ever feel overwhelmed?

sounds like you have a lot to do. My opinion, for what it's worth....girlie girl or not, the daughter needs to get busy helping. If she is going to live there, she needs to pitch in with ALL the work, not just her own laundry. Your house, your rules.

The daughter should be doing more, geez working and doing her own laundry sounds like a life I would like to have! She should be doing YOUR laundry as well as the child's and fixing dinner and other chores if she doesn't like to get dirty outside.

and yes, you will find that you can work from daylight to dark and never get everything done, so make a list of what's most important and do that first!

__________________
Be yourself - no one can tell you that you're doing it wrong!

Your life sounds similar to ours only my hubby travels a lot for his work. Not like monday-friday type traveling but he will be gone for months at a time. But then when he is home, he is totally off for a couple of months. It works for us but its not for everybody. I keep my 4 year old grandson twice a week and lucky for me I work my "paying" job from home. I am amazed at what a 4 year old can help out with on the farm. He is the official egg collector, loves to help weed the garden and harvest veggies, and I swear he knows more about goats then I do.
I have felt like a hamster in a wheel all summer (hubby has been gone all summer) but a few weeks ago I started taking a few hours one afternoon each week to do something to refresh my spirit. Whether it is riding my horse, reading a book, or working on a fun craft project, I have found those few hours really help me get ready to get back to work on other chores.

I never knew frustration until we bought our own place. So much potential, so many things I want to do, so little time to do anything!.

Especially with the way the economy has been going these last several years neither the wife or I can afford to quit working. The kids need and deserve our time and attention if we're going to produce well rounded, self-reliant adults from them. Which means homesteading activities are left sucking hind teat.

There have been some hard lessons about what I can realistically accomplish, what I'll have to leave be until the kids no longer need so much of my time, and what I'll likely never be able to do.

Do the best you can with what you have and that will have to be enough.

So, what does she pay you for babysitting?

Mon

This is a typical day/week for me, along with working a 40-50 hr a week job.
And I wouldnt have it any other way. I am also trying to add making my own cheese, soaps and fibers to the list. At least you have your hubby to help, mine comes home once a month for a weekend. Then he goes back to work to rest....LOL

__________________
"If you tickle the earth with a hoe she laughs with a harvest."
- Douglas William Jerrold

Real is Beautiful -Sherry in Maine

I am 47

I guess I'm in the minority here, I don't work THAT hard. I have no animals except chickens and I grow a lot of produce during the season, chop wood and etc. I think the animals are what put most people to work so hard cutting hay, etc,etc.

We do it a little differently. DH leaves for work at about 5am, and gets home somewhere between 5 and 7pm. If there's daylight, he does things around here, even if it's just throwing the ball to exercise the dogs. I do much of the rest. I'm tired a lot of the time, but that's okay; it's a good tired.

Much of the satisfaction in this type of life is how you look at it. There's an ebb and flow to the work, and right now with harvest going on, it's a bit of a crunch time. I read recently that the Amish consider all chores equal; none more important than the other. Each chore is done with a sense of satisfaction and appreciation for the work itself, the things it yields, and the ability to stay in the moment with that particular job. When it's completed, you can go on to the next. Mentally it helps me slow down and savor what I do.

In quiet moments you can look over your day and think about how you can make it more efficient (round bales for the horses, for example, sets you free from two or three feedings a day). But you can also think of ways to make the experience richer and more mentally rewarding. Bring an apple for a beloved horse and see how much pleasure it gives him. Bring in those last stray tomatoes and enjoy a pretty salad, put the garden to bed and smell the sweet soil, straighten up from weeding and feel the soft breeze on your face. Stop worrying about what you have left undone and what you're going to do next and next and next; that'll make you tired before you start! See the simple beauty in each thing you do as you do it; and there find the joy that brought you to the country in the first place.

Anyway, it works for me.

