I will not do my normal reply individually because today whupped me and I still have some sewing and laundry to do. But I want to thank everyone for their thoughts, prayers, advice and posts. Whether or not you believe it, we are working very hard. I will continue to check the posts, if there are any, and I will work hard at making changes, my own, and with my husband. We constantly solicit the advice of those more experienced, something I wish I would have done more in my younger years.

I recognize the value in everything said here and trust me, have felt a little more hopeful after many of the suggestions that somehow seem more sane coming from others. Everything sounds crazy to me when I say it! But I am confident that were are on the right path even if we hit bumps. Sure cows and pigs are out for now and we have decided that we should maybe look to buy our own land/house.

quietintheland, pattycake, countryfied2011, irondale, and whomever else I forgot, thanks for the advice and kind thoughts! Hope everyone has a great evening!

I hope you sleep well dear girl. You have the weight of the world on your shoulders and I wish you could lean on me. I have been in your shoes and know full well how those young years are the best and the worst. I remember wanting to take my kids to McDonalds and the money wasn't there. You are not asking for too much, just a way to make it work. I promise it will all work out okay.

Ditto what Pattycake said....get a good nights rest, everything always looks brighter in the am.

When I was a single poor college student on disability and sick of eating fish every day (went fishing for my food), apparently I qualified for Food Stamps at $200 a month. I feasted like a king on it.

Get DH snipped when you can afford it. Cheapest birth control ever. With that being said, I need to get myself snipped.

As for career advancements, I went to school for 2 years. Got a certificate and ended up making more per hour than employees at my work place who have worked there for years and years simply because I had 1 year of experience AND the paper to back me up. Being a parent, you'll automatically get Pell Grant pretty much. I also changed jobs because my previous job underpaid me by several dollars an hour plus they offered crappy benefits. Have DH start considering looking for a different company to work for or see if other companies will consider paying him more.

As for tax...well, we have two kids and we end up getting back $3k per kid! I don't know if we will get that back for next year with the new tax stuff but I doubt it will change because only thing missing from my paycheck is a few more dollars that are going towards SS. I think you need help doing your tax work. There are some places that offer free tax help for people under a certain income bracket. Worth checking it out.

You have certainly gotten some good advice here. The last post Re getting tax advice is really something you need to do - something isnt adding up with the number of deductions you have your take home should be a lot higher.

I think one concencus the group has offered is that the car payment has to go. It is hard to let something you have already pored hard earned money into go,. But its the one thing that is a absolute for you guys to make it. The key for you guys is to make the hard decisions now before you fall to far down the rabbit hole. Because by then your choices become very limited and much more painful

Ive been in your shoes, it plain stinks. It consumes your entire day - when your not worrying about money the pale hangs over your heart. God did not mean for us to live that way. Paul gave some great advice - be in debt to no man except for the debt of love. When I was young and we made our mountain of financial mistakes their was no internet nobody there to cheer us on or give us advice. One thing I learned about being poor - I didnt like it! I dont make good money now but I have zero debt and that has made a big big difference in my outlook. I dont have that nagging worry following me around. I will be praying for you and your family.

There has been a lot of good advice presented, but I think the best advice I read was to focus on what you CAN do.

You CAN sign up for SNAP (foodstamps), WIC, LIHEAP, etc...
You CAN get H&R Block to look at your prior tax filings. (Something isn't right. People in similar circumstances get back thousands in refunds due to EIC)
You CAN do some minor things to improve energy usage like make draft dodgers for leaky doors and windows or add regular sheet plastic to windows to reduce your heating costs. (I buy sheet plastic for my quail cage for under $10 per roll.)

Your husband CAN (likely) get a free ride at a community college. If he opts for a degree in his field, he may be able to enroll in a school that grants college credits for lifetime experience in the field. That might reduce the length of time before he gets his degree.

You can check your credit reports annually and work to clean them up. You may not have to pay all of the debt that is there and may be able to make deals with the creditors, but you have to free up some money first to make the payments.

When it comes to the satellite tv, is there an alternative for the football games? I am married to a sports junkie and he is the main reason that we still have cable. I've been looking into dropping cable and replacing it with some of the alternatives. Netflix, Hulu, etc. I have found that there just aren't many options when it comes to the sports channels. Maybe your hubby could go to a friend's house to watch the games?

Before you had the children, what type of work did you do? Is it something that can translate into earning a paycheck from home? Do you have any special computer skills like doing computer graphics? Authors are always looking for someone to design bookcovers.

My concern for your family is that you are just one small disaster away from ruin. If your husband got sick, how would your family stay afloat?

curse pregnancy-induced insomnia! I got tired of cleaning, organizing to tire myself so here I am!

To address a few questions, since it is only fair:

Salary vs. gov't benefits - Those benefits are based on GROSS income not net. My DH makes too much for us to qualify now if we applied with 3 children, the $2000/month is NET. Not for WIC, but all the other programs are based on lower incomes. With 4 kids, we will be right at the line if we decide to apply. So I am not even sure it would work or if we would even get anything. We will see what happens!

