breastfeeding help!

heather · #21 07/30/08, 04:21 PM

Yep, use lanolin -
You can find it in the baby section of most grocery stores

I found the first 2 wks were the worst - OUCH - I remember that pain

Call la leche & call the hospital for a "lactation consultant" - they might even send one to your home - they did for me! or you can go to them at the hospital - I did that once too

Keep at it - it will be easier soon - I know it's very hard and her hormones are nuts right now too, which will make her more emotional about everything -

I know it would be easier to have someone there in the living room or bedroom with you - but hopefully we can be of some help. I will say a prayer!

frazzlehead · #22 07/30/08, 04:28 PM

SO much good advice here, and all I can add is another "hang in there it is worth it!"

One additional suggestion ... if she has lots of milk, definitely pump some off first, and then try nursing lying down. It's very different than holding the baby but boy oh boy is it easier on the mama - and the baby if there's lots of milk! It's also wonderful if you can get the hang of it early - it's so much more restful, you don't feel so stressed by everything or worried about dropping the baby, and it's awesome for night feedings.

Let me try to describe it

Mama, lie on your side with your 'underneath' arm up and back under your head, like if you are sleeping on your side with your arm up under your ear. Then, roll forward a little bit so that your nipple ends up only a little ways off the mattress (good idea to put a towel down, you'll make a milk puddle if you have lots of milk!).

Baby is placed (daddy, this is your job) on his side, facing the nipple. Daddy, open the little one's mouth and shove his face right into that big breast - it'll seem like you're pushing him in too close and he'll suffocate, but he won't - he'll get a big mouthful and mama can use her free hand to pull back on the top of the breast if it is too round and getting in the way of Baby's nose. Daddy, hold the baby's head up to the nipple until he's nursing really well. He should sound like he's glugging but no smacking noises. He will really look like his mouth is open uncomfortably wide - it's like the great big aaaaaaaaaaaaaah shape you make for the doctor, that's how you want it to be. As he grows and mama gets more used to nursing it won't seem so big, but early on, that's how it looks.

Once the baby is latched on, mama can roll forward or backward a bit to adjust the position of the nipple so the baby can rest his little head on the bed and nurse happily on his side. This is a GREAT position for fast milk let down, the baby doesn't have to chug to keep up & so won't swallow so much air and get all bubbly and miserable.

Lansinoh is the lanolin stuff we can get here - expensive, but worth it, and you only need a small tube. Nipple shields (not the kind you wear during nursing, the kind you wear after) help the breasts air out - but going topless works and is cheaper.

If mama is using plastic backed milk soakers in her bra, get rid of them - use a folded washcloth or get cloth ones, but let those breasts dry out.

I promise, it WILL get better. Don't be afraid to call your local LaLeche number and get a real live nursing mama to come help, there is nothing like a set of friendly hands to make this easier. I'd come if I was nearer.

Blessings to you and yours - it is definitely worth it!

Oh, and if you're really worried about nipple confusion and mama really can't nurse for the pain, a sippy cup (with no valve) will work just fine. Slow, but it works, and has absolutely no risk for confusing the baby as they don't suck, you kinda pour it in and they swallow.

Hang in there!

Wags · #23 07/30/08, 04:42 PM

I hyper lactated and had to pump to relieve the pressure before nursing. If the nipples start to shows of redness, blistering or cracking get your doctor to order APNO cream ASAP! It has to be made at a compounding pharmacy, but it is worth it's weight in gold!! It takes care of pain and healing, there is nothing else out there that works nearly as well. (The link I gave for APNO has the ingredient list a pharmacy will need if they aren't already familiar with it.)

Check with your local hospital - they probably have a lactation consultant or can refer you to one.

And finally hang in there - I went through hell and cried every time I had to nurse which was every 1-2 hrs around the clock for the first couple of weeks. But it did get better during week 3 although my daughter's latch on never did get better - every one of the 4 lactation consultants caller her a "barracuda".

