Green burial

If you are planning on a green funeral, you might want to check out your local laws and local funeral homes. If you make plans in advance your family won't be in a mad rush to bury you within 24 hours and finding how to do it, who will do it etc. Make it as easy as possible on them.

If I'm not mistaken, Jews are always buried without cremation, so local laws must allow for that (comes in handy for nonJews who want to go without all the fuss). Each state is different, but if you can't be buried in a blanket, a pine box is not bad, and will decompose.

Some years ago I worked as a cemetary salesman. Interesting job.

Anyway, almost everything they sell you is not needed by law. There is no legal requirement for embalming, no legal requirement for a cement vault, no legal requirement for a fancy coffin, etc. It's just a money making scheme.

By all means, do a green burial if you wish. It's perfectly legal.

I've had this dream to start building my own wooden coffin. One to burn. Thinking of making it out of Cedar and do some wood burning on it. Figure out how to have pictures on it of happy moments in my life. Embalming would be alright so long as they reduce me to ashes afterward. I'm hoping there will be something worth salvaging out of my body upon my death as I am listed as a Donator. So I don't think they will be able to creamate me quick.

I want my ashes to be buried on the creek bank that I grew up hunting and fishing on. A small tombstone and a tree on top of me.


Only problem I forsee of my burial dreams is what my wife wants. Would she want to be buried beside me out in the woods on a creek bank? Or would she haul my ashes off to a cemetary?

(edited for typo)

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Alice
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"No great thing is created suddenly." ~Epictitus

My son is in a lovely tropical hardwood box one of my brother's made and is on the bookcase across the landing from my computer. His favorite kids books are next to him, along with some toys and his favorite chocolate. Eventually his ashes will be mixed with ours and all of them scattered in Puget Sound.

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If angels existed, they'd probably be considered big game. (Don Swain)

Home schooling.........not just for scary religious people anymore. Buffy

So sorry for your loss. It sounds like a fitting way to be reunited.

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Hut on the Hill Farm
http://www.hutonthehill.org

I would have a problem with that, because it would prevent family that doesn't live close from coming to the funeral.

We've had several family funerals in the last few years, and they have all been fabulous experiences. I wouldn't want to deprive my family of such experiences when I die.

I also really enjoy visiting the graves of my ancestors. I love a beautiful cemetery with upright tombstones (I hate cemeteries that don't allow upright stones). For that reason, I'd also want to be buried in a cemetery.

At the most recent funeral, my mom said to me "When my time comes, bury me in a pine box." I very well may do that. In fact, I very well may make the pine box myself.

Is it creepy for me to build a pine box or two in anticipation of my folk's eventual demise?

It's not uncommon to plan ahead. Not creepy. Thoughtful and caring.

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Alice
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"No great thing is created suddenly." ~Epictitus

I watched a PBS special where folks chose the box of their choice and used it as furniture until the date of their passing, whereupon their family popped them into it and into the ground.

Being ready, good. Being handy, good. Not building a box at the last moment while you're grieving, good. Thrifty, practical, good. Good, thoughtful idea.

I'd like to do that, but who to ask to do it? family who doesn't agree with me? friends who don't want to be in the way of family?

I also agree that funerals can be great events. I have a family member who says her mom doesn't need a funeral. I want to shake her and say, le duh, the funeral is not FOR the deceased, it's FOR the survivors, so we're talking about having a gathering/memorial somewhere else entirely. Nothing wrong with that. she'll even be invited.

You could build a really nice sideboard with hinged top and removable legs.

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Alice
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"No great thing is created suddenly." ~Epictitus

My mom and dad were both creameated. Their ashes are scattered here on my farm. My dad got one more horse drawn wagon ride as we rode out to the field. My mom is near our maple sugar house. My parents were divorced so I placed them close enough to talk but far enough away from each other to keep them from fighting!

Seriously, It is very comforting to have them close by to "talk " with. I cry sometimes just cause I need to. I share as a family should and its so easy to just say "Hi" I have coffee with them often. As I think of them, sun shining on their remains, a gentle breeze kissing them and the earth holding them, I am comforted. The beautiful leaves of autumn cover them like a blanket before the winter snow blankets the farm. The moonbeams dance in the night and peace is on the land. Spring makes her entry along with baby lambs and I can feel my parents smiling as the new life comes forth.

Yes, "Green" is the way to go

For anyone hoping to have a green funeral, may I suggest you get everything planned now. Make sure everyone in your family knows what you want. Get your casket made (or you could always buy it and use if for furniture until the time it's needed.) Or your family can always order a casket on line and get it the following day (but if you have to be buried within 24 hours that could be a problem). Check with the cemetary (if that is where you are going to be buried to see if you have to have a vault - most do as they don't want to have to have to deal with the settling later on). Get things lined up with your county, township & your local undertaker (will your family really want to get you dressed and "made up" for the viewing? Are you going to have a home viewing or a funeral home viewing? If you die in the hospital or nursing home, is your family going to transport you in the back of a pickup?) Make sure all scenarios are covered.

