Question. Would you recommend living with someone

I do put canning and freezing along with housekeeping and cooking. I also ment that when it CAME TO canning, and freezing, and washing or drying the canNNG AND FREEZING UTENSELS, OR HAULING OUT BASKETS OF WET LAUNDRY OR HAULING OUT THE WASH WATER, AND A DOZ OTHER JOBS, THAT HE NEEDS TO BE AS HANDY TO HER aS SHE IS, STRETCHING FENCE, CLEANING OUT THE DAIRY BARN. Dang I hate this new keyboard. Working on a vehicle and needing another, smaller hand, and a doz other things outside the house, she needs to be as handy to him, as he to her, AND< They need to be happy to be working together. They each needs to know that the other has more knowledge about his/her problems, so that they can talk to another about them, knowing that the information they receive is knowledegable information. Information that can be used, cause it has wisdom behind it.. They each need to know that the other has their back, and is happy to be there.

Being able to work together is a BIG thing....and is something that is difficult to come by.

The only SO that I could work WELL with had absolutely NO interesting in homesteading whatsoever. Which was sad, because we worked liked a finely tuned and oiled *machine* together.

~sighs~

Now, I am content if DH and I don't kill each other. He tends to be overly critical, and I tend to be overly sensitive...NOT a good working scenario. Then he wonders why I never ask for his help. I just smile and shrug. Not going to tell him, "Because when you spend 10 minutes yelling at me for "not doing it right" due to our 60 year old tractor with the leaky seals dropping the boom 2 inches lower than I intended, it tends to make me spend the evening in the shower bawling my eyes out...which is unhealthy for me. I therefore prefer that if I am doing something that you *leave me alone* to do it."

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Peace,
Caliann

"First, Show me in the Bible where it says you can save someone's soul by annoying the hell out of them." -- Chuck

My Mom has always dreamed of HT, Dad wasnt into it. They divorced. Stepfather, same deal, but they are still married and she's trying to HT in the city.
When I was 20 I broke off wiht my highschool sweatheart for this reason. It was very hard to do, but was about the only thing I couldnt compromise on - homesteading was my lifelong dream. We had started saving for a home when we had 'the talk' and I realised he was never going to want to leave the city. Broke up (painful), split the savings account and went our separate ways.
13 years later I have no regrets. I'm married to a man who loves our homestead and living rurally. He doesnt get excited about permaculture or farm animals particularly, but he takes a lot of satisfaction in the work and turns his hand to fencing and building as needed. Sure, he doesn't quilt or do the canning, but he carries a lot of the load around here. My ex would never, IF he was the one here instead of DH, I would have become a terrible nag and always worried he'd leave me. I think we all deserve someone who shares our values.

When the going gets tough, as it inevitably does when you are trying to live off the land, you need to be able to count on that person to stand by you and do what it takes to hold onto your dream. I beleive it's worth the pain to cut ties and keep looking for that.

This website has a singles forum....

I don't need a roommate to have the same passions that I do, although having lived with several people who do not share the same passions as me, I can tell you that sometimes I wished there was someone in my own house to talk to about the things I geek out on. In the end, I am happy that my roommates are pretty easy to live with, and pay their half of the bills on time.

Romantically though? No, I'd never have any interest in living with someone who had zero interest in the homesteading lifestyle. Had things gone to fantastical plan, I'd be living right now with a man who did not share my insane passion for animals, but who was heavily into the alternative energy aspect of things... Solar power and all that. And I realized that I don't NEED someone else who is into the exact same things as me. It's enough to have someone who supports me because he enjoys seeing me excited, or happy. In fact, I just might LIKE having someone who wasn't totally into everything that I'm into, because it would give me the breathing room to be able to do whatever I want regarding the animals... It would also be beneficial to have someone around who was really into things that I'm not incredibly into myself, such as alternative energy, or intensive gardening. That way all the aspects of homesteading could be getting covered, and I wouldn't have to bother with the things that I'm not passionate about, or feel stretched thin.

Even though things didn't work out, and I'm not with him, I still think the same way. It's good to have things in common, but also good to have separate interests that benefit the homestead as a whole as well. Gives me my space and allows me to do what I want, and offers the same to him, but allows us to come together on things we have in common, and also to help each other when we need help on our own projects, or would just like each other's company.

I can't even imagine living a life on the farm with a man who only wanted to play video games all day, or whose idea of a good time was discussing stocks and bonds. Ugh. I don't require my man to be a straw-chewin' back-to-the-lander. But even if we don't have a TON of things in common, he at least has to support me in what I do. Not because it's what he loves, but because he loves ME and wants to see me happy. I would offer him the same.

I could live with someone not into prepping, survival, gardening, farming, etc. but they would have to be excellent contributors to the household in other ways. My fiancee is fortunately in sync with me on the matter, though her mobility is somewhat limited, i think as we get to a better place to garden and such she will be able to take time canning, tending to the garden and animals, etc. which will probably help her in the long run.

I wish you luck in finding a roommate/SO/etc.

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I'm just standing up for my rights as a consumer.

Caliann. Too bad your hubby couldnt read your post. U might put it on, one nice day, and tell him to read it, and go outside and do something.

Right now I am out of wives.
Still looking for the sexy one that can cook and will clean.

FarmboyBill, my DH has an account here. His nick is "edgefarmer". So if ya'll see me complaining about him, realize that I am not doing it behind his back. LOL I am WAY about communication...I just don't do it in the heat of the moment when I am upset. I figure if I wait 24 hours, and the incident is still bugging me, then I need to say something about it.

DH knows his issues, and I know mine. Last week, he said, "I need to clear the air. You have that "I'm being overly critical and you can't do anything right" face on... which is normally completely valid. THIS time, however, it isn't you I am critical of, but the situation in which you have no power to change."

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Peace,
Caliann

"First, Show me in the Bible where it says you can save someone's soul by annoying the hell out of them." -- Chuck