What is your best all time prank?

call every retirement home in three states and tell them you are extremely interested in their retirement nursing home facility, and give them your MIL address. The mailbox will be overflowing for the better part of a year.

If your pregnant wife ever wedgies you walking into kmart........wait approximately 2 months or when she is 8 months pregnant, and then take her out to eat with friends to her favorite craving spot(Waffle House).When the waitress comes to take your order....stand up and say " Well if you had not slept with your Uncle this would have never happened .....and stomp out quickly.

On a side note....make sure no one from your work is in there as it can backfire when people mumble around you for a few weeks......until you finally find out what they are talking about and try and convince them that it was a prank.

I would but I'm not sure what the statute of limitations on some things....

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Respect The Cactus!

To place Zip ties on the drive shaft of a truck or car.The look of the driver as they go faster it gets louder.
Working on a hospital and everyday some one would find their lunch missing. We thought it was the super. So we all concocted a lunch with an extremely irresistible burrito.!00 degree heat and a plastic job johnny. When it hit him (and we were right) we all watch from several stories up as he made it to the porta potty. someone then parked a skylift next to the door. After a few minutes you could see this arm waving out of a crack in the door. He was left in there for about an hour. No one else lost their lunch

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Big D Farm Blog

for the military minded... good for newbies
roll of flight line
check the backup lights on a vehicle (they dont have any)
box of grid squares
blank adaptar for a greanade launcher
go to supply and get som BA1100NS (balloons)
cammo paint

at work i sent a new guy to the tool crib for fallopian tubes. the crib attendent went to look for them LOL. the female attendent came up and was asked if she new where they were. she said yes but you cant have mine.
also copper magnet

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to understand reality,one must define the concept of fantasy

I have seen this done twice. Swipe someone's lottery numbers. Set them up to ask you for the numbers somehow. I've "read" the paper and asked a dumb question about the numbers so that they asked what they were, pretended to have my own and asked "What does it mean when you have two?" or whatever.
Once they ask, give them their own numbers and stand back.
Much whooping, hollering, carrying on will ensue. Usually they figure it out when they see you rolling on the floor laughing. Then you run because they will come after you.
Once they have settled down a bit and your life is no longer in danger ask...
"So how does it feel to win the lottery?"
Better run again.

Jena

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...to be a rock and not to roll...

I actually like to do this when I go to these home shows with all the door prize boxes that they put mailing lists together off of. I would not do it to my MIL, but I have some friends who get endless supplies of flyers for gutters, windows, woodstoves, AC, sunrooms, etc

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Justice is the insurance which we have on our lives and property. Obedience is the premium which we pay for it.

............. Use too go clubbing every friday night with a random group . There was this very attractive girl whom all male members of the group were always trying to get in the sack . So , I took my turn and was UNsuccessful as all others had been . Made me madd lol ; this girl liked to drink Margurita's out of a 12 inch tall glass about 2 inches in Diameter which she would bring with her from home . I purchased a pack of EXtral large condoms , after she had drank about half the contents from her glass I slipped a condom over the end for a goot n' tite fit and pushed the othwerwise empty condom down into the glass.........Well she came back from dancing , open her big mouth , tilted her head back and took a big ole drink of condom-arita.....lol ! Poor thing almost choked , then she held the glass upside down with the contents jumping up and down like a trampoline . We were laughing so hard it took 3 or 4 dances to get our composure back . Besides we were all drunk and that made it even funnier . Dumb kids and their pranks ! , fordy

Electric Fence controller? hooked up to the Bosses metal desk.

Hot peppers smeared all over the bosses metal desk.
And he touched it everywhere and was sweating very bad.
They did stop him before he went to the bathroom


In the Navy we would smear black grease on the inside of newbies
goggles, the inside padding was black so it was hard to spot.

In Highschool Vo-Tech we dumped a bottle of fart spray in another
classes heater and cranked it up.

Worked with a guy who used the floor board of his truck as a trash can.
So we put a container of chicken livers under some trash.
One hot day on the way home the smell got so bad he had to pull
over and find the source. No one ever admitted to doing that one.

My father told us about when he was young and on the farm. When it came to baling and hauling hay bales with a crew, there was one guy who always jumped on the tractor to drive. The other guys had to throw bales onto the wagon and stack them. It got old real fast, so one of the men smeared that cheese that smells like poop all over the steering wheel of the tractor.

