really stupid accident
 

i did the dumbest thing yesterday and it hurts and i cant sleep because i keep re-playing it over and over so i hope if i post this i can get my mind to settle down.

i have feed conveyor. part of it quit working. the bottom pulley was spinng, but the belt was just sliding over the top one. i gave the belt a tug...the belt took off and pulled my hand right through the pulley. i looked at my hand and saw it was mangled. i have low blood pressure and i know i shock out easily, dso i didn't look again. i started to call my husband, then thought i would just drive to the hospital, since i was still screaming, i changed my mind and called him. he said he was on his way.

i thought i ought to get to the house. i don't live there but i thought the tenant might help, i couldn't turn my truck on so i walked up the lane. i felt the end of my finger fall off during the walk, but i didnt look because i was afraid and alone.

i got to the house and no one was home. i sat on his porch chair to wait for my husband. a few minutes later a friend of my tenant, who happrens to bea cop showed up. i've never been so happy to see any one in my life. he wrapped my hand up and made sure dh was on his way. he had called 911 though at the time i thought that wasnt necessary.

they all showed up and put me the ambulkance. my blood pressure was 80/40 and they didn't like that. they put 2 iv's in and took me to the hospital. my bp went right back up, but they said it was good that they were called.

i had to get transferred to terre haute and they did surgery to fix what they could. no one could find the end of my finger and i think either the pigs or the chickens ate it.

this hurts really bad,even with lots of vicodin and i'm tired but cant stop crying and cant sleep. all i can think is how stupid i was to do this. it was just dumb not thinking and now i hurt and my hand is screwed up and i want my finger back! stupid stupid stupid.

i knowq i'm lucky and it could have been much worse. i know i was stupid but i just want to quit seeing my hand go through that pulley in my mind. i hope this helps me sleep.

thanks for listening and be careful.

jena

Im so sorry about your hand,and I feel you pain. I hope you get back to your old self soon. People make mistakes, That is part of life. I would just get yourself healthy again and try not to fret over it. There is nothing you can do about it now so try to relax and get some rest. The more you worry the longer healing takes. I wish there was something I could do for you.

Get better soon

JAKE

I am sorry to hear this Jena, and I hope your hand stops hurting and heals soon! Accidents happen, and it's so easy to do on a farm. Like me you've probably cut a few corners to speed things up, that hardly makes you stupid. That it happened to you proves it can happen to anyone. Thank you for the post, they do help remind us to be careful.

Jena, I'm so sorry to hear about your accident, but I'm glad that you are reaching out to tell others about it. That's one way to get it to quit playing in your head. Believe me, you are not the first nor will you be the last to have an accident because of not thinking first. Your cautionary tale may save someone else from such a horrible accident. Thank you for sharing it.

I lost half of one of my fingers when I was a teenager. I know how you feel about wanting it back. You will adapt. It just takes time. Please, contact me if you need to vent some more. Meanwhile I suggest that you pray, cry and pamper yourself as much as possible. May I offer a verbal hug and a prayer for you? Consider it done.

Sincerely, TXjudi

Oh, Jena, how awful for you. Thankfully you weren't injured worse. It does sound bad and very painful. You know, all of us have done things with power equipment, at home and at work, that we shouldn't and sometimes we know we shouldn't. Let yourself off the hook, honey, and concentrate on healing. Also, the pain medicine may be affecting your thinking right now, so the sooner your'e off it, the better. Know that we are thinking of you, and taking a lesson from your malady. Thanks for posting and giving others a wake-up. Let us know your progress. Heal well and fast...................Margo

Jena, we've all made stupid mistakes, sometimes we get away with it and sometimes we don't. I mangled my hand years ago when a large firecracker went off prematurely in my hand. I also came close to being pulled into the PTO on the tractor when my shirt-tail got caught, the shirt tore or I would have and I turned an 8N tractor over backwards (don't ask me how I got off, don't know). I am really safety consious now, experience is a great teacher.

...............Praying for your fast recovery Jena. The pain will subside but you have to concentrate on your projects that need your mental acuity to succeed. Reliving the events is like having a case of Hiccups, you just have to focus and break the mental cycle and get your thoughts moving forward in a LINEAR fashion.......fordy... :)

Oh Jena! I'm so sorry to hear of your accident. And I'm just like you... I go over and over and over things I've done that I feel I knew better than to do and can't believe I did that... until I wear myself out. Usually, I have to think of the worst possible scenario... like... I could have run my wrist through there and had nothing to talk about here or beat myself up over ever again... Then I get thankful that I escaped that and move on a little...

