Remote Area + Single Woman - Your Opinions?
 

I just got back from scoping out properties in the area of N.E. Washington where I've decided to settle. I saw a number of really wonderful things--mostly little log houses on 20-acre parcels of mixed pasture and trees, many abutting national forest and having breathtaking territorial and mountain views. A number of them had natural ponds and little streams running through. Gorgeous!

All of the properties I saw were somewhere between 20 and 30 miles outside of a pretty good-sized little town that serves as the county seat. All had utilities, well, and septic, and all were accessible via county roads (many of them school bus routes) that are regularly plowed during the winter and that are otherwise well maintained. Despite moderate snowfall, winters in this area tend to be bright and sunny, so with the exception of shaded corridors through highly forested areas, the roads tend to stay free of ice. As we drove up the county road, I saw private driveways and mailboxes every couple of miles, so although you can't see the houses from the road, neighbors are there. Generally, the people in this area tend to be very friendly and helpful.

So getting down to brass tacks: I am a single woman, pushing 50, and have never before lived in the country. I'm new to the concept of wells and septics, and up until last week, didn't know the difference between timothy and alfalfa. In short, I've got plenty to learn. On the other hand, there is no question about my commitment to the country lifestyle (I've spent many years working toward that goal). I have a very self-sufficient mindset, a good work ethic, and am always looking to learn and implement new skills. I'm fortunate to be in a position where I can probably work from home and so daily commuting to and from town would not be an issue.

I'm having a hard time assessing whether being 20-30 miles outside of town would be reasonable for someone like me. I tend to have a hermetic streak, and being alone has never been a problem. But I do think about the logistics of emergencies, what if I got laid up, whether I'd be a sitting duck for two-legged predators. I'd be grateful for any advice/opinions.

Only you know whether you'd be able to take care of yourself and your place.

In regards to your "sitting duck for a two-legged predator" comment.....no matter where you live...you're vulnerable. Get a pistol and keep it handy.

Hi Amelia,

I myself have felt MUCH safer living in a remote area than I EVER did living in Milwaukee. I have lived in the wilds of Northern Wisconsin for three years now and have never had a problem with any "two legged" predators! I worry more about bears, coyotos and such than any issues with crime or people that would be up to no good.

However I know that I am an exception to the rule, many people who live remotely have had problems. I have for the most part never locked the door of my home, or taken the keys out of my truck, and while luck or good fortune may be on my side I have never had anything happen because I don't "lock up". Heck if I did lock up how could my friends leave things for me as they couldn't get on the porch if I locked the door!!

When I moved here I made a lot of friends very quickly and that has been a great help, the local friends I made taught me about septic fields, wells, and what to do when the power was out, ie. no water. The also taught me how extremely valuable good neighbors are when you need help, and when you are willing and happy to give help in return.

My advice would be to get involved with the community, though I have a tendancey to "hermit up" at times I do volunteer at the library and am a volunteer fire fighter for my Village. I know right now if something happened to me, like I fell and broke my leg the ambulance would be here within 15 minutes, and any other friends I would call would probably be here sooner!

Margie

...and a dog. A big mean one that likes no one but "mama" :)

I knew the "gun" thing would come up, and thought to touch on that subject in my first post. I have guns, two, a .22 for shooting critters and an old shotgun that belonged to my Grandfather.

The fact that I have these guns in my house makes me feel NO SAFER than if I didn't have them. Most of the time it takes me about 10 minutes to find the bullets for the .22 when I do want to use it...and I pretty much only use it to shoot Red Squirrels that get into my bird feeders.

Getting to know your neighbors and community is more protection that a gun could EVER be...at least to me!!

Margie

I've been in the woods, off grid for two years, over half that time alone. I don't have the strength of a man or the knowledge of an engineer (for the solar equipment I have) but I've managed quite well with the help of others at times, and at other times alone. It is not the romantic illusion I had in my youth. Its hard work sometimes and a few times I've just sat down and cried but it has never been unbearable, not even close. The longer I am here, the more the place gets situated. The garden fencing done, the new pig area fenced beautifully, the milk cow shelter. and chicken coops situated well... it takes time and energy, and if I may say so, a pretty tough woman to do it. Not an extraordinary woman but one that doesn't mind getting dirty, getting hurt, being cold, steaming or uncomfortable for long periods (but then you might have electricity and a finished house to live in so this might not apply).

