her. Men and women must not use the same stairwells or elevators. Mixed gender public groups are not allowed without approval. Dancing is forbidden. Clothing cannot reveal any leg above the knee, any cleavage whatsoever, and must not be form-fitted. No commercial emblems are allowed on clothing. Strict hair and jewelry practices are enforced. No pants are allowed. If outside work (if approved) requires wearing pants, they must be taken to work and changed into once there.
Exercise is debatable. Martial arts are forbidden due to the element of mysticism involved. Again, any exercise must occur without exposure to opposite gender.
Diet is strictly controlled. No outside food or drinks are allowed. Pizza delivery is forbidden.
Infractions are sometimes given demerits, but often the first occurrence is cause for shunning.
So as to be easily tracked, she must scan in and out of buildings and even her own room with a key card. Off-compound travel is strictly regulated and by appointment only. Sign-in and sign-out is required, and may or may not be granted. Off-compound employment must be approved and cannot have required working hours conflicting with ceremonies.
Health issues, especially those requiring medication, must be reported to the authority.
Living quarters are inspected every morning. Wake-up and lights-out are timed. Violations incur infractions. Decor is limited to approved items.
I would love to run down there and rescue her, but I think at this point, she is so entrenched in the routine subjugation and punishment for independent thought, that she would refuse an intervention.
These people are so brazen in their confidence of lack of retribution, they have published their cult requirements online:
http://www.pcci.edu/pathway/PCCPathway.pdf

I suppose I can agree with some of the principles on a basic level, but it's the complete control of an ADULT with no allowance for socialization, independent thinking, or learning of personal consequences other than those dispensed from authority are things that I cannot fathom. I think she will be stunted for years to come if she is ever even able to develop a semblance of independent thought.

Grumpy old man · #2 10/28/13, 05:39 PM

The sad part is she is an adult and you can not save her from herself . I wish I could tell you different but other than kidnapping her (and you could be charged with a felony ) There really is not much you can do . try googling "cult reform" and see if it sheds any light . Sometimes what you or I may consider crazy someone else is perfectly happy with ,Sad but true . I would contact the local Sheriff and relay your concerns and see if he has any insight ?

Rakkasan · #3 10/28/13, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tlrnnp67

My 18-year-old niece is in the throes of living in a cult.

To be brunt, what is your point? If you need some support dealing with the situation, we on this board can help.

If you need help getting here OUT of the cult.... There are also people here who can help.

I will give you support either way.

Rakkasan · #4 10/28/13, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grumpy old man

The sad part is she is an adult and you can not save her from herself . I wish I could tell you different but other than kidnapping her (and you could be charged with a felony ) There really is not much you can do . try googling "cult reform" and see if it sheds any light . Sometimes what you or I may consider crazy someone else is perfectly happy with ,Sad but true . I would contact the local Sheriff and relay your concerns and see if he has any insight ?

I am not really one who would worry about the legal implications of pulling her out. This is one of the situations in my life where I would take jail time to do the right thing. I can't see it any other way.

tlrnnp67 · #5 10/28/13, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grumpy old man

The sad part is she is an adult and you can not save her from herself . I wish I could tell you different but other than kidnapping her (and you could be charged with a felony ) There really is not much you can do . try googling "cult reform" and see if it sheds any light . Sometimes what you or I may consider crazy someone else is perfectly happy with ,Sad but true . I would contact the local Sheriff and relay your concerns and see if he has any insight ?

I'm sure it's all perfectly legal. My sister and I are only 2 years apart and were raised the same as far as religious upbringing, but she tended to really get fanatical about it in our teens. She raised her kids in a really sheltered environment, not allowing them to see much of the external world, which I can really kind of understand given the current environment. I just always thought that kids were to be taught right from wrong, encouraged to think independently, and if raised right, most likely would become good independent citizens.

I'm just astounded that this so-called institution of higher education subjugates these ADULTS to this extent. How are they to grow under such control?

I didn't realize the extent of it all until I attempted to email her under her Yahoo address, and when I didn't hear from her, I just thought she was busy. She emailed me under her new account and said the filters didn't allow her to access her Yahoo account, and then I went online and started looking into her school.

I'm sure there's not much I can do. It's just frustrating to think that in the most exciting and growth-rich time of her life, she may be stunted and want to be because of the way she was raised.

tlrnnp67 · #6 10/28/13, 06:05 PM

To be clear, I'm not trying to be anti-"Christian". If you go to the link I provided and substitute "Christ" or "Christian" with "Satan" or "Satanist", I think you'll agree that the control and indoctrination issues and lack of independent thinking are the most disturbing part.

TRellis · #7 10/28/13, 06:16 PM

To be honest with you, except for a few things like your niece's age, references to computers, employment and such, it sounds almost exactly like a catholic boarding school I went to briefly when I was a kid.

