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  #1  
Old 08/03/11, 12:02 PM
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Corpus Christi, Texas
Posts: 4,290
Ode to Texas

The devil wanted a place on earth

Sort of a summer home

A place to spend his vacation

Whenever he wanted to roam.

So he picked out Texas

A place both wretched and rough

Where the climate was to his liking

And the cowboys hardened and tough.

He dried up the streams in the canyons

And ordered no rain to fall

He dried up the lakes in the valleys

Then baked and scorched it all.

Then over his barren country

He transplanted shrubs from hell.

The cactus, thistle and prickly pear

The climate suited them well.

Now the home was much to his liking

But animal life, he had none.

So he created crawling creatures

That all mankind would shun.

First he made the rattlesnake

With it's forked poisonous tongue.

Taught it to strike and rattle

And how to swallow it's young.

Then he made scorpions and lizards

And the ugly old horned toad.

He placed spiders of every description

Under rocks by the side of the road

Then he ordered the sun to shine hotter, Hotter and hotter still.

Until even the cactus wilted

And the old horned lizard took ill.

Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom

As any creator would

He chuckled a little up his sleeve

And admitted that it was good.

'Twas summer now and Satan lay

By a prickly pear to rest.

The sweat rolled off his swarthy brow

So he took off his coat and vest.

"By Golly," he finally panted,

"I did my job too well,

I'm going back to where I came from,

Texas is hotter than Hell."

Please Lord, now that he's gone, won't you send rain?

.
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  #2  
Old 08/03/11, 12:37 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: West Texas/South Plains
Posts: 349
I love this! Did you write it?
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  #3  
Old 08/03/11, 12:41 PM
busca la bella vida
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: N.E. Texas
Posts: 158
Oh mercy, hilarious!!! I needed that. And seriously Lord, please make it rain!! It's supposed to be 111 today, might go fry my lunch eggs on the sidewalk
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  #4  
Old 08/03/11, 12:47 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: SE Minnesota
Posts: 1,961
great!
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  #5  
Old 08/03/11, 01:10 PM
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Corpus Christi, Texas
Posts: 4,290
Quote:
Originally Posted by Serena View Post
I love this! Did you write it?
Nope, but when I saw it I just couldn't pass it up...

.
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  #6  
Old 08/03/11, 02:42 PM
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: N TX
Posts: 985
One good thing about Texas, if you don't make it into heaven the alternative will seem cool and refreshing!
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  #7  
Old 08/03/11, 03:14 PM
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Corpus Christi, Texas
Posts: 4,290
Quote:
Originally Posted by mothernature View Post
One good thing about Texas, if you don't make it into heaven the alternative will seem cool and refreshing!


Ain't that the truth...

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  #8  
Old 08/03/11, 03:38 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Texas Angel
Posts: 6,489
Quote:
Originally Posted by mothernature View Post
One good thing about Texas, if you don't make it into heaven the alternative will seem cool and refreshing!
I cant wait...anythings gotta be cooler than this.
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  #9  
Old 08/03/11, 03:43 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 5,251
I feel for you all. I know you've been having it really bad there. Here, right now, it's 105 degrees with a heat index of 126. I've been outside in it most of the day. It's plum unbearable.
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  #10  
Old 08/06/11, 12:05 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: N. E. TX
Posts: 29,592
Have we hit 40+ days of over 100 yet???

I wanna go back to NH!
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