Kids at Funeral

Tricky Grama · #41 02/22/13, 05:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 6e

We lost our infant daughter 4 years ago. All of our children were there when she died and there at the funeral and there when she was buried and they were 3, 5, 10 and 12 at the time that it happened. They were all well behaved and came to understand. Unfortunately, death is a very certain part of life. But I agree that no one can say why the parents said what they said and it is their decision to make.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Patty

SeaGoat · #42 02/22/13, 09:13 AM

When my mother died my boys were 3 years old and 11 months old.
I decided to not bring them to the funeral as it would serve as a distraction to me.

If she had died today I would bring my 7 year old (and only because it was his grandmother), but not my 5 year old. Only because my 5 year old is wild at heart. ...its not that he is misbehaved, just a restless kid.
Sometimes funerals can drag out for a very long time and even the most well behaved kid can become restless. It would be distracting to the speaker and the people around if they needed to get up and go to the bathroom, or started asking a million questions (yeah, thats my kid, the question asker)

I think that the closer family members who had younger children (say cousins for example) would be allowed, but for a news paper obituary, maybe they didnt want everybody and their brother to bring the kids

SteveD(TX) · #43 02/22/13, 09:41 AM

Some people for some reason, believe that they and no one else are the ultimate judge when determining "right and wrong". And since they are so privileged because of their superiority, they should be able to impart their infallible will on others despite the wishes of those who really count. It's quite obvious that most people here do not agree.

mrsgcpete · #44 02/22/13, 02:26 PM

I cant imagine having to deal with small children at the funeral of a baby...after we lost our daughter I avoided small children except my own for months it was just too hard....despite how you feel if you are notimmediate family to the deceased you abdicate to their wishes
..you never know what else might be going on.

mnn2501 · #45 02/22/13, 05:31 PM

Whomever is paying for the funeral gets to decide who is allowed to come. Period.

If you don't like their choices then you pay for the funeral.

Wendy · #46 02/22/13, 11:06 PM

Totally up to the parents.
I can tolerate toddlers & crying babies better than I can adults & teenagers that insist on being on their phones while standing in the funeral line. That is the ultimate rude behavior. At my aunt's funeral several weeks ago there were so many people texting while standing in line. That to me is very disrespectful.

Tricky Grama · #47 02/23/13, 06:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pheasantplucker

My ex-wife and I lost a newborn. She would be 27 now. My ex was from a huge family, and there were plenty of folks young and old at my daughter's funeral. We never thought of requesting that folks keep their little ones away, but I can respect that anyone going through that has the right to request whatever they are comfortable with, for whatever reason.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Patty

fantasymaker · #48 02/23/13, 10:37 AM

I think since its their event, they bought it and paid for it ,YOU should obey their wishes or go to jail.

Riverdale · #49 02/23/13, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Classof66

I saw an interesting obituary this morning. It was for a baby that passed shortly after birth. It was beautifully written and I feel very sad for the family. In the details of the service, they are having a funeral and have asked that no children under 10 attend.

I read a lot of obituaries, and I have never seen this request before. Personally, I think it is a good idea, and if i had young children and was attending this funeral, I would probably not bring them, unless it was someone very close to them, like a grandparent. We are supposed to be getting bad weather and the baby will be buried in a little remote country cemetery, which is probably going to be difficult also. My heart goes out to the family.

What do you think?

Respect the wishes of the parents, who lost the child.

It is their time to heal, not yours to preach

meanwhile · #50 02/24/13, 12:51 PM

Death and how it is handled is, from my view, very personal. I would respect the wishes of the family. If I could not find child-care, then I would not go and would just send a dish, card or flowers. Then, later find time for a visit.