You know you live in the country when...

Mysticdream44 · #21 02/03/08, 04:04 PM

You know your in the country when your daughter and future son-in-law decide to have their wedding and reception in the barn hay loft, and you have to get Aunt Bessie up to the loft by using a redneck elevator "the bucket on the front of the tractor", cause Aunt Bessie can't walk up the steps into the loft.

One of the rosters decides to give a nice loud crow at the end of the "I Do's".

You find the groomsmen have tied pipe tobacco cans and Skoal cans to the back of the wedding car, plus toliet paper wrapped all the way around it.

6e · #22 02/03/08, 04:09 PM

-When you stand there staring at your almost new minivan wondering how many goats you can squeeze into the back cause your stock trailer is buried in snow.
-When you can count the number of cars that go by in a 24 hr period on one hand.
-Try to figure out how to get a round bale of hay into the goat pen in 4" of mud.
-When you keep getting a whiff of buck and all of a sudden you realize it's you from petting and hugging on your baby.

celadon · #23 02/03/08, 04:53 PM

I enjoyed all of these answers. They were all so true.

Wolf mom · #24 02/03/08, 04:59 PM

You drive home & see your neighbor riding his horse trailed by his pet goat.

The sheriff, lights & all, stops your truck to ask if You remember him, asks how you're doing now and states he testified at your X's trial two years ago.

You can shoot maurading rabbits on your own property.

You can see a gazillion stars at night & listen to the night speak.

big rockpile · #25 02/03/08, 05:35 PM

Your neighbor leaves cookies in your Mailbox on the Highway because its easier to walk to then your house.

You take the Sheriff on down to your other neighbors place because he can't make it back that far,and figures it was worth $35.

It takes an hour for a First Responder to get to your house from the highway,in a Pickup,to take you to the Ambulance.

big rockpile

ozarkcat · #26 02/03/08, 06:08 PM

. . . . If you have to call your nearest (1 mile away) neighbor to pick up her horse before it gets onto the highway.

. . . . If you drag out all the emergency supplies when the power flickers.

. . . . If you only have a curtain on the road-side of your outdoor shower.

. . . . If your postman has 4WD to get down the straight-downhill, suicide hill driveway to deliver a package.

. . . . If you can still hear the obnoxious milk goat a quarter mile away (through forest) because you had the audacity to check the mailbox before milking her.

. . . . If you have to carefully consider which stories you're going to tell at church ("lopping his balls off" is guarantees to bring a dead stop to all coffee hour conversation)

. . . . If you know you'll have to be careful around a couple corners 'cause Brian's pigs got out again.

. . . . If you know exactly how much feed & hay you can fit in a midsize sedan.

sage_morgan · #27 02/03/08, 08:10 PM

You know you live in the country when ...

You can accurately identify at least five types of manure by the smell.

You can tell without getting up, who it is driving by by the sound of the engine. You can tell when they are hauling something, too.

You can tell when strangers are driving by, usually by the erratic speed. You jump up to look.

Your favorite sounds are the local owls courting at night and the neighbor dog howling at the passing trains.

Walt K. in SW PA · #28 02/03/08, 08:59 PM

you know you live in the country when...

...you have Pileated woodpeckers in your front yard.

...you get a Screech owl trapped in your coal bin.

...you find a Black rat snake taking a nap behind your commode.

P.S. those front porch shower pictures reminded me - my wife would take showers like that on the patio (we had an old claw foot tub set under the spigot) when the kids were tots

EDDIE BUCK · #29 02/04/08, 12:13 AM

You know you live in the country, when you no better than to ask farmer Brown; What you guna do with them corn cobs sticking out of your back pocket and for heavens sake don't ask How come two is red and one is white? He's going to say, I don't believe in wasting anything and that includes corn cobs. I use one red cob hoping that it will get the job done. Cobs are a lot like people, some are good workers and some just because they are at the job site, dosen't mean they are doing a good job. Heres where the white cob comes in, it does an inspection on 1st cob's jobsite and determines wether a good enough job has been done, thus saving number 2 red cob for another job later,

If not then number 2 will be called in for the job and on extreme occasions, white cob may make a 2nd appearence as well. LOL

If that dang rooster that wakes you up every morning ,is not your rooster

. You can safely say, you are in the country. Eddie

**Kris in MI** · #30 02/04/08, 01:15 PM

---you call the high school to excuse your son for a dentist appointment and spend 15 minutes on the phone with the school secretary as she asks how your family and extended family have been lately, or talks about how her granddaughter had a ball at your daughter's birthday party THREE MONTHS ago!

---you know what time you have to leave home in the morning to keep from getting behind the neighbor's feed wagon as it goes from his farm down the road to his brother's farm.

---you tell the time of day by when the milk truck arrives at the neighbor's place (Yep, it's 9:30 all ready, boy this morning is going fast!)

---the high school hands out excused absence slips for the first day of deer season and all you have to do is sign your name on it because everything else is all ready filled out! (And they hand them out to the girls too, not just the boys!)

---planning Thanksgiving dinner starts in Feb with compiling your seed order, then planting the garden, ordering the turkey poults for early summer arrival!