I went there only briefly because I was a bit on the rebellious side and did not necessarily abide by some, er... most, er.... okay, any of the rules they set. I think I subconsciously had it in my head to break every rule that they could come up with.

And I am not too embarrassed to admit that they asked me to leave and attend some other school. My mother, on the other hand, was a little embarrassed, but my father, who was Lutheran, thought the whole episode was funny.

If your niece is eighteen (an adult) and is there of her own free will and not being coerced into staying, what is to prevent her from screaming at the top of her lungs when you try to get her away from the place?

Has she communicated to you in any way, shape or form that she is unhappy with the place and wants to leave? Her wanting to leave would be a big plus for you if the place calls the cops and say that she was kidnapped.

TRellis

tlrnnp67 · #8 10/28/13, 06:21 PM

I'm not about to try to remove her against her will. I'd just like to get her out of there and instill some sense of self-worth into her. I guess I'm just frustrated at a potential life wasted. She's a smart girl otherwise and would have a good life ahead of her.

tlrnnp67 · #9 10/28/13, 06:22 PM

And no, she seems perfectly content. It's amazing how happy you can be in captivity if you're raised that way.

TenBusyBees · #10 10/28/13, 06:23 PM

It's not a cult....they just have higher standards and take the Bible more literal rather than being "seeker sensitive." I've known several families that have either graduated or have children currently attending. From what I understand they.have a pretty high admissions standard too...i doubt she's there against her will...especially if she's paying her own tuition.

TRellis · #11 10/28/13, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tlrnnp67

I'm not about to try to remove her against her will. I'd just like to get her out of there and instill some sense of self-worth into her. I guess I'm just frustrated at a potential life wasted. She's a smart girl otherwise and would have a good life ahead of her.

So I assume that she has not expressed a desire to leave nor has she intimated to you that she dislikes being there... Correct??

TRellis

Rick · #12 10/28/13, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TRellis

........................................If your niece is eighteen (an adult) and is there of her own free will and not being coerced into staying, what is to prevent her from screaming at the top of her lungs when you try to get her away from the place?

Has she communicated to you in any way, shape or form that she is unhappy with the place and wants to leave? Her wanting to leave would be a big plus for you if the place calls the cops and say that she was kidnapped.

TRellis

I agree - can you visit? Have you tried?

FWIW....

I just tried to call the college to ask about visits. I dialed the number wrong and talked to a gentleman who is used to getting their calls.

I asked if he knows about the college. He drives by it daily, but doesn't know much about the college.

He sent his grand kids to the middle school. No problems there. Girls had to have dresses, and his granddaughter had to remove a painted tattoo.

TRellis · #13 10/28/13, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tlrnnp67

And no, she seems perfectly content. It's amazing how happy you can be in captivity if you're raised that way.

Unfortunately then, you can only chalk it up to "different strokes for different folks".

My father was completely against me being in the boarding school, but my mother won out until I got booted. My father knew in advance that it was a waste of time and money. My mother was oblivious.

I do not think that there is anything you really can do or should do.

TRellis

CJofWolfcreek · #14 10/28/13, 06:32 PM

Sounds alot like my AF Basic training back in the early 80's

unregistered41671 · #15 10/28/13, 06:33 PM

I am curious. Where did you get the definition of a cult from?
http://www.pcci.edu/?AspxAutoDetectCookieSupport=1

The website looks more like Pensacola Christian College.

Annsni · #16 10/28/13, 06:35 PM

It's a college. She's not "trapped" - she is allowed to leave whenever she wishes. Yes, they have very strict regulations but it's not anything like a cult.

paradox · #17 10/28/13, 06:44 PM

I think if she is happy there is not much you can do. Trying to drag her away from a situation she chose willingly would only turn her against you. Stay in contact and if she ever mentions she wants out, then you are there to help. But I think you need to prepare yourself for the possibility that she believes as they do, and may very well stay there for a few years.

Sometimes people we care about get involved in stuff we don't like. But if they are adults, then it is their right to choose how to live. I have some family we avoid because of how they have chosen to live. I wish it weren't that way. But as long as they are not hurting anyone else, I have no right to tell them how to live their life. All I can do is live mine the way I feel is right.

Now if you ever get any inkling that she is being held against her will, or that they are using some type of drugs to keep her "compliant" then all bets are off. That's when you go all comando.

Annsni · #18 10/28/13, 06:47 PM

Guys - This is a college. She's not being "held" or "drugged". She's paying tuition to be educated at a strict Christian college.

mnn2501 · #19 10/28/13, 06:58 PM

Its a Christian College - either she signed up for it or her parents signed her up, if she is in college she is old enough to leave if she wants to. Do you believe she is being held prisoner against her will?

From what I read in the brochure, while it is very strict, I also think you're being a little bit dramatic.

unregistered41671 · #20 10/28/13, 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tlrnnp67

And no, she seems perfectly content. It's amazing how happy you can be in captivity if you're raised that way.

She is not in captivity.