You want everything prepared in advance so EVERYONE knows your wishes (and your family members won't get talked into doing something the mortician thinks is best).

If you only tell your spouse and children your wishes, they could get delayed in red paperwork and false rules and regulations which will make sure the "24 hour" rule can't be used, and you could end up getting embalmed anyway.

And while you may not think a viewing is not important, it might be to your loved ones / friends. An older friend of mine lived & died in another state and their wasn't a viewing. It took me the longest time to accept that she was really dead, and not just out of town.

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Michael W. Smith in North-West Pennsylvania

"Everything happens for a reason."

I had a great-uncle who was a rancher and also used to build walnut coffins. He had a fine winter time business in dog houses and coffins. Don't know if he made his own or not, but he probably did.

Funeral pyres could be a fun method, especially in winter. Wonder why funeral homes don't endorse those?

For getting cremated, have a whole lot of nice small boxes made and then send some of yourself to each family member and let them decide what to do with it. Ha! That might be worth writing a blog about afterwards if you could.

I was just thinking about that, because I don't want to carry around a useless pine box for decades (hopefully).

What types of furniture did they use the coffins for? I cam up with bookcase, but that's about it.

My father died in 1976. At that time the Catholic Church didn't endorse cremation, so his ashes were scattered in the Gulf of Mexico (where he loved to fish) by the local priest, but not church endorsed. Local church leaders took turns at the monthly event and the ashes were simply held until it was his turn.

When my mother died a couple of years ago the CC view had changed. Her remains are buried between the graves of her parents in the Catholic cemetary near where she was born. Small marker flat on the ground. We thought it was very appropriate.

This is all very interesting reading.

My Dad requested to be buried in a pine box. He died in '96. Would you believe that pine box cost more than a concrete vault? It was really simply made with pine knots falling out and a wooden lid that had 3 boards across the top to hold the boards together as it fit on top of the rest of the box. Odd I can remember all that. I didn't really want to get it, but that was what he requested so I carried out his request. The wood on the pine box wasn't even planed either. Looked like it had just came from the sawmill and been nailed together.

Now his grave is sinking and we have filled it twice already and it needs to be done again.

As for viewing the body, I always before when younger thought that was what it was all about, but now have changed my mind. I feel the family and very closest friends can view it and the rest can just accept that. As far as having a visitation, I think they should just go ahead and bury me and then get together for a big feed and talk about my life and what I did to make or not make theirs memorible. Yep, my views have really changed.

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I used to caretake a cabin owned by the woman who wrote the do-it-yourself funeral bible.

http://www.amazon.com/Caring-Dead-Yo.../dp/0942679210

Google "Lisa Carlson and funeral" and you will find some very interesting info.

The older I get, the more I too am changed. It was much easier on us as we celebrated our parents lives rather than mourned their deaths in a stuffy building with everyone in suits.

We stood outside on beautiful days with family and friends. The sunshine kissed the Earth hand all of us. The tears flowed freely but so did the heartwarming stories. People told stories and many of us were able to laugh as we remembered fondly the people who meant much to all of us.

As a boy I was frightened by death and funerals. Now, as I age (gracefully I will add) I am not afraid for I know "the way the truth and the life" I am also comforted that I can lay on a field of my farm as the seasons, children and grandchildren come and go.

When I was visiting relatives in Croatia I came to realize the church cemetary was an import part of their lives. Traditionally the older families in the community has 2-4 (sometimes more) grave sites. As someone in the family died the oldest buried one would be dug out. If bones were discovered they were put to the side and then buried below wood casket level. Multiple generations were often buried one on top of the other so to speak. However, today those who can afford to do so use metal caskets and vaults. Now the cemetary is filling up with permanent graves.

I'm a little bit confused. Are you blaming the pine box for the sinking of soil? While I could believe it if your father was simply buried in a pine box and no vault (eventually the pine box would collapse in causing the dirt above it to fall in creating a sink hole). However, since the vault surrounds the pine casket - bottom, sides, and top, about the only sinking I can see would be caused by air holes which are eventually settling. (Unless for some reason the vault lid broke and the dirt is now settling.)

And why do you have to fill in the sink holes? Around here, most cemetaries are perpetual care where the cemetary association cares for all graves - the mowing, the filling in, etc. (Of course, they aren't always quick about fixing the problems, but eventually they do get around to it.)

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Michael W. Smith in North-West Pennsylvania

"Everything happens for a reason."