Homesteading----Alone

Forgive me for not answering your question, but taking the thread in a different direction.

If you are looking to find someone, you must do so with the same drive and enthusiasm that you do anything else. You must make it a priority in your life. I am *not* a good single person so when I was single it was a big priority to find someone. Luckily, I found a wonderful man fairly quickly (thanks, to good karma, I think). But I would have certainly put everything else on "hold" until I was at the place I wanted to be. It seems to me that you are happy where you are and you have the outlook that it *it*happens then *it* happens and you aren't going to go after it. That's fine if you are happy that way. But if you are really intent on finding a partner, you're going to have to work at it.

Personally, without my dh, none of my life would have any meaning. I would have no interest in homesteading or working hard to build a life if I did not have anyone to share it with. I hope when the time comes I die first, because I could not imagine going on alone - especially with all the work that living in the country entails (and we don't even have animals to care for). Maybe I am just lazy, I don't know, and maybe I could do whatever it took, but it certainly seems a daunting prospect.

donsgal

__________________
Life is what happens while you are making other plans. (John Lennon)

Thanks Everyone for your Replies!! To clear up a Few things-----I am No Loner, Hermit--------I have a good size family and we Are A Real Close Family and I have two kids that I am Sure would Call me Daily and Check on me. Most all my family lives within Minutes of me, I even have a Sister and Brother-in-law that live on the Edge of my Farm and We are real Close as far as caring for each other. I can not see their home from where I stay, but I know they are there at night. This Cook House I am planning to build is so My Family and I can get together Often for cook outs etc.
I guess I Dream Of "Homesteading" with Someone Special, and Have never really Dreamed of doing it Alone and "donsgal" I really have put alot of time into finding someone and have dated alot of Ladies, but none have worked out-------Guess I have been to picky. Now I am to the point------of thinking of Stopping my Search for a Lady(or maybe I should say--not let Searching be my Number One Thing) and get My Place set-up so I can live there full time. That is why I was asking you that are single my original questions about Homesteading alone. If that Special Lady comes along------while I am getting set-up or after then that will be great. Bill mention this"""Just a thought.......if you meet a woman that is interested in the living the lifestyle that you want to live........Would she be more interested in someone actually doing it??....or someone "waiting" to do it???? (Just my opinion, but I think it would be someone actually doing it.)"" This is Very True, I think I been thinking "She" would be happier if she got to Help Plan how this Cabin was going to be Built etc. But I Also Agree with All of you---I can not Wait right on---If I get it built and am living my Dream and a "Special" Lady comes alone ------I can Always Re-model if she Wants to Put Her Touch in the Place. OK------Thanks again for the Incouragement. I am going to get busy!!

Don't wait. I'm a 55 yr old woman and I figure if I don't have someone by now, I never will. So I go ahead and make my own plans. Do the same. If you find someone - great. If not, you can still have most of the life you want.

__________________
Marvelous Madame
Be kind to others. You do not know what burdens they are carrying.

Like everyone else, I say go for it. I was 46 before we moved to the country three years ago. Then DH died last summer after a fight with a cancer that won, and I am still here. I am not all alone as we have 3 children who are 10, 14, and 15 and willing to help. There are things that we cannot do--for example DH was the builder, and although we need another large shed, we have to make do. I freak out when son, 13, uses the chainsaw but he is good with it. I can't lift and heft like I used to, though.

I really would like to be even farther out in the middle of nowhere but truly wonder how I would manage without someone around...safety issues, friendship, etc.

__________________
Vanessa
Lebanon, TN

I can relate to this question above.
I have a DH who is great but - I want chickens. He doesn't like them and doens't want them. I want a goat; he says buy milk at the store. I want a hugh garden - love to can and put up stuff to supply us with food for the winter. He hates messing with a garden.
we are happy. Don't want to imply differently but sometimes it would be nice to have someone more in tune with my ideas.............
The question you ask, OldcountryBoy...............which is better? To do things as you want or live with someone you love who doesn't think like you? I don't know the answer to that. I just keep doing what I want as best as I can around his objections..................

I always knew I wanted to live in the country. I leaped when I was 30. Boyfriend helped but the relationship ended. I've been here 20 years now. Learned a lot and had lots of critters. I'm so glad I did it when I did! A hip replacement 2 years ago would have stopped me, if I had waited. Now I'm careful, carry my cell phone, gave up my cattle but expanded my sheep flock. If the right guy comes along, he is welcome to join, but I won't settle.

Kathie

__________________
www.littlebitfarm.net

I am not that old, 41 yo and just started with my first gray hair and concerns cross my mind at times the same as you all that are older than me. I am by far not in the back country but I do have 27.5 acres of rugged wooded terrain in the piedmont region of SC. Just moved here and I am doing a LOT of work, lot's of cleaning with the grapple and felling trees that the builders/septic company damaged and have died. We also had 3 acres or so clear cut and the rest 40% thinned so I got a big mess all over, even in places I can not get to except for by foot.