Every day is one day closer to your hand being healed... Be careful, don't rush it, listen to the doctor's advice on what you should and shouldn't do until you recover (or you'll have another thing to beat yourself up over ;) )

And forgive yourself... and know you have the well wishes and prayers of many of your HT acquaintances. You poor little sweetie!

That's why they are called accidents, and not plans. Good luck. You should see a hand specialist. They might be a plastic surgeon, general surgeon or orthopedic surgeon. It is a fellowship additional training after the first residency.Terre Haute is probably big enough to have one. The hand has many compartments inwhich you can get an infection, and then the pressure builds up inside the compartment and then compresses the artery, cuts off the blood supply, then the nerve dies, and you can end up with a hand like Bob Dole. It doesn't happen a lot, but needs to be watched for. If the injury is limited to the figers, it is a lot less likely.

Accident
 

I try to live by the motto that "everything happens for a reason". While something like this accident doesn't make any sense to you now (and maybe it won't ever), there is a reason for it in the grand scheme of life. It is done and over with, you can't change the past, so don't dwell on it. You can only change the present & future by not being more careful. Life is a learning experience.

Thankfully you weren't hurt worse. Be glad things weren't worse, and take care to heal. Prayers are heading your way.

Jena, I know you are a person that can handle adversity and that you will come through this just fine. It may be hard to believe when it hurts like blazes and each time your heart beats there is the reminding pain that surges through the hand and fingers. Just keep the hand elevated and try to get your spirts up there also. We humans are most adaptable and can adjust. This is being typed by a person with five fingers on one hand and two useable on the other. When my acccident happened, I too got depressed but now as I recall what took place it is just an annoyance that I have come to live with. Many have had accidents that they were not able to recover from; fortunately for us, ours are surmountable and we just have lasting reminders of how lucky were are. Get well soon, there is work to do!

Jenna,

Your in our thoughts and prayers honey. That must have been awfull. And all alone too! I'm glad the cop showed up.

So, what did they say after surgery? When do you go back? Are they going to set you up with physical therapy?

The above poster isn't trying to frighten you but he's right you need to see a hand specialist.

Any chance Hubby could go get you a little kitten from the pound? "Saving" some helpless little creature might help to push out all that mental anguish and replace it with the warm fuzzy feelings that will help you to heal more quickly.

Let us know your progress,

Pigeon Lady

I'm so sorry to hear of your accident. And I know exactly what you mean by running it over-and-over through your mind - I would do the same thing.

I can't add any advice other than what's already given but I hope you heal quickly and feel better soon.

jenna... thank goodness that your injuries were not worse. They could have been! You need to heal up, & go on. I hope that your expierence helps others to recognise the dangers of power tools & MACHINERY! TAKE Care & heal up!

Jena,
firstly, I'm so glad you are ok, it could have been much worse, I know you know that also. I've read many of your replies on the cattle forum and think of you as one smart helpful lady. I'm thinking the reason you can't get this out of your head is that you have that feeling of "I know better than to have done that", we all lose concentration at times, it was a bad accident that you feel you could have prevented, (well that's my Dr Phil take on it anyway LOL).
I hope you heal fast, and that you are not to hard on yourself, it gives us all a wake up call when things like this happen, farming and animals can be so very dangerous.

Carol K

Jena...Thank you for posting. Hubby and I have been going 24/7 this spring. I have a feeling in my heart that your post was a awake-up call for us. Bless you and be good to yourself, Thank You...Joan

Hi Jena,

This is my first post here, but I've read this forum daily for a long time and your posts are always so helpful - so thanks for that. I'm so sorry about your accident... I'm sure its rough on a lot of different levels.

My "real" job (aside from the farm) is working with trauma survivors. Replaying the incident over and over is a way that some of us (especially women) come to terms with a traumatic event. I think its nature's way of teaching us. Needless to say you'll never make the same mistake again, and your accident is something we all learn from.

I think it could have happened to any of us, especially at this time of year when its so busy and we're apt to be somewhat sleep deprived. Me: I'm hobbling around with five broken bones in my foot because I was in a hurry to move my steers a couple of weeks ago wearing garden clogs... In the future I will always take the time to put on my steel-toes (when they will fit on my foot again).

I hope you will continue to process the event here or elsewhere when you feel down in the dumps. I wish I lived close to you so I could help out...

Take care,
Cyndy

Jena, I am sorry to hear about your accident and I wish you a speedy recovery. I,too, have followed your posts and have found you to be full of knowledge, wisdom and strength. I have admired how you work so hard farming with such determination and will. I often thought of how I wished I had just a little of your drive.

