Something has got to give

But from the sounds of it you could use a car that you do not make payments on. A new car is not a necessity. While you may not be able to get out from under your payment (say if the car is worth less than the balance of the loan) it is no doubt greatly contributing to your financial hardship. You should add up what you pay out for full coverage insurance for a year plus your car payments. You mention that the car does not get 35 mpg either. Do the math. My own car budget goes like this:

Car purchase price: $150
Car Repair thus far: $210
Car Insurance: $146 for the year
Gas: (I drive on average 1600 miles a month) $129.77@$3.65
Oil Change (oil is changed every 2000 miles, oil filter every other change: $131.80/yr
Car Registration: $75/yr
Tires: $60/yr in tire mounting although most of the time I do it myself for nothing. Tires themselves are free.

Total cost per year: $2330.40
Total running cost per day: $6.38@365 days per year
Total running cost per mile: $0.126 per mile

I keep a very close eye on my transportation cost. Obviously things like fuel are not always a constant but my bet is you spend more on fuel per day than I spend for everything on my car. A new car is never an inexpensive car. A good solid reliable car for $1500 is an inexpensive car. My bet is your income from your jobs barely covers the cost of transportation if you add up all the cost involved. I keep a little log book of everything I spend, complete with receipts. You'll be amazed how little stuff can add up in a big hurry.

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There are people that would give that all day long around here since thats below scrap price unless its tiny car body minus drivetrain. Around here you probably still get drivable clunker (moves forward under own power) around $500, but its not going to be pretty, reliable, or get 35mpg. Find an econobox for whatever price and cheap 13 inch tires alone are now around $60 each. Though guess you can drive around on maypops if you drive a pickup and have pile tires in back and time to change them out....

Basic liability insurance is also going to be double what you quote. You have to live way out back of beyond in a VERY RURAL county and not close to a real job in order to get it cheaper. Car registration here be about half what you quote on a clunker. Though we do have separate personal property tax on vehicles. Have to show proof of paying property taxes before you can renew plates.

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The price was based on scrap price. The car doesn't even weigh a ton. At the time scrap was about $175 a ton. Now keep in mind this thing was rolled over with a smashed out windshield. I lucked out at found one at a junkyard for 70 bucks. Put it in myself and used up a $20 dollar tube of sealant. My friend and I had to push the roof back up by lying on our backs with the seats reclined all the way back and then push with our feet on the ceiling

The ones behind the local dealership are free I get anywhere from 3000-10,000 miles on a freebie. I suspect cars are cheaper around here than where you are at. It's been harder to find much good under $500 bucks but it's still possible.

Eh, you have to go to the right dealerships. The worst places to go are where there are tons of poor people. When I go to large cities I'm always on the lookout for tires. I have gotten tires with half tread on them or better using that strategy.

Well I happen to live in a very rural county and not very close to a real job so that describes my situation to a tee. The largest town in the county has 2700 people. I can also go a little south of my place and drive for 20 miles without seeing a single house.

Also good to see on on HT. I haven't seen you post in a while

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Phil, while I salute your extreme frugality, I think your suggestions might take a little bit more energy than the OP has available. It also might be more of a drastic standard of living change than she is prepared to make.

Allthough-- paying off the car with the next windfall might be a good idea to reduce monthly expenses on that liability insurance.

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Accidental fire is the most common method... floods and tornados are not dependable.

Move yourself closer to the job or move the job closer to your home so you can walk. Or if you must... carpool. Probably the best answer to this is simply change jobs. Work for yourself out of your home.

Not only tried it but did it for years. Its really not that tough... and believe me neither electric nor running water is a legal requirement for raising children. If they were I know a whole lotta people that would be in deep doodoo.

Most of this stuff is easily gotten around by simply thinking outside societies box.

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"Nothing so needs reforming as other peoples habits." Mark Twain

NO NO and NO again! that would be arson!! You sell your house to the insurance company by letting it burn down accidentally.

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"Nothing so needs reforming as other peoples habits." Mark Twain

Sure, because everyone can do that.

