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Vertigo Goatie Outing...Round Two
So since the first episode went SOOOO well, I decded to invite them back out to play. After all, I had a pool full of kids, so what can go wrong? Out they come, Sammy doing his bowling ball attmept that I swiftly sidestepped (fell inot the gate, but side stepped). And the race is on.
Now if I ever had any doubts as to if goats were stupid or smart, they are gone. We have about 6 tons of dirt we spread to cover an old collapsed barn and meld the landscape. Annie's first venture was to the dirt. Where she stood, looked confused, and cried pitifully. By now, her herdmates are A)on the hill I hate for them to be on B) hanging by his teeth from a tree branch and C)eating dried up dead leaves. I collect the goats, but Sammy Sheep is still on that hill I hate for hinm to be on (our neighbor lets his rottie run loose and I am petrified he will come down the driveway and see a big old slab of mutton eating clover). I confidentally yell to the kids in the pool, "Guys, get me one loaded squirtgun." They all runout, squirtguns in hand, and proceed to hit Sammy from all four sides at once. Not knowing where he was supposed to go, he jumped straight up in the air. Then, he aims for the smallest of the kids to run past. Don't worry, cool chlorinated pool water is excellent for hoof prints on bare feet. I get everyone collected in relatively the same spot, when a child announces he needs to use the bathroom. For some reason, Sammy decides THIS child is the herd leader and follows him up the kitchen steps. One squirt gun later, he is wet, mad, but back down. Then, I decide to sneak around the corner for a smoke (bad habit I picked up again a few weeks back). Well, Sammy, Annie, and SMokie decide that since I am out of sight, all heck is breaking loose and they must find me now. The children think this is hysterical and follow them...to catch me, crouching in a corner smoking. "Bad ------! Put that out!" I chide. He ignores me. Meanwhile, ------ has once again attached himself by his teeth to a branch and is swinging like a Cirque du Soliel performer. Things calm, they munch, I decided after aout 30 minutes to put them back. Note: *I* decided to oput them back. they had other ideas. Now I have learned from my mistakes of the otehr day, so I decide to sneak into the barn through a heavy side door and get to the hay from the insdie that way. Snickering at my outwitting them, I reach through the opening to discover that my arm doesn't quite reach the slide bolt to lock it behind myself. Now I have a 150 pound sheep, a 90 pound goat and two goats that might weigh the size of a watermelon between them shoving BACK at the door that I cannot latch. I am holding steady until I tripped over that rake...but don't be alarmed, here comes the oldest child with a fully loaded squirt gun. Which was ignored. By everyone. The child himself was drenched. Now the goats KNOW where I get the hay from really, and decide to head over there enmasse to that door and start shoving noses under it. Next thing I hear is cires of terror and fright as I see through the small slit that I cannot get my arn out of int he dorr, all 4 tearing off around the corner....INTO THE PASTURE! I throw open the door, make a wild dash into a tree, and get to the gate...just as they all 4 came running back through it. I have various hoof prints on my feet, pygmy goats have the cutest little hooves, don't they?
I sneak back in, get the hay and trick them back out into the pasture...the older child was still there and yelled, "Should I shut the gate?" To which I poliely responded, "Yes, please, that would be most nice" or something like that. He gamely starts tugging on the gate, which is, naturally stuck open. Sammy looks at me, I look at Sammy...the dash is on. Did you know you can actually slip in goat and sheep manure? I do, now. Since Sammy is fat, and I am clumsy, it was touch and go there for a minute. But I won, shoving the gate closed...firmly on Sammy's nose. He baaad at me and stuck his hoof at me through the slat (I suspect he tried to punch me) but I laughed cause he missed.
And I still cannot find my walkity stick. Which was just as well, because I am not sure WHO I would have used it on today.
Yes, I will be going to SS tomorrow for feed...I am too old and clutzy to do this agin.
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Becky
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