My wife does not want me to take trees down unless she is here, we keep a pair of FRS radios on whenever one of us is out. I have had a few instances where I have almost rolled the tractor with a stump in the grapple or by going over a large rock with a single tire while on a slope. This is the first summer I will have really been in the woods lots of hours working, last summer most of the work was on the house while under construction and I wonder about how many copperheads we have out here. Not that it's instant death but still it's a concern with the ground here so thick with old stuff you can't see a thing but brush, leaves, or branches and dead trees exactly where they love to be.

One suggestion for living alone which is a valid concern. It will cost you a few dollars but great to avoid boredom in the winter and a good safety net for those with no phone but a source of power, even if solar. Get yourself an amateur radio license and invest in a inexpensive used VHF radio and antenna. It operates off of 12 volts and has a very good range, most likley enough range to what we call a NET. Many amateur groups have remote repeating stations that will get you out very far that are free to use. Often these same groups have weekly or daily get togethers called Nets that everyone checks in that last anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour or so depending on how many people check in. That daily net could be your way to make sure you are OK. Nets are usually all the same people, eventually you will know them by the sound of their voice and they will get to know you. Tell them you will be a daily check in and your situation, if you do not check in that it may be best to check up on you. At all other times, if you need human interaction someone is usually just a click of the Microphone away, if you do not want to be bothered then the radio is off except for your daily check in. Cost ? a 10 year license along with the examination fee I belive is about $10-$14 prices just changed so I am not sure. Equipment ? A used radio can be had for less than $100 and a new one $125 on sale. An antenna can be made from scrap copper pipe and about $10 for cable and a connector depending on how far the antenna will be from the radio. If anyone has further questions just ask or PM me. I have been an amateur for over 33 years, with some simple math you can tell I was REAL young when I passed the test and it was 10 times as hard back then as it is now, ANYONE can do it now.

Rich K4GPS
Sharon SC

Same here! Although it doesn't always work out good, but sometimes it does. I've raised my own broiler chickens, wife didn't like them cause the fat on them was too yellow.(corn fed) I've raised milk goats, wife didn't like the ideal of drinking goat milk. I've raised and processed my own pig, wife didn't like eating something she thought was a cut little piggy at one time. I raise a big garden, but wife thinks it's too much work to can or freeze the vegetable. Or, why work so hard in the garden when we can go to the store and buy it.

Love my wife but gosh, I sometimes wished I was married to some of the women on this board who share my passion. But I married her for better or worse, so I guess I'll keep her so long as she wants to keep me.

I have sort of the same problem, with a little twist. I don't actually homestead yet, but I WANT to! I've been waiting 20 years hoping to meet a man who would share my interests so we could do it together. Instead I'm sitting here (at 52 also), alone and still waiting. I just didn't think I could do it by myself. Now I've got a heart condition, but it's manageable if I'm careful, and it's not ever going away.

So I just decided I'm going to do it anyway, all by myself. It's what I've dreamed of most of my life, time's getting short, and after finding these boards and reading about all the wonderful, smart, brave single women here who do it they gave me the courage to make the leap.

I just moved to my place with five acres in January and although I'd like it better if I had a man in my life to share it all with I just don't want to waste any more time...although it will be a little longer. I broke my arm the day after I moved in, and the doc says it's going to be 8-9 months before I have normal use and strength back, so I had to postpone the garden I wanted to get in this spring and the chickens and rabbits I planned to get right away.

But I have my place and I know those things will come soon, and I'm so happy and so excited! Don't waste your life waiting for what may never come! It's really sweet and thoughtful that you want to wait to let the woman help make the decisions on the cabin, but if she's the type of woman you want I'm sure she wouldn't mind moving into your cabin as is and then putting her special touch on it. Good luck.

That is the most difficult aspect of going it alone I think. When you see a beautiful sunset you have no one to share it with. When you see all of the wonders and fascinating things in nature around you there is no one to share it with. When you're coming in from doing chores or being away and you have to walk into an empty quiet house it isn't at all pleasant. When you don't have anyone to share the special things in your life with, those special things which have meaning lose a great deal of their preciousness. It does take a lot of the joy out of things.

__________________
Respect The Cactus!

I don't homestead alone, no; but I'm home alone the majority of the time. And we're very remote. You cannot see our home from the road; it's in the middle of the first 40 acres, set into a grove of trees. Yes I worry about something happening and no one being around. I could scream and it's doubtful anyone would hear me. I carry a cellphone with me and sometimes I carry a pistol or rifle.