You want her to move out of her house, that they own, to move closer to the job, therefore having 2 houses you can't sell AND pay rent, when she can't even afford the 1 they have that is vacant.

Not everyone can work out of their home. And there aren't that many jobs to be found.

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Nope, I didnt say to move out of her house.... that was just one of countless options available.... I look for ways and means to accomplish goals by thinking outside the box.... anyone can find excuses for failure... especially when they follow our sick societies "established norms". Things like working out of your home.... because you are working for yourself has worked for countless thousands... why can it NOT work for one more? Think about it for just one moment please.... Yoga classes taught at her home... twenty members... 5 bucks a head times three classes a week would pull in a spare 300 bucks a week for doing something she loves to do... and currently PAYS someone else for!! Yoga can be done at her home.. no additional expense, no travel time or expense or need for a vehicle.

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"Nothing so needs reforming as other peoples habits." Mark Twain

Oh for pete's sake. I cannot burn down the house (either of them!) or live without running water. There is no creek around here and I have children and animals to keep alive. I cannot safely drive around in a car that costs $150 and I can't carpool because my (ridiculous) job is driving from store to store to store. I'm far more likely to shop at Goodwill and grow food when times are tough than to live without water or shelter.

I could do yoga by DVD at home, yes. But so far I've not met many around these parts that want to come to my house and pay to do it with me. I am still meeting local people-for now my yoga place is 5 minutes from my biggest store and on the way home. It's not my favorite place around but it's the closest with the best rate ($5/ class 3x a week). It's also for my mental health-in just the past week the stress level has gone down enough in my head to hatch a plan I can live with. When things are running smoothly (hopefully in the fall) I will do my yoga-ing on the porch when the baby naps and the big girl is in school. I had planned that for last fall but it just didn't work out that way so I gave it up altogether. Clearly I need that time for me-3 whopping hours a week I can hide from the rest of the world and focus on my well being. Still-I struggle with the guilt.

I've done direct sales before; I had a fairly successful home party business for about 7 years. It doesn't work with my life now-I tried several times to pick it up after the girls were born and my heart is just not in it anymore.

And if I lost both of my jobs tomorrow I would probably go look for more jobs. Wrong answer, I know!

Well now, if you are sure your houses, neither of them, can catch fire, I think we can cut a huge chunk out of the budget by canceling the fire insurance. No one is suggesting that you set fire to either house, that would be illegal not to mention immoral, and the insurance company would never pay off if they were to suspect a deliberate act on your part. Carelessness on the other hand is not illegal else our nations emergency rooms would not be doing the business they do. Now that we have resolved that issue, lets move on to running water. I was under the impression that you had a well... is this not the case? If not you are totally forgiven as I agree that we all need a source of potable water for ourselves as well as any critters that we have assumed the responsibility for. Well, maybe not "totally" forgiven.... that would bring up the issue of having purchased a homestead with no dependable water supply available which would be a whole nuther subject for a whole nuther thread. I will have to question your statement however that "I cannot live without running water". The term running water is normally associated with a pressurized system of some kind that makes your water supply convenient rather than available. Millions of folks live quite well without the convenience of "running water". Those who do have it... pay a price for it. Money, stress, becoming more "tied to the system", these costs for convenience add up. As you mentioned in your op... your "ridiculous job" is costing you more than its worth. Think about that. If you didnt have the job, you wouldnt need the car. You mentioned you cant sell it because you bought it new??? Sup with that? sell it! take the loss if needed but get rid of the things you dont need and are costing you more than they are worth. (Ok, keep the kids, I am pretty sure there are laws against selling or eating them)

By changing your lifestyle, eliminating about 99 percent of the stress you place upon yourself, you may just find you dont need that three hours a week yoga class at all. (I get pretty much the same affect by watching the calves run across the meadow or scratchin the dog behind his ears or watching the butterflies) I dont do guilt. I take care of the important things, and let the rest of the world feel guilty about the petty stuff if they want to. I would have thought your yoga instructors would have taught you about all that by now.