Insurances/disasters - I should have been more clear - sorry! The $300/paycheck covers health, dental, vision, pharmacy, along with supplemental life and AD&D for DH, and small life ins on the kids to cover you know...and a small policy on me that is cheaper through his employer. His employer also provides their own life and AD&D and short and long term disability. We also do deduct a small amt each check that goes to a fixed asset retirement plan that his employer also contributes to. When I worked I had AFLAC and I keep meaning to look into the #s for DH as a just in case.

Credit - our credit reports are pretty clean. A few older medical bills that are very low, one canceled cell phone and something else, I can not remember...oh, one small CC that I forgot I had and they added $$ to so we want to pay those off, but I think total, we are under $3000.

Taxes - We have gotten large refunds for the past few years. The one year that we ended up owing just really scared us. We do claim exemptions, just not all of them. I spent 10 years as an Admin. Assistant and then as an Executive Admin Asst working exclusively with small businesses. I am certified in QuickBooks and while I have at times worked as an overseas liason as a portion of my job function - fun times - mostly I focused on payroll, bookeeping, management, client relations/CSV and general office functions. I do our taxes each year with Turbo Tax and have enjoyed using the service. We took more exemptions this year than we have in the past so we will see how that works out!

DH and school - we have been working on this for a long time. To make serious advancement beyond his current certifications, DH would have to commit to 120 credits. Even with compensation from his job and grants, we would not cover the total cost so for right now, he takes courses through the company's online learning website. They don't compensate for completion but he just told me that they just added the perk of one course completion will earn you an ipad mini so, there you go! Who needs a raise with perks like that!!

Working for me - I was actually let go from my job in 2010 where I worked from home. I moved on to bus driving and then, prior to the birth of #3, worked for an ex-employer pt. I had to stop when the kids and homeschool, along with breast feeding an infant and other responsibilities made it hard for me to fit going in to the office any other time than late at night...alone. It feels really weird for me not to have a job. I never went without work. Even when I was between jobs, I would work for temp agencies until something permanent popped up. Trust me, if I could avoid killing myself and work, I would!!

That being said....those are just answers to questions, not brick walls. DH and I talked tonight and I think we feel more confident than we have in a while and that is awesome! There are lots of ways to make changes, improvements, all that jazz and we are gonna do it!!

Baby is crying, gotta go get my little cuteness!

Not to beat a dead horse, I have to agree about getting rid of the satellite. If this is in no way an option then look into keeping the tv off as much as possible, or if a newer tv unplugged when not in use, as a new tv is usually using power even when off. I got rid of tv altogether a year ago(never had satellite), this has saved me in excess of 50 bucks a month.
As far as internet look into satellite internet. we just switched to it and due to some govt deal to bring internet to rural areas get it for 20 bucks off normal price, 40 a month instead of 60. just these two things saved me 70 a month, big difference when your counting pennies.
I'm in much the same situation as your family, used to be in concrete industry and made great money but we all know what happend to constuction with the economy the last several years. I now make half of what I did. It's hard but can be done.If you want it you have to be willing to make the sacrifices to make it happen, I wish you and your family the best.

*quote* "I am certified in QuickBooks and while I have at times worked as an overseas liason as a portion of my job function - fun times - mostly I focused on payroll, bookeeping, management, client relations/CSV and general office functions."

If this is what your background is, I am sure that there are small businesses in the area that are in need of bookkeeping services. I have been self employed for the last 4 years and trust me when I say there are tons of people who are willing to drop off their books / receipts / etc off at your house for you to go through in your "office". You would have to look at what the going rate is in your area - here I charge $40 - $70 / hour depending on the complexity of the work. I realize with 3 - 4 little ones running around it can be hard to find time to do anything - but even 2 clients at 2 hours each / month would give you extra money...

Just a side thought - I know you have indicated that getting rid of TV is not an option - but would there be a way to cut down the monthly amount and still allow DH his football? Some sort of a comprimise on that part from him...

Also, the other thing I haven't seen mentioned in the posts - phone / internet service...do you have just a house phone, or house phone and cel phones? Could you cut down your monthly bill - decreasing internet package...cutting phone options like caller ID / voicemail / etc...

I also agree with the person who mentioned the "plastic" storm windows - they save a lot in energy costs (and help keep the house more comfortable).

I was a single parent for quite a few years and there were many months where grocery money just wasn't there - we ate a lot of rice mixed with stewed tomato (the plain white cheap rice).

There have been a lot of very good ideas posted and although not all of them would seem to fit your situation at face value - a lot of them could have variations that may work well for your situation.

