Housing Question, Advice Appreciated

I know I don’t have all the details and will need to make some assumptions here.
Your parents have bailed you two out a time or two. So, they don’t have a ton of trust in you two, right?
Your parents gave you a place to live, rent free, but they weren’t about to just give you a house. You felt that they should give you the house. When they refused, you moved. Now your parents are stuck paying the utilities on both places.
Rather than pay utilities on both places, they are thinking of selling it or letting your brother stay there. But they are willing to let you back into the house, but the part that caused you to move out hasn’t changed. It is still their house.
I believe their intentions are good. A rent free house is good, even without a promise to own it when they die. Access to farm land is good, too.
But problems pop up that no one expects. If your parents; health fails and they require a Nursing Home. That cost will eat up every asset they own. The house in town will be gone, the farm will be gone, just to pay their medical needs. They may intend to give you the house, but it may not be there by the time they die.
What happens if Dad passes on and Mom re-marries? Suddenly, half of everything belongs to this new stranger. Then if your Mom dies, he gets all the remaining assets.
They need to start turning this stuff over a couple years before their medical needs take them. But they aren’t ready, sounds like. Why should they?
A better deal would be to set up a MH on the farm and let you live there. You’d be close, could work with Dad to farm. They could sell the house in town or offer your brother the same deal they offered you.

go to attorney and get advice. i think there is a way you can get a deed to the property and they can keep the right to use for there lifetime. dont know if that is acceptable. w/recorded deed property will one day be yours w/no restrictions

Legally, anything that has to do with real estate has to be put in writing. Otherwise nothing is binding. If you accept your Grandfather's house, then get a lawyer to draw things up.

Second, It would be a pain to have livestock you must drive to see. I do know of one man who did it by putting his livestock on a rented field located between his house and his work, so he passed by there anyways.

Lastly, it concerns me that the last time you were in your Grandfather's house, it broke up after a quarrel. It concerns me because quarrels HAPPEN! I am concerned that trying to make it work in your Grandfather's house might put a strain on your relationship with your family. Because quarrels happen.

As a young woman, I think that I would have jumped all over this as a wonderful opportunity. But, I am not a young woman any longer. I believe that I would hug my Mom for the offer, but decline. Though, if I could be allowed to raise goat hay at your Dad's place with your Dad's equipment, *THAT* much I would gratefully accept! And then I would keep goats where I lived.

IMHO

In all honesty, I see where your parents are coming from. They were not charging you rent, and the only expenses you were responsible for were basic maintenance cost, such as utilities and insurance. There was no grounds for you and your husband to assume ownership of the house. It is actually theirs and they most likely saw the situation as giving you and family a free place to live, for now. If you want the house to become yours talk to them about what terms they would want to sell it to you. Perhaps they would give a reasonable deal that at some agreeable point the hous would become yours. I understand your point, but, theirs seems more reasonable considering that they were never charging you for your stay there.

I can both sides of this. You have a point that you want to be to total charge of your own home. However your parents have a point as well. They may think the house should stay in the family. If they have seen you make what they consider mistakes, poor financial decisions, or problems getting along, they may feel that there is a possibility you will loose the house or it will have to be sold in a divorce.

I would see at point your parents would feel comfortable giving or selling you the house. If you think that is reasonable, get a legal agreement and accept the gift of free housing.

A word of warning- you said you will also inherit the farm as you are your father's only child. Be sure this is in writting before you count on it. If your father does not have this legally established, and he dies before your mother, she may have other ideas. This happens quite often.

Regardless of whether they sign a contract or not, you could still lose the property through medical expenses or other legal issues if their names are on the deed (even if they add yours). I think the only way I would do this is if they put the house into an irrevocable trust that you are the sole beneficiary of. It is my understanding that once in an irrevocable trust, that it cannot be used for medical or legal issues, nor could they change their minds, but you would need to ask a lawyer about that.
Dawn

I would do that in a heartbeat with an irrocavable trust. I would pay all the legal fee's for that. I would have a written agreement with your parents that you will pay taxes and minor repairs. Take the money tou are paying now for rent and bank it. Continue to pay all other expenses but do not use the rent money for anything other than a saved fund. $600 a month is $7200 a year. In 5 years if it doesn't work out you will have $36,200 + accumulated interest, $72K in 10 years. I see no way that a used mobile will do anything but depreciate in value. After 5-10 years I would approach your parents about making the deed in both your names.

If one of them goes into a nursing home, they can go back five years and undo anything they want to, and an irrevocable trust is no exception to this, so even if it's in an irrevocable trust, the OP could still lose it through no fault of her own or even of her parents' fault.

This happened to a church member; she sold her house and moved in with her grandmother to take care of her, on the condition that she inherited the house (the grandmother offered when she was till able to agree.)

But the grandmother developed dementia, and spent the last four months in a nurding home because the woman had a broken hip and just couldn't take care of her.

Medicare took the house because it was the only real asset.

The only good thing about this was that, on the advice of just about everyone I know of, she had put the money from the sale of her house into savings and not on her grandmother's house, so she didn't lose everything, which she would have, and everyone told her that (including her grandmother, incidentally,) . . . and for the first time I can remember, everyone was right.

Because Medicare is a federal program, this is true across state lines; individual states might have their own programs with their own rules, but if her parents use Medicare, they're probably going to lose the house, the land, and just about everything else.

Medicade canmtrigger taking assets. Medicare is the insurance you pay for from the time you start working. There is no taking assets for Medicare, once you are 65 it's one of very few insurance option.

But since Medicare does not pay for everything, Medicaid is needed when the money runs out. Then, the assets are taken. You may start out on Medicare, but a short stay in a Nursing Home will wipe you out.

I think the kids are best off living on their own for a while, and supporting themselves.

There seem to be issues about responsibility. Paying for their own place is a good learning experience.

Transferring property between parents and kids is fraught with issues. Many of them are discussed here, but mostly you buy it from your folks, or inherit when they pass, the gove has made it difficult to buy and massively expensive to gift a property.

Since the first go around didnt go well when they let you live there about free, the wise thing to do is cut the cord and live on your own, responsible for your own housing. Build your life and let your folks live theirs.

Paul