Unsupportive spouse...

Molly Mckee · #**101** 05/18/14, 03:27 PM

Places that have night shift usually have days and pm's, it may take awhile to get on a different shift but at least they would be working on it.

grandma12703 · #**102** 05/19/14, 11:41 AM

Lost of times that night shift gets paid a little more money.

Molly Mckee · #**103** 05/19/14, 11:56 AM

Not enough to make up for a divorce, or the damage to the kids.

unregistered358967 · #**104** 05/19/14, 12:15 PM

I've found if I want something done (after waiting, gentle reminding) I have to say the magic words-

"Honey, do you mind if I call a fix-it guy to get xx done?"

Miraculously it gets installed/fixed. Ta-da.

wr · #**105** 05/19/14, 01:52 PM

I don't think anyone says shift work is easy but neither is being a full time mom, minding a garden, 5 horses, 29 acres, yard and home 365 days a year with no days off.

I'm sure the OP could live with dirty clothes left in the living room a lot better if he'd simply help out with the two little things she's asking for. The trash can be taken out when he leaves for work and it's less dangerous for the children if the lawn gets mowed if dad would watch the kids or mow the grass.

Nobody likes to think of worst case scenarios but what will this man do if mom was injured or became sick in such a way that she could not function as mom and hired man? He would have no choice but to either scale back or become a lot more involved at home.

grandma12703 · #**106** 05/19/14, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Molly Mckee

Not enough to make up for a divorce, or the damage to the kids.

I don't know that we really know enough about this situation to make that kind of judgement call. My DH traveled until the kids were well into grade school but on the weekends he played with them a lot.

She needs help absolutely but divorce was not mentioned that I recall. I am sure my DH rants about me sometimes but doesn't mean he wants a divorce. As a matter of fact this weekend he called me a slave driver. I simply replied...we have stuff to get done lets get to it.

Lots of folks work night shifts their entire lives and have families.

am1too · #**107** 05/20/14, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willow_girl

A postscript: Right after I posted the above last night, DBF came out of the bathroom and remarked that he'd had to clean out the drain because it was stopped up again. I have a bad habit of trimming my hair over the sink and then rinsing it down the drain ... oops.

He made a little joke of it, claiming we must have a long-haired dog somewhere in the house who was responsible, and going around calling, "Lassie? Lassie?"

I can only imagine how humiliating it would have been if he had given me a lecture instead.

Sometimes a little grace in a marriage is a good thing!

That's a good attitude about it.

am1too · #**108** 05/20/14, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by grandma12703

I don't know that we really know enough about this situation to make that kind of judgement call. My DH traveled until the kids were well into grade school but on the weekends he played with them a lot.

She needs help absolutely but divorce was not mentioned that I recall. I am sure my DH rants about me sometimes but doesn't mean he wants a divorce. As a matter of fact this weekend he called me a slave driver. I simply replied...we have stuff to get done lets get to it.

Lots of folks work night shifts their entire lives and have families.

With the constraints I read about I simply can't believe there is time to enjoy the horses. I can't understand why they even have them. They seem to be nothing more than a drain of energy and money.

goatlady · #**109** 05/20/14, 07:24 PM

Betcha HE rides and she watches the kids! I fail to see ANY togetherness in the OP at all either at chores or fun time.