Rest, rest, and rest some more. Healing takes time, but with your stamina I am sure you will overcome this.

Wish I was closer to help you out in your time of need...Laurie

I am so sorry. Be good to yourself. This is about forgiving yourself now. Tell yourself you will replay the scene once more for the next 5 minutes and then try to move onto something else. It often helps to talk to someone about it over and over until you can work it out of your system. Let yourself grieve.

Is anything distracting for you? Old sitcom reruns, movies, books, radio? Read something that will remind you of all you have and let you forgive yourself.

Try Elizabeth Berg's novels or even Rosamund Pilcher. They are also available on cassette. Anything not having to do with homesteading to give yourself a break. Sleep when you can, even if it is during the day. Let yourself be cared for, you deserve it. Remember to eat.

Sending you some healing thoughts.....

jena,

I'm so sorry to hear about your accident. it sounds like to me your reaction is perfectly normal ! I mean, you just lost a body part, and a darned useful one at that.

Best wishes and hoping it heals quickly,

Mel-

Jena scared the something out of you didn't it!! Girl your not the first one to ever do that and probably won't be the last.

Just thank the Lord for looking over you,it could have been so much worse.I'm sorry and will be Praying that you heal fast.

Oh Yea.BE CAREFUL !!!

big rockpile

Saying a prayer for you.. Hope you will heal (mentally and phyiscally) soon..

Good luck, I will keep U in my prayers. I lost my right foot as a child, there are challenges ahead but I'll bet your a survivor. Keep your chin up and look ahead you can't change yesterday.

Hope you get to feeling better soon, and look at it this way, its one less nail to have to file :rolleyes:.

Jena, I am so sorry to hear about your accident...I wish you luck and a speedy recovery.

Belinda

Jena,

Sorry to hear about your accident. I'm just thankful it wasn't worse. Get well soon.

Mike

What a lucky thing your friend showed when he did! You make so many good points,and using 911 when you need it is a lesson for us all to remember.Thank You.Hope you are better just as soon as possible.
BooBoo

I too am sorry for your pain - emotional and physical. Give yourself a break and realize that stuff happens - that is why they are called accidents. We have all done this type thing. Some of us have been caught worse than others. Those are those wonderful things my DH refers to as brain cramps (or if they are really bad - my blond moments!). The one thing I have learned is that things happen for a reason - and the things that happen to us are what makes us who we are. Relax and let your body heal. Laurie

Best Wishes
 

I fall into the group of long time readers of yours, who never took the time to register. I thought it somewhat important to know that you have many supporters....your accident moved me to register and wish you the best...I feel like the rest...your spirit and determination will prevail.

I hope all goes well as i beleive you are a great source of information. and a fine lady, that said . i done one better worse than that when i was about 10 yrs old .I ran thru a plate glass door. and almost bled to death, take care and let some one else help out a little.

Jena,

So very sorry to hear about your accident. Our thoughts and prayers from across the state are with you. Don't beat yourself up over it. These things happen. Twenty years ago, an old woodworker showed me his missing left index finger. Since then I've been very aware around power machinery. Notice I said aware and not careful? These things happen so damned quickly. Maybe you showing your missing finger to some young'en might make them more aware and could save their life. You know you can lose more than a finger or hand around power equipment. I have a deceased cousin who got pulled into a huge metal lathe. Killed him instantly.

I've been building our new homestead this spring and I've had more close calls than I care to count or remember. Things like smacking my shin fullforce with a 10 pound sledge, almost getting backed over by a loaded cement truck, tripping and nearly falling on some stakes embedded in the ground, and on and on and on. I'll consider myself lucky if I live through this initial year.

Thinking of you from West Central Illinois.

I am so sorry to hear about your accident, and really sympathize with your pain and distress. In my experience ( I have had more than my share of physical and emotional trauma), it's a good idea to tell anybody who will listen about what happened to you (in person or on the phone) once you feel able..............it seems like each time you tell the story, the memories lose a little of their ability to cause you more pain and distress. Over time, and with repeated telling, it becomes just another memory that doesn't upset you so much. In the meantime, be sure to get the crying out........that really helps too. And TAKE THOSE PAIN MEDS.

"reallly stupid accidents" are the only kind of accidents they make.

