How can I convince my wife to start homesteading??

I hate to be a wet blanket but you can't. You can introduce the idea to her and show her all kinds of things but if she's not "into it" you won't change her mind. Think about a food you don't like. Not think of how someone could convince you that it taste really good. Not going to happen is it? No matter how much they tell you how good they think it taste, no matter how much they tell you how good for you it is for you and no matter how much they offer to pay you its still going to taste yucky to you.

Now with that said, it sounds to me like she doesn't hate the idea she just isn't sure about it. If that's the case then you can follow the advice others have given you. Good luck.

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the police are just MINUTES away!

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You can not change people. She doesn't want to homestead. Nagging her and trying to trick her is going to make her more hostile to the idea, not bring her around.

I can't think of any reason why she would object to your growing some veggies. So do a nice garden. Just don't expect her to work in it.

From a woman's perspective, I know that it is absolute truth that when a child or a husband begs for a dog and swears they will take care of it, that by the end of the first week, caring for the dog is Mom's job. Your wife does not want to take care of a garden or take care of chickens. So if you start a garden, you'd better follow through to the end and never ask her to take over, nor allow it to die or get weedy from neglect.

Your wife does not want or need to have you find more work for her to do.

If you keep a lovely productive garden, and don't expect her to do extra work, she will eventually agree to a couple of egg layers, as long as you take care of them.

As for a family small holding, it can work just fine if the hubby does all the outside work and the wife does the inside-the-house work. Not the very best option, but it can be made to work.

As for a piece of land, you can always point out that she will have enough privacy to lay out in the back yard to tan without the neighbors ogling her. If she is a genuine big city girl, she is probably not going to like country living.

One thought (like the other posters have said, it will take time): "woo" her. Romance her. If she'll go camping, make it as romantic - according to what you know SHE finds romantic - as you can. Same with all the rest. Be sweet. Involve her in some homestead-y activity she wants to do and make it fun. Praise her to your friends about it where you know she can hear, "Well, my wife did thus and so. She's amazing." Ask her opinion, e.g., after you grow what she likes, ask her how she'd like it prepared/preserved. Then follow through. The idea is to provide her with positive experiences and fond memories of doing homestead stuff with YOU . It can be fun for both of you even if she's not totally on board.

You'll find great advice here on HT. I have been so encouraged by HT folks. We have come from a totally "normal" suburban lifestyle where I was working, working, working to pay, pay, pay to living a semi-extended family setup. We have a little land and are learning to garden, compost and do things for ourselves. When we can sell our former "dream home," we'll finish getting out of debt and choose something debt-free with more acreage. This process is like coming home for me, DH not so much. I do most of the work but he is encouraging, and we are so pleased with ourselves when we DO accomplish a project together that you'd think at that moment we had invented marriage, lol.

Do take the "wooing" one step at a time. You may be surprised at your own stumbling blocks as time goes by - it's easy to blame lack of progress on the "poky" partner. Best wishes for finding a nice property and for winning your wife's admiration for your efforts.

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The three divine teachers of man: worldly calamity, bodily ailment, and unmerited enmity, and there is but through God alone a deliverance from them. Maine Farmer's Almanac

Our homesteading "bible" is John Seymour's "Self Sufficient Life and How to Live it".
It's a fascinating read, full of practical hands on advice, and is so full of homesteading projects and pursuits that my one lifetime is probably not long enough to try them all.
Everything from hydro-electric power to brick making to tending a garden and raising and butchering livestock.

Another great resource is Carla Emery's Country Living book. Chock full of useful advice

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"Perhaps I'll have them string a clothesline from the hearse I am in, with my underwear waving in the breeze, as we drive to the cemetary. People worry about the dumbest things!"
by Wendy

Welcome to the forum. As to convincing the wife, there is no way. I grew up on a ranch, the DH in the city. Well, we do live on a small farm. We have goats, sheep, chickens, ducks, cats, dogs, and cattle. We also have a 1/3 of an acre garden and an orchard. I take care of most everything, related to the animals. He tills (he likes using the tractor) and plants the garden and I water it. We both harvest along with the grown kids. My advice, start out slow, and you get to take on the all chores, until the wife/husband comes around (that may never happen). I'm now looking into bees, DH says, you know they are classified as animals. LOL

Your motivation for homesteading sounds very similar to mine. My advice would be to do the best you can WITH WHAT YOU HAVE.
You have a wife who is totally not into this. Respect that. There are many ways to homestead that can work around that. I echo folks that have recommended doing those things that she feels closest to, never push anything onto her, and take lots and lots of time... think of it as similar to courting a girl who doesn't yet realize that you're the one for her... she must never know until she's in too deep.

