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Old 06/19/16, 10:13 AM
Realist
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 535
Lucky, Lucky, Lucky(redacted)

I love redacted stuff, because I get to use my own imagination. My favorite one was my first one, I saw this on Johnny Carson years ago, when he read a note from a viewer, and substituted "umm-unh" for anything inappropriate, to get by the censors. Here it is:

Umm-unh are umm-unh
Umm-unh are umm-unh
If I had a umm-unh
I'd umm-unh your umm-unh.

Another one of my favorites:
Bob goes to work one morning, and the bossman calls out "Good morning, Bob."
Bob said "Don't call me Bob, call me Lucky!"
"Lucky?" asked the boos. "What happened?"

Bob said "I got out of the car and found a dollar laying on the ground, right there!"

"Wow, that really is lucky" said his boss.

Next morning the boss greeted him with "Good morning Lucky"

"Don't call me Lucky" said Bob. "Call me Lucky Lucky!"

"Lucky Lucky?!" asked the boss. What happened now?"

"I took that dollar I found and bought a lottery ticket and won $500." answered Bob, and after work, I'm gonna cash my ticket and start enjoying my luck!"

"Well, now, you really are Lucky Lucky" Said the boss.

Nobody saw Bob for weeks, then finally he showed up one morning, both legs in a cast.

"What happened, Lucky Lucky?" asked the bossman.

"Don't call me Lucky Lucky anymore. Call me Lucky Lucky Lucky"

Why, what happened now?
"Well, I xxxx xxxx xx x xxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxx xx. Xxxxx xxx x xxx x xxxx xxxxxx xx xxxx x xxxx xx xxxxx xxxxxxx"

Bossman said, "Man, that don't sound lucky to me."

"Yeah it was, said Bob. "A minute earlier and it would have been xx xxxx xxx xxxx xxxxxx!!"
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