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City Slickers?
I belong to a group on facebook that supports farmers, and many of the people on there are. A lot of these people express some serious hatred for hobby farmers and "city slickers" buying up land that is only rightfully theirs. If these newcomers don't understand their lifestyle then they come onto this group and moan about what's going wrong.
As a kid who wants to move out to the rural midwest from suburban Maryland, I am wondering whether I'll experience community distaste for buying anywhere from 100 to 320 acres that they think belong to them, or if I don't wave when people drive by I'll be shunned. Sure, it shouldn't matter, but it does to me. Anyway, my question is have any of you experienced this from neighbors? Many of the people on the site are around my age (20s to 30s), and are probably just too young and inexperienced to have any respect. Also, can anybody really say city slicker and mean it? They sound like people who've never actually confronted a city. |
What you don't realize is how some of old timers growed up out here in the country. We grew up when the country wasn't very populated and most everyone knew each other. You could walk or ride your horse just about anywhere you wanted. Hunt or fish about anywhere you wanted. Even if it was on someone elses property. Since the owner knew you and your parents he/she didn't care what you done so long as you didn't harm or steal anything.
But now days you don't have that kind of neighbors anymore. Most generally when the new owner of the property comes aboard they start posting everything and acting like everyone around them is a black man they don't want to associate with. If you just drive up to there house to introduce yourself they threaten to call the law on you if you ever come on their property again. Just seems like new people make very selfish and hateful neigbors anymore. |
I see that there about 8 of us all posting at once, so I will probably just repeat ...
If you are a serious farmer and you buy up land you will meet with no trouble. If you are respectful of the land and the history of the area.. no trouble. If you move in and try to change the area, act like you are better, blow past guys on their tractors on the road while blowing your horn, etc... they will hate you. Drive an old truck. Chew the fat at the feed store by the woodstove, shop the local hardware whenever you can, ask advice from locals who know about soil conditions, planting times and what grows well and you will do just fine! |
Some folks move from the city an bring their ways with them or i've heard :nono: Like calling the cops for anything of course here they may get here tomorrow sometime .Then they want to fuss if their neighbor don't mow his yard the way they think he should or as often :Bawling::Bawling: Mowed mine twice last summer :confused: Here if you move in and M Y O B every thing would be fine :dance: Nearest town from my house is ten miles means i need to move one day . We even leave the keys in our cars :shrug: My wife was born in Detroit Mi her big thing was don't park on the grass :Bawling: Think i have convinced her it will grow back an i still may not mow it !!
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Nah, you may be tolerated but you will never be fully accepted. I repair the neighbors equipment and never charge for labor. I put cattle up for them if they are out. I start the cars and fix flats if hubby is away for the wives. I am considered good enough to do any thing for any of them but never good enough to be accepted as an equal. They begrudge me owning land in the community and openly tell me so. They never visit unless they want me to do something such as ordering parts off the computer (order now, pay 3 months later when they need something else) or to ask how to get something apart or put it together on their machinery. When they cannot repair something I am a good ole guy to get but once it is repaired their arrogance is such that they question how I did it or what I did and I revert to the second class neighbor. I let one of the neighbors have 10 acres of hay on shares, I was to get a third. I did, but my third did not come off my weed free field. Mine came off a trash weed infested field with kudzu vines in the bales. This is typical. Even when one of the neighbors sons stole from the church as treasurer, it was as if the neighbors accepted this blindly and I remain the heathen. Most of the community is related some way or another. It all boils down to whether you are blood related or not. Blood ties are all that is important here. It doesn't matter if it is incest, it just has to be blood relations. I have come to get a warped sense of enjoyment from their behavior and no longer give a carp.
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agmantoo, how long have you been there? I always say it takes country folks a LOT longer to accept someone.
