What would you do? Very long. housing issues

Thank you.
It will cost about $1500-$2000 to get it moved and we have already planned accordingly.

Exactly! That is what we are going to do and it makes more and more sense the more I think about it. *IF* he ditches (like most people on here seem to think he will). THe kids and I will still have a house. He wouldn't try to take it away from us and fat chance in court if he did. But I am fairly certain we wont have those issues.

Thank you so much for answering the question and not commenting on my personal life. I ONLY mentioned it in the story to explain how we got into this mess in the first place. If I had of been running the show it wouldn't have happened. lol!

Just a reality check from an old guy, who has been there and done that. Better settle the obvious problems now than later.

Chocolate is cool.

Get back to me in 20 years or so, and let me know how that is working out for you.

I get it. I do. I know. I realize our chances are slim but some things are still worth a shot. I think in this day and age just about everyones chances are slim. Its a different world we live in than it was 30+ years ago. WHen I was a kid I was the only one in school who's parents were divorced. Now I am sure at least half the kids parents are divorced or were never married.

I really believe in my heart this can work between us and I am certainly not going to throw in the towel yet.

I really don't want to talk about it anymore. I get it. I know what I am doing and I accept the challenge.

Knowing that your chances are slim with this guy, and his history of trying to cut you out of ownership of a property that you paid 2/3rds on, I would be certain that title to every asset reflects your ownership and that you sock away money that he doesn't have access to (not even the records to) that he has no knowledge of, so that you have a fresh start when needed.

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I didn't just say my chances were slim with him, I meant they would be slim with ANY guy. That's how it is. He did try to 'cut me out' of ownership, but he also agreed to pay me $45,000 for it. He knows he can't 'cut me out' unless he comes up with that money. But it's not an issue anymore, hopefully.

Thanks so much for your advice. I always believe that a woman should be able to stand alone and shouldn't have to rely on a man if she doesn't want to.

Jackie
Through all of these comments and cross comments I have a few things to say. I commend you for both trying to save a relationship that has children involved. I am betting that there is not a long term relationship alive that hasn't at one time had bad enough mistakes made that could warrant a break up. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders and are able to make your own opinions on your relationship.
I also like your independent streak and your ability to take care of your family with or with out him. Do make sure and do that in all matters:>)Good luck to you.

Thank you so much! I am really trying to be smart about this and I really do think we can make this work. I want to and he wants to and with us both TRYING to make it work. That counts for something, doesn't it? Besides being silly about commitment the odd time he hasn't done anything else. He always makes sure the kids and I are taken care of. He doesn't lie, cheat, drink or abuse me in anyway. He is a very sweet boy that gets confused sometimes. That's all. I wouldn't stay with him if he was doing anything terrible.

Unless laws where you live are vastly different from those in the US you don't own 23 of the land unless you have that in writing.

Before you purchase anything with anyone not your spouse you need to have everything in writing. Seems to me that you made a mistake with this land purchase by not having things in writing. Please don't repeat it. The fact that he left then lawyered up just screams that he's not exactly trustworthy.

Have you thought of counseling? Especially since children are involved it seems to be a good idea to figure out what's going on with your relationship.

Good luck!

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I get it. About 4 people have already said the same thing.

Lawyer???? I am SOOOO confused about the lawyer thing. I re-read what I actually wrote and I never even said that HE got a lawyer. The original owners of the trailer got a lawyer to try to sue him for the rest of the money. Of course he had to get a lawyer too...actually using OUR lawyer, the one we used to buy the land, to defend himself. He decided in the end to just pay for the trailer and skip a year long court battle.

I don't care that I ended up paying for 2/3rds of the land. I keep saying that.
He KNOWS what I put in and that's all that should matter. He can't buy me out without giving me $45,000 because I wont sell my 'half' for less than that.

You're getting far too defensive about this. There's no reason to be emotional about a real estate transaction.

If you both agree on the facts surrounding the purchase then it doesn't matter if one lawyer draws-up the document, or even if you do it yourselves. Just so the facts about the purchase are committed to writing and are agreed upon (signed) by both of you. Mark my words; the day will come when it will be important to you to have it.

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There must be a mighty huge shortage of trailers up in Canada! 30K? 60K? for used trailers? Trailers are worse than cars for immediate depreciation once moved off the lot and moved in. You can find them for free on craigslist down here. If I really wanted a mobile, I'd got to a lot, buy one, have them bring it out and set it up.

