Inheriting land - touchy subject

The solution is simple. Show him your post. It says it all without sounding like an inheritance vulture.

My advice?
Move there. Show some interest in the land. Figure out which section you want, and put your 'claim' on it.

Talk directly with your pa... tell him you want the land. Like Highlands said, don't assume. You may not be in the will.

One thing that I'd get straight now, if at all possible, is to have the land divided, and deeded to the different parties. Undivided interest in land is nothing but trouble. I had an undivided interest in land for over ten years... I was so relieved when the land was sold. I couldn't do diddly on the land without a dozen other peoples permission.

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Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. Seneca
Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival. W. Edwards Deming

Velochic, I always had the same problem, finding a way to talk to my father about things I wanted to inherit, although not on the scale you are talking about. I finally just took a deep breath, and started asking questions about the things I wanted. I would suggest something like:

"Dad, (Papa, or whatever you call him), I've realized I don't know much about the history of the family farm." Then ask him specific questions about how it came to be in the family, how he feels about it, what his hopes and dreams were for the land, etc. Maybe tell him you hope he lives to be 100, but when his portion DOES come to you, that you would like to live in the house and have a small garden, etc. That you just would like to know the HISTORY of it, when he has the time to tell you about it. So many farms get divided up without the family ever knowing all that went before them. I don't think I'd mention wanting to eventually move to Germany, tho. Just me. My father was like a wellspring when I started asking questions. He just didn't think any of his children even cared about things, and was very surprised. He also was not one of those close, loving fathers, not one to confide, etc. You might be surprised. Let us know how it goes when you do talk to him, will you? Jan in Co

With land prices as they are beware the subdivision speculators and a land auction. More and more farms are fading away into urban sprawl.

Expect the worst to come out in people after a death, it often does even in wonderful families. It is best to discuss with anyone mentally able beforehand.

Groundwork for friendly buyots is not a bad idea. That way, assuming you can manage a fair price they will expect your desire. Don't expect your good intentions to compensate for inadequacy between your budget and market price. Anyone who is apt to divide family ground is also someone who is apt to care less for cousins dreams.

Even as a whole chunk that ground will not support itself with farming, unless you find a value added product. Land prices have escalated so much that unless something is inherited free and clear no one could ever hope to pay off it's mortgage. The rare exception is if you have a large sum to buy with already saved or if you have land that produces bushels upon bushels upon bushels of grain.

The one silver lining in this cloud are USDA funds. If you want to sign on the government game they offer very nice loan programs for beginning farmers. The terms are meant to help with startup. They offer kind interest and time to get on track. They basically do a lot of hand holding for newbies. This however is only for business, not a hobby homestead. I am reluctant to share this secret as I want to use it someday and fear greedy folks who abuse the system and dry up the well. Keep this one under your hats folks.

To answer some questions:

We cannot live on the land right now. My dh is a university professor and our sole source of income. The land is 200 miles from where we live, his university and dd's school (with which we are extremely pleased and she loves), so commuting is not even possible. This is only a possibility after dh retires... thus the delay of 15 years or so before we'd go. (And I don't know ANYTHING about living on a farm (self sufficient or not) at this point... I still have A LOT to learn!!)

The land is in the middle of NOWHERE. 150 miles from the nearest large city. 50 miles from the nearest large town. 20 miles from the nearest small village with a real grocery store. It's so much in the middle of nowhere, I'm not even sure where it is exactly, as I've only seen it a few times in the last 15 years. Nobody will ever, ever, ever want to develop this land for a subdivision in my, or my daughter's lifetime. I am not afraid of that at all. I am happy to say that it will remain farmland for a good, long time.

My dad never farmed this land. It's very close to where he grew up, though. It's near where I grew up. My grandfather owned the land when he was in retirement and he never farmed the land. This land has been income only since he purchased it after cashing in some stocks back in the 80's. It is not the family farm (that was sold over 40 years ago), it's just a hunk of land. There is no emotion attached to it at all.

My goal is to just have the option to build a small home on a parcel of the 5 acres which already has a home on it (where the fencing and barns are right now). Do a small bit of animal farming. Leave the crop land doing what it is already doing - cash rent farming to the same guy who has been doing it the last 20-odd years (assuming the others don't want to sell out). I'm not getting really ambitious about this. A lot has to happen before then. Of course, my father will hopefully still be alive then, so I can just ask him to have a small piece of the land. As for the inheriting... he's said it is in a trust for me, so I believe him. I don't know who else he would leave it to unless he for some weird reason left it to one of my cousins. Mostly, I just want to open the discussion about what the plans are for the land (other than the fact that I'm supposed to inherit it) without making Dad feel bad and to let him know that if it's possible, I'd like to use a couple of the developed acres at some point in the future for my own personal use.

Thanks again to those of you with ideas about conversation starters. I appreciate it.

