frustrated with MIL about the buck!!

[deafgoatlady]

OOh my gosh. Today I asked her if she is planning on breeding for her goats.. She said yes. I said ohh is ur buckling ready to breed. She said no he is only 4 months old. I said well maybe he can. She said no. I was like okay. She said that she is looking for a buck to rent.. I said okay. Then she ask me if I still have the newest buck. I said yes i still have him. She goes to me let me have him. I said no i will not let anyone rent my buck.. I am so sorry. She said WHY. I said becuz of what happened last year that I lost my wonderful gentle buck when he was at ur house.. I wasnt trying to be mean. I was trying to be VERY careful. She got mad at me and said that it WASNT her fault that the buck died.. I am like it just happens and I dont wanna to take the risk again.. And now she wants to bring her goats to my house. I dont want to. Becuz she wont pay me for boarding since her goats are piggys.. LOL.. Soo. I am just frustrated with this.. (sigh)..

[Minelson]

Uh-oh. Don't give in!!!! Try to avoid the subject with her. This sounds like a bad position to be in ....what does your DH say about it?

[QoTL]

Oh, this is a horrible position to be in!! Sounds awful! And unless your dh has kinda a crappy relationship with her, you can't win!

I tend to take the coward way out, and make dh deal with my MIL. He knows what to say to get her to back off and I... even after 9 years.. don't. My MIL is like yours- tries to back us into a corner all the time. She's an ok person, but won't accept a "I'm sorry, but no" for an answer. And around here, when you finally get through to her, she stops talking to ya for months on end.

IMHO, you have every right to say no. But I also think you need to talk to your dh. It's HIS mother. Maybe he can talk to her? My dh has gotten good about this, but there was a time that his mother started WWIII with me, and my dh didn't want anything to do with it... even though it was HIS MOTHER. But that's a post for a different thread

Regardless, your herd is at risk here if you give in. So don't. What's the worse that will happen, honestly? If it puts your marriage at risk, then you need to decide if it's worth it. But if your dh is a good man like mine, risk making the woman furious and stand your ground. Believe me- I understand how this is. Give my MIL an inch and she'll walk all over us. (Including saying she was going to buy a trailer (a house trailer, NOT A camper) and parking it in our driveway to LIVE IN).

Meghan

[luvzmybabz]

Originally Posted by QoTL

Give my MIL an inch and she'll walk all over us. (Including saying she was going to buy a trailer (a house trailer, NOT A camper) and parking it in our driveway to LIVE IN).

Meghan

I know that feeling GMIL wanted us to buy the house that butted up to her back yard. I refused and stood my ground instead we moved 20 miles away from her

But in reference to the goats I would explain to my hubbie that I did not want to lose another goat, do you know what happened to buck #1 while at her place. If he tries to be the pacifist then write up a contract concerning feeding $$boaarding$$$ etc$$$ gather your hubby and MIL explain that you do not want to put your family in a bind over her does and ask for $$ up front. I have someone wanting me to take care of breeding their does however I am not even sure about getting mine bred and explainedthat I needed to take care of our family first and meet our breeding schedule, for our plans, she got huffy and stompted off oh well it was someone I do not know at that well and don't particularly like her anyway so it was easy for me.

[delphinium]

More to the point - her 4 month old buckling should be able to take care of business before the end of the breeding season. Why risk yours?

[deafgoatlady]

I agree and I know... My husband dont really talk to his mom that much but he seem afraid of her. I dont know what it is.. He wont say anything to her for me. But he said that I was right about this and he said he dont want his mom's goats stay at my house either for breeding.. He said she needs to understand becuz I dont want you to drive 3 or 4 hours to find the buck again if something happens to him. But he wont say that to his mom. LOL.. Soo he agrees with me.. He said dont pay attenion to her.. That is okay.. I didnt give in.. She knows that there is bunch of people have nubians bucks or goats all over.. I am like come on!! LOL..