Is it just me?...(re: clutter)

Yes. Me.

I've always been a messy person --- places which are too clean give me the willies! But never cluttered until all kinds of people started dropping dead around me and I went through a catastrophic relationship and a lot of other stuff.

On the one hand, I didn't want all this stuff, but on the other, I couldn't bear dealing with it.

So when I started decluttering, I learned to just veer away from those emotional hotspots, or just do a little with them here and there.

In fact, it was only recently that I realized I was finally all alright because I can easily plow into any pile and just start tossing --- sure, a memory might come up, but my response is this is an object that reminds me of someone --- it's not that someone --- and I still have the memory and if they're that important to me, I'll always have that memory. But if i need an object to remind me of them, they were never that important anyway.

Took some time to get there, but i did. You will, too.

My husband is a Pack-Rat! It drives me crazy---I can't stand it. Everywhere I look there is STUFF. His truck is packed to the hilt, carport, outbuildings, barns,closets ect... When he 'cleans' up all he does is move it from one side of the room/building to the other... My kids go crazy--try to tell him to throw things away but he just won't do it.. He grew up dirt poor and I beleive this is part of the problem--he feels like he is being wasteful it he gets rid of it... I have 'off-limits' rooms and places, which means if he puts his 'stuff' down in those places it gets thrown away NO questions asked. I will not let him put his STUFF in the living, dining or kitchen... And my closet.

WOW I am glad you all don't live in my house LOL! I am a compulsive de-clutterer I think. I am always looking for time to clean out the closets and reorganize everything. DH complains that he can never find anything cause I keep moving it to a new place. I grew up sharing a bedroom with a clutter bug sister and it always felt dirty to me. So now i live in a house that has no clutterbugs allowed! DH stores his clutter in the workshop (where I can never find a tool cause there is soooooo much stuff in there!) But the house is pretty well organized and I have almost cured my alergies to dust mite poop! I almost always know where to go find something if i need it and that saves a great deal of time in a busy persons life. I wish you all luck in your organization quests but I am sad about the books going out the door. I have 4 large boxes of books that are going to a really rural library tomorrow. Still makes me sad to see those leave. I agree that books are a great treasure but I seldom read any more than once unless by my favorite author Anne McCaffrey!

__________________
www.MontanaSticksAndStones.com at Goshen Farm

The problem I have with getting rid of the books is that I use them. Almost all of them are reference books. Because I homeschool my 5 kids, and my grandson, almost every book I have is necessary (I ordered 3 more last night). I just bought a dirt devil, so I'll vacuum them and hope for the best, but I MUST get this paper clutter down to a dull roar.

That's it! THAT is what I needed to hear!

thank you, Countrygrrrrrrrrllllll. :worship: :worship:

My clutter is a source of income, resources for my home projects , hobbies and help lower the overhead expense of my worm ranch. I go scavenging trash piles two or three times each week to restock my clutter.

__________________
"I didn't have time to slay the dragon. It's on my To Do list!"

Glad to be of help --- and even gladder I'm finally actually able to articulate that! But that really was the key for me.

That and anaphylactic shock! :haha:

Six years ago I went through a major de-cluttering experience. Our home burned to the ground and everything was lost! The biggest problem the fire department encountered was the couple thousand books we had on the upper level. Books, I've found, smolder and burn for a very long time. Of course, when the upper floor fell into the bottom floor, that made the job a little easier for the firemen.

I am a 'can't use it - don't want it - throw it out' person and DH is a 'maybe I'll use it someday' kind of person, so that can be an issue. I find I cannot even begin to work on any project if there is clutter around me but maybe that's an emotional hang-up from the fire experience.

Now, I try to keep only those things that are really important to me and that I would feel sad if I no longer had - and my books. However, I have been trying to buy only those that I will read more than once. I don't read fiction - use the library for that if I want to - so most of the books I buy are historical or biographies of historial figures.

ANOTHER GOOD ONE!! And I love libraries too.

I'm getting so darn many epiphanies here today!!! I"m so glad ya'll are out there in cyberland!!
:worship: :worship: :worship: :worship:

After our son moved out, DH and I sorta divided the house up into his part to clutter all he wants, and my part, to keep as uncluttered as I want. It sure cut down on the disagreements about whether to keep or pitch something. He still has all his clothes from high school and he's 54. Take it from there. So, he has one big room now that's all his to clutter as much as he wants. He knows that if he happens to leave his stuff somewhere in the house, it most likely will be gone when next he comes lookin.