Talk to your dad. Ask him to show you exactly where the boundaries are for the land is that you'll be inheriting. I'd think your father would be happy to see you taking some interest in the property. Ask about surveys, easements and anything pertinent to the property which may effect it. Walk the land with him, having him show you where all the boundaries are located. Have a heart to heart talk with your Dad and ask him what his wishes are for the property.

You assume FAR too much with the other relatives. The older I get, the more dysfunctional families I hear about. Not every family is the typical Ward/June/Wally/Beaver Cleaver. They're more likely to be Al/Peggy/Bud/Kelly Bundy. While it may be likely the property will be passed on to 5 people, don't assume this to be fact. Parents & offspring don't always get along, for a myriad of reasons.

What the other relatives do with THEIR land is completely THEIR business. While the land rental might be ideal for you, they may have different ideas. You certainly should ask the relative about giving you the first crack at buying the land parcel you're interested in, should they decide they wish to sell it. Its possible someone else already made the same request. Its also possible they may wish to subdivide the property. Assume nothing.

Expect some change to occur when the property goes from the current generation to the next. Don't assume the current situation will remain the same indefinitely.

I too say you should talk with Dad about this.

I know a very good family that is now dealing with this issue. A family farm...about 600 acres, in the middle of nowhere, Indiana is going to be sold. Grandma died last year, and left the farm to her grandchildren. One set lives in Indiana, the other set in Florida. The set in Florida have decided they want 3 times what the ground is worth, and are being difficult with the sale of the ground. Some of them have never even seen the ground, but think it is their ticket to riches.

Again, figure out how to talk with your dad, and let him know your intentions.

Clove

I would try to clearly understand if there is a set parcel of acres that is set up to fall to you. Or if this is set up as a single farm & you will recieve a partial interest in the whole thing.

If you are getting 107 specific acres, then go ahead with your plans.

If you are to get ownership of a share of the whole thing - walk away from your ideas. There will be too many issues, problems, and squabbling to _ever_ be happy living on any part of it. It will not work.

A nursing home can take $200 a day. That part of the land your dad owns could last about 4 years if he has no provisions for such a thing. Do _not_ assume you will ever see it.

It sounds like you have some wealth stored aside. It sounds like there is no real attachment to this particular farm land.

Other family members have had a long time to sit & think about these things too, & may have dreams, plans, or schemes to use this land as well. Most people in today's world want to cash it in as soon as possible & take the money & blow it on their personal dreams. I would not expect anyone to wait & sell it at a fair price to you or care about your plans. I've seen that _not_ work too many times. I also see others look at you as trying to such the land up cheap now, and then sell it for top dollar in 10 years and mess everyone in the family over....... (Not saying you are doing this; I think at least a few will look at you in this way tho!)

It is possible to stir up a real hornets nest of troubles once talking about getting something from the elders.......

I would think you could buy a 5 acre plot somewhere with a farm house, treat it as an investment - use it for your 10 years, and sell it in a better ecconomic climate for a handy profit. And not rile up anyone.


I would think long & hard before starting anything with 'the family'. Inlaws get _real_ odd when they feel someone is trying to pull one over, even if the blood family starts out polite & ok. You could _really_ start issues.

I would, tho, lightly talk it over with your dad. No big plans, no this has to happen. Just, I'd like to think about my future, and what is the deal with this farmland?

If it turns out he is on your side & would like to see you live there for 10 years, he can do a lot to make that happen. He is in much control, & probably has heard other's plans.

You don't have any control, & probably shouldn't get very involved with the rest of the family on this issue at this time.


Myself, as a farmer on a century farm where 4 generations of the family toiled & lived, it would bother me greatly to hear some person living far away & doesn't even know where the farm is wants to horn in on the land & then just sell it 10 years later. I would not look well on that situation. Not at all.

However, my situation is far different, as it sounds like no one has deep roots on this particular property. Just saying how things would 'feel' in my situation.


Another thing, friends of ours have 3 generations wishing to live on the 'home farm.' Well, the son who wished to move in built a house on a corner of the property years ago. His son (grandson) would like the rural life but spent most of his days in a trailer park, now a house in town with teenage kids now.

So, parents are 87 years old & still on the farm, buildings kinda run down. Son is 2 years from retirement, thinking now why move from the house on the corner to the old run down farm house. The granson & his family are town folk now, kinda late to go to the old farm buildings, & farming has gotten too big, none of them can afford to try to farm the land. Everyone is kinda 20 years past their prime on the original plan of going where they wanted to.

I am sorry to hear you are looking at the generations changing so rapidly in the next years; but someties one is surprised & the 'plan' doesn't follow through & you will be in Europe long before this land becomes yours.


