Are you living in your dream or have you settled?

I think its all a matter of perspective and your expectations and outlook on life. I used to have a 3200 sq foot house with a pool, a Cadillac, bass boat, lots of toys, vacations to interesting places etc and was miserable and once I got divorced I found myself a single father of 2 boys and all of us living in an old commercial fishing boat and my only vehicle was a truck I started with a screw driver. But we were happy and we had a blast. When I met my current wife she was a single mother of 3 small kids who lived in a studio apartment and worked 3 jobs to get by...and she was a happy go lucky person and all of her kids were happy even though they had literally nothing. That was almost 2 decades ago and we have built our lives together and been happy wherever we have lived...and that included living on a sailboat, a small apartment, and our happy but very small home of 11 years prior to this one. But we shared a dream of having a big garden and some room for the dogs to roam and that morphed into "why not retire early, buy an old run down farm and have at least 5 acres" (neither of us had owned more than an acre previous). Our place is old and to others its run down but we have 12 acres and we never plan to leave. Money is tight but we are secure and our days are filled with doing the things we want to do. Others may look at us as being less than successful or having settled for our lot in life (we have actually had some friends and family throw pity at us as if we have fallen on hard times) but we think we are rich. We could be happy living in a tent but our place is home and a sanctuary from the chaos of the crazy world around us and we take great enjoyment from what we do have. Life is what you make it and you only get one shot so you might as well make the best of what you have and dont look back.

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long story. Ive settled. Money is the big issue right now.

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My wife and I both settled. Then divorced. Then, years later, we found each other.

We don't settle now.

Yep, in my case it is my DW who does not want to leave town and absolutely doesn't want to lose the security my job provides. Twice I have bought places out a ways with acreage hoping she would warm up to the idea of living more self-sufficiently in the country, and twice I struck out - sold the hundred acre mountain farm and am getting close to letting go of the four acres with Victorian tower house.

So I guess I have settled, but on the plus side I still have DW!

I'm happy with where I'm at and what I have in life however modest it may be, but if DH and I had more money we might be living somewhere else with more land....

I am living my dream for sure. Would be even nicer to have this place in the middle of 100s of acres, but the best we can hope for for now is that the 10 acre plots on all 4 sides will go up for sale at some point.

It's funny how so many people here have posted that the one thing they would want is more land. My fahter had 150 acres that he purchased in the early 80s; he sold it to the highest bidder after a nasty divorce. The one thing he regrets is selling that beautiful old farmhouse...

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"For if you start dancing on tables, fanning yourself, feeling sleepy when you pick up a book... making love whenever you feel like it, then you know. The south has got you.”

We are pursuing our dream. We haven't settled at this point but we're fully aware that we may have to settle in some aspects of the dream (financial wise) in order to make it a reality.

Actually, looking back at how the Dream has evolved since we first met, I suspect our dream has become more about the journey rather then the destination

Settled, and it haunts me every. single. day.

I knew what we wanted, but we settled, and only AFTER moving in did we find out it was in an HOA, and there were restrictions galore. Also after doing our taxes the next year and having our taxes tell us "oh hey, you get $8,000 for buying a house" did I regretfully find out I should have read the fine print - we're stuck here for 3 years unless we pay back the $8,000.

So I have the days numbered (literally), and we will move again, this time w/o settling.

Nah, I'm not settling. Would I do things a little different if resources -- money, time, labor, etc -- were no object? Who wouldn't? But life is good. Even when it's a struggle it's good. I don't feel like I've had to settle. I'm human. I want, but I'm fed and warm and loved and have people to love. I have a lot of wants and all my needs met. I live better than most of the world's population. How can I complain about that?

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“I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.” - E.B. White

I am not settling...my life is good...after driving home from work my farm brings me much happiness...I just wish I had more time to do the things I want to do to make it more productive.

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"If you tickle the earth with a hoe she laughs with a harvest."
- Douglas William Jerrold

Real is Beautiful -Sherry in Maine

I am 47

I am not settling either,..I love where I am and always have.Yes, I am living my dream,.. I am in awe when I go outside and see what all of our hard work has accomplished over the years. I have no need to go anywhere if I don't have to,..luckily to our low debt to income ratio I can stay at home and not work. In a few more years we will be debt free, and then DH can stay home and do what he wants also. Living the simple life is our dream and we have been doing it for awhile,..it will just keep getting better as we go along.

I liked reading all the posts. Felt sympathy for those who are not living their dream. I was a single parent most of my life. Mu ex did not pay child support so it was up to me to keep my boys fed, clothed and housed. It has been a struggle for so many years. I bought a small fixer upper on contract, then bought the 1/2 of block behind me on contract. It gives me 3 1/2 acres plus my old house which I and my brothers have been working on for years.
If I had a windfall I would buy a place out in the country but I am happy to have what I have and it is all paid for. There is no money, i live on a small social security check and there is usually more end of the month than there is money. I paid into SS since I was 14 so I know I earned it. I have lived TMEN life since 1977 and am good at it. When the SHTF I will be able to deal with it.
I thank God for all my blessings.

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Living the good life in Kansas.

Living my dream!