Farmers watch everything you do very carefully, but eventually it is as if you have always been there. If not for youself, then likely for your kids. In the meantime, just do the best you can. The MYOB and dont be a cop-caller are both good ways to fit in, IMO. |
agmantoo i was born here i learned which ones would do favor for favor an which ones you charge like rip . Man ask me how i could give slabs to some people told him my buddies were free the ones don't have time for me or fuss about price pays double :clap: If you do everything for nothing when you die they will say you were a good ol boy .If you charge em like zip they will say he was sure a good mechanic gunna sure miss him :shrug:
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I heard two locals talking about the new folks that had moved in down the road. "Just like the rest of these city slickers they come down here, bought 5 acres, put a double wide on it, bought too many horses and one barking dog and put up no tresspassing signs, who the h wants to go see'em anyway."
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Here small farms are pretty typical for new people buying land, considering an acre will probably run a hundred thousand at least. You can't really blame a person if any more isn't affordable, especially if the criticizer inherited his/her land.
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gone-a-milkin
I have been in this community for 19 years. However, this is the same county I was born in. |
My parents had someone from the big city buy land to the south of them. The guy got in a tizzy because according to the survey my parent's fence was 5 foot on his land. He sued both them the other neighbor. Guy didn't want to work with anyone, my dad even offered to buy the small strip of land. Keep in mind, this guy bought over 100 acres so it wasn't like there was a lack of space. This is the sort of thing that grinds rural people's gears. People born and raised here have a live and let live attitude. People who come from the city and whine about other people's run down houses or piles of junk are quickly despised. Also unfortunately for people born and raised here the housing prices and land prices have skyrocketed due to everyone and their brother from the big city wanting a little piece of the NorthWoods.
Also, keep in mind, sometimes no matter how hard one tries they may never be accepted into a community. It isn't right, and I don't care where someone comes from, but it happens. Some areas are better than others. I have been to small towns where they love everybody, and I have been to others where you are stared down when you walk into a grocery store. |
I think it has to do with how you act toward people . I was a tranplant here in Ky 30 years ago I now know more people than my wife who has lived here all her life . Had a neighbor move in in front of us last year and the first thing she said to me was I needed to move the gate at the end of our drive I tryed to explain to her that is was private but she said she knew it was a county road . Had to go get the deed and show her where the road was deeded to our farm years ago . Now summer comes and they have hay in the field on the ground and his bailer breaks They are calling for rain so on a Sunday afternoon I take my tractor and bailer bail the hay for them . He didn't ask .
We get along much better now . Be nice until it time to be not so nice . |
I dislike "city slickers" but for a whole different reason. I live out here in my little slice of heaven (I sent you a PM!) and...
Development companies have come in, torn all the farmland up, people moving out here by the droves turning THIS into the city, and like someone mentioned, bringing their "ways" with them. There is litter everywhere on the sides of the road, roadkill everywhere because these idiots will not slow down on our twisty roads surrounded by woods, they have built a golf course and have multi-million dollar town houses and condos. They have built professional buildings (how many flipping doctors do you need in one square mile), voted for building and expanding, then voted down a gas station because it would mar the landscape. So if I need a doc, I can drive 10 minutes down the road, but a tank of gas is a 20 minute trip. They move out here with those fake hummers and yuppie clothes and have the nerve to look at ME when I walk in the grocery store in muck boots or hay falls out of my truck when I open the hatch. Thank GOD when my husband's grandmother decided to sell the farm, she sold it to a friend of mine because a logging company AND a developer were looking at the property (we live on parcels of land bought from the original farm, and are surrounded by the farm). We back up to a state park, so that is a blessing. Those "city folk" couldn't wait to move out to the country...only to screw it up as badly as the city. And THAT is why I don't like "city slickers." I could care less if they talk to me in the store, but I need a Bumper Sticker that says "keep that stupid ugly McDonald's wrapper in your car, you Escalade non-driving yuppie doofus!!!" or "Deer do not count as extra points on your way to work." But Cam, you do not seem to fit that category, so you're ok! (if you actually drive an Escalade I apologize, lol). Come over and we'll go to that fancy schmancy Italian Restaurant they put in the strip mall.... OK, stepping off the soapbox...darn, tripped over a golf ball.... |
Thanks, everybody, for the comments. I'll keep all them in mind. OldCountryBoy, you're right that new people tend to do put up signs and call police. Our society is getting more recluse, and that's why the average house size is expanding and nobody goes outside anymore, but there's really nothing our country can do about it. I like to think I'm less of a jerk than many suburban dwellers--have a respect for land, hardly ever honk at anything, and I tolerate a lot of stuff without complaining.