If you can make sure you are the one getting up for all the middle of the night diaper changes and if you aren't co-sleeping with the baby you be the one to get up and bring baby to mom so she can rest as much as possible. Make sure she has some water or juice and some snacks handy when she is nursing. Mostly be there and reassure her - women that have the support of their spouse tend to breastfeed longer than those that don't.

ETA - if you do try nursing while laying down, make sure you put a thick towel or two under momma to catch the inevitable milk dribbles. If nursing upright a cloth diaper or two tucked under the breasts makes clean up a lot easier.

The Monkey Mama · #24 07/30/08, 05:42 PM

I've been breastfeeding one baby of mine or another for 10 straight years now LOL!

Talking with LLL is a great suggestion, seeking out a *certified* Lactation Consultant is also a good idea [avoid the ones who claim to be lactation nurses or whatever, if they don't have the certification - "IBCLC"]. A good LC is worth her weight in gold and can often help solve the problem right over the phone [same with LLL - and that is free

]. Kellymom is a great site too.

Keep in mind that everyone has an opinion about breastfeeding and some of them may not be helpful to your situation. It would be most helpful to seek out the experts, you know?

Like RedTartan, I also have found breastfeeding a newborn to be painful for the first week or so - no matter how great the latch is. I know they say "it won't hurt if you do it right", but "they" are lying about that in my experience. LOL! After a week or so the nipples toughen up though and it gets much, MUCH better.

The first 1-2 weeks are always the hardest, so tell her to hang in there.

Also, be very, VERY careful about introducing the bottle before the baby is nursing *well* consistently. Some babies go back and forth with no trouble, but a lot of babies do get "nipple confusion" and never want to go back to the breast - that can be an extremely time consuming and frustrating habit to break if it happens.

Good luck to you guys - please tell your wife it is TOTALLY worth it in the end, it really is.

Kelly

plumcreekfarm · #25 07/30/08, 06:01 PM

I pmed you, but i second the lay down to nurse post. It is almost always the wat I nurse. Some of my babies even started refusing to nurse sitting up around 6 months. It is so relaxing and lets momma get a bit of sleep too. M6y boy babies would absolutly nurse all night long.

Horse Fork Farm · #26 07/30/08, 06:11 PM

When those nipples toughen up she will be amazed at just HOW TOUGH they get. But yeah, those first few days can really hurt! You just have to accept there is pain and understand it is temporary. That can be hard to do when you're tired and hormonal and overwhelmed by all the new responsibility. Thats where you can really be a huge help to her. Tell her to concentrate on the main things and that you will be there to take care of the rest. Sometimes I think young moms just get overwhelmed by all the new feelings and responsibilities and they get so tense. Babies know when mom is worried and it can affect nursing. Most of all ,tell her to remember that ALL OF US were beginners once too and all of our babies were ok whether they got it right at first or not. If you can't find a La Leche group nearby you can also call a local WIC office- they have lactation consultants too. Give her a big hug and tell her shes doing fine. You didn't say if she has normal or inverted nipples- they can be a challenge if she has them. Also there is never just one way to nurse. Tell her to get comfortable herself before putting him to the breast. One way I liked to keep the babys' mouth latched tightly was to put him in a "baby sling". It kept his head and mouth pressed tight to my breast and kept him from backing off- just make sure he has a good breathing space in there. SLings are great for tired arms and aching backs! I hope the pain passes soon! Kathy

Horse Fork Farm · #27 07/30/08, 06:18 PM

www.theslingstation.com

fin29 · #28 07/30/08, 06:34 PM

I didn't read most of the posts, but I'll tell you what the lactation consultant showed me. When she gets ready to feed, she holds her breast with the same side hand like a bottle--thumb on top and fingers underneath. Tickle the baby's lip with the nipple and as soon as the baby opens wide, aim the tip of the nipple at the roof of the baby's mouth, and shove it in as far as possible, forcing the baby's face right into the breast. Don't worry, this is a two second affair and then you adjust after that. After he latches on, use your finger to adjust the baby's lips so his lower lip isn't curled under. Also, if she's shooting milk from the breast that's not being used, she can (or you can) hold a bottle over the nipple and collect the milk for later use.

