They really don't care ....

HilltopDaisy · #1 01/10/12, 07:05 PM

They really don't care if I'm old.

Becoming "older" is tough. I'm 54 now, and I can really see my body changing. I'm not the same.

I still haul hay and water to 3 horses, and 20 goats, and 4 sheep, and quite a few poultry.

I look in the mirror and feel sad, and tired, and old.

Then I sit on the floor and I am covered with kisses and I feel the love from my dogs and cats, and I forget all about me, and it's all about them. I never had children, so it really is all about the pets.

I guess I'm still in transition; I'm mourning the loss of 3, and rejoicing in 3 additions.

Sorry, I am a mess. I brought home a new dog last night. Her owner died, and the family is a wreck, and all I can think about is my mother who died at the age of 51, with no warning. That was over 20 years ago and it still kills me.

So, this post is a mish mosh of lots of emotions.

beccachow · #2 01/10/12, 07:09 PM

(((hugs)))) We all get it, HTD! Still, there is something so pure in an animal's adoration and love that makes it all worthwhile. I am so sorry the new pup is churning up old emotions for you; sounds like you two have found each other for a reason.

Minelson · #3 01/10/12, 08:22 PM

Hilltop! I know exactly how you feel...especially if it's all over the place, mish mosh. No kids here either and love the reminder of how my critters love me no matter what.
(((hugs)))

gapeach · #4 01/10/12, 09:21 PM

Hilltop, you are not old! You are going through a bad time but honey, believe me, you are not old.

Hugs to you and hope things get better for you. Hang in there.

wanda1950 · #5 01/10/12, 10:45 PM

Getting older is hard. Having a child in some ways marks time passing even deeper--I look at a grown man instead of a boy & realize time has got away from me.

But, like you, I can still do a lot--just slower. The changes in appearance & health are pretty rough, though.

Sometimes it helps to have a good crying fit. I hope you soon feel better.

LonelyNorthwind · #6 01/10/12, 11:16 PM

Aw, sweetheart, don't be sad. It hits me now and then that my own mother died at 52 and I'm already 64. It makes me sad she missed so much, she didn't get to raise us when we were kids - we were all 6 scattered in foster homes - but I'll never stop missing her, the rare moments we had together and moments not to be.

You know what's funny? I look at photos of myself at 54, the ones I thought were horrible, old and ugly? NOW I think I looked great and the photo taken of me yesterday looks horrible and ugly..Let's hope in 10 years I'll decide that one looks pretty good too. It's all a matter of perspective.

My grandson stole my dog so now I only have my kitty Pearl to snuggle through the night and tell me when it's morning but that's okay. she's warm and I like to think she loves me. Besides, she makes me get up and feed her!
Be greatful for all those wonderful critters who depend on you, they're a lot easier to please and they just love you 'cause they do. don't be sad.
Love, Gramma

acde · #7 01/10/12, 11:47 PM

hilltop, Sending hugs you way.so glad you have lots of animals to let you know how loved you are.

SageLady · #8 01/11/12, 05:55 AM

I'm 54 too so I know how you feel... I think our pets keep us going and keep us young.

Bless you for giving your new pup a good home.

sherry in Maine · #9 01/11/12, 06:06 AM

Hilltop Daisy! I am sorry you are feeling down.

Is 54 old? NO! Please . . . . (I'm 54, give me a break . . . )
You are right about animals. They love ya no matter how you look, if your hair doesn't lay right, or your clothes dont look fashionable.
Yes, my dad died a month after his 50th birthday. He had health issues that I dont have.
I'm glad you took the dog, too.

fishhead · #10 01/11/12, 07:38 AM

I think dogs are like happy children that never grow up. If you are gentle and happy with them they are like giggling kids enjoying life. They pass that happiness back to the owner.

It's best not to dwell on age but sometimes that's not easy.

I do remember a woman who took up running when she was in her mid-50's. Now she does some 100 mile marathon out west that takes 24 hours.

HilltopDaisy · #11 01/11/12, 09:00 AM

Thanks everybody, I knew it was safe to let it out here and that you would understand.

Sonshine · #12 01/11/12, 09:14 AM

HilltopDaisy, I wish you were closer to I could give you a hug. I went many years with my pets being my kids. They bring so much comfort. I'm sorry that you are going through a rough time, believe me when I say that I understand. Tomorrow is another day and I pray that it's a wonderful day for you and that your furry kids give you an over abundance of love and affection.

HilltopDaisy · #13 01/11/12, 12:48 PM

Today is an amazing day; it's sunny and 40+ degrees. Just came inside from a long romp with the 3 little dogs, they ran and ran, and had a ball.

It's nice to know there are 2 more 54 yo ladies here!

Sonshine · #14 01/11/12, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HilltopDaisy

Today is an amazing day; it's sunny and 40+ degrees. Just came inside from a long romp with the 3 little dogs, they ran and ran, and had a ball.

It's nice to know there are 2 more 54 yo ladies here!

I'm also 54.

fishhead · #15 01/11/12, 04:49 PM

I'm 54+

Ruby · #16 01/11/12, 05:13 PM

I just turned 66 in Nov. My mom died at 69, but I keep telling myself it was because she was diebetic and didn't try to control it. I'm not, but heart problems run on her side of the family. In fact my brother that was 7 yrs. older than me died at 43 with a massive heart attack when he came home for lunch from work.

I think our animals keep us going and you are right, they love us no matter how we look (or smell, lol). One of mine gets me up every morning and sometime like time like this morning it was 4:30 am.

Linsay2231 · #17 01/11/12, 09:53 PM

My mom is 56 and she just seems to keep getting younger! She recently went on a diet and lost 30 lbs, started exercising, and I can't believe how good she looks! You aren't old at all! :-)

doozie · #18 01/14/12, 05:01 PM

Hilltop, I am a member of the 54 club too. Some days I can do lots, some days not. My dogs are the only reason I get out of bed some days (other than having to go to work). I have to get them fed, out, cleaned up after, all they have to do is be here. They have kept me young, get me outside everyday, sometimes we go for long walks and I feel great after one of those. It just snowed here a few days ago, my back is feeling it from making them shoveled trails in the back yard. I swear last year it was no problem to do shoveling LOL.
Do you have a picture of your new addition?

Linda J · #19 01/14/12, 05:32 PM

I'm 60. Love to join the club, though! I feel the same way, Hilltop. Just weary most of the time.

Love to see a picture of your new baby.

GrannyCarol · #20 01/14/12, 10:50 PM

Can I join? I'm 58 now. Getting slower for sure. I'm thinking a puppy would help this spring, I'm sure it would! I haven't had a puppy for many years, I could use the excuse to have to get outside and do stuff! Well, maybe I just want a puppy?