I guess it also depends on which state you're in how people treat you. When I visited ND and SD a couple years ago the people were respectful and surprised that anybody on the east coast would be interested in (at the time) going to college there. I guess if I was just tolerated it'd be about like living here, so it's all the same. |
Move in, plant your garden, get your chickens, keep your head down, and do your own thing -- and you'll be accepted with no trouble. It'll take a while for the other folks to come around, but they will.
Move in, demand street lights, complain about the neighbors target shooting on the weekend, complain about tractors on the road, and prove to everyone that you're a mooch and a whiner the first time it snows -- and people will be polite to your face but will never accept you as part of the community. Expect to be the topic of conversation for the first couple years - that's just normal. Pretty soon, you'll find yourself joining in those conversations about the new folks down the road... Find out where the men have coffee in the mornings. There's always a particular diner or coffee shop where the men will get together. That's where you'll start to get to know your neighbors. |
Yes, you do need to wave at every car.
You need to keep the "we used to do it this way in....." comments out of your conversation. Join local organizations, but don't try to change anything for five years. At least. Decline their offers of making you an officer of the organization. Don't tell anyone how much you paid for the land/house. Come up with some clever and polite way to avoid answering that question. Don't make friends too fast. Frequently, the friendliest folks are the ones that nobody else will talk to. Keep your mouth closed and your eyes open. Figure out who is trustworthy before becoming buddies. This may take a year or so. |
Move here!!! we need more outsiders like me.
The locals that were born here and are related to everyone are friendly, but they only wave and say hi, they don't invite us "outsiders" to their homes or include us in their lives in any way. We are obviously going to be outsiders until the day we die. They are friendly enough when we run into them, but we'll never be good enough to become locals in their minds. We outsiders are forming our own friendships where we actually invite people to our homes. We invite the locals, but they never come, they are always to busy with their friends and families. I've been here 15 years and I'm still an outsider (even after being secretary of a local organization for a few years!). A friend of mine has been here 50 years and he's still an outsider. Our kids that went to school here and grew up with the local kids are now locals, but those of us who didn't grow up with our peers will never be "insiders". |
I'm fine with cities - if it weren't for them there wouldn't be so much nice empty spaces between them. Suburbs is another story - just a waste of good farmland ;)
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we've lived here for over 13 years and feel we're just now getting out of the 'new ppl' role. most are related, and it took forever to be accepted. they were always nice, but it was that top-surface type nice. it just takes time
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You're just a state away from where I'm probably going, chewie.
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Yeah. Houses are usually either reasonably sized townhouses or giant McMansions. Most people here are living way beyond their means, and the price of everything is too high.
By the way, I drive a Subaru Forrester, but only as a hand-me-down from my dad, since I can't afford my own car, don't even have a job. I liked driving a Corolla much better for commuting to school purposes. Would never drive a Cadillac. |
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I was told that they were shy and a little backward, give me a break. Nobody was flaunting anything over them. I believe if an outsider moved into that community it would not matter what they did or didn't do, they would never be accepted. |
Lord have mercy,you folks with all them countryfied ways keep telling them "How Twos" and" What not to Do's"to all thim city folks, you gunna have all ovum out cher in the contree. Whats so bad is everybodys gunna be going around waving at everybody and ain't nobody gunna be ducking when they hear gun shots, cause its gota be Mr Smith a shooting them blackbirds in his corn.Everybodies gunna be acting all polite and nice and taking down them posted signs till afterwhile ain't noboy gunna know whos from the city and who ain't. How we gunna know whos one of us and who ain't? Mess around and shoot somebody fer tresspassing and come to find out they WAS on their own land and they was Kin ,cause so and so's oldest daughter moved to the city right after highschool,got married and moved back to mama and papa,s farm,and bought that city slikin husban with her.But to tell the truth,I was gunna let him get by this time, but when I hollard at him and told him he was tresspassing, he had the nerve to show me his middle finger.So I shot him.Found out later he was just waving,after his wife(kin,who had been gone so long she had for gotten about that finger thing) told me and admitted not remembering to tell him about that finger, was a no, no when waving.Now back to you all.See what all this getting along and waving can do? Shoot,If we get along all that good and never disagree,that ain't no fun. If I gotta live like that, Im a moving to the CITY LOL, Seriously you folks have brought up most of the reasons City and Country folks don't get along. Hopefully we all can find common ground,even though both sides may have to except some things we don't understand in order to make this "get along thing' work, and if we can pull that off,this world will be a better place to live for us all, and all that follow us. Eddie
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some of you need to step back and read the hate thats spewing from your mouths, or is that fingers?