Good luck. Bad latch can make it miserable at first, but breastfeeding is a learned physical skill for her and the baby. It IS NOT generally intuitive. Treat it like learning any new skill. If it hurts, you need to try something else. But if she's been six days with bad latch, it will take a couple of days with a good latch before the soreness subsides. Before she knows it, you could run over her nipples with a front end loader and she wouldn't flinch. Keep reminding her that she's doing the best thing she could possibly do for her baby.

pinfeather · #29 07/30/08, 07:54 PM

The only things I would add:

1. Gently pinch the areola from the side when guiding it into the baby's mouth. That flattens the nipple and allows baby to latch easier.

2. NEVER use soap on your breasts when you bathe or shower - soap is very drying. Just let the water run over your breasts.

LamiPub · #30 07/30/08, 08:46 PM

I would rub milk on before and after nursing. I would also hand express at first to get the milk flowing and be relaxed...he soon learned he didn't have to latch on so hard to get his meal!

I think it is very important to be relaxed before she starts nursing and that does not necessarily come naturally. It takes time and experience to become comfortable and certain in any new area...mothering included! With no females nearby to help your dw I think contacting la leche is very excellent advice. It could help a lot just having an experienced female to talk to during these first months. Another "hint" is to allow her nipples to be exposed to air as much as possible and to "air dry" before covering.

Rowena · #31 07/30/08, 09:28 PM

Just a note of encouragement, everyone has the greatest advice and the league will definitely help. Freeze the milk in case you want to go to the store by yourself or something. It will get better!! I rubbed the milk itself on the nipples and it helped, but you need the first two weeks to toughen up no matter what.

Congratulations on such a great start!! Good Luck!!

Beaners · #32 07/30/08, 09:44 PM

I would also like to add, especially when she is still having problems with engorgement, don't go too long between feedings. I had several bouts of mastitis in the first couple months, mainly triggered by engorgement between feedings. (And they say lack of sleep and stress are factors too, but since every single new mom is tired and stressed, the focus for me was on not getting engorged.)

Mastitis feels like the flu on steroids. Everything hurts, you are shivering even though your temperature is dangerously high, and the one thing that really truly helps (other than motrin) is having the baby nurse and nurse and nurse.

I'm not trying to scare you or her, I'm just trying to emphasize that pumping to relieve engorgement cannot be worse than mastitis. Even if you have to pump every day to relieve that pressure until your baby is done nursing, it is not worse than mastitis.

By the way, congratulations!

Kayleigh

PurpleMartineer · #33 07/30/08, 09:58 PM

It will get better--even with a proper latch it can be painful, especially if this is a first. I have nursed three and my first was the worst, partly because I was inexperienced, but each time it was painful for a little while until I toughened up a bit LOL. The one product which I COULD NOT LIVE WITHOUT with my first was a product called SOOTHIES. Get these for you wife. They are silicone patches which go over the nipple and they are cooling, if you put them in the fridge it is like a dream.....sooo satisfying and soothing and just what I needed. You have to find them, you can get em at the pharmacy.

Personally I wouldnt use oragel, it will make the babies mouth numb and that won't help anything. You should not hear a clicking sound, you should be able to see the babies jaw going up and down a bit from the side as he swallowing and hear a swallowing sound faintly, but no loudish clicking. I am betting he isnt latching properly.

It is really a difficult thing to do not having any other females around to show you exactly how to do it. I had an amazing midwife who basically grabbed the baby's head and by boob and did it for me until we got the hang of it. Baby is learning too. Its a difficult and clumsy and yes, painful time. It take a good 3 weeks to get it down. You have to commit. She can do it.
One other VERY IMPORTANT THING--make sure she and the baby are belly to belly--the baby should not have to turn his head to reach the nipple. The mother needs to turn the baby fully to make his entire front side facing her completely--BELLY TO BELLY--NO HEAD TURNING to reach. This is bad positioning and will cause major pain problems and pain!

I had major blisters with my first for probably 2 weeks. They are normal and will go away. GET THE SOOTHIES, put them in the fridge and tell her to commit and hang on -- IT WILL GET BETTER and try to find someone experienced to come to your house. La Leche League or a lactation consultant from the hospital/birthing center. Call the hospital to find someone. Both birthing facilities I was in )birthing center and hosp) offered at home lactation services.