If you want to keep the tv, does your local internet provider offer a bundle? Our local one does, and we were able to get phone, internet, and tv for much less than we were paying individually - $89/month + taxes. After the first year it went up but I called and got it lowered. Right now they are offering a better deal - $79/month so I'm calling them again.
If that is not available, I would look into Hulu and Hulu Plus and the ESPN network online. You can hook up the computer to your tv and stream that way, or get a roku or something similar. Much cheaper than regular tv if you don't have a bundle available.
Even paying for something like Amazon prime would prob be cheaper than regular tv.
If it is mostly football he likes, and none of the above options will work, see if you can have tv for just the football months and drop it for the other times.
Regarding the wood and heat situation. If you have free firewood, I would take advantage of it. Keep your eyes open on Craigslist for a free or inexpensive woodstove. I often see them on our local Craigslist. See if you can barter for installation (i.e. free firewood if someone installs the woodstove) or ask your landlord if he will pay for installation if you leave the woodstove there when you leave. We save so much money when we run the stove, and I make sure that I keep the furnace set low - it makes me either run the woodstove or wear lots of sweaters.
If you get money back this year in taxes, which it sounds like you will, you have some options. Either pay off the car, if that's possible, or divide the amount you get back by 12 months. Set that aside for your budget needs every month. And/Or use some of it for a yearly meat purchase from a local butcher's shop, and buy some fruit trees or bushes, etc.

Medical: go to health fairs to get free tests; if you have a Mejer store they offer free prenatal vitamins and certain antibiotics free; lots of pharmacys offer gift cards with new or transferred scripts; PREVENT!
Food: maybe with tax refund you could get started with 6 hens and 1 roo- our chickens end up giving us meat & eggs for free I sell extra eggs, baby chicks and hens a few times a year we put eggs in to hatch keep some to butcher & sell the hens let them free range when I buy feed I always use a coupon ( purina sends out every 3-4 months) I sew feed bags into shopping bags to sell. Grow extra in the garden and kitchen scraps for them. Rabbits are cheap and easy we got 2 hutches with 3 cages each with feeders & waters for $80 and bought rabbits for $5-10 start with 2 does & 1 buck will get at least 10 - 16 babies every 3-4 months. With every 5 bunnies we butcher I get 7 qts of meat with the legs and back; grind belly meat &get 1# sausage; put all the ribs import with water,carrots, celery etc. end up with 10 pt. broth and 1# cooked meat. Again I use coupons to buy feed & with purina for every 15 proofs of purchase you get coupon for a free 50# bag.

I'll post more on my next break

Goodness with all those kids I'd be a basket case - lol..

But wanted to point out that you could be a virtual assistant. I did that for two years and made quite a good salary plus had benefits. Look at Craigslist, search for the term "virtual assistant". With a cert in Quickbooks, you should have no trouble finding something, even part time.

A lot of employers these days don't care if they ever see you in person as long as their appointments are scheduled, their flights booked and their documents are typed.

You might look into that part time to start until the kids get a little older. It does take a little digging to find those jobs but they are out there. I know you have a lot on your plate, but either the income goes up or the outgo goes down. Even if you made just a 100. per month more, that would help.

I also worked for Comcast as a phone tech for two years during my "I am going to pay the farm off early" phase. That was an "ok" job, nothing I would do for life, but the pay was good for the hours worked and they did pay for my training. I found that job online.

Personally I would figure out someway to ditch the satellite until you get past the winter. Maybe DH could go to a friends house and watch football if he had to. That is a large expense and one I did without for 7 years. My son and I decided to cut Direct TV off and we never looked back until after he graduated HS. We used the internet to watch movies and sports.

Just a thought, you can connect your internet to your TV if you have a newer TV. Many here could walk you through it (not me, my kid did it for us!!). All it takes is a HDMI cable and a faster connection than dial up. We used AT&T DSL at the time.

Anyway, good luck with all those babies. Heck I would get a milk goat with all those kids and have virtually free milk and cheese. lol - actually I did have milk goats at one time and they were about as cheap as chickens if you have some place for them to forage and can provide some feed.

Now that feed has gone up so much I am not sure that milk goats are cheaper than buying milk at the store, others could advise you on that. Unless chickens run free range and forage for themselves, I do remember chicken feed being fairly expensive. My eggs cost more than what I got at the grocery store, but I knew what they were eating.

good luck!

http://www.dhcd.virginia.gov/Housing...Assistance.htm

I haven't read through all the responses, so maybe this has been mentioned. This is the website for the weatherization program in Virginia. When I worked for a contractor, we did work for this program and the rehab program. They put in insulation, sealed windows and doors (and in some cases replaced them), and fixed or replaced heating units. You would surely qualify and, yes, they do rentals. :)

Are you in an area that you could open a home daycare? You seem like an articulate and kind person and good child care is in great demand. When my hubs had the opportunity to get his phd on a teaching assistantship, he took a huge, massive cut in pay. We had four kids and I knew that I needed to find a way to make up the difference. So, I opened a licensed home childcare and was quickly making $4500 a month plus food program reimbursement ($800-900/mo). I worked all through and after my 5th pregnancy, was able to stay home with my kids who loved having their friends over and support my family which took some of the pressure off of my husband while he pursued his dream (he's a professor now). It is not an easy job and the hours are long, but there were so many benefits for my family (including tax benefits, keeping a good schedule and being more organized in general). With the extra money, I was able to start a very profitable side business that brings in a major portion of our income even now.