My husband's the clutter-bug around here. This year I started putting his stuff in one pile and then giving him a date to sort through it and put it away. After that date anything left gets tossed (unless we actually need it). The first few times I actually followed through and tossed things he was really mad. He seems to have gotten the idea, the clutter isn't nearly as bad as it used to be.

The things I really collect are books. I can't help it, I love books. That's what I really need to work on.

"I think I am an emotional clutterer. Some things I just don't want to deal with."

I am with you all on pretty much all of this- I'd hate for anyone of y'all to come by and see my office right now, LOL! :haha: But I wanted to address this one issue: About being an emotional clutterer- keeping stuff because you just can't bear to look at it / handle it / go through it, because it hurts so much.

I've been there- big time. And I have learned one thing about that. The longer I hang onto those physical reminders, the longer the painful memories have to settle deeper and deeper into my heart. When I decided to get rid of those reminders of the pain, somehow, the pain itself began to lessen, and go away altogether in most instances. No reminders = no reason to feel that pain. Those physical reminders- like your card, Ann- are kind of like a "ball and chain" that ties that pain to you. It seems toooooo hard to deal with the memories, so you just let them sit and simmer on the back burner, not even realizing that the stench of pain is permeating your heart. Once you allow yourself- give yourself permission to drag that old stinking pot off of the stove and pitch it, you'll find a freedom to breathe that you had forgotten existed.

Many times, a problem with being able to forgive a wrongdoing can be perpetuated by holding onto those physical reminders. Once the reminders are gone, forgiveness can often come much more easily. Then, you have not only the physical freedom (less *stuff*), but also the emotional (less pain) and spiritual (freedom to forgive- and believe me, finally being able to really forgive a long-held hurt is soooooooooo wonderful!!!!) freedom that can come with decluttering. I think sometimes, some people might hang onto those physical reminders as a sort of 'symptom' of the unwillingness to let go of clutter.

I'm not pointing any fingers, here, except at myself. I just thought maybe this could help someone.

(And don't forget to turn that emotional stove off before you leave the house! :haha: )

I feel that I need to say something about the 'emotional clutter'. My high scool/college years were not happy ones. I was 'different' from most of the students. Partly because I was always an outsider, partly due to shyness, partly because smart kids don't fit in well and I always had my nose in a book. Every time I looked at my yearbooks I would get sooo depressed. Just a dark cloud seemed to come down. One day I picked up those books and put them in the woodstove. And while I was burning them I told myself I was burning all the bad memories and I was forgiving all the people who hurt me. Somehow that seemed to break the power of those memories to make me feel badly. I even once in a while remember something good from that time.

__________________
I believe in God's willingness to heal.

Cyngbaeld's Keep Heritage Farm, breeding a variety of historical birds and LaMancha goats. (It is pronounced King Bold.)

I never bought the yearbooks... now I wish I had! What a brilliant way to get closure on some pretty awful years!

We are the keepers of the Family Stuff. As the family contracts or elderly relatives are forced into smaller homes, we become The Keepers. We become the repository for the stuff they can't bear to throw away. Last year I started selling it off. I had to, there is simply no more storage space. And guess what I discovered?

The stuff that is memories to a grandmother, and junk to me... is a treasure to someone else who is willing to pay dearly to own it... and is thrilled to get it!

Now... who would you rather have posession of your memories? Someone who throws it in the closet and curses every time they have to open the door?

Or someone who is thrilled to have the thing?

Not, mind you, that my grandmother necessarily shares this view, and I have been known to lie through my teeth to spare her knowing that an item is gone... why put that burden on her? But when people write me to tell me how wonderful the item is, and how thrilled they are... well... I think "it finally has a good home and my grandfather would be thrilled."

Might it come in handy someday? Maybe.. but then you'd have to know where the silly thing is in all this clutter..

Another reason to declutter... or at least organize: You children and grandchildren!

Having just cleared out the home of 2 packrats (my in-laws died 6 weeks apart) My family and I are forever changed. My husband and I don't want my children or grandchildren to ever go through what we went through.

The problem is that family treasures and heirlooms were mixed in with so much useless stuff, but it all had to be sorted to know.