Suffice it to say that rabbits were unfortunately vetoed in my household... still working on bees and chickens

I like Grit most of the time as well as Country Side. I pick up Grit if it has something interesting but I subscribe to Country Side.

Joe Salatin's books are good for motivation.
Martha Stewart's gardening book is acutally what got me into gardening (of all things!)

You might look up blogs on the web too - lots of people doing this and some have very nice blogs! Check the signature lines of the folks here - they link to their blogs.

I just watched on Youtube - "Victorian Farming" - they were very interesting and showed a lot of what going into farming/raising your own animals. Not sure it would inspire the wife.....but you never know!

I want to add also that make sure she sees you're happy at what you are doing. SAY it. Women usually like that. I don't ever ask DH to help unless it's something that I can't lift, move or figure out. He is always willing to assists. The key word is ASSIST. He will NEVER weed the tomatoes! But - tomorrow he will milk the cow for me so I can take some church kids to a dance. We've come an awfully long way! Maybe you need to find a place with a small lake/pond?

Do you have a porch where you can grow upside down tomatoes, or strawberries in pots? A container to grow lettuce and spinach? Things she would enjoy that you could take care, of but she can see the benefits of immediately without having to step foot into the garden.

Start buying locally from farmers, road side stands or farmers markets. Let her taste the fresh produce and locally raised meat, and enjoy the difference.

Can you make bread? The smell of home made bread is heavenly and with fresh flour and yeast it is very easy to do. There is a whole cooking forum that you can explore on here as well as a gardening forum.

I haven't baked any bread yet but I want to.... Possibly this weekend I'll give it a shot... Any suggestions on a receipe for whole wheat bread?? Do tomatoes grow better in the hanging basket haven't tried that??

Ding!....Marriage hell on the farm aint no picnic..........

Do you live on a place now where you can have chickens and bees?
If not are you planning on moving to a place that has some land?

If you are moving to a "farm" make sure she likes the house and backyard area. Other than that leave it alone. Do all the homesteading yourself and call it good. I do it all here pretty much alone, that includes 35 goats, a dozen chickens, half a dozen guineas, 2 LGD and etc. My son will help me if I need to get hay, my daughter will help me hold goat kids that need banded, but other than that it is me.

My husband wants nothing to do it any of it. If I want help I have to ask for it, so I do not. He however has warmed up very well to the goats personalities and likes to pet them and hang out with them for a bit. He refused to eat duck eggs, does not really like to eat the chicken eggs, but I refused to buy store bought ones so if he wants eggs he has to suck it up and eat one that came out of my chicken's cloaca and not a carton!
He will not drink goat's milk, etc etc. He likes the house, and such so he is content to be inside on the computer or whatever. The kids and I like to be outside wether it is with the animals or not.

So if she likes the house and her little yard area the rest of what you do on the property should not matter. Find something that makes each of you happy, you homesteading and her what she likes. Share joint things you both like and do not try to force homesteading on her. Maybe she will come around maybe not.

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Hello from NY. Welcome. I would say just let her be herself. However, dont let that stop you from having the homestead. Life is tooo short. You should be able to find a place with both worlds (your wives and yours). My farm is 2 miles out of town. No neighbors! yet 2 miles from a beach on a little lake. Its so convenient to toss the kayaks in the truck and hit the beaver dams on the lake.

Whatever you do dont start with butchering chickens...lol they jump all over after ya cut there head off!!! spewing blood on everything...lol What woman couldnt resist baby chicks! or little ducklings playing in a kiddie pool. they follow you all over the farm.

