How can I convince my wife to start homesteading??

For the most part, I'll just echo everyone else.
Starting with throwing out the use of words like "homesteading."

I've never called what we do "homesteading." We garden, can, grows eggs, cattle, have no running water at the moment, etc.
It's just "life."

We started with a garden because that's just what grown-ups do when they have a house. lol A few years later, I started canning that garden. (On the years the hoppers didn't get it, that is!)
I like having laying hens around, but I if we ever get to where we eat them, I'll take them up town to the local packer. They'll process them for me. (I HATE processing chickens!!)
And so on.

Start slow and easy so your wife doesn't HAVE to be on board.

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~*~Erin~*~
SAHM, ranch wife, sub and quilt shop proprietress
the Back Gate Country Quilt Shop

Sounds like you are already headed in the right direction! We're already on the same page as a family, but it's taken years for extended family members to come around. You're fortunate to be a part of HT, where you'll get plenty of support and encouragement, which will enable you to continue being patient and considerate of your wife.

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I am with you on that! It is one thing to do one or two birds, quite another to do a hundred!

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Trish

Seriously, I am COMPLETELY dressed!

Just keep moving...just keep moving!

First off--welcome to the forums.

I expect one thing you need to do is ensure your wife that living a homesteading or country lifestyle does not mean that one has to give up modern bathroom facilities, electricity, etc. She may think that homesteaders are all the pioneer type of the 1880s or whenever. One needs to stay within their comfort zone whatever that may be for the family/individual.

If you can take a trip away from the city lights and at night look up and see the billions upon billions of stars it might really grip her to try something new.

Has she ever had the opportunity to sit around a camp fire?

I read a few years ago about the missed opportunity of city kids/folk and had really never thought much about it before as many of us take things for granted. There was some program that brought city kids to rural areas so that they could experience a wiener roast over an open camp fire, see starts, camp out, go fishing, etc.

Best wishes. Expect it takes one small step at a time and your are headed in the right direction.

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My family---bEI

Welcome! I love this place!!

Me too, hence why I love this place!!

Fine, she doesn't have to be interested.
How did your garden go last year? How big was it? What did you grow? Did you keep it weeded, and 'kept' looking? Did you prepare meals with you bounty? How did she like it?
So if you expand this year, great, so long as last year was not overwhelming. If you moaned and complained, or begged for her help, don't expand. Master a small size then grow (BTDT)
IF you can expand, buy a dehydrator, and a water bath canner. Master the ground before you start messing w/ animals.

Let her see you 'enjoying' the garden, and the fruits of it.....year round.
Let her see your effort.
Do very little talking.......except where there is ANOTHER salmonela outbreak, or when another food plant is fined out the wazoo for filthy conditions, or another mad cow out break happens.....then let her read about it.

I recommend you start a subscription to BackWoods Home Magazine.
Go to the library and check out every issue they have on hand and bring them home and leave them in places that are not TOTALLY obvious (like taped to the mirror) but places where she may look.

Move slow........
It has taken me 7 years to get "this close" to getting chickens. Dh thinks I am looney tunes.....but slowly, is starting to see, I am not as 'cracked' as he thought.

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I am sure of two things: There is a God, and I am not Him.
The movie Rudy

First wife no way was she going to live out on the farm, second wife married me knowing I lived on the farm and loved it. Last Thanksgiving we were having our family dinner, both wifes present and I asked her if we had not split recon where we would have been now, 1st wife said you sure would not have been on that God forsaken farm. my advice find one that is a homesteader.

ok you are looking to buy a piece of propety, the first thing is to not try to change your wife or convince her but stand your ground on the purchase of a piece of property that will meet your needs and hers.

YOU are the one that wants to be doing the homesteading not her, so do it...she can't stop you..but you also can't force her to do some things she doesn't want to do..

i have a mentally and physcially disabled husband who does next to nothing around here and I have to mostly care for him as well as the property..but that doesn't keep me from doing most of the things that I want and can afford to do on my own..

it is your choice to do homesteading if you want to..the depth you do it will be what you are able to do on your own and should she join your efforts..bonus..but you married her and don't want to be trying to change her now..allow her to change on her own if she wants to..but other wise accept her for the woman you married..

i really don't like it when people think they have to change people to be the way they want..i can't change my disabled husband but I can change my self and my attitudes..