About the two-legged predators. There's all kinds in the country, like there are everywhere. Don't allow yourself to be compromised in any way. And et yourself a couple of good large dogs :) Goodluck on your adventure! :hobbyhors

Amelia, I am now disabled, and many of my dreams have not been realized.

After much thought, I came to a decision. This is my ONE and ONLY life, and if I can figure out how to make my dreams come true I will! I HAVE scaled down the scope of my dreams to make them smaller, but I AM going for it!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, there have been changes to my dreams. For one thing I have mechanized a bit, and I do not like machinery. A couple of times I hired my kids to do what I could not. I am trying things out on a MUCH smaller scale to figure out what works for me. My marketing plans have changed.

With my new, smaller dreams I do not know if I will be needing the 5 acres that we bought just BEFORE I got sick: my oversized back yard MIGHT be big enough. We shall see!

*BUT*, I still dream of earning an income through agriculture. And, for the first time in years, my garden is going to produce more food than my family can eat. My DD is expressing an interest in the Farmers Market, and we will split any income down the middle. I will donate unsold food to the food bank for a tax credit.

This summer is only half done, and already I am planning for the next! *IF* my DD likes selling at the Farmers Market, I can order more weed barrier and expand the garden. I would LIKE to build a potting shed/ hen house, DH and I will discuss plans when he gets home today from scouts. The kids are 13 & 14 years old, and that is a good age to learn how to build. DH has committed to 4 hours per weekend on the building: the kids and I will work during the week untill we get stuck and then let DH un-stick us on the weekends.

I became depressed a while back. In time, I realized that it was because I no longer believed that I could fulfill my dreams. What is life without hopes and dreams? Why would a person want to get up in the morning without things to look forward to?

Think long and hard before you give up your dreams, if this IS a dream of yours! I found doing so to be too depressing for WORDS! Take your weaknesses into consideration and make plans for it. If you are worried about security, get a gun and a cell phone. If you are worried about not being able to do it physically, make friends and ask them who is reliable to hire here and there.

Again, without dreams, why would a person want to get up in the morning? Change your dreams if you think it best, but don't give them up entirely!

you could always put up an 8ft chainlink fence around the place with razor wire on top and get a couple tiger cubs to raise . In a year or two you'd be known as the crazy Cat lady and no two legged predators would dream of crossing the fence. :)
Only you can decide if living that far out is what you want . There are plenty of advantages and disadvantages to it . If you have a heart condition Id say it likely a bad idea because if you have a heart attack its going to be over . No one there to call the hospital or transport you in time.

30 miles isn't that far really.
We live 35 miles from a hospital, Wal-Mart, Safeway, etc.
If I had my druthers, it'd be further than that.
As for 2 legged predators, I'd be much more afraid of them in a city.
Just make a plan for in case, be prepared and don't fret about a "what if".

Amelia,

You really need to go to this site, read, and talk with the women there. I think it has, maybe, 2 or 3 male members? Otherwise it is an all-female-homesteader board. The board owners are homesteaders in NW Washington who also have experience in NE Washington.

http://www.7trees.org/phpbb/

I live what many might consider 'remote', though roads into the town 20 miles away are quite good.

Make friends with a good small town plumber that does a lot of rural work. They can give you the lowdown on anything about wells or septic in the area you wish to live.
Visit the forestry or natural resource people to give you information on the wildlife and critters you'de be living close with.
A good resource person might be the local postmaster to give you some possible hints about what your neighbors would be like. Feed store people know quite a lot about the rural inhabitants also, plus a wealth of info about what you might want to know about caring for your domestic animals and plants. Go visit also the agricultural extension centre for the area you wish to locate. Just chat it up what your interest are, and what it is they might let you know first hand for the area that might not be found in books. All the other info like the crime stats and that sort of thing you can find from the internet also.
Check out the local naturalist society also. If your interest is in some hunting/fishing and that sort of activity then delve into taking a hunters safety course to learn the use of firearms.