A finger is a useful tool, you still have nine to serve you with minimal complaining. More wonderful are the two hands you have. They hold things like flowers, they make things like cookies, they brush hair or tears with equal deftness. What makes your hands so much greater are the two arms they are attached to, for they enable you to reach out to others and give hugs in times of joy and saddness. And better than this is the body these arms are attached to, for they enable you to be hugged. And of course your feet and legs that take you down the country road, or along the beach, or into the home of a lonely person are beyond value. And finally the greatest and most wonderful of all is your heart, mind and spirit, for they above all determine who you are and what you accomplish and why the world is a better place because you are here.

thank you everyone for your kind thoughts and words. i'm very touched by it all.

posting this did help me to settle down and i have pretty much slept all day/night...is it day or night? lol.

my mom is a psychologist and she toldme to talk about it as much as i can to feel better in my mind. she's had my sis call me, my aunt, all my girlfriends. she is going to come out here on wednesday for a couple days which will be very nice.

the painis better...at least manageable now....still lots of vicodin.

my doc is a hand specialist and get this....he has been going to indy to buy pasture raised chicken and meats. looks like i'll have a new customer! never pass up an opportunity to sell....even if you just got done saying some choice words while they injected the local anaethestic!

thanks again...i'm going back to bed.

jena

Jena,
I read this last night when I got in but didn't have the proper time to reply. I've been thinking about it, needless to say, all night long. Michael W. Smith posted "everything happens for a reason." That is what I've been thinking. Through your posts you've sounded like a level-headed person and reading this, my heart goes out to you but you don't sound any different. Things happen. One must find the inner strength to cope and meet with new challenges and see them without bitterness. You will be in my prayers. I'm very glad to hear about your new customer ::)

Jena,
Best wishes for a speedy recovery.
On the positive side, thank goodness you are still able to type! It must have been a challenge considering your injury.
Gary

I can think of something for you to be thankful for.

Be thankful that when you made that mistake, it wasn't someone else's hand that went through that pulley.
I think if it had been your child's hand or your neighbors hand or your DH"s hand.....it would be even more difficult to deal with.

I made an error 30 years ago that involved my son's hand (at age 4) and it still makes me cry when I think of it........... even tho his finger was totally restored.

My prayers are for your quick recovery.

Stupid Machine
 

Honey, this too shall pass. When you get to heaven you'll be perfect again, so it's just a matter of time. Plus, this will make me stop and think more carefully when we have to do things. I now won't attempt something complicated if I'm tired or not up to par. Thank you for that...I just wish I could make it all better for you. We're here for you, so do all the venting you need to do.

Jena, I'm so very sorry to hear about your accident. I can't even begin to imagine the shock and pain that followed, not to mention having to cope with the loss of a much-used finger! As remarkably adaptable as us humans are (especially us wily homesteading types! ;) ) I can definitely see you up and at it again with 9 extra-dexterous fingers!

I'm so happy to hear that you have a good support system around you. The nice thing about this board is that you've probably found you have quite a few friends and folks who really respect and value you. The downside is that, as scattered as we are geographically, we all can't show up at your doorstep to take over the workload and offer a shoulder to cry on while you heal.

I'm really happy that you took the time and effort to post about it - both for helping you relieve some of the anxiety, and as a strong reminder for all of us out there of what can happen around all that machinery. When I stop and think about all of the potential accidents that can happen throughout the average "farm day", it's easy to see how something like this could happen. It can be difficult to remain vigilant about something that seems so mundane. There are a lot of us newbies here, and if they are at all like me, they will remember this for a very long time...who knows how many limbs and lives you've probably saved by sharing this with all of us!

I wish you complete healing, peace of mind, and freedom from pain (Oh yeah, and a doc that barters! :D ).

Sending "e-hugs" a 'plenty,
April

What a stupid idiotic thing for you to do! Have I got your attention yet? OK, what a stupid idiotic thing for you to do!

I got off a bit easier than you. I didn't need no stupid high-speed labour-saving machine. I just closed a door on my hand, real hard. Real, real hard. Stupid thing didn't have a good door handle, I wrapped my hand round the edge and pulled, it stuck on a concrete floor and then released - fast. I was pulling my hand out as it closed, and i wiped most of my finger-tip off on the dor frame.

Fortunately, a little bit stuck. I got to a doctor, he got the shakes while he was working on it under local anaesthetic, I ended up comforting him, but he managed. had to take out most of the bone in that first finger-tip length - down to the first joint, but enough remained to regrow, as did the finger tip. Like I said - lucky. I was about a tenth of an inch from losing that finger tip. If I'd been pulling my hand out harder, I would have - or maybe i'd have got clean away. Who can tell?

Anyway, it looks almost normal at first glance. It was my middle finger, so every so often I get the opportunity to give people the finger as I say "Look! Have I told you about my broken finger?" Honestly, people mostly don't notice. I've known people for months before I noticed they were missing a joint.