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Brenda Groth
http://restfultrailsfoodforestgarden.blogspot.com/

Recently I asked my wife to define "homesteading"..her idea was no electricity,no running water,living as the pioneers did a couple hundred years ago.Is this what your wife thinks too? My wife doesn't think of us as homesteaders, I do. We live in a small town inside the city limits,but we have 3 different garden spots and a flock of chickens.I've planted fruit trees,grapes and blueberries.I believe homesteading is a state of mind,not a set of rules carved in stone.Try "self sufficiency" rather than homesteading,that might make it easier for her.Find a couple issues or subscribe to Countryside magazine and Backwoods Home,I personally prefer these to Mother Earth News.But as others have said,you can't make her see as you do,but you can lead and she may or may not follow.Good luck in your new lifestyle.

I agree with all the posts that say stop talking about Homesteading -it all sounds too serious and intimidating to someone who is on the outside. Hardly anyone fails to be excited at getting their first eggs from a chicken or eating fresh-picked lettuce and tomatoes. It took my husband at least ten years to want to join in what I do. I just started off with a few chickens, a few vegetable beds and small things that I could handle, only asking for help in an emergency. Now, if you could see him drenching sheep, looking at them with a stockman's eye, putting up fencing and so on, you'd think it couldn't be the same man!

first we need more info on the wifey and her "vision"
big heart? get her to fall in love with the cute little poof ball chicks and find the friendliest breed possible. down side getting her to eat her best pet.
most people(women) wont go for eating cute fluffy bunnies.

always bring up the latest poisoning from food factories and E coli laced spinich and that most "organic" food in the grocery comes from the big "three" food factories and that spraying sludge on USDA organic is A ok with no dioxin testing. wow, dear you wont believe what i just read....

last option if yoou cant help her trade her in JK .. kind of, how happy will you be with some one that doesnt share views with you and vica versa

PS if there are kiddos involved use them here "kids have some spinich salad .. mm wifey i hope that batch isnt laced with ecoli. oh well eat up kids there is only 20%? chance you will get sick.. want seconds?"

If my husband tried that constant repetition on me it would push me the other way!

Welcome to the forum.

I was you several years ago - roles reversed. DH is the city boy. He didn't want to do more work. So, I did it. I have always had a garden. With each move, the garden got bigger and bigger. I canned more and more. What I couldn't grow, I bought at the Farmer's Market. We still did (and do) grocery store stuff too. I think his biggest fear was that he would have to change! And he did- he just doesn't know it. Teeny little steps. He hasn't had a store-bought canned pear in 6 years. He had one for lunch at work the other day and reported that it was 'nasty'. When I first canned green beans - he said they tasted too green and wouldn't eat them. Now, at pot lucks- he asks if the green bean dishes look like they are home grown. Fortunately, he has supported me at every turn. I am a Stay-at-Home mom so I depend on his paycheck to finance my ventures. It has never been an issue. I have been given every freedom to pursue whatever.

In short (which I am not good at). I didn't try to change him. I didn't ask him to change. It just happened. We now live on 7 acres. I have a milk cow, sheep, chickens, huge garden, orchard, berries. He is currently rebuilding a tractor for me. You may never see your wife evolve to this point, but you can see changes. Just be willing to do all the work yourself. Refer to it as your hobby. Enlist the comments of friends by making and sharing jams, bread, etc. Their comments will go a LONG ways since part of the wife's issues might be how it will look to others. Who wants to me married to a guy going off the deep end?

I do agree that you should be able to buy a piece of land if you can afford it. Don't go for much at first - maybe an acre or two. Living too far out is hard on some. It's too much of a change. Baby steps. If you want it- be willing to do the work. If she isn't into home butchering (we aren't either) pay someone else to raise that chicken for you.

Good luck!