We couldn't easily locate the information papers we needed, and be sure there was not papers we didn't know about but needed to (unclaimed life insurance, stocks, etc) because of the vast amounts of paper stuff they kept.

If you really want to do your kids a favor, start now and get rid of any clothes you don't use, and any paperwork that's not important! Otherwise YOU may know that the savings account you still have receipts and a pass book to was closed in 1968, but they won't know for sure till they sort through tons of stuff or call the bank, and it adds up to months of their time. Their time is worth more than that junk. Once that much is done, start tossing the broken lamp you hope to fix someday and more.

Keep the treasures. Old letters that will let them know you better, family history.. but dump the old financial papers, and such so they no only don't have that to deal with, but so they can find the important stuff. In this day and age, scan anything you aren't sure about and leave it on a disc... saying unimportant papers I may want some day.

Clothes are so personal. It's hard enough to go through a reasonable amount of clothes, but if you have excess, it just makes the job harder.

Grandma at the cabin

"My name is Suzy and I am a cluttered Pack Rat. I do not regularly attend meetings of Messies Anonymous (MA) because I feel my addiction is something I just must live with...."

All kidding aside, I ENVY folks who are always neat and their homes are always neat and their cars and trucks are always neat....but that is not me! I have tried everything I've ever read in any book and it just doesn't work for my personality or my lifestyle...

This weekend another news buddy called me and needed info on an arrest report from nearly TWO YEARS AGO.....I knew RIGHT where the info was! It was sticking behind a picture frame on the wall! (You know, kind of stuck there in a hurry with a corner sticking out!) But anyway, I had the info he needed and sent it to him pronto!

My newspaper office looks like a newspaper truck exploded in here but I can find whatever I need...my house is never clean....my carport is a mess....I go to meetings and look in a mirror right before I go in to make sure there's no Angora rabbit hair (or chicken droppings!) stuck to me anywhere!!!!!

I am 52 years old and I've been this way all my life....so I'm going to stop trying to "fix it." We can't afford a full time secretary for me and we sure can't afford (and don't want) a full time housekeeper! So I'll just live my life the best I can AND NOT WORRY ABOUT IT ANY MORE!!!!!

BamaSuzy"

We're the same age, same addition. I sent away for info about Messies Anonymous (MA) , but misplaced it somewhere! At work every one complains about my untidy desk but all come to me for archive items. I make them swear never to complain about my desk again. I think "Clutter" is my middle name. Half my bed has library books and magazines open on it....all the time! The only clutter I ever got rid of was the ex husband!

Hi, my name is Nancy and I'm also a clutterer. I love my house when it's all nice and neat and tidy but it seems that I've discovered that the biggest messie of them all is ....... :waa: ME!!!

I do want to try and do better so am thrilled to see this thread. One quick question - how long should I keep what types of paperwork? And after how long should I get rid of which types of paperwork? Thanks!

Nancy
H'bird

__________________
God wants spiritual fruit - NOT religious nuts!

I think that the clutter habit is a compulsive habit... it could be an addiction. I have it. I have struggled with it. I will overcome someday! I strongly desire to look across neat, uncluttered, peaceful rooms.
SELF-DISCIPLINE is what I need!

I work near a Goodwill store. I have a morning and afternoon bus route. I am usually in the Goodwill store everyday... sometimes twice! Need I say anymore?
I will buy something because it's a good buy. I don't really need it. Often when I get on a de-clutter binge the items are donated back to Goodwill so they can make a profit on them again!

If a normal person uses, for example, a pair of scissors, they will use them and then put them away. I will use them and lay them down where ever I happen to be using them at.
Later I will be devastated as I look over my rooms.. wondering why I can't discipline myself to put things in their proper place immediately and eliminate clutter and extra work. These are deeply ingrained habits. I'll just keep on trying!
Good Luck,
Renee

We kind of do this too... parts fo the house we never clutter... living room, DH bathroom that doubles as a guest bath, and for the most part, the kitchen and the guest bedroom. DH is a neatness fanatic, except for in the garage!!! I'm much more of a clutter person, and our biggest problem... too much stuff and not enough storage. Most of it is stuff we use, like the hunting gear, animal supplies (horse, sheep, dogs, poultry) and 2 sets of clothes each... 1 set for work in the city, 1 bigger set for getting dirty on the farm... tiny closets... That's just the way it is!