---the seasons are: snowmobiling and ice fishing, mud, planting, weeding, harvesting, deer hunting, and back to snowmobiling/ice fishing.

Auric · #31 02/04/08, 02:06 PM

When rush hour traffic during the summer is 10p-11p on a Sunday as the Amish buggies go by as they head home.

When you go to the feed mill and pick up 500 pounds of sheep feed with the VW Golf, and the guy helping load the feed thinks nothing of it.

When the horses do the majority of the yard work, and the kids complain not about mowing but doing poop patrol.

When you bore your city friends by telling them about the latest hatching, or what those silly goats were doing over the weekend.

When going out to eat at a fast food restaurant requires 1/2 hour of driving.

cindyc · #32 02/04/08, 10:56 PM

These are fun!
...You know you live in the country when you are talking to a friend about the Guineas and you have to explain you don't mean Guinea Pigs! Then you have to explain that NOOOOOO they are not rodents, they are BIRDS.

Cindyc.

MahemMary · #33 02/05/08, 12:32 AM

Thanks soooo much all. We get to live in the Country only on the weekends. HT helps us make it through the week.

Wolf mom · #34 02/05/08, 12:51 PM

You're snowed in & you're not concerned as work is closed, you have a pantry full & the wood pile is high.
What you are concerned about, is not being able to get out to vote!

jerzeygurl · #35 02/05/08, 01:17 PM

when folks come over to deer hunt and 10 cats a dog and a pygmy goat all go with them

CaliannG · #36 02/05/08, 02:01 PM

You know you live in the country when.......

....you know you can't get to work because Shepard's Creek is flooded....and all three Farm Roads (called County Roads elsewhere, or Farm to Market Roads) to any place other than where you are... are crossed by Shepard's Creek.

....the Evening News says that due to unseasonal rains, people should consider relocating to higher ground. You start wondering how you are going to get all the critters elsewhere until you realize that you ARE on highest ground in the county.

.... You have ever left your door open to air the house while you went to do chores, and when you returned you found your horse in your kitchen with his nose in the refrigerator. (BTW, horses don't mind going UP the porch steps, but they dislike going DOWN them.)

.... You have ever left your door open while taking one of those rare and precious afternoon naps, only to be awakened by a crowing rooster...which happens to be perched on your headboard.

ozarkcat · #37 02/05/08, 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaliannG

.... You have ever left your door open while taking one of those rare and precious afternoon naps, only to be awakened by a crowing rooster...which happens to be perched on your headboard.

(snort) When we first moved to MO, I had gone to town to get grain for our milk goat - DH took a nap while I was gone, & woke up to someone shuffling around the tent. Assuming I'd come back from town, he turned over & opened his eyes to find himself about a hair's breadth from kissing the goat

I guess that could be a "you know you're in the country when . . . "

Karenrbw · #38 02/05/08, 08:29 PM

On the morning of Grandma's funeral, you get a call from the church as you're getting ready "Hey does your pickup have a long bed and 4 wheel drive? We don't think we can get the hearse up to the cemetary in rain and may have to put her in the back of your truck. Bring some bungee cords and straps to the funeral." Grandma would have loved the drama.
The last casket that went up to the cemetary was pulled on a hay wagon behind a tractor because of the snow. Before that one, they carried the casket by hand.

Otter · #39 02/05/08, 09:21 PM

Okay, here's a long one.
I was staying on a friend's farm with lots of free range birds. The trailer was really old and the door would pop open every time the wind blew, weather changed, etc. This one little banty hen was hell bent on getting into the trailer. I chucked her out a dozen times a day. My friend said You Know You Live In the Country When; every morning you wake up to your nearest neighbor yelling "Bad Chicken!! Get out the House!!"
Well, that hen disappeared for a few weeks, I figured she gave up and was with the other birds. Then one rainy day I hear a chick peeping. Search in the rain. Under the trailer - no, in the shed - no, caught outside a fence - no, every time I went inside I could hear that peeping. Leaned over and peered over the side of the bed, tiny little banty chick peering up at me!!!!! I generally clean under the bed only a couple of times a year and that was the day! total, six tiny chicks and one mad mini hen! That hen never came out or made one peep for three weeks, I don't know how she didn't die.
Learned my lesson, no, made an order for banties today.
Sigh, country folk just don't learn.
My favorite short one
-when you need your own tom cat to get kittens!

MisFitFarm · #40 02/05/08, 11:26 PM

You know you live in the Country when:

You don't replace the lawn mower when it breaks in the Spring, because your goats and horses do a better job, cheaper!

You KNOW exactly how many goats will fit in your husbands red, two door, sporty little car(although HE doesn't!)

!

You know which goat is calling, and why.

You think nothing of having baby goats in a play pen in your house.

You don't worry about running to the little country store in your farm boots and farm clothes.

At least ONE of every animal represented on your farm has been in your house, and all of them love TV!

You know that you can haul at least 16 large square bales on a 1984 S10 from the house down to the barn, without a man!

Your four favorite tools for repairs are duct tape, electric fence wire, baling string and a two pound sledge hammer!

You have hens who come through the window in the mudroom to share the cats food, and leave eggs on the deep freeze while they're at it!