Just moved to Texas! Now this is a state that knows how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place!
It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm
turning into a sun worshipper.
June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots
of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing
the lawn for me.
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do
people get used to this kind of heat?
At least, it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the
heat is taking longer than I expected.
July 15th:
Fell asleep by the community pool. (Got 3rd degree burns
over 60% of my body).. Missed 3 days of work. What a
dumb thing to do.
I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a
climate like this.
July 20th:
I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left
this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita
had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then
popped like a water balloon.
The car now smells like Kibbles and ----s.
I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.
July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!!
And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the
fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell
me he needed to order parts.
July 30th:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now,
$225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Lomita is
the lucky one.
Why did I ever come here?
Aug. 4th:
It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today.
It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85.. I hate
this stupid state.
Aug. 8th:
If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm
going to strangle him. ---- heat. By the time I get to work,
the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I
smell like baked cat!!
Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when
sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire.
My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all
the hair on the back of my legs and ass .. . . Now my car smells
like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.
Aug 10th:
The weather report might as well be a ---- recording. Hot
and sunny.
Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do ----
for 2 ---- months and the weatherman says it might really warm up
next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this ---- state? Water rationing
will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry
up and blow over.
Even the cactus can't live in this ---- heat.
Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Cactus are dead.
Forgot to crack the window and blew the ---- windshield out
of the car. The installer came to fix it and guess what he
asked me??? "Hot enough for you today?"
My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail..
Freaking Texas .
What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??
Will write later to let you know how the trial goes.
__________________
"If you tickle the earth with a hoe she laughs with a harvest."
- Douglas William Jerrold
Just got out of the car in my new home - Grayling, Michigan. Forget Texas - this is the place to be!
Bright sunny days here, and the nights are so blissfully cool! I can't get enough of the delightful coolness! Why didn't I think of this sooner? The lucky people of Grayling have been basking in this perfect climate for years!
Just got out of the car in my new home - Grayling, Michigan. Forget Texas - this is the place to be!
Bright sunny days here, and the nights are so blissfully cool! I can't get enough of the delightful coolness! Why didn't I think of this sooner? The lucky people of Grayling have been basking in this perfect climate for years!
Yeah, some folks just can't take the heat. Cluck cluck cluck all the way home to Minnesota. We're used to it here. I was out today, it's 105 here right this minute, and I've been working on expanding the garden area for fall planting. Added another 25'x75', and have shoveled about 1.5 yards compost so far today. Now granted I'm not as young and spry as I used to be. I'm 46, carrying a little extra weight, and have smallish children to care for (I had my babies late). But by Gord, I can still work out in the heat. Ain't skeered, and ain't chicken....
And Fowler, your post was hilarious!! Especially like the part where the cactus have died!
Curtis, it's a joke thing. Kind of like the "I love winter" one where the guy who loves snow starts to hate it and thinks his neighbor is nuts for telling him he'll need to shovel the snow off his roof. Roof collapses, he attacks neighbor, sets remains of house on fire and ends up in a padded room.
I think I'll stick with shoveling snow. I've been in Texas in August, an experience I do not care to repeat.
