Miffed.

HillRunner · #1 02/18/12, 03:03 PM

So here's the story my grandfather passed away yesterday. Hey was one of the if not the best farmer in the county. If anyone was having problems with there cattle or animals they would call him. Ten years ago he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. You know everyone would come over to are house and visit talk and sit a spell but as soon as he was dignosed his so called "friends" disappeared he was still in his right mind then. Now they come back wish well and all (and think it makes it alright? ). But he could of used them when he was still alive I'm sorry for the rant it just seems like someone's "friends" should atleast have the respect and dignity to come and see them when there sick and need them. Again sorry for the rant.

plowjockey · #2 02/18/12, 03:19 PM

Why do you think they stopped coming over? Just curious.

IMO, alzheimers is not a regular illness. It is one actually losing their mind, even though they look completley "normal". If he was diagnosed with it, was he really always "in his right mind"?

Maybe they had experienced him, in a way that made them feel very uneasy, which happens a lot with this disease. Maybe not. Sometimes the patient doesn't have the slighest idea, who they are talking to and it might be their brother.

It's sound's like the farmers might be just paying their respects, after his death.

There still is a lot of taboo, with alzheimers, IMO.

Hang in there.

naturelover · #3 02/18/12, 03:25 PM

It happens, not only with friends but often with family members too. Many people are too uncomfortable to try to socialize with someone who has Alzheimers or other forms of senile dementia or mental illness. They just don't know how to deal with it. Try not to hold a grudge.

My condolences to you on the loss of your grandfather.

.

Callieslamb · #4 02/18/12, 05:19 PM

They were probably just afraid. Didn't know what to say or how to say it. Much of the news about Alzheimers doesn't leave friends with much to go on. Next time, - call some of his friends and ask them if they have time to visit.

pancho · #5 02/18/12, 05:24 PM

My mother had alzheimers. It was easy to see even in the early stages.
Later on she didn't know a single person or even if there was anyone there.
Real sad.
Sorry about your grandfather.

bruce2288 · #6 02/19/12, 10:20 AM

This is so common. I have heard others and myself say "I should have went a seen him" It is generally not an enjoyable to visit someone who is a shell of their former selves, whether physical or mental. So we put it off and often regret that decision. i also the reminder of ones own mortality is avoided.
Instead of being angry at others, use this as a lesson. Is their anyone that maybe you need to visit, do that you do not have regrets at a funeral.
I hope you can find some comfort in your grief.

pancho · #7 02/19/12, 10:31 AM

I have often wondered if it is better to have a good memory of your last visit with a loved one to remember or have a last visit when both are in the worst parts of their lives?

fantasymaker · #8 02/19/12, 11:39 AM

My Dad is getting that way. At one time was friends to everybody and mean as hell to family.
Now that his mind is going he is getting mean to everybody and of course they dont want to visit.