Ethical Legal Question

I agree with this, too.

Have the trust take care of you and if they do sell it the money has to go to a worthwhile organization or organizations. Maybe the FFA, 4H, etc.

Right now in Nova Scotia if you have children and will them nothing they can contest the will. If you leave the children $500 each they cannot contest the will. If there is no will your property will be divided by a probate judge and children or your spouse would have to split it. A legal will is the best way to have property left to who you want it to be left to.You should check the law where you live. You may have to leave the prodical son a token amount so he cannot contest your will.

If you are older and know your years are limited you could have a person's or whatever's name added to your deed that you want it to pass to. That way when you die the property would automatically pass to them. That would also make them part responsible for taxes and upkeep while you are alive. The sale of the property could only happen with both your signature and theirs while you are alive. You would need an understanding that you would remain there as long as you like.

As the cost of living rises you may find you will have to sell your property just to pay for your care in a senior's home if your health required such care.

Another idea is to sell when the time comes and give any children some "inheritance" while you are alive with them knowing there will be nothing when you are gone. Then use the rest of the money for your care for enjoyment in your later years.

Sell the land now. Find a home you can love in an area where you can be comfortable for the rest of your life, easy access to stores, doctors, a flowerbox or raised bed garden, etc. And if there is any money leftover, take a trip or do whatever you enjoy doing.
You have one life. Don't fret, don't regret, just enjoy what God has given you. Provide yourself an appropriate home for your future aging issues, and enjoy the blessings God has given you now.

Let your hurt and anger at your son go. You feel betrayed, unwanted, and thrown away. I completely understand that. But let it go. Love your son with your heart, perhaps save a small stipend to give to him after your passing $1000 or whatever, but let it go. Forgiveness is done for you, not for him. You think about this hurt everyday. But chances are, he rarely thinks about how he has hurt you. You need to let it go just for you. Forgive him for your own peace of mind.
(((hugs))))

Farmland Preservation Trust

__________________
It's not good enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required. - Winston Churchill

My God gives His inheritance to those that love Him. He said that His mother, brother, sister are those that hear His word and do it, not those born of flesh. He gives His inheritance to His adopted children.

He said to me that morality is enmity with God, because it substitutes men's judgment for His. If you know His Word, Christ Jesus, then He can show you His will. If not, what does it matter?

__________________
~ Carol

if you feel obligated to both the son and land, sell the land with convenaces or deed restrictions and will the proceeds to him. land protected and obligations fullfilled.

If you will need care you could rent it out when that time comes. With retirement income you could go to a third world country where that income would come to a lot of money. Get to know people in your local community. Select maybe a kind hearted poor widow with small minor children to take good care of you. Leave the property to the widow. With that much wealth in the U.S. she would have no problem getting visas for the family. You would be truly blessing a person this way who would have no way of realizing anything other wise.

In those states you should be able to set aside a small amount of money for your children.

But the thing is this, when you're dead, you're dead. You have no control over what was your property. When development surrounds a piece of land, property taxes can become so high that the owners of that property can no longer afford them. Why saddle anyone with that?

Your son is your son. Forgiving our children when they wrong us helps us provide a lesson to them that they should do the same. Because someone does something wrong is no reason for us to do something wrong. Please let go of your hurt feelings. That doesn't mean you have to set yourself to be hurt again.

__________________
Moms don't look at things like normal people.
-----DD

Could you set it up so your son can inherit the land only if he lives there for a certain amount of time? Maybe if he lived there for a year or 2 he might come to see the real value of it?

Yes, I have been in that position. As the grandchild who was supposed to inherit and protect it for all of us kids. BUT, she (my grandma) didn't do the paperwork correctly and worst of all, she kept the official copy in her home....where my dad and his wife knew the location of it.

Since it was sudden and kept from me until he had her cremated...within a few hours of her death...I got there too late to kiss her goodbye and just got a jug of ashes in a plain plastic container the next day. (My dog got better than that). His wife scooped up the will which conveniently couldn't be found by her sisters and I. The place was sold lock stock and barrel within months and even the mementos tossed or sold.

They spent the money on garbage like RVs and horses and living it up.

All I can tell you is that she was like you in some ways. While my father had moved back to the farm, it was for his own pleasure and NOT to take care of her like he said. She died of lack of care. And she lived in fear that it would happen and feared for our family land and the farm and did try to do the right thing and skip him to go with the Grandkids that shared her love of the land. I was, and still am, in the military and tried every single weekend to get her to come with me but she feared what they would do to the land and what fast ones they would pull. The other kids were too young or still in school and not as close to the farm to make the crazy drive I made every weekend.

