Demanding attitude of some people, slightly annoying

Belfrybat · #41 09/26/10, 07:28 AM

We had a thread on here a week ago (or so) about a perceived increase in "entitlement mentality". I have seen an increase in that in the past couple of years. I particularly see it at the food pantry where we give away FREE food to those in need. The folks who have been coming for years are appreciative of what we have to offer as they know it is all purchased through donations. Some even help fill the boxes. A few of the newer ones coming have a completely different attitutude -- like "you are here to serve me". We have gone from serving 40 family units a month to over 70, so our resources are stretched to the max and we've had to cut back on the amount of food we can give out. But its still a lot: each box contains enough basic food to feed someone for a week. But it's amazing how often someone will say they need two boxes and become angry when we can't comply. Gratitude certainly seems to be getting in shorter supply these days.

fishhead · #42 09/26/10, 07:34 AM

I think he was just testing the limits on you. He probably goes through life demanding things and it works enough of the time that he keeps doing it.

Some shooting practice would probably help him figure out the limits.

dixienc · #43 09/26/10, 07:46 AM

We had a neighbor in is his 40's this early spring stop over while we were out doing some work in the yard on the equipment, and out of the blue he asks for a few rabbits. I said no, I don't have any to sell. He says I'm not buying them from you, just give me a few you have running on the ground, the fat ones! I said no again. He then goes across the property to where my hubby is and says the same thing to him, but tells him I said it was ok?!? My hubby told him to ask me, LOL. Well, he didn't like that answer and then asked him for a few hens. Hubby said ask her....then the guy says.....you don't mind if I take one of the sheep right??? At that point my husband yelled for me and walked away from him. Very creepy feeling to have someone act that way right in front of you. I know this guys family very well, and they are not hurting for food at all, and he is retired military and on disability so money is there. Don't know what he was thinking.

Lyra · #44 09/26/10, 08:06 AM

This type of behavior doesn't surprise me at all. I get this attitude everyday at work. You should hear how complete strangers talk to me. Part of it is the entitlement mentality and part of it is the lack of morals that has taken over society. The behavior is so bad that we have a saying around the office that 5% of the customers are actually good people and the rest are scum.

I agree with the other posters. Watch out for that guy.

Rick · #45 09/26/10, 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paintboy

It also means he has taken stock of everything else you have.

One sure way to scare him off would be to tell him that he can do some work for a few chickens.

Nope. Not here. He would ask to use the bathroom. 10 minute intimidating staredown? I'd be target practicing.

JasoninMN · #46 09/26/10, 08:33 AM

I don't see anything too odd about this except for the fact that he didn't have a fit, say "this is unacceptable" 20 times and ask for your supervisor.....lol

Every body wants something for free!

Kshobbit · #47 09/26/10, 09:10 AM

This whole idea that as homesteaders, we owe the nonworkers, the fruit of our labor. I do fear that when the economy gets really bad and food prices get really high, there will be more and more who will expect us to carry them through the hard times. There will be those that ask and those that take without asking.

Common Tator · #48 09/26/10, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliaAnn

I'll buy some D cells for the infrared game camera too. Got just the place to put it too. I love that game camera. It's already done duty in helping to capture an image of a young hispanic gang member that tried to break into my grandmother's house about a year and a half ago. But I never did get the little picture card thing back from the police (;^)

Good thinking! I was going to suggest a game camera, but you are all over it already.

Lyra · #49 09/26/10, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kshobbit

This whole idea that as homesteaders, we owe the nonworkers, the fruit of our labor. I do fear that when the economy gets really bad and food prices get really high, there will be more and more who will expect us to carry them through the hard times. There will be those that ask and those that take without asking.

That thought crosses my mind quite often. You see how a person reacts to not getting their way on silly things and then you consider how this same person would react over not getting a necessity. I believe it will be similar to the chaos of the zombie movies. I'm leaving the city.