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Before you marry someone, ask yourself, "Will they be a good killing partner during the zombie apocalypse?"
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Well, I guess in the bigger picture, I've "settled", but for this moment, right now, I really am living the dream. Turns out I LOVE having a micro urban farm in the middle of downtown Anchorage, where I can walk to work, walk to restaurants and shows and museums, and am a hop skip and a jump from a farmer's market where I can sell all I can produce at a primo price.

Since we both still have to work outside of the home while we continue to learn the ins and outs of farming for income, I can't imagine a better scenario. With gas at $4.24 a gallon, we probably save hundreds of dollars a month on commuting costs and vehicle maintenance. Heck, even if we didn't work outside the home, just running errands and making runs to the feed store and hardware store was becoming cost prohibitive at a property we tried to make work last year. We spent so much on fuel that we didn't have nearly enough to improve the property to a point where it was useful to us.

So I guess we have settled because of money, but I'm very, very happy.

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Rachel Haiku Heritage City Farm

that is a loaded question.... Hard to live the dream when it keeps changing.

However I am certainly living closer to my current vision of the dream than I ever thought possible. First DW passed at a very young age from very rare form of Brain cancer. Left me with 3 young boys to raise. Oddly enough with the death of one dream another and more deeply rooted dream came to fruition. I met an amazing young woman because of the boys, who shares my love of the simple life and is willing to share the load to make it happen. I would never in a million years thought that I could have found someone so perfectly matched for me and my boys. So living the dream yes 1000%. Living the life we are content with, yes absolutely. Have more than I thought I ever would, without a doubt.

Working to get more land (out of California), learn more self reliance, become a better provider, remove my family from the trappings of current society yet further, have the resources to leave my 9-5 button down job and take the plunge? No, not YET!!! BUT it will happen.

I am living my dream for the time being but my husband's dream is more upscale.

Money is stressfully tight until we can get our Ohio farm sold. Due to job situations, we moved to our week-end house, a crooked old farmhouse in southern KY which we rent for $150/month with a handshake agreement that we can stay here at this price for as long as we want, and deduct improvements from our rent.

The neighbor plowed up our garden, there's a couple old apple trees, another neighbor cleaned out years of accumulated garbage from the root cellar, and we can pretty much roam all over the mountain. I had to relocate my business so starting over isn't so fun, especially at my age and health and I'm looking for a part time job, but my husband loves his so that's great!

My husband travels a lot for his job so for the time being, he's agreeable to me being comfortable since I'm home more. But there will be a time when he'll want a house that doesn't have sloping floors or where you can get to the bathroom without going through the enclosed back porch or where there's doors on the kitchen cupboards instead of curtains, or where the water heater isn't being held in place by the piping alone.

We had what was my dream in the last decade of my life - 10 acres and we built a house but it was too much for me. I filled everything with gardens and animals and quit my corporate job to work festivals and farmers markets.

Dreams change with circumstances. I'm not so young anymore and will have a much smaller place when it comes time to buy again. We'll see what happens when we have our finances straightened out. But for now, I'm really, really happy.

There's something about the way the mountains hug me that makes me know everything will be OK.

if i were suddenly filthy rich, i'd head west a bit more, to the black hills. but jobs aren't easy there, land is pricey if you can even find it, and it ain't gonna happen. i settle for visiting there once a year to paint the landscape.

BUT, where i am is nice. new house, nice barn, some good neighbors, good land, etc. so i think erin p. had a better word--compromise. i would love to be much much further from MIL and the other members of the 'nut squad', and closer to my own family. i would like to be a little closer to more things for my kids, like museums, and for me, art shows, etc. but, those can be gotten to by car, and for the rest, managed.

and where my place is located is where others come for vacation, its so pretty here! and i am doing all the things my dream involved with goats, gardens, horses and art. i would love to simply buy several acres all around me, i like that island feeling!

Halfway there. I can't move because dh is self employed, his business is here, and he needs to stay here or we have no income. Doing good though because the poor economy allowed us to buy a house here for almost nothing, and also a farm where we want to be for less than expected. When the kids are older we can sell the business and house and leave forever. Until then I leave for the summer and weekends. It's a happy balancing act.

settled but happy where Im settled

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Recognize the beauty in things, in creation, even when thats difficult to do.
Be loving, show compassion. Create while we're here.
Enjoy this life, be in this life but not be of it.

I don't know how to classify myself! I'm 34 and in Grad School amassing a huge debt, but knowing that God is in the midst of it and will make a way for me. It is hard to read so many of your stories of bliss, because I haven't found my bliss at all yet. I have a degree, and I work pt at an ok job, but it isn't that homesteading dream. I feel like I will have to settle for much less than what I would like to have. I'm trying to be realistic and look at my limitations. I have never really had much financially, have never been able to save anything, always struggled and borrowed from peter to pay paul. God has always made ways, but they have been small ways, just enough to get by and maybe do a little gardening. I struggle with thinking about my future based on past experiences. Past has really sucked, and don't know what my future holds, but that God is faithful!

PulpFaction...I'm glad you are still living in Anchorage!!! I thought about your story not too long ago and wondered if you were still there, as I can recall you wanting to head south fora bit a couple years ago. Have you been over to the University there? Ever meet David Stevenson or Aisha Barnes? They are currently professors there. He is a fiction writer, really good, and she works in education, teaching teachers or future teachers, I think. She competed in a triathalon! Cool cool people!

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