Why so rude?

Unfortunately, neither sarcasm nor humor translates very well into print. This is a very large forum compared to others I visit, really. There are a few posters whose views or delivery rub me the wrong way-but I don't worry too much about it.

Just keep this in mind: The words you read on your screen only affect you as much as you allow them. Period, end of story.

This is the reason that I don't visit the horse forum, despite my years of ownership. Does nothing but get me riled up over folks' views and advice-and I learned to just not go there, lol

If you think this place is rude, just try being one of the few Alaskans on board last year, hahaha!

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A glimpse into my life and thoughts up here in Southcentral Alaska-visit my blog www.suvalley.blogspot.com

I love HT but also see a large amount of rudeness and "my way is the only way" attitude. Just try posting a pup for sale and see what happens!
Hopefully some of the people on this forum will read this and think about how rude and offensive some of their posts are before posting them. Being passionate in your opinion doesn't not make it right to bash others that have a different view. We can all learn a lot from each other if we open up and get rid of the blinders.

I don't either -- until you get to General Chat or Politics, but those are set up with different rules.
Now many people here do call a spade a spade including me, but everyone has a different personality and a different tolerance level for rudeness. Remember only you can make yourself angry -- no one else can, anger is your reaction to people or events.

It helps to remember a couple of things:

If you post asking for help or advice, you will get advice.

Often folks come on with "I'm doing abc and it isn't working--what should I do". They might get told do xyz. Then they start arguing that they cannot do xyz or anything but abc.

In that case, why post a question?

The other thing to remember is this: lots of folks, myself included, come on here to rant about something like I did about the dumb school bus driver. No problem. HOWEVER, anytime we do that, we need to remember that what we see as cruel, stupid, unkind, or whatever may not appear that way to other folks.

We just might learn something from their point of view. If not, oh well, shrug it off and weed the garden.

Often the topics here are very important of the posters, its hard not to get defencive when your being told a large chunk of your life plan is plain stupid.

Another thing that leads to rudness is someone posts what they see as a simple question and include a minamal amount of information. Then all kinds of questions come up and they have to keep introducing more info in their defence. They feel pressed and thought ignorant whileother posters feel like they have been setup by what they see as a changeing the rules of the discussuion after they have made their arguments/

LOL like it says wear them flameproof undies.! Ive found that to be where the most rude(and stupid) things are tolerated.. After that Single tree is pretty rough and tumble at times. The families forum can a bit rude but mostly I think thats cause things get posted there that the Op doesnt want to take to GC because it IS so rough and the Moderaters in Families require a bit more civalty.

Thanks b

Lately I've seen some real nastyness when it comes to puppies or kittens - that is just a real hot topic for some and they can't contain themselves when the opportunity comes up even when they post nothing that actually has to do with what the OP asked.

Most of the typical hot topics are regulated ot GC but "pet" animal breeding is not. At least we are still "Ok" with most animal husbandry on HT.

Cathy

It's not a matter of self-control. Sometimes, folks must speak out when morality and the public good compels them to.

As my grandmother used to say, "Sometimes when the spirit moves you, you just gotta dance."

I'm not sure what she meant. We ended up putting her in a home.

We were specially rude to Alaskans?

Sometimes I think some are rude on here, but if I were to go to the local diner, some of the people there might be rude too. And the people that are rude one day might be the sweetest the next. We are a community after all.

When you ask a question you are going to :
1. Get good advice given in a nice way
2. Get good advice given in a bad way
3. Get bad advice given in a good way
4. Get bad advice given in a bad way
5. Get confusing advice given in a good way.....

I think you get the point. When you ask a question - you just have to deal with the answers. Take them or leave them - depending on what mood you are in. Love us or leave us. Ignore us or jump right in a participate with us. But we are what we are....and I kind of like us.

I think Pouncer is referring to our having to suffer through the Palin debacle. It was all rather good natured but we felt compelled to defend some of the more egregious postings. Most of us are just glad she is not in the news as much!

HT is one of the best forums I have ever been on. It is like a family and we all know how families can be. I have been a member for a long time but I don't post as much as others. I love reading and getting advice from those with the knowledge to share. When I read threads with a lot of rudeness or smart remarks and want to respond in kind, I ask myself what it would accomplish.Usually nothing except to keep the pot stirred so I just move on. I don't think you can really mean that each and every sub-forum and each thread is rude. That is not true. I hope you will stick around and give it a chance but if not that is(IMO) your loss.