I'd sure think long & hard about buying your own place as a 10 year investment; and accepting this inherratence as an investment should it come to you. There are a lot of ifs & questions & it sounds like your own timeline might not fit what will happen with this property......

--->Paul

I would try to show interest in the land now. With a child in school and the land 200 miles away I see you difficulty. Do you work? Could you spend the summers (or 3 weeks a month in the summers) on the land with a veggie garden and some fruit trees? Would DH be able to come out for a week between semesters? weekends? etc? You say you have some investment $, could you take a bit of it and put a small travel trailer on the land you could live in during the summers...assuming you don't want to move in on your father.

If this sound possible ask your father if you could put a garden in his yard that you would take care of. Let him know you would like to homestead when DH retires and you would love to "practice" a bit and spend some time with him. Ask him what he remembers about preserving the crop, and to teach you. Even if the land doesn't work out the wealth of information you would gather would be useful anywhere you put you hoe. If he doesn't have this information, maybe he'd like to watch you and his grand child learn.

After a year you may know if this is something you would like to pursue. You will have spent more time with your dad and this land. You may then be able to ask about the land, you never know what conversations will open up if your around regularly and "using" the land.

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Jen
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Hoop, Clovis, Ramble, Ohio Dreamer - thank you! Yours are the kind of comments that I was hoping to get from this thread. Great information, thoughts and opinions. You all are right that things are probably not going to stay the same. It's probably best to just treat the land as if it's just another investment (because it has no emotional ties to anyone in the family) and after dh retires, find our own piece of land. Who knows, if dh's health isn't so great in 15 years (he's diabetic), we might move to Europe sooner than we plan in order to be close to his family and we never get to buy a homestead in the US.

Thanks again everyone. You are all a wealth of information!

Velochic,
No matter what happens, remember that homesteading is a state of mind and a way of life, IMHO.
If the land your dad has falls thru, you can still homestead where ever you are. The way I see things, it doesnt matter if you have 200 acres or live in town and container garden. Sure, 200 acres can put you into great degree of self sufficiency....but dont discount homesteading if this falls thru.
Clove

Start by asking your father if you can read a copy of the legal documents pertaining to the trust. If there is infact a trust, that is the ONLY interest you currently own in the land. The paperwork will explain your father's interest in the land, from what you've said it sounds like a partnership with equal rights to all of the land by the siblings.

If your father and his siblings are now equal rights owners, you might as well face the realization that it's not going to be easy to have you wishes met. Right off the bat, want it or not, like it or not, have any use for it or not, your cousins (all it takes is one) is going to protest the idea that you wish to have the house and connected 5 acres. Even if you are willing to trade your 1/3 of the remainer of the land, it will be seen as your attempt to skim off the cream. None of that has to have anything to do with the truth

As I mentioned, first find out what claims you will likely have to any of the land, and start from there. Just don't count of love of family taking priority over material gain.

Hugs,
Marlene

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It is the one with persistence and determination that brings great ideas into being.

Dad,

I'm going over some plans for the future and am thinking about moving to a place in the country and raising some produce and a few meat/milk animals.

I am thinking of coming back to this area, but would like some advice.

Remember, he knows how old he is and is seeing what is happening to his sister. He may be wondering how this will all shake out with you and your cousins. He might have plans set up with his brother and sister, but is not sure if you're even interested in what they have set up.

Talk. Sometimes those "stoic" oldsters need someone to help them get the ball rolling.

This reminds me of a story:

A woman was raised in a country family. Her parents never said the words "I love you". It was assumed. Her dad's way was to work and provide for his family. Her mom's way was to cook, clean and take care of her husband and the kids.

The woman had been exposed to others telling her that they "love her" and see felt a yearning to say this to her parents before they passed on. So, one day, she went home and walked into the house and went up to her dad and gave him a big hug and said, "Daddy, I love you, I just had to tell you that". He didn't know how to react and didn't say a thing. Then she went into the kitchen and did the same with her mom. Similar reaction. After her visit, and as she was heading home, she prayed, "Lord, I hope I didn't offend them".

The next time she went back to her parent's home. Her mom ran up to her and hugged her and said to her "Baby, I love you". This was closely followed by her dad doing the same. And that is how they greeted each other from that time on.

I can't guarantee that your parents will react positively, but you need to do what God calls you to do and leave it up to Him.

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Diamondtim

You can tell what someone thinks by reading the bumper stickers on their car. You can also tell if they think at all.

The post above was made without reading your post of last night (which can prove dangerous at times).

If you, or your family, have no deep roots in the land (it was grampa's investment), then you should look to land near where you are to "hobby farm" (your dd can then learn something about crops and critters while still young). Other than finding out what is meant by "in a trust", I wouldn't make any serious plans to plant yourself on that piece of property.

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Share the Love,

Diamondtim

You can tell what someone thinks by reading the bumper stickers on their car. You can also tell if they think at all.