I was very much in your shoes once upon a time and it is soo hard to be poor. Poverty is demeaning and diminishes a person's hope and it is hard on relationships. I would encourage you to try to bring in additional income. Perhaps if there was some improvement in the budget, your husband would see that it is possible and be encouraged to pursue that degree or maybe a two year degree that would improve your family's situation even more. Congrats on the pregnancy....babies and children are such a blessing and I'm rooting for you!

Grow as much as you can find jars to can in at yard sales, auctions and flea markets I never pay more then 25 cents a jar, herbs are great to grow.
Household- make your cleaning supplies I make a refil for my swiffer and knit a washable pad for it. I make my own laundry soap, hang clothes out to dru as much as I can. Buy toilet paper etc when on sale & have a coupon a lot of times proctor $ gamble offers a $5-15 gift card if you buy $25-50 on 1 receipt so I stock up then watch cvs & Walgreens for extra bucks and rewards just don't let them expire before you use them.
Electric- change all you bulbs to cfl or led unplug everything.

More later

hairyhobo - I wish we could have. We did try. The upload speeds are way too low. My DH does IS and even with the HS connection we have there is a slight delay. It would be cheaper, but it would not work for his needs. But I agree, when trying to save, you have to make every little bit count. I think we have been missing some things. Thanks for the well wishes!!

I agree with you about work. I do think that there are businesses out there and I should probably be more dillegent about looking for a way to advertise. I did CL for a long time thinking that would be the best and got no responses. I will try again. Thanks for the advice.

Re: the TV, we have actually done that. And we should have a lower bill next month. We were also not getting all our credits and they are showing up now. We do not have cell phones, just 1 Tracfone we share that is $10/month, when we remember to load it!!

I started to reply to each of you and I am sorry, we are getting ready to go visit my in-laws and packing just to go to town with 3 kids is insane today!! So, I will condense.

You all are the best!! I feel like no one is mincing words, but I also feel like you understand that we are working to make the needed changes. Thank you thank you for the support! Most people - I am a VERY private person - know nothing about what goes on in my head or how I feel. Sometimes, not even the hubs. But when it comes to taking care of my kids, I will break my back to do what is needed. They love living in the country. They talk all the time about animals and gardening and hay! You should hear these conversations. So I know we have made the right choice. Even my city boy is itching to learn to hunt and excited about having a cow one day.

So, we talked about it and decided that we are going to work hard, make cuts and try to find our own piece of land over the next year. Our lease here ends in May, but we will renew for 1 yr more if needed since the rent itself is cheap and with all the good advice, we can make changes to effect the energy bill. We can not make a change right this second to the car situation because we have to fit 4 kids soon but we are going to try to fix that as well.

We are going to hold on and not plan for any livestock. Just focus on funneling any extra $$ to bills or savings. We will continue to be conservative about spending and tracking spending. Whatever refund we get, we will probably hold off on using it for anything other than stocking up on a few staples - rice, oatmeal, flour, oil, etc. - thrifting some clothes for the kids and some homeschooling supplies. Other than that, we will try to make sure we get things paid off.

I know that I have missed some of the things that you all mentioned. Please know I read it all!! I am looking forward to the slight reprive I will get at the in-laws, the chance to get their advice and the time to be with loved ones. I have to say, I feel so much better after knowing that we do not have to give up on the dream - I really do not like living in the 'burbs. Oh, and we will do a garden this year, a small one. I did make some raised strawberry beds in the summer so I will just use those and some pots. I may dismantle my coop since we will not be using it and make some more beds as well. That and I will frequent the pick your own farm down the road and preserve like a crazy woman! I will be baby-free by the summer so I will be able to get back to work!!

And I received some apples so I am going to can some applebutter on Monday! Wish I could send you all a jar to say thank you!

That is exactly what I did. And in British Columbia as well. There is an enormous demand for bookkeepers for small businesses (particularly home based ones) and if you have the qualifications you will actually be turning people away. I set up my own business at home and started dealing with small businesses and several orchards and vineyards. I did taxes as well. You have to be disciplined and set your hours of work but working from home allowed me to fit in all the things I had to do for the family and around the homestead. And you can be flexible - you can take on more clients or drop them as your circumstances demand.

However I did not have 3 little ones and a newborn to care for at that time as well as homeschooling - send the kids to school and instantly time expands as do their minds. My earnings allowed us to do the things we wanted to do, pay for education, acquire savings and a retirement fund and never again have to worry about if there was enough money to buy toilet paper.

Just something I thought of for the future - you say you are making soap and that you look forward to having goats one day. A friend of mine has a nice little business making goats' milk soap. She sells to locals and also on the internet. She has four young girls. Could be something to think of in the future.
You sound like you've got it sorted in your head now. Go for it, Girl!

Glad you were able to sit down and talk through every angle on your finances and future. It's easy to bottle it all up so you don't worry your spouse but making a plan together really gives you some hope and a path to work your way to something better. Hope you are able to buy a great place that suits your needs and saves you some money!