ill just say this, not all slickers are bad just like not all country folk are good |
I think it probably has a lot to do with the area. My wife and I are the newbies at our neck of the woods. We just have 15 acres, but we're fortunate. 90 % of the folks around here are very neighborly. Our place is on a hill and cars, trucks, and tractors go by all day...and slow. We always initiate a wave, and most (but not all) wave back. My wife and I work hard at our place and see us working 80% of daylight hours, and I think that has earned us a measure of respect. My wife and I are always friendly and she makes cookies for some of the neighbors, and I've lent a hand when people have needed some muscle for a job they're doing. There is one predominant last name in our area, in fact the road we built on has been given that name as well. We fell in good graces with that family. so maybe that's too why we've been accepted. I suspect that if we had fallen out of favor with them early on, our experience wouldn't have been so positive.
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I'm pretty sure Eddie's post was humor.:clap:
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I think part of the problem of city folk moving to the country is that many move there for the country but then try to make it just like the place they left. That riles up many long time residents who understand that bulls beller, horses whinny, dogs bark, tractors go slow down the road and chicken houses SMELL..lol
I've been on the same patch now for 23 years, my road is five miles long and since moving here I've seen so many other folks move here that immediately wanted the country to be like the suburbs.. flying down this RESIDENTIAL road at 60 mph, honking their horns at the tractors that USED to go from one field to another by way of the road, etc. Now those tractors are gone, I am thinking on selling out and moving too.. just too many folks and it isn't country anymore. I have the last "large" tract of land on this road..and let me tell you, I have tried to hold out but since the announcement last week of a "planned community" I am thinking it is time to sell. Having 15,000 people move in two miles down the road isn't my idea of country and that is what is planned starting in the spring. I am tired of chasing other folk's dogs off my place, tired of picking up trash, tired of the traffic, noise and honking. Can't drive seven miles to work anymore without it taking 40 minutes, and can't ride my horse down the side of the road without fear for my life. It's just not worth it, but I know if I sell, my place will become a subdivision. I just hope I can get enough money out it to move further away from town, pay cash for a place and live there till I die..but I'll have to move 20-30 miles out to have "country" again. I feel like there really isn't any more country left where I live, just one subdivision right after another. So yep, I reckon there's a bit of resentment from long time residents, but then again, it's not the city folks fault that the long timers sold out so they could move in and bring their city ways with them now is it? |
I have heard many say there do not feel accepted, when they have moved into our community,
I think part of it is simply that they are not life time residents, and believe me not all the "locals" accept each other, tolerate possibly but accept NO, there are many sub groups, by the high school class you graduated from, or the church you go to, or if you have the money to drive a Cadillac or a Chevy, there are many classes and groups, but part of it is that many times there is a lot of blood relitives, and many of familys related by marrage, there is also the Idea we have been here since Granddad homesteaded this home place, so any family who moves in is a newbe, and land and history is can be a big part, of how people view things, (my daughter and her husband have this view diffrnece, as to him a house or peice of land is jsut a property to buy or to sell and to do with as one wants with out regard to it history, to my daughter she wants permency stability and "home"), to some one who was raised in a community it is HOME, it DADS home it was grandpa home, he built the house in 1896 and dad was born in this room, this is where aunt Beulah was killed by the run away team, and so on and so forth, it is a legacy, it is who they are it what they do it is there life, not just a passing moment in time, to live for a few years and move on, I think in one way the easy way to almost explain it is it is nearly a religion to many county people there way of life and there land. and others understand it in the community, and those out side of it do not. There is a reverence for the land the open spaces and the history, it is a memorial to the memory of the lives