Trust me, it isn't worth it. Life and happiness and being with those we love is important. Some sort of tie to a child who isn't really that baby you held at all anymore isn't that life or happiness. It isn't a matter of christian or not. It is a matter of ensuring that what you care for is cared for as you know it should.

If you have a grandchild that shares your love of this and is strong, take them under your wing and ready them to take over. If you have no other, then find the child, now grown, to love and ready. We make a family sometimes, not have one or bear one. I would do as another suggested and see if there is someone who can become your son or daughter now and who will care for you in your old age and continue a legacy you have started.

__________________
Christy
Growing Human
http://growinghuman.blogspot.com

When wearing narrow lenses of hate and ignorance, is it any wonder one finds it difficult to see clearly? - Me

Where ther is a WILL there is a way.

Never walked this path but considered what I would do if such a day did come. Would likely donate it to the FFA or 4H. That or sell it to another person interested in the lifestyle and leave the money to the son.

__________________

I don't think you have any obligations to a grown child.

I'd do a lot of investigating before I conveyed it to a conservation group. It may be Eden to you, but just another tract of dirt to someone else. Like Meloc said, sometimes they sell the properties to get 'better ones'.

You could set up a Trust, but it's only as good as the people in charge of it. My aunt and uncle have set up a Trust, disallowing any land sales outside of the family. They're going to give the prodigal unrepentant addict son one acre.

Unless you find someone now to fall in love with the land, odds are it's going to go badly for the land, after your demise. There are probably some individuals on this board that you could adopt, that'd love to have a stake in a piece of land. Otherwise, the state will probably get it in exchange for nursing home care (if you have no one to take care of you when the time comes, and it comes to us all).

__________________
Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. Seneca
Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival. W. Edwards Deming

We are facing somewhat the same situation. We both have a good child and a child that has no contact. (through their wish) We have no qualms about leaving the farm to the good child who wants to farm, and $$ to the other good child. There are consequences to actions.

I know of a situation where the mother insissted on splitting the farm between 6 children upon her death. The son (only one who farmed the land) lived in poverty to pay the insurance premiums on Mom, so he could buy out the rest of the heirs. I really don't see this as fair. No other child was interested in farming at all.

You have many good suggestions already. As a Christian, I have found that you form your spiritual family as you live. I wouldn't worry about the son. He has made his decision.

What would the taxes be if you willed your property to someone. Would they have to sell the land to pay inheritance taxes?

DW and I have seven children between us, some we haven't had contact with in years. It's heartbreaking as a parent to have children who have made it quite clear they want nothing to do with us, but we will respect their decision. All our children are mentioned in our will, but some get nothing.

As others have said, make sure it's all done legal and proper.

Forget putting the property in a trust. I've known people who have screwed themselves royally by doing that. Trusts have been broken. Instead consider an agricultural restriction.

A restriction is forever. Who ever owns the land in the future cannot develop it. By giving up the development rights while you own the property you may be entitled to a one time payment.

To give you an idea of how the restriction works, a public service district in WV could not get a right of way across agriculturally restricted land to install a water main. The downside is it may also restrict your own ability to build on the land. The best way to do it may be through your will when you can donate the restriction to the state instead of taking money for it.

Best Solution?

Get advice from a lawyer instead of an internet forum....

Thanks for all the very thought-provoking comments. The one by "The Paw" was more of a claw but one point that was raised was:
" What would the taxes be if you willed your property to someone. Would they have to sell the land to pay inheritance taxes?" That would certainly be something to check with a lawyer!
I did check about conservation easements but it would cost ME over $10,000 to set up a trust, pay a special appraiser, and convey the land which is only 70 acres which is below the minimum 100 acres.
As a Christian, my first question is what is good and right in this situation. My answer will come through prayer but by putting the question on an open internet forum to other Christians who have faced a same or similar situation, I do open my mind past my own personality and may I say pain barriers. I feel sorry for the Claw who thinks I should skip my true concerns and just consult a lawyer. Ha ha anybody who has had as many betrayals by lawyers as I have had would have learned that would be the last step in the process, to be taken only after a decision was arrived at!
Thank you all for your help. I think the best idea is to find a buyer for my land who can create a pure space. My son is forgiven but he would never protect this land. So somebody else really should have it. A real person, not a conglomeration. That leads to the next question .....

Bingo!!!

This is the best advice given in the entire thread.