A "safe" place for us??

I am thinking you will be as safe in one place as another. I havent heard of too many race based lynchings anywhere in the US in the past fifty years or so. Are there still some ignorant people in the world? yep, and there always will be, which is why I never feel completely safe anyplace. I live in south central Ky, there are families here of all colors, some from families living here for many generations and a lot of folks "not from round here" and we all get along quite well, other than a few knotheads that cant seem to get along with anyone. If I were you I would select an area that meets your requirements and move there, live out your dreams, and enjoy life.

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"Nothing so needs reforming as other peoples habits." Mark Twain

I cannot believe I just read this. :appalled:

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"Nothing so needs reforming as other peoples habits." Mark Twain

Mellissa,

First let me say how very sorry I am that you, or anyone else, feels threatened because of their race. I'm white, so I certainly have never experienced your life saga.

However, having said that, I live in Middle Tennessee and I've never seen any racial hatred or malicious treatment of any particular race. I attend a church of about 250 people. We only have about six black families in our church, but there is no racial divide whatever.

There are racists and mean people everywhere. I've been a "Mick" all of my life, but fortunately, I've never experienced any genuine harm from folks who don't like me.

I hope you can settle into peace soon.

Tom in TN

This here is an excellent example of close minded classism, a close neighbor of racism.

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Flaming Xtian
I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
Mahatma Gandhi


Libertarindependent

Of course I'm white but SE AL where I live now seems much better than NC and GA were 20 years ago when I lived there. Also the racists here are mroe open about it so you usually know quicker.

Our towns are mostly mixed race. The city here does have a lot of de facto segregation- many white kids go to a private school making the public ones blacker than the population- but have not heard of any racist violence. Rurally there are less blacks- our school is an exurb/farmer area and only has 1-2 black families.

We are near a military base (otherwise I wouldn't be here!) and the military is very nonracist- there is a respect you will get from military and former military that transcends race and even gender until someone acts in a way to lose respect.

My fairly posh neighborhood (3 acre lots but out in the country) now has one black family. She tells me they had to leave my kids' school apparently due to racism- but what she left the school to address was that her son, who showed up for 11th grade, was a benchwarmer for the basketball team instead of star forward. I think if he had not been on the basketball team they might have stayed at our school. (Of course without him transferring to a local Xian school and being THEIR star forward he might not have gotten his basketball scholarship to college.) I dunno if that was racism- people who move (like us military) always have a hard time even getting their kids on some teams since they have not been working their way up since 5th grade.

One trucker neighbor let me know when I arrived his outlook ("Your moving company was all blacks, right? [then after my dead silence] Well I guess they have to make a living, too.") and a neighbor child thought my kid having black Ken marry white Barbie was eeeewww, but my 18 yo with my liberal outlook feels the teens all get along (though she had no black classmates at this school she and friends er sisters are now forming a mixed race sorority at Alabama).

Someone here assured me when I was concerned about moving here that my daughter would NOT be beat up (or her beau lynched) if she dated a black teen. I actually believe that now. Her best friend at HS prior to his move was an out gay if that tells anythign about how times have changed.

Anyway the intelligent folk do not show (and may not feel) racism and the redder necked folk do not all, and know it is rude to display it. And you surely won't be alone as a black homesteader or the only black family in the area- one or more of our neighboring farmers is black.

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US Army veteran, military retiree spouse, and military; civilian; British NHS; and VA doctor.

Wyoming! We just don't seem to pay much attention to those things.

Most wouldn't even notice, until you mention the fact your black.

A True Story

A nearby city, around 60,000 people. Lily-white homogeneous Northern Europeans. College town. The mush headed campus social engineers began to decry the lack of "diversity" in the area and decided that this just had to change.

The lobbied and advanced local politicians, wrote weekly screeds for daily opinions pages, filled city council meetings, etc.

They got their wish. The city Fathers, in their infinite wisdom decided that the best way to "diversify" was to build low income subsidized housing. The community is now diverse. It also now has gangs, street corner drug dealers, prostitution, and muggings.


Take away what you wish, but to me the lesson here is to not advance "diversity" by trying to attract the lowest common denominator.

