Dangers of Goats! Never ever flounce in the barn yard.

[onebizebee]

When you have a farm... ladies and some men I suppose. You are in constant danger. In danger of breaking your flouncer. Think a whole lot of marbles. Lots and lots of marbles. Little brown rollie marbles. Thousands of them. They are the enemy. The makers of these are in production 24/7. They never stop ever.
I went to feed the goats and milk this evening as usual. It's been awful dry you see and the barn was just cleaned and raked a few days ago. So the dirt floor is hard and compacted. There are goat berries everywhere (aka brown marbles.) I decided I would beat the goats to the barn and shut the door so I would not have to fight sorting them out on the milk stand. This was a mistake. First of all I should not be running. Clumps of grass to avoid. Hurtling over the pig and narrowly missing the hose that someone conveniently left draped across the path in the pigs pool. I make it in the barn grabbing the door just in time before the goats got there feeling all proud of myself for actually beating them for once. As I went in the doorway my lead foot hit the rollie brown evil marbles. Think back to our days when cartoons showed the marbles on the floor. Umm yea that happens for real!!! I did not know I could do the splits and still be in forward motion at the same time! Managed to spill about a quarter of the feed bucket and I am pretty sure I heard the pig singing "OH HAPPY DAY!!!" Of course the barn door swung right back open while I am desperately flailing to get a hold of something to stop the forward motion of the turd rolling splits before I hit the milk stand with my face! Managed to grab the divider wall at which my body made an announcement to itself "Attention all parts that can herniate! All together now!!!" OMG bad body!!!! Finally came to a stop and gravity kicked in to jerk me to the ground. The goats are standing there looking at me like what the heck woman the pig is eating our food! I just sat there deciding what part to test first. I was shocked all parts seem to be in working order I gingerly pulled myself up and stood there waiting for something to happen. Nothing did. Brownie is up on the milk stand looking at me like what is the hold up? So I got her milked and carefully walked out of the barn. Wanting to desperately flounce out of there but decided that would be an unwise course of action. My ankle is soar again I assume from the prior episode of no flouncing on the farm due to the unfortunate event of ice skating on fresh chicken shi...sugar! So no flouncing to show anyone you are boss cause when it boils down to it you are not boss they are. One closing word for yesterday's barn yard adventures Ibuprofen.

[Alice In TX/MO]

Looks like the intro to a good book!

[Backfourty,MI.]

It sounds like you'd have been a contender on Funniest Home Video's! Even though I'm sure it wasn't too funny at the time. Glad your not hurt too badly.

[dozedotz]

I apologize in advance of saying that I laughed all the way through this!! Hilarious! and true...no wonder we love our lives so much.

[where I want to]

Yes- summer's ball bearings. Since I have rubber mats for paths for the goats, there is always sometime were a skid will occur. Even seen a goat do it.

[Doug Hodges]

I have issues with my geese sleeping right outside my gate to the pasture. The _ _ _ _ is getting deep at that spot. Its almost like wading in that area now. So far no problems with berries (marbles). I laughed too.................

[BlueRose]

I needed a good laugh

[trnubian]

That was hilarious. Lol

[Minelson]

OMG! I can just picture it!! too funny but so glad you are ok!

[Awnry Abe]

Hope you dusted off well before going inside....

[SkeeterBlue]

Oh, I think I woke the hubbers laughing so loud. Now I feel guilty for laughing at what I know was a painful experience for you! But thank you for sharing.