Funny Text for No Trespassing Signs
 

Hey all - need some ideas for funny things to put on no trespassing signs. I have 1/2 an acre at the community gardens, and have had problems with kids from the softball diamonds walking across it because they haven't been taught any better. I really don't want to post the black and orange "official" signs, as I don't think it gives off the right, friendly community atmosphere. I would prefer to believe that people simply don't know any better until they give me reason to think otherwise, if that makes sense. So, now I need ideas for what to put on my signs to ask people to stay out without being snarky. Thanks!

Warning: University of IA Rattlesnake Breeding Habitat Program.

Nice Jim! I was thinking "beware- killer death slugs!"

"Veggies Growin'....please don't disturb!" ??

Poison

Grounds Reserved For The Annual
Over 65 Nudist Club International
Get-together
Registrations accepted at town clerk's office

Or you could use the not-so-nice:
Those Found Here After Dark
Will Be Found Here In The Morning

Target range, no trespassing

If you walk through here, make sure you pull all the weeds and water the veggies as you go.

WARNING! This is an official U.S. Government landmine testing area. Please be careful when crossing.

Or, WARNING! Very dangerous sinkholes known to swallow baseballs and the kids that play with them. Please be extremely cautious traversing this area.

please don't feed the alligators.

Trespassers Welcome. $1,000 use fee per day or any portion of a day payable upon demand. Credit terms of 1 1/2% per month available.

Invited guests and service people permitted by written authorization only.

all trespassers will be made to eat their vegies

. .Yellow Jacket breeding grounds . . .

How about something to the effect of it being a Cannibal's Club... Visitors welcome!

"Is there life after death? Trespass and find out!"

This is actually on a very large sign near here.

Janis

Senior Citizen Nudist Farm and Rifle Range.

Free-range Tick Farm.

Poison Ivy Plantation

"Warning - plants on this farm have been proven to cause impotence."

Please Don"t Walk On My Food!!!!!!! or POISON IVY TEST SITE

Caution: Horse Manure Depository!

My husband had good luck with an image of a deer tick, magnified some 500 times, and posting it with "Caution: deer yard. Check genitalia for attached deer ticks upon leaving area."

VERY effective. I saw people stop dead and then flee at a high rate of speed!

[QUOTE=Caitedid;3891631killer death slugs!"[/QUOTE]

Those are great. LOL I think I would have to vote for the first one.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ooh, I really like the "Free-range Tick Farm"! Really trying to keep these lighthearted as I really don't think people understand that they're walking through stuff that pays for my college. Also, I'm concerned that if I put up regular no trespassing signs that people won't realize that I mean them, as they don't seem to be doing it with menace, if that makes sense. Keep the ideas coming! Caite

Ooh! Can we vote! I vote for "Please don't walk on my food!" That makes people stop and think, without being snippy about it. I think the rattlesnake and tick and hornet references will make young boys say "cool!!!! let's go check it out!"

"I pay $3.00 a day in property taxes so I can walk on my property.
Please pay at the house."

This gives folks a bit of understanding of your land ownership costs.

"No Trespassing
This property protected by Michigan Right to Farm P.A. 1985"

While there is a Michigan Right to Farm Act and my property is protected by it, it doesn't cover trespassing. Most folks won't want to risk violating a law that they are uncertain about.

"Trespassers will be Violated"

Self explainatory

"If you cross this fence, please remove your dentures. Our dobermans find them hard to digest."

The Vegetables are Screaming...Please Stay Off.

"Nuclear Waste Dump. Do Not Enter." With the appropriate radiation sign. :)

Jennifer

Since these are kids...

"Summer School this way"

even though Chuck's "Please remove your dentures" would get my vote!

My favorite:

Trespassers will be violated

"Organic fertilizer test plot #313.

Those entering this site are advised to wash skin and clothes after leaving.

Rinse.

Then wash, again."

Please Detour
Sewer gases present!

Keep in mind, the more clever your signs, the quicker the signs will disappear.

Make a narrow (dirt) path through the middle with a sign asking people to please stay on the path so that the plants don't get hurt.

If they aren't doing it to be destructive but only taking the shortest distance between two points, then this should help.

This is a vegetable garden. Be respectful of the living things here. Don't step on any of the plants. They hate that and you REALLY don't want to tangle with a ticked off rutabaga...or with a ticked off gardener for that matter.

practical side: post signs on your rows identifying the vegetables growing there... make your rows more distinct so if it is just a matter of convenience for the kids, they might just stay on your paths and not do any damage. you could also put up a small/short decorative fence on the sides they cross over so they can see it is not just an empty field.
on the creative side: how about a scarecrow wearing an old baseball jersey standing in the middle and then a bit farther away a missing poster saying the person was wearing what the scarecrow is wearing and they were last seen crossing thru a nuclear waste site rehab garden :D

I don't want to label things more than necessary as we also have quite a theft problem, and I think that making things more interesting might encourage people. The kids have no reason to be on my plot at all, there is nothing on the other side except more gardens that they also shouldn't be messing with. Think I'm going to run a fence just made with flagger's tape so they can see something is there, and then add signs. Caite

WARNING! Do Not Tresspass! Police K9 Training Unit #34 in Session
DOGS ARE TURNED LOOSE Daily Between the Hours of ___ and ___


lol That would deter even *me*!

"Times are hard. We are frugal. Trespassers will be cooked and eaten."

Gailann- We have a winner! Love it - thanks!

In all seriousness, if you have a garden, and folks are 'around' and trespassing on it now, do you expect to actually have anything to eat, come harvest time? I have enough trouble with coons, possums, squirrels, deer, and other wild critters............eating the good stuff the night before harvest. Can't imagine having to deter hungrysome humans. [well, actually I CAN imagine... I've imagined what I'd have to do to keep the Golden Horde refugee's out of my garden in a shtf scenario]