Use Less · #50 09/26/10, 11:11 AM

Nobody has quite said that the leaning on the fence & staring part is really threatening behavior. He might not steal the chickens, but what else might he do to you, yours, your stuff to "get even for YOUR bad attitude"? I would make a call to the local police or state troopers to advise them of this person's behavior towards you. Be calm & informative, but get a record of the incident. If you felt frightened (I would have), say so. Sue

stickinthemud · #51 09/26/10, 11:18 AM

I agree that JuliaAnn was right to just keep mowing & ignore the guy. Definitely need to keep a close eye on things, and try to talk to the neighbors (parents) in a casual "odd thing happened the other day" way. I hope this is the last you see of him.

JuliaAnn · #52 09/26/10, 11:51 AM

Thanks to everyone for the input. From the little I've seen of this guy, he's an oddball for sure. In his 40's, and I am guessing owns nothing but a motorcycle because he has moved in with the neighbors. IMO men that age should have their own home, job, etc., and not be an accessory to another man's family that way.

As I said, I didn't feel threatened, and I don't know why he stood there watching me, can't say it was a 'stare down' because I certainly wasn't staring back. Who knows, the guy's bobbin probably isn't wound tight enough.

I have some errands in town to do tomorrow, so I'm going to stop by the bus yard where the neighbor works and speak to him briefly about it, just say the boyfriend was asking me to give him some birds and I said no, and he acted exasperated about it and didn't immediately leave, etc etc. I have no problems with the neighbor--he and his wife have never caused problems for us or anyone else that I'm aware of. The husband seems pretty easy going.

I helped with our church's food pantry back when we were doing it (have since stopped, unfortunately). I have to say most of the people were really good about what they received, and most were helpful, patient, and decent folks. My heart ached for the older people--those who had SS but just couldn't make ends meet and needed some help. They felt badly sometimes, I could tell. Which is what would make me mad (yes, a few times I got mad over it) when someone would come in with an attitude that they needed more than what was being given out, or that they didn't like what was in the box, etc. One young woman said that they wouldn't eat certain things in the box and would throw them away. I really wasn't happy about that, and it took a lot of personal restraint to keep from telling her that other folks would be very happy to have what she thought was fit to throw away. But I kept my mouth shut, in the hope of trying to help this young woman and her children.

I too have thought that, if something catastrophic and long term really did ever happen, a person would be hard pressed just to keep their chickens in their back yards. Zombies or not, I think there would be some truly desperate people who would recognize a chicken when they saw it, and think 'chicken dinner' and try to set about catching, killing, and trying to clean and cook one.

copperkid3 · #53 09/26/10, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliaAnn

I too have thought that, if something catastrophic and long term really did ever happen, a person would be hard pressed just to keep their chickens in their back yards. Zombies or not, I think there would be some truly desperate people who would recognize a chicken when they saw it, and think 'chicken dinner' and try to set about catching, killing, and trying to clean and cook one.

************************************************** ******
'When' times get hard (and they are fast approaching), those have-nots that come out from
the inner cities and still have that entitlement mentality will be hungry......
very hungry,
as the gooberment hand-out programs will have long since gone belly up. They will probably
not have been involved in the Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts and therefore, have no idea how to
start a fire unless it's using a Bic lighter to touch off a gasoline-soaked rag, stuck inside the
neck of a glass bottle holding a flammable liquid.......hence, more than likely, they'll eat it raw.......
perhaps without even cleaning it first!!!

That 'boy' is a few slices shy of a full loaf and I'd definitely keep my eyes and ears open and
aware of your surroundings from here on out. Pass the word along to the neighbors and
local law enforcement, so that a 'record' is made of the "situation" in case anything ever comes of it.
You've got some good advise from the rest of the group here; please be careful and hunker down for the long haul.