Your husband is working and not a slacker, he deserves the dish network or whatever he has. We all need a little reward for hard work.

Getting snipped is the best idea yet...lol Kids are expensive...lol

Blessing for your family !

What does this mean? "we have 3 kids now but I don't trust taking deductions"

Do you get a huge tax refund each year? If so you should consider taking all the allowable deductions and have a higher monthly income.

Nancy

I just wanted to comment on this. Kids are not that expensive. Once you have more than a couple you really don't notice an increase. At least I didn't. We already had everything needed for a child. Saved all the clothes, toys, cribs, highchairs, etc.

Kids are as expensive as you make them. Feeding our gang is not that big of a deal. Takes some work canning & such, but it's not as bad as most people think it is.

Hollie, what I did when I started out on my own doing bookkeeping / accounting - I kept my eye on local papers, online classifieds, etc for any companies looking for part time people. Also, I don't know if you know any Chartered accountants in the area - if you do...they can be an amazing referal source as they generally have clients who need clean up work done and they don't have the time to do it themselves.

I have to say this: kids are expensive and become more so as they get older unless you intend to not provide for all their needs (notice I did not say wants).

i.e. I had three children. All three wear glasses. All three had to have eye exams and glasses yearly. (our schools required proof of annual eye exams during the K-5 grades). Eye exams frequently are not covered by insurance or the exam is covered but the glasses are not.

My son had to have braces. His teeth were so out of whack that he developed a speech impediment. He had to have a separator first - the type with a key. No covered by insurance. that was 1,000. Braces for 3.5 years was 6,000 and insurance only covered 1500.

So if you have a bunch of kids and one or two or maybe all of them require something like that..yes kids are expensive. Feeding and clothing children is not too bad if one is careful when shopping for clothing and food or has a garden. But kids do need things other than food and clothing. Some children require things such as social interaction through sports - sports cost money for uniforms, bats/balls/etc. Some children require medications not covered by insurance.

Just because food and clothing can be acquired cheaply does not mean that children with needs are not expensive.

Notice - I never once mentioned wants like cell phones, tvs in their rooms, etc. I am speaking solely about medical needs, emotional needs, physical needs or mental needs. When children have such needs, (or it is anticipated that they will have needs like this in the future) it is wise to put money away for that time.

It was so nice to hear your reply holliehmstd! Maybe your family can really make a go of it after all.

I would have given you advice to put your homesteading dreams on hold for several years till your kids were all in school and you could both work (your butts off!)

But I wouldn't have taken that advice either!!!

I wish the best for all of you, take care.

Hollie,
Hope I'm not coming to the thread too late to be of use, but our situation is pretty similar to yours. DH and I have been married 10 years, and recently surprised with number 4 on the way. (None planned, ALL surprises and each one more method of BC added to the list that does not work on me...)
Our income level is also pretty similar. It used to be even less before DH finally got out of his crummy retail job.

1.) You are getting screwed on your taxes somewhere. This may be the last year the rule is in effect but you should be qualifying for a $1000 refund on each dependent you claim up to 4 I think. Go to HR Block or something and get a second opinion. You can set it up for no up front cost-- I think they still guarantee that they will find you the largest possible refund, and will take their payment for preparing your taxes out of the refund they get you. I think it's about $20 if you pay up front, or $100 out of the refund.

2.)This brings me to the next piece of the puzzle. If you can find any way to stop paying that car note and reduce the insurance coverage to state min, that is a big piece of your missing money. If you can finagle your taxes to award you a refund check properly, you should either pay off the car note, sell the car note, or return it to the dealer and buy a 10 year old minivan instead for cash.

3.)My rebuttal to the "move to a cheaper home" is this-- it can be hard to find something that "fits" the family affordably, and even if you could find something for the 500$ range you still need at min. $1000-$2000 in deposits in liquid cash to pull it all together. I've been there, and no-- it's not very realistic. Were I you I would plan to batten down the hatches and make the place you're in work for you.
I suggest closing up heating vents to only route the electric heat to certain rooms that you use the most like the children's bedrooms, the kitchen and the family room. Hang up heavy blankets in doorways of those seldom used sections to keep the heat where you want it. Cover the windows of the house with film on the outdoors and heavy cloth or blankets on the inside stapled/thumb tacked all around so no drafts escape.

Make supper in the oven a lot, then leave the oven door cracked open when you turn it off so the heat dissipates into the air of the kitchen, not to languish in the oven for hours and hours.
Indoor drying racks in the warm rooms of the house save a bit on the dryer (and the racks can be used to dry herbs in warm weather.) Just fluff your air dried clothes in the dryer for 5-10 mins to give them that soft feeling.

I absolutely think you should owner finance a farm of your own someday and have control over the repairs/development of your own place... but you're not in a position to do that until you have a little money leftover in your budget to set aside. Even an owner financier wants a substantial down payment. It couldn't hurt to ask your landlords if they'd be interested in selling the current place to you (assuming you want it).

