Prayers unanswered, dreams not realized

[Shrek]

When you see one face to face years later, do you appreciate it?

Way back in the ancient times (at least 1975) there was a hot girl in school who had everything in the right places, dreams of her own career success, settling down and plenty of us guys dreaming of hooking up with her for life for the next 10 or 15 years.

Of course one of the guys did win her and together they followed both of their dreams running his house contractor business.

The last time I saw them about eight years ago he had built about half the houses in a small subdivision, they had a nice McMansion and three kids as I recall.

This evening while we were out I saw her with who my girlfriend said was one of their grand kids and that gal had lost the last of her trophy eye candy looks and was driving a rusted out beater 1990s Toyota.

On the way back to GFs house I said I guess the housing crisis must have hit them hard and she told me she heard that she was going down the slide even when I last saw them living a good life and her tastes were always way above what her husband could provide after he had built and sold his first few houses and in the last few years they have lost all the good things they had and he now works for an insurance restoration contractor and she just browbeats him all the time because he can't feed her tastes that she still has like she wants.

After she told me what she had heard all I could do was look at her and smile. When she asked what I was thinking I said I was thinking about how happy I was that he got Miss Hotty and I got knocked out of the race early on.

So do you appreciate your unanswered prayers and unrealized dreams for the true value they possess?

[CajunSunshine]

Much suffering often comes from the wish of our own happiness...



.

Based on your numbers, they had 30 good years.

[starjj]

Personally I get no pleasure in happiness over others troubles and posting about them the internet

Perhaps instead of pleasure in your own and girlfriend's path you could say a prayer for a someone you knew way back then. Tough times hit us ALL I see no personal relief or hapiness in it

[Laura Zone 10]

I am glad that when I ask for things, etc.....out of a selfish or foolish heart.....that God protects me from myself, by not giving me the thing, etc.

[farmrbrown]

I think Shrek's example may be misinterpreted.
It's not gloating over another's misfortune, but happiness that your desire when you were young and dumb wasn't met.
It doesn't have to be a person, it could be a career or eduction choice, even something as simple as a car or home that you "lost out on".

My point was that 30 years is a resounding success. I know some sillyheads will say "It wasn't the perfect, forever love.." Although they're still together. Not only that, if you think 30 years ain't forever, try holding your need to urinate and tell me exactly how long forever is.
It's not up to me to question someone else's motivation in their postings.

[Ramblin Wreck]

Yeah, farmrbrown, that's how I took it too.

And I understand Zong's comment, and it is one way to attack life. Sounds like they had fun for 30 years, and it's possible it could have continued longer, absent the economy tanking. They lived for the day.

As I look back, my life path seems now to be somewhat accidental with significant diversions caused by events that hit me out of the blue. Some things were constant though, maybe you could even call it strategic. But it kept me on a path to somewhere. Followed Dad's advice, and worked for a great place with a great retirement plan. (He didn't and said he regretted it very much in his old age.) I kept every piece of property that was ever gifted to me or that I bought. A good chunk of that is the farm where I now live, and very happily so. We maintain close family ties, even if it gets aggravating at times. Nobody said being a family was easy, but the rewards are worth it in the end. Guess so anyway. I still can't find my t-post tamper, and I'm sure some of the riff raff around here has it.

Meanwhile back at the thread: I am thankful for not getting all that I wished for as it may have really screwed other things up. (Prayers are a different matter, and I do not pray for material stuff or even to get a particular girlfriend. I do pray in heavy traffic and at takeoff at the airport.)

[Oxankle]

I'm with Shrek on this. Been there, done that.

Two points: Had another man had miss hotty he might not have let her run all over him. She was obviously a spoiled brat who capitalized on her good looks and dominated her husband. Had the husband the gonads to tell her how life worked she might still be living in the McMansion and her husband would not be slaving away at carpentry in his old age.

Second point: It is better for the men who lost her to learn of her faults after someone else marries her than to learn first-hand.