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Flaming Xtian
I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
Mahatma Gandhi


Libertarindependent

Another vote for west Michigan...Vanburen County. It's a very agricultural area and the people, for the most part, are very friendly/accepting to everyone regardless of your background--there is actually a sizable AF population in the Bangor area. Plus you are right near Lake Michigan which is truly an amazing place to be.

I am constantly amazed at how people cannot see the racism in their own statements.

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Flaming Xtian
I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.
Mahatma Gandhi


Libertarindependent

I feel I have a smidgeon of experience with this. I was part of an African American family for 10 years, parented two kids and we lived in two states. (I lost that family in 2000).

Anyone who suggests that they should just "move anywhere because they should be welcome" clearly does not have a full grasp of the real division that still exists in this country, and knows not the tangible and knawing feeling you have each day-and-all day after you send your kid off to school knowing they could be possible target! (I'm still minority btw, of a different sort, and safety is always a BIG concern - so to the OP - Baby - I KNOW!

I would quickly scratch Idaho off the list. (There's a trial starting now over a suspect who tried to bomb the MLK walk in Spokane.) Too bad. That region of the country has a lot to offer.

If it were me, I'd pick a blue state, a progressive state and preferably, a wealthier state. I know this is stereotyping - and there are TONS of good folks outside of these perimeters, but if it were my kid - and it once was - this began our criteria. Contact other African American residents in that region, and ask them pragmatically.

Then, there's pretty much only one way to know how you'll be received. Go there for a visit. Talk with your future neighbors, eat in a diner, visit the school....on and on. Not the cheapest method, but perhaps the purest.

Best of luck.

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Look for incidents on the learning curve at: http://littlecricketchronicles.blogspot.com/

A former coworker just moved to the Great Falls area because her hubby is Air Force. She was quite nervous about the whole thing. However, she's been there about a month and a half and I think her only complaint is that there aren't as many places for her to buy clothes. She's a bit of a fashionista and has never lived in an area that didn't have some other black people in it!

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~TheMartianChick~

My latest novels:
Bystander: A Tale of the End of the World as SHE Knew It!

Christmas in Bystander & Other Village Tales

Coming Soon: A Slice of Heaven

You are human. That means you are going to meet some form of prejudice wherever you go. Black, white, Latino, Christian, homosexual or not, male or female, older or younger, grade-school education or "over-qualified", prejudice is everywhere.

YOU have to be able to resist the prejudiced individuals, and you want a community that resists the prejudice rather than allowing it to become entrenched. I can't tell you where to go, but since you will be moving I would strongly recommend that you filter the states and communities you are considering to look for maximum personal freedom, minimum governmental intrusion (including taxes and regulations on what you can do with your personal property), respect for basics (constitution, firearm friendliness, police service rather than police force, lower proportion of budget going to public masters/servants), and distance from major cities (smaller rural cities are okay - not ideal but maybe necessary).

Proximity to any major city is a red flag for anyone, as they'll serve as sources of infection (gangs, drugs, crime) for the areas around them. In particular, it seems that where there are LOTS of any group (ethnicity, religion, sexual politics) many of whose members are working hard NOT to assimilate into the community, you will have problems, development of ghettoes and gangs, riots, and potential for community backlash. I suspect that you in particular would be better off being one of a very few black families in a rural area that respects individual freedoms, than you would be near a large city with black ghettoes and gangs. Might take you and the community a while to get comfortable, but safe is another matter.

Any city over 100,000 population is bad; under 50,000 is better; 10,000 is enough to support most essential services; and even then you want to be tens of miles out. You don't want creeping suburbs or cruising criminals to take over your area. If you are near a city, try to choose college cities - their communities are more cosmopolitan, and their citizens more "small-L" liberal.

A generalization? Head north and west and stay out of the big cities. The big cities aren't safe for anyone.

Pam in Ky (Falmouth) you prove it is a small world as I drive through there every day on my way to Avondale. Yep, plenty of culture shock to go from cows, bluebirds and John Deere to running the gauntlet on crack alley.