4.) The food budget.
No one would begrudge your family a hand-up in the form of state assistance. No.One. It will take less than an hour of your time to apply using your state's human services website-- you do not have to take every benefit they offer you, but the online application will pre-screen you with no bother to anyone else and tell you what you qualify for. You are also not committed to completing the process by submitting follow up info if you don't want to in the end-- but any relief would help you. It's not flatly based on your gross income. Your housing and utility cost are subtracted from that income, and your utility and housing costs are HUGE.

Here in AZ the state poverty health insurance is free no co-pay medical to children and parents. In some states it's only children, in some it's pregnant women and children.

If you could put just the children on it for a year, it would free up some of that money that comes out of your husband's checks, AND you would pay nothing out of pocket in immunizations and well child visits. If you could go on it it would cover your childbirth costs, and follow up BC or a sterilization procedure.
In Oregon, they ran a fantastic rebate program to cover the out of paycheck costs of health insurance-- but you still used your employers health insurance as usual. Bottom line, if you don't research these programs meant to help families stay productive members of society, you'll never know if relief is available.

You probably qualify for some food stamps-- it's your call if you want to go there (anyone who wants to judge you can blow it out their ear.) If you do-- you should know that SNAP also covers food garden items like started plants, herbs, seeds, berry vines, even fruit trees. I started my first town container garden with seeds I bought on EBT, 5$ of bagged soil, and tree pots I got as freebies on craigslist.

If you don't feel comfortable taking food stamps, at the very least please accept WIC. The milk, bread, produce, peanut butter, cereal, cheese and eggs will defray a few meals easily and your family is very much deserving.
They will also provide lactation help, and if (God forbid) some complication prevents you from breastfeeding the formula vouchers they provide will keep your baby full, and follow up appointments will help monitor your child's growth, iron etc. (very important if you're cash strapped and put off those well child visits for the copays.)
A lot of people do both WIC and SNAP, but for our own personal choices I won't take one if I have the other-- I also used a LOT of coupons on the WIC stuff to help save the program money. Most don't bother, but it's a nice thing to do to help out.

When the weather warms up, I recommend some research on "wild food foraging". Since you have access to some acres of woods I bet you can source quite a bit of free berries and salads without any gardening at all.

5.)Your husband's education--
Yes, do ask if the company would pay for him to go back to school, but ALSO fill out a FAFSA. He should qualify for a pell grant, that is free government money they invest into education to get families into higher incomes where they will be independent of the welfare system and pay more taxes into the system. --A hand up, not a hand out. A pell grant is enough to cover a full ride at most community colleges with a bit leftover to spend on whatever the student needs-- transportation, a new computer, rent, food, clothes, a cell phone bill, whatever. You don't have to take out loans (but you can take some for just one term if borrowing a little money now has a long term payoff like providing a downpayment on an affordable home.) This may be the path your DH needs to finally move up in the company or change careers like my spouse did, or alternatively, you could use it to qualify for a career or gain skills to run your own business or consultations out of your home when the kids are in school someday, and should leave you about $1000 of loose money every term of classes you take after books and tuition. Online courses qualify.

6.) Getting away from making the case for "programs" -- What is your plan for paying for this baby? Are you using your husband's work insurance for a medical doctor/hospital birth? Would you consider maybe changing to a midwife for your gynecological care needs and having the baby at a birth center instead? The average cost for a hospital birth runs about $15,000. The average cost of a Midwife run Birth Center birth is about $5000 including all post natal. Your insurance might cover it at no copays out of pocket.

7.) Comb craigslist for "free" animals like rabbits and chickens (nothing bigger! they all eat and anything larger is harder to feed on scraps and wild grasses!) If you have processing experience, I do pretty well when I offer "meat share butchering". I take all of someone's unwanted male ducks, geese, roosters etc-- process them out, return half the clean prepared frozen meat and keep the rest for my labor. Everyone is happy with the deal.

We provide all of their needs. All of our kids except 2 wear glasses. Our school does not require eye exams at any point. Our eye doctor sees them every other year, not every year. I am sure the youngest will eventually need them & the oldest is blind. The oldest also had braces.

I still say they are not that expensive. We were always able to work out payment plans with the orthodontist or doctor. I think the biggest problem people see is college for a lot of kids. That would be expensive & that is not something we plan on. If they want to further their education they can pick up the tab. Once they are 18 they are an adult & should face life as an adult, with responsibility. Our kids are welcome to live here if they chose to go to college to help as far as a place to live. The oldest has received some scholarships. The second oldest has some mental delays & he went to work at a dairy. The 3rd is a junior & I am sick to death of the college stuff coming to our house. He will have no problem getting a scholarship as he is a genius.

I guess it really depends on where you live because I could easily have more kids & it not affect our budget too much. The house payment is the same whether we have 2 kids or 10. Electric hasn't increased with more kids, not that we noticed. Phone & internet are the same no matter how many kids are here. Heat is the same.

We spend more on food, but I provide most of it in the form of canning & raising animals for milk & meat.