I am not a loner - I much prefer being with someone else to share with and talk to. But since we're so remote, it's too far for family & most friends to come visit. Winters are extremely difficult for me but a lot of that is because of our harsh winters and me getting snowed/iced in (we have a very difficult driveway in).

We've accomplished a great deal here and are very proud of those accomplishments. We still have a lot we'd like to do (some things are MY wish list, LOL). Things take time, money and a great deal of effort. So we tackle this and then we tackle that.

Whatever you do, live your dream and build your cabin. Make it flexible so you can add on or make changes. I'd highly recommend an open floor space so it's easier to heat, cool and get natural lighting thruout the house. It also makes the home feel larger. If I were building a new home, I'd have a wrap around porch with roof over it so I could sit outside even if it was raining. I'd want skylights for natural lighting, a wood burning stove that I could also cook on - but I'd still want a nice kitchen (I love to cook & bake), I'd love to be off grid and on a well.

Go ahead and start planning your cabin design. You might just meet up with your perfect mate while you're in the process of building!

Good luck to you.

I just turned 60 last month..and as SOON as I can possibly accomplish it, I'll be back on some land with critters..it's not an option to wait to find someone with a similar mind set..I want to live my life in a certain manner..homesteading!

I noticed you are from Conway, SC. We vacation in Myrtle Beach, SC and go to a church in Conway when we are there. Nice area!

Jenn

Dear Riverman- Since I was a child, I have always prefered to be alone. I feel comfortable with myself and enjoy doing things alone. Not everyone feels the same. If you can find someone that accepts you exactly way you are without criticism or wanting to change your ways, then keep company with that person. Otherwise, you are better off alone. Chef

Yeah, but that's what dogs and cats are for (or Trixie would say rabbits).

Yes, it would be nice to share those wonderful moments with someone, but I've lived alone for so long now, I've learned to accept that they are for me to enjoy even if I'm alone. And I never walk into an empty house. I have three dogs wagging their tails, with smiles on their faces when I come home, and cats or dogs to cuddle with when I need some love. And chickens and guineas and goats that make me laugh every day.

You are already enjoying things alone. You will just enjoy them much more being in a place that sooths your soul.

*waving my hand*

Yep. 15 years by myself. EXCEPT I had my son (who was 3 1/2 at the time).

He's been away at school since he was 15 (Culver and now as an exchange student and then probably to USC. All scholarship, btw). So, yes. Alone.

Woo HOO!! I've had friends help over the years, but mainly just me. If I want to paint the dog with skunk stripes? I do!

If I want to make a 30' bottle tree? I do!

Granted, it's harder to do stuff with just one? But I moved a multiple hundred pound deep bathtub to another area in the yard (think raised bed for strawberries) with roller poles and a lever & fulcrum.

*shrug* BUT I've been a farmer all my life so I think differently than say someone that's been citied all their life. Like the difference between a rabbit raised on wire and one that lives in a burrow in the dirt. No disrespect? Just gotta think different.

__________________
Radically conservatively un-biased liberal.

http://whitepinesoapworks.com/

Do it!.. yes, sure a woman would love to plan a house.. but that is no reason to put your entire life on hold.
It is equally nice for a woman to meet a man who has the confidence, peace and mellowness that comes with the success of doing his own thing. Live your life. Find inner peace. Get happy and get on with it. Then..then... she will come. When you are finally happy and have your place and everything is just the way you like it..then..then she will come. Just when you have decided that you like being single and having the place all to your self and you have your routine down..then..then..she will come.

And she will be inpressed. And she will stick blooming herbs into the bare places along the fence. And you will have daffodils in the spring where once were none. And much better curtains.

So..get on with it. Noone is impressed with a pile of building supplies in the back yard with a tag on them that says, "dream".

yes, I love my DH more than the lifestyle that I want.
We compromise; that's the name of our game. I raise broilers for the freezer but don't keep layers and buy eggs from a neighbor lady that does. We don't have a goat; I get milk from a gal near us that has several that she milks. We raise a 'compromised/size' garden that he agrees to help tend and I get extra produce to can/freeze from our local farmer's market. He helped a farmer friend bale hay last summer; then took his pay in the form of a butchering hog to go in the freezer.
We have worked things out so we each have a taste of the way we want our life to be without stressing the other partner with what they don't want.
Has worked for 47 years.

...what we need here is a Matchmaker I know I'm a hopeless romantic, but I'm reading this thread with post from single men and women both seemedly missing the same things and I'm thinking...how can we get these folks together ...

Marlene

__________________
It is the one with persistence and determination that brings great ideas into being.

You know, I have been a single mom for too many years to bother counting, but most of the time I prefer it that way. I will be buying a farm of my own in about 5 years and will be going it alone. I'm a little worried about accidents, but not really. I figure I will have a cell phone as well as a CB or HAM radio. Other than that, my kids will know to call me every so often.

Go for it.