Regrets

GoatGirl123 · #1 09/19/14, 11:33 AM

I know none of it was my fault, but I can't help sometimes feeling like I could have prevented the three goat deaths we've had at our farm. UG the last one was five months ago, but I still feel awful about it! First it was Timmy, who died of unknown causes (it was possibly Polio or it could have been he ate something poisonous.) We were on vacation when it happened, and had left the goats in the trust of extended family. I know it's silly to think we could have prevented it if we'd been home, but what if??? And then Buttercup, who had a severe allergic reaction to her shots. We didn't know enough then to give her the reverse thing. I feel really awful about that, because we could have easily prevented it. And then last April, poor Cracker was born a runt and never grew properly, and died of Coccidiosis even though we'd given him strong Coccidia treatment and some Electrolytes. What if we'd given him Coccidia prevention earlier???
Does everyone feel this way? Ug, I don't want to feel sorry for myself but I do! I know I should be over it by now but I'm not! [Sigh] I tell myself over and over that we couldn't have done anything, but something in my brain always says 'but what if you could?'

GraceAlice · #2 09/19/14, 11:53 AM

I think of it this way.

God intended you to lose those particular goats, so you could learn from the experiences and grow stronger. You weren't brought down that path to face regrets and question your decisions. You were brought down it to make you stronger so your existing animals can have even better lives and so that you are able to grow from these hard things. Life does that to us, and this is just a small example.

In these past few months, what if hasn't gone through my mind much at all. Because I believe things happen for a reason. I believe that there aren't any what ifs in life, because God has it all planned out for each and every one of us from the time we are put on Earth, so to speak.

That's what helps me stand my ground at times.

GoatGirl123 · #3 09/19/14, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GraceAlice

I think of it this way.

God intended you to lose those particular goats, so you could learn from the experiences and grow stronger. You weren't brought down that path to face regrets and question your decisions. You were brought down it to make you stronger so your existing animals can have even better lives and so that you are able to grow from these hard things. Life does that to us, and this is just a small example.

Thanks for saying that, I needed it.

Pony · #4 09/19/14, 12:55 PM

There is a cosmically steep learning curve with goats, so you can't beat yourself up for not knowing what you didn't know.

Would you come down on a 3 year old for not knowing how to drive a car? On a 5 year old for being unable to produce a gourmet meal?

Neither should you blame yourself for not knowing what to do before. Now, you know, but there are still times when even your best efforts will not be enough.

Sad fact of life: If you have livestock, you will sometimes have dead stock.

{hug} Cut yourself some slack, darlin'!

njenner · #5 09/19/14, 01:32 PM

I totally understand that feeling. I lost two turkeys this year for no known cause. I started out blaming myself - but like others have said; if you are going to raise livestock, you will lose some and many times there is nothing you could have done.

motdaugrnds · #6 09/19/14, 01:46 PM

Goatgirl123, you are going thru what most all of us goat owners do; and as has been said, it is all experiences we learn from. Beating yourself up for not knowing is useless.

I've been raising large Nubians since 1996 and, still, I'm having situations occur that I handle badly. (Not having vets who understand goats just means some of us have to learn the hard way, i.e. by losing a goat now and then.)

Alice In TX/MO · #7 09/19/14, 04:15 PM

One of the hardest lessons is that goat kids die. Awful.

Huggs,

Alice

Clovers_Clan · #8 09/19/14, 04:56 PM

Focus on the myriad ways you have kept your goats ALIVE and HEALTHY! You are human, there should be no shame in doing your best and learning from mistakes. There are no regrets keeping pet rocks...but they aren't much fun either.

nehimama · #9 09/19/14, 04:58 PM

I certainly understand! I had a lovely, VERY promising young doe die of Listeriosis this past winter. Knowing full well I did all I could do for her, I *still* ask myself, "What if I had done this or that." That does not help, but should this ever present again, I'll recognize it and know what to do!

GraceAlice · #10 09/19/14, 06:38 PM

I don't know Clovers Clan... I've had a few pet rocks turn on me recently!

Pony · #11 09/20/14, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clovers_Clan

Focus on the myriad ways you have kept your goats ALIVE and HEALTHY! You are human, there should be no shame in doing your best and learning from mistakes. There are no regrets keeping pet rocks...but they aren't much fun either.

Totally aside, but I love that you know how use the word "myriad" properly.

punchiepal · #12 09/20/14, 11:06 AM

I always try to find something to learn from the experience. Sometimes it's the only thing you can do.