People should not act like this next child is going to break the bank. They will be fine with a few adjustments.

Children are a blessing from God & should be welcomed into the house with lots of love & not lots of worries on how to pay for them. It all works out.

Diapers and day care costs are expensive but once they're out of those....then the main thing to worry about is braces and food. I don't plan to pay for my kids' college either. I have been on my own since I was 18 and yes, the government paid for my schooling (disabled...deaf but I don't really consider myself disabled) but I am working and making pretty good money but it took me 20 years to get there because I couldn't decide what to do!

Yes, she is a sahm, so daycare won't be an issue. Cloth diapers would be less expensive also. There are ways to work it out without your kids being expensive. You just have to want to adjust. Too many people do not want to adjust.

True, she's a SAHM but my wife chooses not to. She actually is the breadwinner in the family. I originally was a stay-at-home-dad but that was because I was in school and working 2 part time jobs and eventually my kids went into day care. They learned a lot more at the day care than at home which is kind of sad when you think about it but my wife's family has a shyness gene that runs real bad and the kids are far from shy now. Not like when they were much younger. Now that I have a pretty decent job, we bought a bigger house. There is no point in which either one of us CAN afford to quit now. We have bills to pay and now we are getting serious about paying down loans and college bills, etc. In about 2 or 3 years, pretty much everything will be pared down and the youngest will be in kindergarten. Due to the kids going to day care..I would not really call it day care, it was more of a Head Start sort of thing and, yes, licensed under the state....they are considered ahead in certain areas and average in others. My wife and I are deaf therefore the kids needed exposure to hearing people so they would not need speech therapy and other things that come with being children of deaf adults. So far, no need for speech therapy and they can both sign and speak. Advanced reading skills and average in everything else which is pretty much what my wife and I were like as children and we're glad! Well, my goal is to eventually move to a smaller town with much larger acreage. I am hoping 4 to 6 years from now. By then, I should have a bachelor's and have work experience. My wife is very reluctant to consider moving since she was born here and grew up here, went to school here, bought a house here and apparently wants to die here. I hate Kansas for several reasons...my early onset arthritis acts up really bad there. My body likes heat inside and outside so that will be an issue before long.

I agree with ditching the pay TV. We use a "black box" to get TV over an antennae on the roof. Before we moved to this house our antennae was a set of rabbit ears. The black box picks up the digital stations. IF you need one, many newer TV's don't, they are available for about $60. Ask around and see if anyone else in your area is using one and what kind of reception they get. It could be an option.
I believe you said you live in a two story house. If so, buy some cheap clear plastic sheeting and tape and cover those upstairs windows. Cover the entire window well with plastic to cut out drafts. That should help with the heating. You could also cover the screen doors with plastic if you don't already have storm doors. Helps more than you might think.
Shop thrift stores first for any and all household and clothing needs. You can buy bedsheets that can be cut like regular fabric and used to sleepwear, play clothes, etc. Also sometimes you can find clothing cheap enough and large enough to cut childrens' clothes from them. Cheaper than yard goods in most cases.
Use florescent bulbs in the fixtures that are used most. Saves more than you think.
The boarded up fireplaces may have structural damage if the house is really old. It may not show from the outside, but it can still be there. Be careful with them, and fireplaces really do suck the warm air from the central right on out the chimney if a good, hot fire isn't kept going in them 24/7.
And yes, ask about the food stamps and WIC, also Medicaid. You might qualify. If you could get Medicaid you could get the baby machine stopped.
You might try a garage sale when the weather is more stable. I'd almost bet you've got at least some things that you don't really need, use or want and you could sell them and get a little cash money from that.
If you still have 3 years on the vehicle note, I'd definitely look into getting rid of it and buying an older model that you could pay for quickly, or maybe even outright with money from sale of the current one.
I think you said you had a cell phone and a land line. We use Trac phones which are cheaper than many cell phones. Also, if you do qualify for food assistance and/or Medicaid, you may also qualify for discounted land line rates.
I don't know what your husband does for a living, but if he's been working there that long and making that little while they are promoting others up over him, he really needs to look into other employment. I know it isn't easy, and it isn't fast, but his career isn't going anywhere and unless something changes for the better you have years and years of barely scraping by ahead of you. Been there, done that, still doing that. This comes under the heading of "Do as I say, not as I've done". I've already messed myself up on this count.
I suspect you really would be better off to move elsewhere, but like you said the cost of moving is tremendous, especially when you're already broke. I love old houses, but they cost a lot to heat and cool.
I can really identify with you and your situation, and I wish you well.

These are the kind of comments not necessary. I wish people would stop making comments that make this upcoming baby out to be something awful. She doesn't need to resent this baby. Things will work out & they will be fine.

We had a really full weekend so I logged on after we got in an settled tonight and have not had a chance to read all the posts. Dusky Beauty - I will read that in just a moment! And everyone else too. However, I got a glance at a couple of comments on the same topic that I just want to address here.