As for the original poster, welcome to the show, glad to hear of somebody else making the move to a better way of living. All kinds of places to move to in this country. I just try to do my civic duty in warning folks away from KY. People die here on a daily basis. The taxes are cripling, there are a couple schools, or so I've heard. They grow tobacco in KY, and we all know how bad that is for a body. Some people talk all rosy about it, but I figure they haven't lived there long enough for it to have sucked the life out of them. I once heard a drill Sgt. in Ft. Knox say that KY didn't need gravity, that the state sucks so bad that it holds everything down in the dirt. And another thing. They have WALMARTS in KY, and if you read enough posts on this board you will find they're considered evil incarnate.

Anyway, like I was saying, there are lots of places you can move to and have a better life. I'd start with getting a good idea of what you want to do and then start looking. Me and the Mrs. used to take drives on our off days and look at land, check out the online MLS for an area and set up appointments. If this is what you want to do then jump on it while prices have dropped and your children are young enough to enjoy it. I'm thinking you won't be sorry for it.

Oh, one last thing comes to mind. Don't give up your dream on account of some folks giving bad information about moving. Sounds like they've given up or are too afraid to step out of their comfort zone. Don't be. I've heard it said it's the pioneers that take all the arrows. They are also the ones that get to see how wonderful the world can be outside of some cramped little corner of the world.

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"Only the rocks [and really embarassing moments] live forever"

"When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands..." tick-tick-tick

Well, around here, being black ain't special, since 54% of town's population is black. AND 37% of the county population is black. On the other hand, if you just want to settle for being a regular person, and ignore some other peoples BS about the south being unsafe, this is a mighty fine area. I never complain about being in the minority. However, it's hot, humid, and we got mosquitos, chiggers, and ticks. Land is reasonably priced though. Tradeoffs wherever you go.

Interestingly though I agree with you about big cities I find areas in the north to be as much or even more racially intolerant than the deep south. Racism of all types is everywhere but beyond that I think people tend to move where they feel they fit in and feel a common bond. Its sad though that anyone should feel physical fear moving into a particular area but anyone who doubts the sincerity or realistic attitude of the OP just isnt being honest. There are predominantly black areas I would feel fear moving to and feel I wouldnt be accepted and the OP is just voicing the reality she knows is out there or has experienced in the past. Things are changing but we arent there yet.

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www.salmonslayer-simplelife.blogspot.com

Ive noticed so many posts about your situation, and their views on it. Im amazed that nobody has asked you what Farming or homesteading or gardening skills you have. If you DO have these skills, FINE. If not, You need to be finding publications that can help you learn some of those skills. If not that, Maybe you can find out information on it through U TUBE ( I hate U TUbE LOL). U might try to find a community garden where you could work and learn. If you come out into the country, and you dont come ready to farm/garden/homestead, There will be detractors saying another bunch from the city has plopped down here and dont intend to do a thing. If you think just liveing in the country while working in town will get it. Your wrong. People have got to see some validation for your being out here. As many posters said, (If your a hard worker, then youll get along fine). That dont mean just the job in town. My boy I think has that problem. He works for a major food company in Tulsa. He gets alot of hours overtime. He thinks that once he gets home, hes done his days work. He wants a place outside of town, But he dont want to have to hardly do any work on it. Well, Hes still in town, AND I wager the only farm he ever gets is the same amount of ground I get when im laid out in the cemetery. I have a white neighbor next to me S And he is worthless. He only works on cars. Dosent have a garden, chickens. No animals other than a couple rideing horses they dont ride. Totally useless. When he moved here, it didnt bother him to come down here and borrow my tools. Dosent own a tractor. He even asked me to show him how to milk a cow, that he wouldnt milk after I showed him and he sold. I worked on a tractor that he had bought for free, just to see him have his own tractor, and he sold it.
Neighbor to the N of me next is black. They have a haying operation where they go out and find people who want their hay mowed, raked, and bailed. They have the equipment, trucks, trailers, ect. Once I got myself stuck in my bottom ground. It was getting kinda late. I went up and asked him if he could help me get out. Down he came, and got me out. Good people. Ive been to their place more than theyve been to mine. They both worked in Tulsa, but he fell and hurt himself, and quit and now just does the haying and some cattle he has with friends.