I am still patting out the flames smouldering from when I asked about a pony for my daughter (horse forum) or asked questions about birds in general (pet forum). But I took what I could out of the advice that was given, said my piece about the rest, and moved forward. After a few more weeks I might post a pic of the adorable chincoteague pony we got for her and how much she loves it. No matter who said what (and I don't even recall who said what any more, doesn't matter) I will be there...errr, here...whatever....for any one of them should they need something. When dealing with so many people, and so many personality types, you have to expect that some will come on for no other reason than to be contentious, some will come back and apologize when they realize they were taken the wrong way, and some are just abrupt. One of the most abrupt people over in goats has taught me quite a bit through her posts.

General Chat...well, by now I know each person, I know how they are going to post, who is going to respond to it and how...and can guess how many times the ex-president's name will come up in each post!!! It is a known rudeness. But even there, when someone needs some genuine advice or prayer or whatever, all differences are put aside in support of that person.

Take it all with a grain of salt, you don't have to like everyone here just like you don't have to like everyone you meet in real life.

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Becky

Are you part of THE group?

Do you have 4,267 acres?

Have you NEVER made bad financial decisions?

Do you cook everything from scratch?

Do you know every thing about ALL animals?

Can you amputate your own leg?

If you fit the above criteria, no one will ever be rude to you.

If not, you just aren't homesteaderly enough to be worthy.

JUST KIDDING!! Well, maybe not totally kidding........

I've been frustrated by some posts, and also worried that others would be bothered by mine, when not meant to be bothersome. It's largely part of the cyber communication many have mentioned here, not knowing the tone exactly of how something was put.

I have found a semi-solution that has helped me a lot:

1. Don't log in when I first come to read HT. Not being logged in naturally keeps me out of GC since you can't get to it without login.

2. Concerning getting aggravated, if I feel the urge to post, I can't do it until I log in, so hopefully, by the time I do, I've had a few more thoughts, and maybe if what I felt like saying could just be kept to myself, then I've realized it by that time, or at least thought of something more appropriate to say.

3. It's difficult, but once learning the name of a couple folks who really tee you off, just pass over their posts. No, I can't always do it, but sometimes it works.

4. Just as important as learning the ones that tee you off, learn the ones you enjoy!! Like someone mentioned about Oggie. It's true, I laugh or at least smile whenever reading his posts. Put as much effort into looking for the good as identifying the bad.

5. Let the mods do their thing. Have I agreed with everything I've ever seen from them? no. But I'm dang glad THEY"RE doin' it, and not me...

Alright, that's my little handbook of HT participation as of now. I haven't been here that long anyway.

There's far too much value here to go away, even if I don't read what I hoped for.
Hope you stay around and reap the benefits!

I've looked at and participated in many forums over the years... and the tone and attitude of those is what usually killed my interest in reading and participating in short order. But I haven't had that experience here and all in all I've found these forums to be some of the most civil and informative that I've participated in.

I think that perhaps some of the "rude" responses people deliver are often just what I see as "country gruffness". Folks that are living this lifestyle usually don't have time for chit-chat and jibber-jabber. They say what's on their mind... especially if you ask em their opinion.

Regardless of the current tone... I'm always in favor of seeking a more content, peaceful, and civil community setting. Seems several folks have had some rough experiences in the past. I think it's a good reminder to us all to be conscious and mindful of our responses and consider how our words and actions affect the people around us.

And to those that easily find offense -- understand that if you are going to prosper in the homesteading lifestyle that you will have to work on toughening up your skin -- both figuratively and literally.

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Patrick Harris
http://ByExample.com

Wow for a moment I thought I had found salvation- but no general under advanced on my Windows.

Thank you, Salmonslayer, for that, lol Yep, spent a lot of time correcting erroneous assumptions and wrong conclusions and straightening out timelines and providing actual facts and so on and so forth.

I am very glad she is not in the news much too!

I like this place very much, even if I don't post in every thread or subforum!

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A glimpse into my life and thoughts up here in Southcentral Alaska-visit my blog www.suvalley.blogspot.com

I hardly ever notice anything rude...I like everyone

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Teach only Love...for that is what You are

where I want to

Do you not have a screen such as this? If not maybe you need to get the latest Firefox.

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Agmantoo
If they can do it,
you know you can!