When I was a kid the old mean guy down the street from us was so obsessed about his pristine lawn that he would scream obscenities at every kid on the block who even looked like they were going to step on his grass. Even 3 year olds.
He fertilized it and mowed it religiously. He dug huge trenches along the sidewalk just so our bike tires would get caught and we would wipe out and if we fell on his grass and he would scream at us for falling on it. He would stand guard with his hose and squirt us if we just walked by. He was just plain mean.
Things escalated when Keith who lived across the street from the old grouch lost his football to the guy. It landed on his lawn one day and he came screaming out of his house with a butcher knife and stabbed it. Keith’s mom handled it her way involving the police but us kids plotted our own revenge. About 14 of us between the ages of 3-9 all went on a summer long campaign of blowing dandelion fuzzies in front of his house.
The next spring this guys lawn was absolutely yellow. When me and Keith saw that we made a sign that said “Keep off the weeds” and hid it in his bushes so everyone could see it except him. His lawn was never the same again.

At a workplace one year it was a nursing home I was head cook on the night shift. My mother was head cook for day shift. My moms and our boss's brithdays were the same.
So after my crew and I got the finnal cleanup done, We had to be timmed out by 10pm. then nurses come get drinks and snacks.
we came back in the back door I had key the 4 of us wrapped everything in the kitchen and boss's office in wrapping paper.
We thought it to be funny it did make them late getting breakfast severed and put them behind all day. Which put us behind all eveing has they had to leave by 2pm. and left us with all the lunch clean up. We didnt get out till midnight that next night.

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'It Is A Wise Father Who Knows His Own Child'
Shakespeare
A WOMAN MUST NOT RELY ON A MAN TO PROTECT HER, SHE MUST LEARN TO PROTECT HERSELF.
SUSAN B. ANTHONY

wow, the fuzzy dandelion one is funny! Does anyone remember the show WKRP where the turkeys were dropped? I've tried to find it on youtube and it's not there. I remember laughing so hard I p'd myself watching that one.

I know I've shared this before, but my high school senior year was memorable in all the pranks we pulled. The best was when we put boxes of detergent and glycerin into the banks' new outdoor fountain. From what we could tell, everyone seemed to really enjoy bubbles everywhere downtown. . . except maybe the bank owners. Another adventure was when we switched all the real estate signs between Lebanon and Campbellsville. I seem to recall that one got a mention in the local news. We had churches and schools up for sale everywhere.

The chutes should be opening at any time. . .OH MY GOD THEY'RE TURKEYS!

There are so many funny moments and quotes from that show.

Do you remember;

I’ll play Barry Manilow, I’ll play the Carpenters, just don’t tell the phone cops where I am!

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Remember, when seconds count. . .
the police are just MINUTES away!

Congress has no power to appropriate this money as an act of charity. Every member upon this floor knows it. . .Davy Crockett

Ever hear Rush Limbaugh tell about the time he and some friends hung a Mannequin from an over pass?

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Remember, when seconds count. . .
the police are just MINUTES away!

Congress has no power to appropriate this money as an act of charity. Every member upon this floor knows it. . .Davy Crockett

Just a few more to share....

Found the main street light switch in small town Sebeka, MN and pulled it down turning off ALL the lights on main street back when I was in HS.

Called my parents up to tell them the Schwann's Ice Cream truck broke down in our driveway and they were GIVING away free products because they were going to spoil anyway. My dad woke my mother up to tell her to drive over and get some. When she showed up we pretended we had no clue what she was talking about. She kept saying "I can't believe he is that smart to come up with a joke like that!" hehe

Had a coworker call my mother up on her birthday to say she won a free gift of viagra. My mom said she wasn't interested and hung up. So my coworker calls her back up apologizing "I'm sorry ma'am, we must have gotten disconnected....

Relatives from ND and WI came to visit last year. My BIL works for a cable company and knows all the cable jargon. We parked away from my parent's house and he knocks on their door (wearing, no less, a cable hat) and states "I hear you people are still calling us" (my mom calls their cable company at least once a week because they always forget how to use their remote, etc.). He talked to them awhile and then said "don't call us anymore....it's obvious you have no clue how to use a remote" and then walked out of the house and ran to our car waiting. My father yells "I'll call whenever I &^% well please! As we are driving off slowly my dad was standing at the end of the driveway fuming and was white as snow....