If you want you can PM me and I will give you my phone number so you can call, I would try to help your wife over the phone.

Edited to add that I am nursing my third right now--she is 8.5 mos old.

BEST,
Alisa~

neal68 · #34 07/30/08, 10:25 PM

I thoroughly agree with every post I've seen. It's definitely hard to get the little angel to latch on right if mom is engorged, and that equals more pain than would naturally come from newborn and mom learning how to work together. I also didn't nurse my first or second and did the last three. I still remember my first time. I cried EVERY time I nursed dd, my poor dh would try to help and I would just cry about the pain and how I wanted to stop but I didn't want to stop. I Know it feels like its a pain that could never possibly go away, but just look at all of our success stories and take it to heart that this too shall pass. Ok ok the first person that told me this I wanted to deck in the nose, but each day did get a little better especially when I received advice like you see here and I went to the breast feeding coordinator at our hosp. I also produced enough milk that I could have supported a little baby army, so I would keep a towel under the breast that was not in use to collect the run off so to speak lol. Please assure you dw that it does become a truly beautiful thing I know that's hard to believe right now, but the first time your blessing smiles at you from your breast you'll see, and then forget that you were feeling any of that pain.

Otter · #35 07/30/08, 10:49 PM

Beaners had a good point about the mastitis and someone else had a good point about pressure triggering the body to stop making as much milk.
Pump the milk and Bind those puppies up! My solution was to get a 10 dollar bra, the un-sexy kind with the cups that cover the whole breast. Get one with the cup size one size smaller then her regular size, not what fits when she's all full, and a little bigger around the chest. Put them on and trace circles around where her nipples are, then take it off and cut out the circle. Now she has something to wear that will let her air out and still supply some pressure to discourage even more milk. Best 10 dollars you'll ever spend. You can also cut little squares out of an old, thin, soft towel and put them on the inside to cover the hole. Very comfy and will catch drips, easy to wash and still very airy. Just don't try to nurse with it on. If the hole is big enough to nurse, it's probably too big to give the support you're looking for.

Nellie · #36 07/30/08, 11:18 PM

I've nursed 9 babies, including a set of twins. I *always* had sore nipples the first two weeks. Then it magically got better. I think that's how long it takes to grow new skin. I always made enough for twins, I thought. Then when I had twins, I realized I made enough for triplets.

The engorgement seemed to last about a week, and the soreness for two, but with the twins it lasted for 6. It was pretty miserable. But SO WORTH IT in the long-run! Along about baby number 6 I decided that I had avoided all OTC drugs (like Tylenol and Sudafed, etc) for the last 10 years, but by golly, this hurt so bad I started taking some just to deal with the pain. I figured two weeks wasn't going to hurt the baby.

She might consider that she could have a yeast infection in her skin. Ask the LLL person how to deal with that. I would recommend taking lots and lots of probiotics, like 10 capsules of acidophilus three times a day. There is a supplement you can order online that is a probiotic that kills yeast, it's called ThreeLac. She could also put a little bit of yogurt on her nipples after nursing.

Something very soothing is black tea bags, boiled, then cooled, then placed directly on the nipples. The tannic acid helps toughen the skin up.

Some women swear by cabbage leaves, fresh and raw, tucked inside the bra, covering the breast, to help decrease engorgement. I found that twins helped that problem the best, lol.

Carbs help make milk, if she's making too much, lay back on the simple carbs, like juice and bakery stuff and sugar. If she's not making enough, juice is good, lots of fruits and veggies along with meals, and good whole grains.

There are also some herbs that help decrease the milk supply, but use with caution. Ask the LLL person for that info (I think Black Walnut tincture was one, but I'm not sure). I found that diuretic-type herbs like dandelion and parsley actually *increased* supply.

Yes, congratulations, what an exciting new adventure! Tomorrow won't be the same as today, and next week will be better than last. Next month will be better than this month, and before you know it, you will find your new normal. Blessings to you and your new baby!