and work of those before you, You can recite the stories of the blizzards of years past and how they made it through the depression, and when electricity, and the telephone came in, and when the state paved the hi way, when the bank was held up in town, there is more there then living and working the land there is reverence and understanding, and it will take the new comer a life time to become part of that, see if I buy my neighbors ground, I keep that alive, as more than likely they are shirt tail relatives, and it is in the family, or even if it was a neighbor and not related, I know him and worked with him he did my chores on vacation and and mine his, I watched out for him and he for me, I knew his dad and more than likely went to the same school, possibly the same church, and same groups, his kids and mine were in FFA or 4H together or I was with his kids, it is just that people from the out side (to the locals just do not get it), and with each new comer and each farm stead that was sold off or plot of ground that has been sub divide, by some one kids who sold the land off when they inherit it. (that money was more important than the land). A piece of that is chipped away, and destroyed, (simply said the changes they make are improvements, and changes you make are CHANGE, and destroying a way of life,). (and when last week there was 160 acres there and now there 8 new hobby farms and green horns moving in that will burn the place down or have it blowing away in a few years, and will build on it and make it unusable for future agriculture uses, just large yards. and when you get tired of it you will sell and move off, or if one can subdivide it again and make it worst. I also think that when a farmer is forced to sell or has no other options, or his kids sell it off, many of the neighbors feel betrayed, (expecialy if they do not or can not buy the land) and some of that hostility can be transfered to the new owners, |
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You really should master wave etiquette before going 'country'.
The wrong wave can be just as bad as the no wave. There's the one finger off the steering wheel wave, the whole hand on the wheel wave... don't do both hands off the wheel wave... There's the head nod... and dozens of more... "Not" waving is just rude. Even if I don't know someone, I still wave. And if they wave, I wave back... |
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This is exactly what I would write about my suburban neighborhood. Country/City- makes no difference. I think everyone is looking for that sense of belonging to the small town nostagia where everyone knows everyone and we all have "Remember that time..." stories. That is why we are hunting for a little place out in the hills. I don't want street lights or a "McMansion" (a favorite term on this board used for anyone from the city wanting to move to the country). I just want to teach my kids the old ways and I don't have the amount of space to do those things here. Why does it always seem like there are people on here that are like "sorry- we are no longer taking applications for new residents." A little disappointing to me. |
I understand what people are saying about destroying a way of life. Land is split up to make small patches for the city people, and they put a house on those 10 acres or something. But just imagine if developers slapped 100 houses on an acre like they do here just to turn a profit because land is so expensive. A house per ten acres is better than 100 per acre where everybody has a ten-by-ten foot yard space.
As for chasing dogs off property, I imagine that does get annoying. I'm so sick of house pets, though; when I move away from hope I probably won't have one for the rest of my life. |
But I also agree with mezzogirl. People move to the suburbs all the time and few people complain. It seems like a double standard to me.
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Believe it or not, life in the suburburbs has changed a lot since people started building them in the mid to late 1800s.
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The ones I referred to in MY post (for example) are the ones who come out to "get away from it all" and then surround themselves with the same stuff they wanted to get away from!! The ones who think because they live in a multimillion dollar house and don't have mud on their perfect expensive cars, that they are better than me; and these are the people who drive down a quiet road and think NOTHING of throwing a coke can out the window. (ok, the beer bottles might belong to that guy down the end of my lane, but I digress). |
We have recently acquired a new kind of "city slickers." They are the kind who belive that just because they own the land they can do anything with it.