The best way is to start to start with food for hard times. Work at it backward. Once she learns that the piece of mind of having food stored and ready all the time and not going to go to the store every day to get what she needs for that day. Start with going to the store once a week then when she is OK with that go to the store for one month. To do this you will need a garden to supplement the fresh vegetable. And things will fall into place for Homesteading. Not all people have Chickens or Rabbits to start out with. You will need to start slow and don't press your luck and drive her away.

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God must have loved stupid people because he made so many of them.

She has a huge heart... and as for her "vision" I guess I would say the typical city/subarban vision.... Go to work come home eat diner watch tv go to sleep.. go shopping on weekend... Summer time she loves going to beach and laying out getting a tan. Likes to travel. Doesn't enjoy being "outdoors" except for the beach or by a pool.... Tried to get her to go camping but she wasn't trilled but she was willing to go for me as long as the campsite was close to a beach (never got the chance to go, hopefully this year)....

I am gonna go with the majority of you and I'm gonna take baby steps.... Each year try to grow more veggies and fruit... start canning and maybe eventually get some chickens for eggs and possibly meat.

Thanks again for all the info and advice.

I told her my New Years Resolution this year was to become more Self Sufficent and she was all for it but I dunno maybe she just said that thinking I wouldn't follow through with it like most Resolutions.

Get her a bottle baby. Baby goat or lamb would be great. Women tend to be more emotionally centered than men. Also, try to do activities with her out in the country like hiking, canoeing or 4 wheeler riding. Make comments to the effect of how peaceful, beautiful, etc it is here.

Yes I know, I'm sneaky

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Compromise and put in a swimming pool with a nice lawn chair for her between the garden and the chicken pen!

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I don't have much to add. I agree that if she doesn't want to homestead, she doesn't want to and you won't be able to make her.

I also agree with the baby steps. Just supplying wonderful vegetables and fruit (be sure to ask her advice on her preferences - at least she will be invested that far then) will go a long way. Canning, freezing and dehydrating the garden's bounty not only saves money, it also tastes SOOO much better and is so much better for you. I am sure she will go for that, as long as you don't expect it to be her doing theplanting, weeding, canning, freezing and dehydrating while you do the "growing".

A *few* laying hens (3-6) are very entertaining and the eggs are wonderful. Furthermore - if you get a gentle breed such as Buff Orpingtons they can get pretty tame. Meat chickens are much less fun and she may not want to eat something she has known personally. I agree with whoever it was said very few city gals and kids want to eat the cute bunnies when they have cuddled and spoiled them for weeks... Oh - not many creatures are as cute or friendly as a baby milk goat (just a hint, LOL)

My DH could be your wife <G> - he would be perfectly happy living in a condo in the middle of town, never seeing a green thing ever. He helped build the hoop house and will help me re-skin it at some point soon, but that is as close to gardening as he has ever gotten. He does not even check on, let alone feed or water, the critters (though he did build their shelters and string the fences). He built me a chicken plucker but that was his sole contribution to the chickens in the freezer. He does not want to meet any of the meat until it is on his plate.

I think you have to approach this as *your* hobby, and hope that she eventually gets interested. Do what you can comfortably do without her helping.

Mary

I to would like to welcome you and praise you for your steps toward self-reliance. One of the biggest hurdles my wife and I have to tackle even still after 5 years of trying to become more self reliant is the VACATION. My wife is one of the most supporting and charitable people you would ever meet; however, she wants atleast a weeks vacation and for us to travel somewhere every summer. Even if we lived in the city, I still wouldnt look forward to going on vacation, that's just the way I am. She has supported me, been a great wife and tremendous mother for 23 years and deserves the vactions so it's a trade-off I willing to make. If you get animals, they must be tended and its hard to find someone to do that for us even out here in the middle of a rural area. I agree with everyone's suggestion to ease her into it without her even knowing it so to speak, I just wanted to share the one area of concern I face every year.

Brad

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"Seek first to undersand, not to be understood"
http://richheritagefarm.blogspot.com/

Being diagnosed with cancer at 23 is what changed my life. But, I wouldn't recommend that route. Good luck! You sound very patient. I hope she comes around for you, or you at least find a way to make both of you fulfilled.

Sneaky, yes, but bottle baby goat.....

No one can resist those.

Welcome, and good luck. You've gotten some great advice here.

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