Need advice about a thief

Maybe she didn't have $20 on her and figured she'd bring the rest by later. Ask her about it and find out.

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Marvelous Madame
Be kind to others. You do not know what burdens they are carrying.

Gosh, $20 for that pumpkin would have been like stealing it from what I've read. There is a guy on my pumpkin message board that just gave $95 for one that was 185#. I guess it is all in where you live. He was saying that they go, and go fast in the DC area because hotels and such buy them up for displays. Just food for thought. You folks that grow the big kins might not realize some people would pay big bucks for a kin that size.

Good luck in resolving your problem.

Jamie

I think my point was missed. The lady DID NOT lift a 150 lb. pumpkin.
Someone helped her load it. The seller doesn't mention anyone being with her. Who loaded the pumpkin? Why didn't they get the money then?
Just too many unanswered questions.

Here's something to think about: perhaps she deposited the whole $15 but didn't make sure the $5 was fully in the box and someone else came later and grabbbed the $5 out of the slot. I don't think you can automatically assume this person is 100% guilty, unless you monitor that box 100% of the time (in which case you wouldn't need the box)

If you're going to use honesty boxes, you have to understand not eveyone is honest and things are not always as they appear. If she did scam you for $5 you learned a lesson, if she did not and you accuse her wrongly......

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Apocalyptic and Survival Fiction - Readers and writers welcome

to bring up that lincoln quote again - fool me once....

now that her true colors have shown, stop being generous towards her. all the time that you have been giving her vegetables and such, she wasn't a grateful recipient, she was using you. If she was grateful, she would have given you something in return - like a note or homemade craft or baked good. the pumpkin was the final act of using you. be thankful this cycle of being used didn't end up in a greater financial loss - ie power tools and/or farm equipment, and adjust your neighborly dealings accordingly.

btw - i would gently tell her about your hurt feelings the next time you have to be around her. you offered her a bargain price and she lowered it to a steal.

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There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.

I'd go with this too. I have learned from experience that people like this can change, but usually don't. (Sorry, it's what I've seen)
I would not give her any more free veggies/apples either. I suppose it may be good that you learned her true character with $5. You never know it could have been worse.

Confrontation is one of those unpleasent chores in life. Unpleasent, but necessary. I wouldn't make it easy on her, especially if she has a reputation for this sort of thing. I would walk up to her front door & tell her you came up $5 short on that pumpkin. Not acting mad, but assertive. Then give her an "out", (maybe you didn't hear me right or miss understood me but the price was $15 & you only payed me $10). If she denies it or refuses to pay I'd let her know there are consequences, (don't come to our stand anymore). If you make it easy on her she won't respect you & most likely steal again. If you make it hard on her, she might think twice next time. Think about it as more for her good then yours.

I was a little shocked by the low asking price of the pumpkin as well.

After reading everyone's responses, I think you ought to ask her about it, then have nothing to do with her in the future, if you get the feeling she did in fact steal from you (I think people are giving her the benefit of the doubt because you didn't say how many people have access to the box).

I'd feel bad for her if it was a food item. Unless she plans on living on pumpkin pie into the future, I don't think she 'needed' the pumpkin.

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All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.

Mark Twain

Do you honestly think they don't already know that stealing is wrong - and that what you say to them will make even a squat bit of difference?

I agree with lots of other folks - chalk it up to lessons learned and change the way you do business.

Be glad you got ten...

In the good ol days there was such a thing as right and wrong, and folks reciprocated... I help you, you help me...

Nowadays, entitlements mean never having to say thank you...

Be glad she didn't ask you to carve out something, take the seeds and roast them for them, install some little laser show, and come over and cook whats leftover, or clean up the rotting mess in a few weeks...

ROTFL so true! If this 'neighbor' didn't pay the full amount, it's theft plain and simple.

To the op: I really am sorry you have to even think about this. Your neighbor sounds like a real piece of 'work'.

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All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.

Mark Twain

I wouldn't confront her, but I sure wouldn't be generous about giving her food in the future. She's shown you her true colors.

Sorry about the slow update. I am the only person with a key to the Locked up box that is screwed down. Kind of funny to call it an honesty box. I am going to head down to her place later today, I can't let this slide, having something stolen from my family is not something I take. I will however be tactful and give her a way out which I am sure she will use to lie. I don't care if I get the $5 she just needs to know it's not right.

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"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards"

It's called a $10 seminar. You just paid $10 for the lesson, now learn from it. When you see this person, if you ever do that is, tell her point blank that she will get no more price reductions or discounts, ever. Let her know that she used all her discounts.

Now get a grip on pricing your product. Sounds like you were using giveaway pricing to start with.

WIHH - just a suggestion for the coming times...

DON'T rely on this "look'em in the eyes" technique. I can look you in the eyes and lie all day long. You would never guess anything was amiss.

BTW - Please don't get the wrong idea. I do consider myself an honest person. I deal with crazies and druggies for a living. Lying instead of fighting is safer for everyone involved.

too bad you couldn't have someone "take back" (hack a huge wedge out of the best looking side) ohhhh... about a third of the pumpkin and take it back home and feed it to the livestock.

I hope it turns out well for you.

I have a standard I use to judge my reaction in situations like this... I ask myself: to what end? What do I want to happen and do I have a reasonable expectation that what I want to happen will happen?

In this case, You're not likely to get the money, you're not likely to show her the error of her ways, you're not likely to even get an acknowledgement that you caught her (she's going to lie). So what is the point?

It really sounds to me like you just want to confront her about it... problem is that is very likely exactly what you'll get... confrontation. I have no problem at all with confrontation if I have some possible gain but I don't see the point of confrontation just for its own sake?

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"We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid".

I agree; especially since it is a neighbor who lives CLOSE by.

I went down and was very nice. It went like this. Hello, my wife forgot to get the money from you for that pumkin. She said no I put it in the payment box, I smiled and said that's strange there was only $10 in there for the day and I am the only one with the key. She got upset and said she put the money in there. I told her who knows what happened, I just wanted to get to the bottom of it, have a nice day and enjoy the pumpkin. I did not raise my voice, all I hoped to do is let her know I will call her out and let her know that I knew what happened. I think she figured that more folks would buy stuff that day and I would never notice. I don't think she will be back and if she does she will be told to leave.

Thanks for all the suggestions, but we can't just let people steal from us and not stand up for our family, it will only get worse if we do.

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"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards"

Hmmmmmmmm, how about returning the $10 and taking the pumpkin back?

But then I'm not always nice.

I agree, confront her, very politely, about it. If you can tell when she is being dishonest, and this time she is, give her the money back and take the pumpkin, and don't have anything to do with her, at least, again.