Loving a woman does not mean that you let her ruin both your lives.
Ox

[SimplerTimez]

Hmmm. Dreams not realized. Can't say as I've ever been in such a situation as Shrek relates. My life has had its ups and downs and I don't spend much time looking at others and thinking "Gosh, glad that isn't me." I figure I've got enough on my plate taking care of my own stuff. I don't spend a lot of time on 'what could have beens' as I really don't have those about any person - maybe about my little place that I lost, once in a while.

I appreciate the opportunities that I've had, even the ones that didn't work out like I envisioned them or worked towards fulfilling.

The only true unrealized dream I still have is to be back on land, and I'm still workin' on that one I'm not six feet under yet, so it is still in the realm of possibility.

~ST

Let's see it like it is: These people have been together 38 years, more or less, and apparently 30 or more of them living the life they aspired to. Raised their kids. Supported themselves. Still together! Through thick and thin. People talk about them.

Yeah, the views on this situation is all there is. There is no situation. Here is a good opportunity to study yourself. Bad? Why do you see it that way? Good? Same question.

Some people are perma-singles, even when attached.

[doingitmyself]

Back in the day we all were trophies to someone. Then life happened, disease, weight gain, age, divorce, slumping economy whatever it was... it happened.

Only now do most of us know a "keeper" when we see it. I have always been happy with "just enough", and i will continue to be happy with "just enough". And you can bet when i meet "the right one" i will not pause, hesitate, or be wishy washy, as at 53 my TIME left on this rodeo ride is as valuable as cash, grass, or !!!!

I thought the OP was right on target, i have seen very nearly the same scenario with my high school best friend.

[starjj]

Yes it could be ANYTHING however may the heavens fall I am in agreement with Zong on this at least they have made it through although not with all the trophy trappings. Perhaps it is more of what you have together WITHOUT the trappings. The point is he used an example of another person's so called "losts" to chuckle at. There for the grace of God go I is not should not be far from any of our minds

[roadless]

I know my ex and I view our 30 years together quite differently.

For me, I am grateful that I married a man who made my heart go boom for years. I grateful that our daughters were conceived in love and had two parents who were always there for them as they grew.
I am grateful that I helped to create a warm family home for ourselves and friends.

There was a time in my life that I believed the above things were for others but not me, I am grateful that was not the case.

Maybe, just maybe it can happen again.

[L.A.]

Well,,,,I was the "Hot Guy",,way back then,,,,and,,,Yep,,,Still am !!

[thesedays]

There was a boy I knew in high school to whom I was very attracted, and he knew it too, but I finally had to accept the fact that he was not interested in me.

Some years later, I was lamenting that he was "the one who got away" when it all came crashing down on me like a ton of bricks: "Planet Earth calling thesedays: he's gay!" I don't know for sure if that's the case, but looking back, yeah, I think he is.

And if he is, I hope he finds the man who can make him happy for life, because he's a nice person and deserves it.

[sustainabilly]

I think the aphorism, "Be careful what you wish for..." is absolutely warranted in some situations. Unfortunately, its lesson is often learned though hindsight. Which makes it even more important to keep in mind if you don't want to keep making the same mistakes over and over again. From my take on the point of view of the OP, who's head no one is truly inside of, I simply took it as gratefulness for the way things turned out, in his case...counting one's blessings. Simply an observation. Also, a good example, or object lesson, of the above saying.

[RubyRed]

Thank God, (universe, deity or whomever/whatever one thanks). That time changes. What we think we want at the "time", is basically an urge, to fulfill the now.

No one is exempt of changes and only a fool feels comfortable in the "now", thinking it will be their, "then".

[FarmChix]

Reminds me of the Garth Brooks song, "some of God's greatest gifts....are unanswered prayers". I don't think any of us wish ill on another. It isn't wrong, in my opinion, however, to occasionally do a *whew-that could have been me*. I prefer to think of it as divine intervention. He gives me what I need, when I need it.