We are about to have our 4th baby. Do our finances allow for it? Probably not. However, I have several medical conditions, one of which caused me to be completely infertile and suffer greatly for 3 years (I know this sounds like small potatoes to those who have endured for much longer). The day that I found out I was pregnant with my daughter (#1) I fell on my knees and sobbed so much, my mother thought I had lost it. I never imagined I would experience the joy of pregnancy, breastfeeding, any of it.

Do I feel that we can handle any more children? No.

Would I appreciate it if the issue of the number of children we have and the possible reference to it being irresponsible of us to have the children we do - and I count the one in utero as a child from moment of conception - to stop being an issue? Yes.

I am aware, for many more reasons other than just finances, that pregnancy, child-bearing, child-rearing, etc., are important issues and require more thought than just "that one fun night". However, my children are so much more than that to me. I know that they will most likely never have the lifestyle of a Trump kid. I am not worried about that. What I am concerned with is that my husband and I do the best we can and love, protect, educate, raise and provide the best that we can. Aside from that, I just wanted you all to know that this was not a momentary lapse in judgement. If you knew the odds of me even getting pregnant, you would feel the same as I do, that each one of these miracles is just that. And while I do want to "stop the baby machine", I am going to soak up this last journey as if it was the first.

See ya'll later! Have a great night.

if the husbands employer was flexble enough to let him work from home 2 days a week, would they agree to adjust his hours to maybe three longer days a week, and then he could maybe find a second job for the other two days? Even a minimum wage second job would help you out without losing what you already have,

Sorry it's such a wall of text... and some of it's been stated before, but since I've been through all these things I thought I'd share what I learned from the experience.

We used to have to cohabitate with relatives with 7 people and 2 households of stuff crammed into a 4 bedroom house (with land) that was was a constant source of stress-- too much stuff and not enough of it "mine" to be free to dispose of. Personal drama of other adults with their own individual problems... a rent payment larger than we could ever cover on our own (will the in laws have the money for their half on time, or won't they???)

Praise God that he made a way for all of us to get out of that with our familial bonds intact! We're much happier now on a place with an older home and less land, but it's just our family, and a mortgage with our names on it... only 50$ more a month than the too small for two place that was making us crazy.
That place was also an energy sucker and the teens in the family didn't give a flying crap about keeping the kilowatts down.
Our power bill was instantly half what it used to be.

It was scary at first when on paper it looked like we were spending $50 a month more than we made--- but we made some tweaks and made it work for us.

Been there, done all of that. Our takeaway is that we are 1.)never relying on a landlord again, and 2.) never taking a car loan of any kind for any reason.

Each child is a blessing, but there comes a time when you cannot afford to provide for any more children. I got the impression that she would like to have a procedure done to prevent more pregnancies. That does not mean a person doesn't love or want their children. I had three children before my husband decided a wife and three kids cost him too much and left to "find himself". He was out living a life with no responsibility and buying anything and everything he wanted while I was trying to figure out where our next meal came from and how I'd keep shoes on their feet. I loved my children then, and I love them now, but I could not have provided for any more. We did without what most people considered necessities and my children who are now adults all understand the value of a dollar and waste not, want not. There was some good that came from it all, but it was hard, very, very hard to just survive.

You have gotten great advice and enough preaching. Just do it. Make any changes you can, together. Look into everything brought up, check, don't just guess. Every person has an opinion and know what worked for them but every situation is different.

Just me.... I always bought a new vehicle, less upkeep, less worry. But only 1 vehicle. Save the costs of a second one, at least for now. Sell it and put it towards an early payoff. But the used one takes less insurance. I think you are better off than you think, you just need to make tough decisions to tighten the belt. Him getting fixed needs to be done, since you both agree, unless you can get it done for the same/less money during delivery. AND YES I did it and payed full price, best thing I could do. He needs to man up. Would DH make the changes needed IF he really thought he needed too? IF he is listening and is onboard with what YOU are pushing and it is what YOU (family) decides has to happen? Otherwise it will never work. I am not sure he thinks (knows) it is as bad as you make it out to be. I get the feeling you are not on the same page with this lifestyle. Me....I would never rent, you never get anything out of it, cut way back, start slow and small IF he is at all willing to help instead of sitting on the couch watching football all day Sunday, wasted oppertunity....James

you should be getting WIC possibly others http://www.dss.virginia.gov/benefit/wic.cgi

When we were put on unemployment last spring, I was lucky enough to be invited to take the "pig" food from our local food pantry...plus I help pack up so good leftovers move on to the next town...so I am gifted bread/fruits and veg. from what is moving on...I have made jams and canned a lot of other stuff from quickly going by produce...we have goats,chickens rabbits etc.

TEFAP is the $$ guideline for food pantry....volunteering is most enjoyable and it has also given mr barter opportunities for my extra eggs.

I also make $100 a month doing the pay sites in my sig line and I occasionally babysit for some extra $$ as I homeschool a high needs kiddo...

Goodluck!

I wanted to add that our pantry takes your application, verifies your address, and them simply reports a number to the county office.....so there is some level of confidentiality with it.