Lynn Bodoni · #37 07/30/08, 11:55 PM

When I had this problem, I was told by the LLL to let sun shine on my nipples. I was able to open my back door and sit in my kitchen to do this. I also didn't use the nipple pads to soak up the extra milk I was producing, I figured I'd use folded up paper towels. This was the WORST thing I could have done. The pads (or, for that matter, folded up diapers or soft hankies) did not aggravate my nipples.

Breast feeding helps mother and baby bond, it forces the mother to sit or lie down for a bit, and is great for the babies immune system. Once the new mother's nipples have toughened up a bit, she'll really enjoy her nursing time. I am not very maternal at all, but even I mellowed out while I nursed, and it triggered love for my daughter in me. I didn't love her the first couple of days (I know that sounds awful), but the hormones kicked in and I fell in love with her when I started nursing her.

Lizza · #38 07/31/08, 01:20 AM

It looks like you have gotten really good advice. I don't know if I am repeating what others have already said but I'll list some of my advice.

Suporrt her with breastfeeding! I saw a study that said that the number 1 factor if a women continues to breastfeed to a year is the husband.

Get in touch with a breastfeeding consultant. The hospital should have one, your ob/gyn might have one, your local WIC (women's infant children) should have one, many are free over the phone. Your insurance will probably pay for a visit and if it doesn't for the price of one visit, you can not believe how much they can help. I was in tears with my oldest. I couldn't believe breastfeeding was so hard and hurt so much (well, or motherhood for that matter!). They really set me at ease and showed me what I was doing wrong.

I think some of the best advice I received was make sure you bring baby TO breast, don't bring breast to baby. It is easy for women to try and shove the breast into the babies mouth's but you need to do it the other way around.

Have you bought her one of those bobby pillows. I had one with my youngest and really felt like it made positions easier, wish I had it with the oldest ones. With or without the pillow, make sure she is trying different positions. I usually only felt comfortable in one position and that was the one I always fed in (football). Try and help her find her most comfortable position.

Lastly, nursing hurt's like heck those first few weeks, good latching or not. The first baby was the worst. The others just kind of hurt for the first two weeks but it has been 15 years and I still remember how much that first one hurt! Just a little FYI. Tell her after she's been nursing for years, her nipples will really be like leather and she won't have that problem again. Maybe not, that might not chear her up, lol.

highlandview · #39 07/31/08, 09:17 AM

Buy some lanolin cream for her soreness. It won't hurt the baby. I used to put lanolin on my toddler's thumb when she would suck it sore. Tell her to pump a little first before latching the baby on so that she is not so engorged. If she is too engorged the baby can't latch on. Also, try the football hold. It works well with a little baby.

tmfinley · #40 07/31/08, 10:57 AM

Sorry for the breastfeeding trouble. It is so tough when you are so tired and frazzled and then you have trouble feeding your baby. I went through the same thing with my sons. With my first son, after trying to breast feed and going to a lactation consultant who was rude and in my fragile mental state, MEAN, I started pumping and feeding the bottle. Doing both is exhausting. It only lasted 6 weeks before we went to formula.

With my second son I was determined to figure it out. I had the same problems. Bleeding nipples is not fun. This time I found a wonderful lady at the WIC office who helped breastfeeding mothers. Come to find out he was sucking wrong. His tongue was punching my nipples instead of suckling. The way we corrected this was to put my clean thumb, nail down, in his mouth. place your thumb in the back of the mouth until you feel the soft pallet on the roof of his mouth. Your thumb will fit snugly into the conture. It almost seems like you are going to choke him. This is actually where your nipple should be if you are BF correctly, so if he is not used to it he may gag a bit. My son started sucking my thumb. This got his tongue used to laying flat and not punching at the nipple.

Like everyone else is saying it is SO worth it, so stick in there! Hopefully the next baby goes much smoother. After my two boys, I was a surrogate and had twins. They had no problem latching on at all. Maybe it has something to do with genetics.

I hope this gets better for you all soon. Let us know how little Elijah is doing!

Tiffany