NOW. Can u see the difference between the 2. Can u see my openions of the 2? I appriciate a hard worker, I dont care what color he is. I think that most whites are that way. But, many of them have been colored by their parents and grandparents preconceptions, and in that they have a bit of Missorian in them. That is, they gotta be showed. IF?When, you DO find a place to move to. You are going to find that you have a huge gas bill getting to work you didnt have before. Coupled with that is the price of the place you buy. Your not going to have alotta extra cash to be buying stuff you need to garden/homestead/farm with. My suggestion is, If you can find a safe place to store stuff, start buying the hoes, rakes, schovels, posthole diggers, pry bars, spades, hand tools, wrench sets, pipe wrenches, saws, driolls, ect, ect, ect. And have that at least when you move out. Maybe get a large tiller, or a walking garden tractor, and put a new engine on it and get the equipment for it. That would about be all u needed to get in a good sized garden. Subscribe to free seed books. you can get their addresses on line, and I imagine can ask for them online also. U can eat fresh outa the garden for awhile, But, if your the determined woman u sound like, and with kids to help, Someday, you would be looking for canning jars, and supplies, canners, crocks, ect.
When I was a kid, back in the fifties, Mom didnt hardly buy any veggies from the store that I can remember. She canned hundreds of qts a year of sweet corn, that was just field corn, but it tasted great come winter regardless, Peas, beans, onions, potatoes, lettuce, cabbage, sweet taters, strawberrys, She would go out and visit her sisters in Witchita Kans and go out to the peach farms and pick a few bu at a u pick farm and bring them home and can them and make peach preserves. Of course, me and bro had to help her in the doing of it. We stomped tomatoes through that funnel shaped thing with little holes all round it for what seemed like forever. We hoed, and hoed, and hoed. Then at around the age of 12 thereabouts, they got us each a push plow. We thought we were really farming with equipment then.
Point is. U got kids. If you believe in teaching them about education as in books, Then, maybe, when you move out into the country, youll see the lack of REAL education you yourself have, and determine that your kids wont be that way. Kids want to learn, at least in their subconcious. Maybe their concious, which is alot closer to the actual doing of it isnt so thrilled. If you feel there a bother, and just try to do things by yourself, your excludeing them from as sure and good an education as if you never picked up a book. And, in this world today, Theres a world of collage grads that cant find a job digging a ditch. Theres book education, and theres work education. Both have their place. Neither should supersed the other.
Youll find that there will always be people who will help AS LONG AS THEY DONT THINK THAT THEY ARE DOING IT ALL BY THEMSELVES. Good luck.

BY THE WAY. What one poster said about Okla and Okla towns. Its true. Those towns are predomently black. I dont know what there crime rate is in those towns because of that, But There here.

Used to be, white people roundabout when, upon seeing a white family move out here, or wherever, Had the idea in them that they must be workers, or they wouldnt have come out here. That was 50yrs ago. NOW, White people know better. When I came here, I was the second person to move onto this ranch that the owner cut up and sold off in 20 and 10 acre farms. They were scared that I was just another white trash from Tulsa who would come out here, plop down and do nothing out here. Start stealing when times got hard, Borrow offa alla their neighbors the things they didnt have, and didnt intend to buy to live out here, and never return them, or return them broke, OR they would have to go get them themselves. Well, I proved them wrong. I am the only actual farmer for over 10 miles around. I have more machinery than anybody else for that distance also. I had the biggest garden on the state hwy I live on. I had more chickens and rabbits than anybody else around up until a few years ago, And I still got the largest number of rabbits. I have respect here, bought from the credentuals of hard work. Anybody/everybody appriciates a hard worker.

Sorry to offend you. The message was intended for the OP--who, if not a troll(as some have suggested), and if, quite sincere, will understand the implication of the FULL message and give me a PM. I will be happy to help. Real Estate agent, tour, visit and breakfast at church between services, lunch at Big Boy, etc, etc. On the lighter side, I do hafta mention one thing: down at the Teapot Dome, they don't have a TV. Every morning the boys are hasslin' each other so much, tryin' to out cuss, out lie, and outbrag each other, that Tim, the owner decided the program on the floor was so much better than any news channel on the screen, all for free.....

geo

See my reply to Yvonne's Hubby......

geo