Homesteading is very fun and rewarding. Just be happy you found your calling and go for it!

there is always the compost heap but i kid

her own pool .. good idea and it cant be clorine cause thats bad for her hair and skin maybe use the pool as rain water catch.. and use the pool water to water the garden lolz

I think you are getting some good advise as well. My wife is the same way and at first I tried including her in everything, and soon realized that wasn't going to happen. I do as I please now and she doesn't know anything about it. Little by little she is slowly coming along and I just continue to expand the chickens, the garden, and am now starting a 1/2 acre market garden. I apologize for sounding harsh with this sentence, however, I have never seen so many people in my life that are so out of touch with what they eat, wear, drink, and even watch on tv. You will not change her ever, it wont happen. Let her just sit back and watch the fun you are having and if she is interested, great, if not, oh well.

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Matthew 18

LOL that thought has crossed my mind a time or two

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Matthew 18

Welcome and good luck! I am in the same boat my wife has no intrest in farming what so ever. I am very lucky because my father and I have a dairy farm about 5 miles away from our house so my animals never bother her. She likes the beef, pork and eggs but really doesn't care for the animals that much, well excepts for the ham, she won't eat it because "thats not what it is like from the store." Every spring she tells me not to p[lant a garden we are too busy, I work 80 hrs a week she works 24 and we have 3 kids. Last year my tiller died so I rented one and sent her to get the plants from the nursery she came home with SOOOOO much stuff she had to have I needed a shoe horn to get it in the garden. She acually helped out this summer too, she not so much for the weeding but she does most of the canning/freezing. I suspect in time she will come around to other things too. SMall steps and I bet she comes around.

When you look for your next home, watch out for zoning! In most cities bee hives are allowed but not all of them, and chickens are allowed in only a few.

My family is just not interested in homesteading, and I have not changed that. On the GOOD side, we have a small flock of laying hens, we usually have bees, we used to cut Christmas trees on our own land ($1.50 each as seedlings, then grow them), and none of them object to berries and home made bread (or home made sweet rolls).

In fact, DH helped me find this property. That way he got to have what he values most: a great road to the city so that he has an easy commute!

Oh, well. The eggs are great, the honey is to die for, the vegetables are sweet and good, I had enough apricots this year to dry some, and I am cutting up weed trees from the fence line this winter for firewood for the fireplace. Life is good!

I did sound out the family on home-raised meat but the response was "Ewwww", so, I give away any extra roosters that the hens produce. This is easy: I post a notice on the bulletin board where I buy my feed.

I would LOVE! to have a pair of nigerian goats for milk, but I cannot: zoning is a problem with that!

I never did convert my husband to homesteading but he is happy living here because it is home, and he has never objected to eating the honey whole-wheat bread, blackberry pie, or omlets!

If u get a baby goat, I suggest getting 2 or better 3. They like their own companionship alot, and feel lonely when they dont have it. You 2 would leave a baby goat alone more than you think you would, and it might waste away. 3 will be much more fun for you 2 and themselves. Somebody for them to constantly play with. NEXT. As your trying to gear up into homesteading. Id suggest buying a meat breed, Nubian, or Togg,, but I guess Saanan would be good also, and I have no doubt there are other excellent milk type breeds to get into. I would also get into rabbits. Find a farmers market where they sell livestock, and go to it LONG before you have rabbits to sell yourself. Raise the babies up and breed them and let them drop and wein them and sell mother with young. Your not eateing them, youve had them long enough to get used, to them, and haveing gone to the auctions had plenty of times to see them bought and sold, and she may feel the desire to be a seller. It causes a feeling of achivement of purpose. A feeling to grow, expand. Good luck. I tried to change my wife s 3 times. Didnt work.

Be sure that he area that you buy in will allow chickens. Some municipalities wont.

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I yam what I yam and that's all what I yam.

Popeye

Your wife loves you for who you are.

Just do homestead things and invite her to join sometimes. She may not have the urge like you do, but she will see the fruits of homesteading. Gardens are great as you can eat what you grow.

Be gentle, not demanding. She will let you be a homesteader and may get to like it herself IMHO. SRM