We are in year 4 of the homestead with 2 small children and projects/workload have slowed down for sure, the woodstove is in, the fences are built, the orchard is in, the woodshed and tractorshed are built, the garden soil has been improved, several years worth of firewood has been laid up, plus may other smaller projects. I work full time and my wife works part time. We have paired back a few things that did not make sense for us, no more rabbits and no more ducks, butchering larger animals is far more efficient for me. Despite being mostly organic, I spray the fence lines, it saves a ton of time keeping the fence hot enought to do its job. All of our sheep, goats, and our steer (before we ate him) ran together, which makes watering and feeding much easier (we just feed hay in round bales (winter only), they never get in a fight over that!). We sold down the chicken flock from 25+ birds to 6. Deep mulching the garden reduced weeding needs, but it still gets out of control later in the season, we just don't worry about it. I mow the grass when it is halfway up to my knee. Weedeating may only happen 2-3 times a year. Pigs are great because we only have to tend them for a few months, then they are gone, helps with burnout. Most of the house work is my wife's and most of the heavier work is mine. But we both pitch in if need be. We love to fish, hike, and visit friends that live 3-4 hours away, which we have to juggle with homesteading, but for the most part we can carve a couple days out of every month to do that. Every now again, looking for a larger place comes up, and every time we quickly decide that we are not interested in starting over, but just want to enjoy and enhance what we have. I do occasionally find myself simply obsessing over improving something that really isn't essential to the farm (like hauling home 5 loads of manure to spread on the pasture), but I enjoy it to I do it anyway. In may ways the manual labor I do on the farm is my therapy for working in an office all week. On Saturdays, I often make a point to knock off around 4 or 5, enjoy a cold one, and BBQ some of our homegrown meat on the grill. Although we are Christians, Church has not been a big priority, primarily due to time restraints, and Sundays are typically our day to rest and relax (only taking on "simple" projects!), but hopefully as the farm continues to mature, we will be able to make the time to attend regularly.

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http://www.lindsayfarmonsilvercreek.blogspot.com/

Wow!! You are doing a lot. Be grateful that your DH is willing and able to help as much as he does. I find that the chore list never gets shorter, but my frustration gets higher when the weather doesn't allow me to do at least a few of the extra things. AS long as I am accomplishing SOMETHING....I can keep unfrustrated.

If your daughter was living in her own apartment, she would have to do the laundry, take care of her kid, pay for a babysitter, clean and cook and shop. I assume she is eating at your table? You did not say.
She can do at least half of the housecleaning. Divvy it up, one week she, the other week you. You help raise her child. All those animals, are they profitable or do they cost you money? I can see a beef and a couple of pigs and goats for the freezer. The horses sound like expensive pets that you do not have time for. You better enjoy working. And you are lucky you seem to have a mate who can pull his share properly.

Sounds like a normal small farm to me! Starting in your forties and with a grandchild sounds like what we did. We raised a grandson while working to pay for our place and develop an organic farm from run out land. It was ten years paying the debt, working and 20 years raising the boy. We were tired and wore out but both the boy and the farm turned out good! Now at 65 and 66 years we are cutting back to make the work easier. It is our way of life not a business for us and we wouldn't change a thing except to improve on my husband's health problems.

Yes,i sometimes feel over whelmed with chores & keeping up with yard work,garden & canning & mowing & getting enough wood for the winter & feeding the wood stove twice a day....then their is laundry & cooking & cleaning & caring for all the animals....it slows down during the winter though...

and yes, i do it alone & work part time....

guess keeps me out of trouble & at home as i am not a socializer & would rather be home anyways....

I feel for you, an exhausted, tired beyond words grandmother is not a happy child caregiver.

I suggest you take a long, hard look at the amount of chores you have burdened yourself with. Your animals are not necessary right at this time. If both of you need to work such physically demanding jobs to pay off the homestead,.....make that your priority.

If you falter with the mortgage, and you could with the lumber industry in such a slump, you would need to deal with being homeless with animals. That is the defination of stress!

Do yourself a favor. Take a long, hard look at what you have jumped into. If your daughter is doing all she can do, then someone needs to give better attention to the child involved.

In five years, how many chickens you labored to feed, or how many hours you spend haying won't mean a thing if you have poor health and are 'on the outside looking in."

We have been in your shoes. I was so proud to do it all, work harsh demanding hours, have the best, cleanest animals, do the home cooked meals, can etc. and I did it with a glad and happy heart.

Then both hubby and I became sick with stress and worry and total exhaustion. We will never recover our health. We do not have any of those precious animals either.

I feel you have too much on your plate, to see the forest for the trees. I say this in the most gentle of ways, as I would not want you to wind up like me.