**Shrek** · #54 09/26/10, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliaAnn

Neighbor on one side has a daughter who has a boyfriend. They apparently know I keep poultry because as I was cutting grass today, the boyfriend appears out of the woods on their side of the fence and waves his arms to get my attention. So I turn off the mower and he asks me if I will give him some of my chickens. I was kind of taken aback, because I don't know this person, and I barely know the daughter of the neighbors. And I dont really know the neighbors all that well, to be truthful. I told him I didn't have any that I wanted to sell, maybe in the spring but not right now. And he actually *says* to me, 'no, not sell them to me--let me have them'. I just stood there blinking for several seconds, not quite sure how to respond. I knew what I *wanted* to say, but instead chose to say "No, sorry, I just can't give away my birds. It costs too much feed and time caring for them to just give them away'. As I was about to start the mower again, he says something about 'they're just chickens' and that I had too many anyway. ??? I just said no, sorry, have a nice afternoon, and started the mower and kept mowing. He stood there with his arms on the fence for several minutes, like nearly 10 minutes, it was odd. I never looked at him again, just kept mowing but I could see him in my peripheral vision. He finally wandered back thru the woods toward their house.

It must take a LOT of gall to just demand someone give you something, and then be so snippy and petulant when they don't give in!!

We have lived here nearly 30 years, and have had just a few problem neighbors over the years, but thankfully they were semi-transient types who eventually moved on. We have a group of neighbors that, like us, have been here for many years, and those we never have problems with. Likewise, I have always tried my best to be a good neighbor. I have never imposed myself or my animals on anyone, and I have never demanded anything of anyone.

I was really kind of shocked, to be truthful.

Might be a good time to do a little firearm test shots in the ground occasionally just to keep the neighbors wondering.

I knew a guy who when he put up no trespassing signs up around his place he first staked them in his back yard in front of a back stop and fired a 45 slug or two through them from the back side before posting them on his propert lines.

I must admit that a no trespassing sign with a exit hole indicating the shot came from inside the posted property could make one wonder at the possibilities of crossing the property line.

fordy · #55 09/26/10, 01:00 PM

...........Ask him , IF "he lost his ankle bracelet " ? , fordy

WhiteWillow · #56 09/26/10, 03:29 PM

This has been an interesting thread to read through. An odd situation to say the least. Fascinating input and replies. I can't add anything that hasn't already been said. Hopefully this will be the last odd interaction you have with the man. Weird, weird, weird.

EasyDay · #57 09/27/10, 06:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Use Less

Nobody has quite said that the leaning on the fence & staring part is really threatening behavior.

I agree. This would eke me out... so I would feel the need to control the situation.

Quote:

Originally Posted by stickinthemud

I agree that JuliaAnn was right to just keep mowing & ignore the guy.

I don't agree with this.

I would have stopped the mower and asked, "Is there something else you wanted to say?" or something to that effect. The act of ignoring him actually gives people like this a sense of control. I'm a firm believer that meeting someone head on, and NOT ignoring them, tells them that you are not afraid (even if you are).

Most posts say to keep an eye on your chickens. I'd keep an eye on HIM. He may have been assessing everything else... including you.

**clovis** · #58 09/27/10, 07:37 AM

I had some 10 foot 2 x 4's stacked on my back deck for a project, and a person I know showed up to talk some business with me.

"I'll be taking those with me" he said.

"What???" I replied, dumbfounded, and not knowing what he was talking about.

"Those 2 x 4's. I need them all. I'll just load them up in my truck for you."

"Okay." I was still completely confused, since we'd been talking about washing machines. "I guess there is $25 worth there, so if you want them, $15 and they are yours."

"Oh" he said. "I thought I would just get rid of them for you."

A very weird conversation...I think the dude decided in his mind that those were his 2 x 4's, and all he had to do was take them. Totally weird.

I still can't get over his statement of "I'll be taking those with me."

oz in SC V2.0 · #59 09/27/10, 07:40 AM

I guess my mean nature comes to the top but my response AFTER the polite one would be too ----ed bad...or maybe a little bluer than that...

mary,tx · #60 09/27/10, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jen74145

Yeah, creepy. But honestly, not surprising. The Little Red Hen wasn't published yesterday.

I have people find out I have a garden and they say things like "Ooh, I want broccoli!" and I'm just... uhh, grow it?

When my cousin, who found us as an adult, moved in next to my Mom, she mentioned to my mom helping her pick the peas and sharing them with her. She was offended when mom told her, No, that she was growing those peas for her own table.