Deciding which farm, keeping DW happy

Homesteader · #**121** 09/11/14, 11:12 AM

You had better get an offer in fast, what a place!

AmericanStand · #**122** 09/12/14, 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deke01

the benefit of the high fence is that there is not a constant pressure of coyotes, deer/tick/lyme, and wild hog and the diseases they carry. On current farm, those are all a continuing problem.

The high fence is about 30+k ft as i measure it on goggle earth. At ?$18? A foot, that's about $180k. That's not the sort of cash i have to spend on fencing.

and worth 10 times that!

Better yet its already there so you wont offend the locals!

DEKE01 · #**123** 09/12/14, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmericanStand

and worth 10 times that!

Better yet its already there so you wont offend the locals!

You know what, I'm surprised no one called me out of that. I made a mental math error and reading my quote in your post it jumped out at me.

30,000 ft at $18/ft = $540,000

WOW! I was way off.

DEKE01 · #**124** 09/12/14, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmericanStand

I think you missed his point ,its not that every decision is the mans or even that it goes his way, it was simply that sometimes after all the meetings and with both people feeling just as strongly in different directions a choice has to be made.

How do you handle that situation?

IMO, how married couples resolve firmly held disparate and opposing positions will vary for each couple and even for each decision. Sometimes I tell DW I disagree, but defer to her superior knowledge in a particular situation. When we moved to the DC Burbs, she went kicking and screaming, but I had to pay the bills while she became a full time mom.

But JoePa made it clear, he believes the fact that he has hangy down parts between his legs gives him final say when it comes to contentious issues. Sounds like a bizarre basis of decision making to me. If anything, my hangy down parts have caused me to make a few really bad decisions.

am1too · #**125** 09/12/14, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DEKE01

The no beady eyes was in response to someone's question about all the stuffed heads hanging on the great room walls. There are nearly 20 of them, elk, white tails, mule deer, and others. Plus the hearth has a bobcat stalking you while reading the morning paper and a turkey is flying over the stairs.

I appreciate your comments about the fencing and I have not lost perspective. I know it is not the equivalent of a moat and castle walls, it is simply a good fence that is much better than the one I've been putting up on current farm.

BTW - the green stone columns are not green. It is just a bad photo.

Those beady eyes certainly won't bother a fence.

Hope you make the right decision for you. Yes I understand the cost of construction. Don't forget you'll be the one doing the repairing. Yes I'd be in love too.

am1too · #**126** 09/12/14, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmericanStand

I think you missed his point ,its not that every decision is the mans or even that it goes his way, it was simply that sometimes after all the meetings and with both people feeling just as strongly in different directions a choice has to be made.

How do you handle that situation?

Make a decision favoring the wife.

am1too · #**127** 09/12/14, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DEKE01

The point was I had upset the apple cart and was looking for advice on how best to right it. I was frustrated and vented. Things are progressing nicely now.

As I have come to expect from HT, when I asked for help I got some really bad advice, I was scolded (there are a few HTers who would scold Mother Theresa for not feeding more starving people, but I've come to accept that), and quite a lot of folks had plenty of good advice. I took the good advice and DW and I are now on the same page.

Fantastic! Are you getting the new place?

DEKE01 · #**128** 09/12/14, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by am1too

Fantastic! Are you getting the new place?

we are going to look at it together in one week.

handymama · #**129** 09/12/14, 04:02 PM

The suspense is killing us all here!

unregistered353870 · #**130** 09/12/14, 04:36 PM

I'm waiting for my invitation to the housewarming party...I guess it's a little early for that.

DEKE01 · #**131** 09/12/14, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtbrandt

I'm waiting for my invitation to the housewarming party...I guess it's a little early for that.

It's a long drive from MT. But you bring me a couple of cattle and I'll give you a snow free place to hang out in February.

Miss Kay · #**132** 09/12/14, 07:21 PM

Can you believe this thread is still going! I think you should win the prize for the longest and most entertaining thread.

PS - if they leave the stuffed heads there, you could always donate them to a local nature center or some place that would put them on public display.

handymama · #**133** 09/12/14, 07:23 PM

Ugh, longest prolly goes to the vaccine thread (shudder)

RebelDigger · #**134** 09/12/14, 07:58 PM

I usually try to take lemons and make lemondade. BUT, 17 years ago, Dh and I bought my (and I thought his) dream house, an 1891 Queen Anne Victorian. I loved that house, worked on it by myself every day while Dh worked at his day job. 5 years ago, he up and announced we were selling it and moved us to this current place. While I like the house OK, (originally a 19th century dog trot) I almost divorced him over "taking" my beautiful Victorian away from me and moving me out here too close (IMO) to his family in an area where I knew no one except them (and I really don't care for them at all, another storey). It caused a LOT of resentment on my part and while I have attempted to make the best of things, quite frankly, if I were ever to become widowed, well I would stop in the driveway on the way home from the funeral and pound a For Sale sign in front of it, sell it cheap and go somewhere I actually like and want to live. I have said all this to say, please, please, listen to your wife's concerns and if she is hesitant or unsure about it, might be good to forgoe the "new" place. I have learned from hard, bitter experience that both partners need to be excited for a place for them both to be happy. If you are meeting that much resisitance already, it is not a good sign.

Horseyrider · #**135** 09/12/14, 08:28 PM

I'm really late coming to this thread, but Deke01, your wife is blessed to have you in her life. Your concern for her happiness and desire for fairness shines through in every post you make. You're clearly a secure man with high principles, and the people in your everyday life are very fortunate to have you there.

DEKE01 · #**136** 09/12/14, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Kay

Can you believe this thread is still going! I think you should win the prize for the longest and most entertaining thread.

PS - if they leave the stuffed heads there, you could always donate them to a local nature center or some place that would put them on public display.

You and DW had the same idea. She worked in a nature center in an Ohio state park many years ago. It would be a crime for the craftsmanship to go to waste, so if they end up ours, they will definitely go to some good use.

DEKE01 · #**137** 09/12/14, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by handymama

Ugh, longest prolly goes to the vaccine thread (shudder)

Ummm...err...we want a big house in order to set up a vaccination clinic. Yeah...that's it...a vaccination clinic.

Vosey · #**138** 09/12/14, 10:39 PM

DH and I are making a cross country move in June to be closer to family and take care of elderly parents. DEKE01, you have made me realize how bossy I can be and how I will push for what I want in a house. We are already looking online at properties and disagreeing on what's important. Your thread has opened my eyes and our next home and hopefully homestead purchase is going to be much more diplomatically and equally decided!!!

flowergurl · #**139** 09/13/14, 07:27 AM

Quote:

I almost divorced him over "taking" my beautiful Victorian away from me and moving me out here too close (IMO) to his family in an area where I knew no one except them (and I really don't care for them at all, another storey)

I would have refused to sign any papers or move out of the Victorian. You can go if you want, but I am staying here.

Micknleb · #**140** 09/13/14, 04:25 PM

The thing you can't change about any property is location, and if the new farm seems too isolated now, that won't change.