One of them was building a new home and decided his 2 acre front yard was too low. So he used his construction company to dump dirt on it. All day long for weeks, dump trucks ran up and down the road. Then the neighbours on either side worried that the change of level was affecting their septic beds. They called the town to see if he had a permit. He didn't, so there is a stop construction order on his house, a $50,000 fine and an order to remove the dirt. Another neighbour (who doesn't actually live here) decided he could: -light a fire on a dry August day, burning his neighbour's fencing. $5,000 damage - he paid - drain his flooded land the next spring by digging a 10 foot deep ditch which carried the water back to neighbour's farm fields. Reported to authourities. - cut hay on adjacent unfenced land. Neighbours had to put up fences to stop him, even though there has been no problem for over 50 years that the boundary has existed. (When his baler broke down, he asked my husband for help. No way since he had stolen our hay for 2 years.) - butcher calves and throw the bones and offal over the fence. - build a barn with no permit or environmental study, even though we have watershed protection laws forbidding it. A stop construction has been issued once the frame went up. - put up fences and temporary buildings built of salvaged junk along the front of the property that make it look like a backwoods camp. (The properties around him have sold for $750K to 3 million, so this isn't that type of area.) - In this junkyard he raises mangy bony sheep and calves on land with no running water in the winter. They seem to be gone since the last storm. The neighbours in this area are friendly, help each other out and have frequent neighbourhood parties to which almost everyone is invited. However people like these 2 cause everyone to be on their guard for anything illegal which they report to the authorities. This is a neighbourhood that is pretty willing to allow anyone to do anything reasonable without reporting it, but some people don't seem to get what is reasonable. |
For it is written, "If you act like a flaming butt hole, you will be referred to as a flaming butt hole". This applies no matter where you live.
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CamM,
There are buttholes wherever you go....doesn't matter whether they are from the city or the country. And a lot of those "locals" haven't necessarily been there all that long to be putting on airs about how things should be. For example, our farm belonged to cousins of my wife since Western Reserve times. Passed out of family hands for 9 years and then we bought back part of it. There's only two other families in the area that have been there more than a generation but to hear some of those folks you'd think they were there before the Indians. I had one fellow tell me how he had permission to hunt our property for as long as he could remember. Well, George (the crossroads are named Toots crossroad) who sold the farm out of family hands (He's 86) still lives down the road and he doesn't recollect ever allowing this guy to hunt the property. The folks that we bought back it from were against hunting period. People will claim the most outrageous things. So here's my recommendation if you are concerned. find out where the local eating hole and the local drinking hole are in the areas you are interested in. Spend some time listening to the local gossip. Spending some time at the local farmers exchange is also a good place to pick up the vibes. I'm not recommending the local churches because for the most part folks will sit straight in a pew regardless. Subscribe to the local paper. Hang out at the county fair or the rib burnoff. Some communities will be more welcoming than others. Communities aren't a monolith - same thing goes for neighbors. And even if you choose careful, things change. We have some neighbors that we allow to come and go across our land as they will. We trust them and the feeling is mutual. There's others that we don't because they are lying cheating stealing cusses. They are all ----y and moany about how we are doing them wrong. Tough nuggies. And dont' forget, there's folks that have moved to the city from the country and then back. I went to a one room schoolhouse when I was young and we were sure happy to get a party line when ma bell got around to stringing our neck of the woods. I went to college, travelled the world a fair bit and now I'm settling down. And I'm not as old as these facts might lead some people to think. Some of these "country folk" sure look citified from my perspective. They wouldn't know which end of a plow to hitch up to if their life dpended on it. For that matter, a lot of em couldn't (or wouldn't) spend a whole day behind a kicker stacking hay. So don't get overly concerned about some of the negative opinions expressed here and in other places. If you pull your own freight and play it straight you'll do fine. There will be some that take to you and some that will never. Some will try to help you and some will try to buffalo you. That's just the nature of things. Mike |
This describes my situation as well
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It did take years to get to this point tho, the first couple of years I lived here were rough, the only time women would talk to me is if they wanted to know how much we paid for the farm, or if I would do babysitting, for free. While I tried to be tactful with my answers, just the fact that I wouldn't come right out with how much we paid, seem to create resentment. But they have moved on to gossiping about the big houses across the road from me, that are selling for upwards of $600,000 each. At least they were last year. Being built by a LOCAL builder. But being sold to 'out of towners'. I think a lot of the problem comes from resentment. I wish I had a dollar for everytime some one has said to me "We WERE going to buy your place, we were just waiting for the price to go down" accompanied by a frown, or outright hostility. Dude, get over it.:sleep: You snooze, you take the chance you will lose. |
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