If you lived in the city and had nothing to do but watch TV and go to parties after work and on the weekends, and had a gym membership to make up for your lack of exercise, I guarentee you wouldn't be as happy as you are right now.
Tips: prioritize. Decide what's really important and on some days just let some things go. Also, at 22 your daughter really does need to pitch in, (I'm 18 and I do nearly as much as you do on the farm (maintance, horse/chicken care, wood, hay, house work, etc. to help out).

guess I was kinda venting. I am trying new things to save money and be more frugal, and I love all of the work on the farm. If I could have my way, I'd be on the farm full time and not work at the mill. but with the mortgage being so large, I absolutely have to work, and not just any job.
I love my animals and wish for more time to enjoy them. I love working on the house and yard and flower gardens. love when I have time to cook a home made meal out of our own meat and produce. I love having my grandson with me every day. I really love my life, sometimes I just get stretched too thin. this year we had the best beef we've ever eaten. We had a pretty good crop of different kinds of tomatoes. We had twice as many potatoes as last year, and the zucchinis were huge. my onions did well, the carrots did great. the celery and broccoli didn't do much. my herb garden did ok.we have great free range chicken and lovely big brown eggs. next year I want to have some pigs and ducks and a couple dairy goats. If I can figure out the dairy got thing I'd like to learn to make cheese and yogurt. the baby goes to day care from 10 til 2 when I pick him up. after that he is with me every step I take. he helps feed all the animals, he pulls the wood wagon, he throws scratch to the birds, he carries hay to the goats. he loves working with grammy. he has a little four wheeler to pull his wagon of wood, or buckets of feed, or veggies from the garden. he loves it.

There have been days in the very, very recent past (last week) where I could NOT get out of bed because I was so overwhelmed by all the stuff I needed to do that I didn't know where to start. It was positively paralyzing. This was on a Saturday, after I had been laid up for two weeks with a back injury and things were out of control. I hate being literally panicked by the onset of winter and so many things to do. It was tough to shake off, I don't know how i did it, but somehow you just have to quit obsessing and shake it off and do what you can.

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Rachel Haiku Heritage City Farm

Folks, Stress Will Kill You!
Do you really "Need all those Animals"? Do you Need them for the Profit, for the Food or for the "Status they Provide"?
Can you get rid of a few and still survive? Would you have Less stress if you had Less Work and More time to Rest? Is the Stress, on your Body, your Health, and your Well-being Worth what it's doing to you, your DHusband and your Relationship?

Noone can answer those Questions for you. Think about it, Please.
I'm not fussing at you.....just trying to help you Think.

__________________
Be Intense, always. But always take the time to
Smell the Roses, give a Hug, Really Listen, or
Jump to Defend your Friends & What you Believe in.
'Til later, Have Fun,
Old John

Don't feel alone. We are in the same boat with both DH and myself working fulltime and trying to make our small farm profitable so that one of us can stay at home to work it full time. We have a large mortage as well and both have to work off farm until it it paid down alittle more. With every payment or land payment is made I think we are that much closer. We do have jobs where we are home more than most we work 24 hrs on and 48 hrs off but it still seems like things still don't get done. Our children who are older don't care to help out much but they will lend a hand when needed. Hubby does most of the hard heavy work and I do most of the other in house work then we work together to feed or tend the gardens. He is great b/c he will come in and help with the canning b/c he likes to learn new things so I try to help him as much as I can as well. At the end of the day we are tired and feel like we could have gotten more done but I have learned to step back and say well we did get this done today and I may have to do it again tomorrow but it felt good to do it. That is important to stll enjoy what you are doing. When it is no longer fun or rewarding that is when it is time to reevaluate and maybe make a change in direction. It is ok to get frustrated I think we all do. Just step back, take a deep breath, and just take it one step at a time.

I think you are doing well to be doing what you ARE accomplishing. I can see how it gets overwhelming. For us, certain times of the year are harder than others.

Sometimes you have to streamline things to have them work. I like to think of my husband's grandmother and how they did so much on the farm without the labor saving devices we have now.

BUT: they didn't fix dinner when canning--You just had a biscuit leftover from dinner with a super big helping of whatever was currently being processed. Families (not speaking of your daughter, who I'm sure is pulling her weight by working or in school and you are lovely to help her) would help one another.

I read a great interview about some mexican-American families in California. All three had gardens, but each grew something the others didn't. When it came to put up the food, they all shared in the labor--and they split the jars of vegetables/meat. Same with tools. You sure are smart to be doing what you are with the neighbors--don't stop that!

Here's what I would tweak. While the little one is so small and needy (without another sibling to watch or occupy him) I'd cut out some things like making soap for a couple year. He won't always be so small and soon will be helping you pick in the garden

Plan to only go to the store once a month so you can get home faster. Same with granary. Let daughter pick up milk if she is out, but be more efficient with your time. Maybe this is the time to use the dryer, not hang out clothes.

Organize your barn so that chores are faster. Put feed exactly where needed in critter proof containers.

Those are only a few things I can think of. I know I learned tons of things on this board that help me be efficient. One thing that comes to mind is how to can faster by being efficient.