Mom and I were shopping at a furniture store and a salesman "Ed" asked if he could help us. Mom made the mistake of saying she was looking for a lamp. Ed followed us all over the store showing us all these expensive lamps (he was getting on our nerves and wouldn't leave us alone to browse). We left without a lamp. Later that evening I had my husband call mom and say he was Ed from the furniture store and inquire into whether or not she found a lamp, blah, blah, blah. (Husband very persistant). She finally hung up on him....

I enjoy this thread as I'm always looking for new ideas

thank you all for the laughs!

I was married to an extremely unpleasant alcoholic woman. When she got to drinking, there was nothing that I could do that was ever good enough. Not only that, but she could hold more than you'd believe, and I'd either have to listen to screaming and hollering or else get out and find her some more. It got bad enough that I kept a couple fifths in the trunk of my car all the time, when she ran out of booze, I'd drive to the end of the driveway and sit there 15 minutes, come back with one of the fifths I had.
ANYWAY.... I was in the store one day, in that little drug aisle they have at the grocery store, and saw a sale on Magnesium Citrate, which is a lemony/lime flavored laxative of mythic proportion. i kid you not, check out this site for some real life stories (my own experience from 30 years ago is on page 2, posted on 12.14.2007) http://www.poopreport.com/Consumer/m...m_citrate.html I'm telling you this stuff is the stuff of legends. Well, it was 2 for a dollar, so I got 4.
Next time she got to drinking, later that night I had to get the booze out of the trunk, and lo and behold, 4 bottles of Magnesium Citrate were just looking at me, I couldn't say no to them. Brought them in with the booze, introduced them as the mixer and happily mixed her drinks for her for the next fifth or so. There she was, on the couch, mumbling incoherently, then there was a deep rumbling sound. She sat up quickly and very obviously squeezed her cheeks together. Way too drunk to make it to the bathroom under the circumstances, but, oddly not too drunk to want another drink. I was glad to oblige. After a while, the urgency of the moment had passed, she relaxed a little, mumbled some more, kept kicking back the gin and magnesium citrate, a drink that I named the "Thriller". I heard the rumbling again, I saw the tensing of the cheeks, I saw the look when you realize theres no holding this one...then saw something I'd NEVER seen before. Her pants ballooned from the explosiveness of the diarhea, from her waist to her socks were all at once completely filled to the point of splitting. She rolled off the couch, and headed unsteadily to the bathroom, so I got in front of the Living room door and looking really concerned, ask, "Are you Okay, honey? Maybe you ought to sit down" Tried to get her back on the couch, while she was boiling over. Man, living with a drunk is a real burden, but sometimes you're just blessed with the right idea at the right time. It was weeks before she got drunk again.

Haven't done this right- tried it this April 1st but we're all pretty old, shoulda done it at 27 when I first thought of it. Get all or most of the gals at work or wherever to one by one go into the victim and say "Guess what! I'm expecting!"

DH in a military school got voted most popular in class so they blindfolded him and had him pound a tentpeg into the ground. They set his cap under the tentpeg so he about tore a hole through it. He got to have the tentpeg, autographed by the whole class. On his love me wall now.

I could not resist purchasing a charming device that reaches out for you when you lift the toilet lid. The bog monster. Have to be careful with that one- not fair to little kids or safe with old folks! But got my DH brother and cousins with it.

ok Zong...I'm worn out from laughing at your story!

When I was dating my husband, he took me home to meet his parents. My husband's father had a fantastic sense of humor, which I would soon learn.

The boys were planning to play golf the next day, and my future FIL wanted me to tag along. Since I didn't know how to play, he offered to show me how to hit the ball.

Before we started, he told me there was only one rule -- I was NOT to break his golf clubs. I was only 19, and a small, skinny girl back then, I wondered how exactly he thought I could break one of his clubs?????

Well, he set the tee, and I started to swing.....and the head of the golf club flipped backwards! I just about died from shock, until I turned and saw him laughing.

It seems there are special golf clubs meant to teach people how to swing properly - and if you don't hold them right, the head flips so it can train you. Well, I learned multiple lessons that day...

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One world, one people, one hope....peace.