Perhaps there are other things that interest you more, that you could create a modest income from? (like teaching friends and neighbors about stress relief by staring at their belly buttons for a few hours a week)

Only if you really want to get out of the rat race. If you really and truly are looking for peace of mind, raising your babies in a healthy and wholesome manner and getting out of the nonsensical rat race our current society demands of us... get out! If not.. continue to play their game... go get another job! Get two or three... that way you can afford to pay someone to show you how to relieve all your stress. Of course thats after you pay for the cars, tires, wires and accessories, insurance, interest payments, clothes required for the job, credit card purchases for lunches on the road coz you are never home to eat, babysitters for your kids that you will never see growing up, cell phones "coz I might get stranded" and all the other carp that puts you where you are today. Which part of "simplify your life" did you not get from my earlier post? you cannot achieve simplification by adding complications any more than you can get out of the rat race by trying to outrun the rats.

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"Nothing so needs reforming as other peoples habits." Mark Twain

Fair enough. It doesn't sound like the OP is in dire straights, more or less just a temporary squeeze. However I've found even people who are in desperate situations will not make the sort of changes necessary to change their situation. You either adapt to reality willingly or let it do it for you. The second option isn't fun.

I've been all over the place with income, going from making $23 bucks an hour and massive paychecks with tons of OT to sweating it out in a field trimming trees for $6.50 an hour part time. That was within the same year. However when I did make the big bucks I paid off my property and socked a lot of it away. You just never know how things will change. I've bought some nicer stuff when I had money but it was used (although well taken care of). New toys and autos are always a poor investment.

I knew a guy who became a millionaire by the time he was in his 30s. His wife's car was a 10 year old VW Golf. The nice stuff came after he could sustain that million dollar income, not before it. I've heard a lot of people who talked about living large while they can (you can only live once right?). Funny thing most of these people are the ones who live out their golden years broke and miserable.

Agreed.

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You are probably right on trying to find a safe car that cost $150, however there are plenty of safe reliable cars for $1500. I would drive a nicer and safer car around if I had to haul kids around. My reality is that I make $600 bucks a month. I have to make it work. There are tough choices that I have to make but it is what it is. People don't always get to do or have everything the way they want to. I am no exception.

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DO NOT get a pig until things have settled down, it is just one more thing to take care of. Feed any scraps to the chickens if you are not already to further offset feed expenses.

It might be useful to actually sit town and total your feed/medicine/milking supply expenses-revenues vs what store bought milk would cost. Not to say it isn't worth it, but just to know what it is costing you.

Get familiar with craigslist if you are not already. Simple as can be. It feels pretty good to sell something and put the money in your pocket!

Someone already mentioned this, but do you have cable TV?

Make sure the house is sealed up tight and the air is set as high as you can stand it (80+), or just open all the windows and live with it. Put the stingiest water heads on the showers you can find and limit everyone to 2 minutes. The savings here comes more from the energy to heat the water than the water itself. Make the kids hang laundry.

See if you can get SO to call the mortgage company on his house, and likewise you can call on the new mortgage. Several mortgage companies are offering easy ways to lower your rate and payment these days.

Give up alcohol and caffeine completely. They may make things feel better for a little while, but in the end they both add to anxiety and cost money.


Hang in there!

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might not agree here. hubs and I were really fighting over money due to us both using the checkbook without notifying the other, = overdrafts!

so, I figured that I could get by on XX per month, and take it out in cash as a 'stipend'. that money is for groceries, MY gas, bagged animals feeds, and a few other things. anything else comes from 'his' acct. this way we both get what we need but don't mess up the acct.

These may not be the best jobs for you but they are jobs. As a single mother you should NEVER be out of the work force for long periods of time. Do what you have to do, perhaps a better job is in your future.
I love yoga!

I would like to say you try to define yourself and validate yourself though your jobs,and what you can acquire (at full price) and you feel you need definition.

So look in a dictionary and to the bible as what a mother and wife is. then take that and make it work for you.

Coco, that may work in part but she is not a wife. She needs to be a mother first and provide for HER children.

Checking back, how are you holding up, Shannon?

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There is a time and a place for decaf coffee.
Never, and in the trash.
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