Or, learn how, and build a home yourself. You'd come out way ahead. At the end of the process you'd own something that would appreciate over time, instead of depreciate (but, like I said, Canadian mobile home economics may be different, but they certainly depreciate down here in the states, until they're free, and then you have to pay someone to haul em off.)

I'd get everything in my name.

I deleted a whole paragraph... basically making bad talk about oilfield workers... I'll leave the next paragraph in...

Sorry, just my observations over half a century (course I really wasn't that observant for the first 18 years). He's 'burned' you once, and begged his way back in... That's what us folks down here call a "Sign".

I'd get everything in my name... simple protection. Find a home for your acreage elsewhere, and by yourself. Don't know if you have enough assets to consider a prenup or not.

Good luck... but remember, Trust but Verify.

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I wouldn't have to get defensive if people would have just answered my question instead of assuming that he is out to get me.

It depends on the trailer. Some are obviously just junkers, but mobiles that have been maintained and are in great shape are worth something. $30,000 for a trailer that has been completely renovated (inside and out) is hardly unreasonable.

When you say 'lot' do you mean where they are manufactured? They are like $90,000 new. Ours is just as good as new but a third the price.

I've tried to stay out of this thread, since I have no advice or constructive observations - but I really need to know...

This re-done, super duper deal mobile home. It sounds as if it's a single wide, but I'm not sure -so--------- is it a singlewide? or doublewide? and general size? I'm just really interested as I live in a good named brand mobile home and the upgrades fascinate me.

Thank you-
Angie

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My take on this is: you are moving the trailer to the city lot; you will then have a piece of land, with livestock, that you can view as an investment. All fine. Pay for the trailer, move it on the lot, decorate the kids' bedrooms. The kids will feel more secure about where they live and the family situation. Having my man five days a month would be a deal breaker for me, but if it works for you, then it works for you.

Talk to your lawyer about the title. Make sure that you have a title showing that you have 2/3 ownership and he has 1/3 ownership. This is to protect you, but also your children. It's no big deal to file a new paper on the property. If the trailer is in his name only, he can sell it to him and you so that you have joint ownership. If he falls into debt (or his mother comes back) the trailer can't be taken from you because he only owns half of it. Your lawyer can explain how things will stand in a worst case scenario.

Best of luck

Jackie
a few qusetions from me too
your boss has the lot in town near your land and job?The one you could get for 5k?
Does it have the needed things to live there? Electric, septic etc?
would he do a rent to own? how long have you been at your job? Is your job secure? do you like it?
sorry if i missed any of the details.

As for tailers..I wanted to go that way but we had land restrictions. It had to be a new one and a double wide. They ran 60k or more..then we would still have neded 10k to do the foundation enclosed thingie.

Let's be clear about what "title" means. In real estate terms "title" is short for "title insurance". Ownership is not gained by going to a title company (you might be surprised at how many people think so). Ownership is only gained by recording a deed with the county. In legal terms, lawyers will use the term "title" term to refer to your deeded ownership interest in a real property, regardless of whether you have a title policy.

The purpose of going to a title company is to take out a policy that guarantees ownership. Owners are willing to pay for that for a few reasons. First, most property owners need to take out a mortgage, but banks won't accept a deed as collateral. It may sound kind of ignorant, but the bank doesn't believe that you own the property until a title company says you own it, even though a perfectly legal deed has been recorded in your name. Another reason that you might want a title policy is because you want to issue a full grant deed when you sell the property. The grant deed guarantees that the seller will defend ownership of the property, with his own money if necessary. A seller would be foolish to provide a grant deed to a buyer without a title policy.

That said, the ownership arrangement that Jackie has described is joint tenancy (please correct me if I'm mistaken). That's not the kind of arrangement that can easily be expressed as a 2/3rds ownership. The nature of a joint tenancy ownership is joint ownership and enjoyment of the land in life, then total ownership in the event of the death of one of the joint tenants.

Joint tenancy rights can't even be willed. For example, of a joint tenant were to will his share of the real property to his kids, his kids would get nothing upon his death. The reason is that in joint tenancy the property becomes the sole property of the other tenant upon death, so the deceased joint tenant no longer has any interest in the property to will to anyone.

But a contract could be drawn-up to agree upon a fair division of the property in the event of ownership being divided before the death of one of the tenants. That contract could provide for a 2/3-1/3 split. That's the kind of thing that lawyers do, but it doesn't have to be done by a lawyer.

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