Amelia, can you think back to the last time your wanted to do something that was any scale of scary, but you got up enough courage to give it a try? You know that feeling you had from facing you fears? Think that X10 :)

If you do not have health issue which require you to be within range of health care in a matter of minutes; my advise would be to go for it.

I have a dear friend, and fellow homesteadertoday member, who lives off grid out in the middle of nowhere - her land being two miles from a public road. She has done so for 10+ years. She has dogs and knows how to use a gun, she loves her little bit of Eden.

You've been given some interesting advise; what's your head and heart telling you at this time?

Hugs,
Marlene

I agree with having a gun for destructive four legged critters and snakes. Dogs are great for company, good alert system and protection; the one thing that I would add would be a cell phone (keep it on you at all times) - that way if you were to get injured you can call for assistants.

Check to see if there is cell phone service in the area you are looking at and, when you move there, always keep your cell phone on you.

We only live eight miles out of the county seat, but always try to keep our cell phones with us...especially if it's just one of us at home.

I'm 47 and have multiple health problems, but wouldn't hesitate to move 20-30 miles out if I were single. In fact, I would prefer it. There are a lot more two-legged predators in the city than in the woods.

I forgot to mention another tip......do a lot of target shooting at your place. Believe me, word will get around town and people will leave you alone.

As a guy I would say you need a dog and a gun as well.
You also need to cary a cordless phone with you when outside to call for emergencys such as snake bites, people on land, fallen and cant get up.

And make sure you test it over all of your land, so you are sure where it will or will not work.

We only have one spot on the land where a cell phone will work, so we've had to make other plans for family safety. If you are homesteading single, I'd make really sure that I had decent cell phone signal across the entire piece of land.

I also suggest big dogs. We personally like having two Rottweilers. They look identical so folks know there's more than one, but there's no way they can really be sure how many are roaming the land. :)

And I'd budget for a good electric perimeter fence. Have fence alarms on it so you know if there's a tree down or a break. You'll feel pretty safe knowing your dogs patrol the full land and you are unlikely to have folks wandering onto your land.

Lynda

You only have one life to live, do what you want to do, if you find that you were in love with the dream instead of the reality, then take another path. You'll never know if it's right for you unless you try it. If possible, you might try to find a place to rent for a year before you buy. If not, buy something that you can resale if you discover that life is not for you. Whatever you do, enjoy life. :)

Go for it lady and for heavens sake at least keep that .22 loaded - when a coon gets in the chicken house wrecking havoc, you will lose all your hens while you are looking for the ammo!! and Dogs are a great help even just as alarms to let you know something is there that shouldn't be - like that coon! They hear and see better than humans.

I'm 63, live alone, moved here 6 years ago. Nearest hospital is 20 miles away, nearest grocery 11 miles, nearest neighbour 1/4 mile - and not too many of them.

Love it! wouldn't go back to city life until I couldn't walk & maybe not then. (& I used to be a real city gal that loved to shop!)

Safety; I've got 3 large dogs & a couple guns. No fear. Less human issues in the country than the city. I try to keep my cell phone with me in case of falls, etc.

Knowledge: I found HT is the absolute best for learning how to do things and learning about things. Great support too.

I have a economy car & a 4 X 4 truck for snow, hauling, etc.

Found a sign that states: Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty & well preserved body, but rather skid in broadside, totally worn out & proclaiming. "Wow what a ride!"

Go for it - Have fun while doing it. You can always go back but to live with regrets......that's something else.

Likewise. I spent 25 years in Los Angeles, and my wife grew up there. We both feel much safer out here in rural Utah, where we too live 25 miles from the nearest real town and 3 miles of dirt road from a community of 450.

That said, nowhere is completely safe. While I was away in LA on business two summers ago, my wife called me at 6:00 am on a Sunday-- there was a weirdo at the gate and she was scared to death. Turned out he was just a drunk, and was lost and disoriented. But when I got home, I bought her a 12-gauge pump shotgun and made sure she knew ho to use it. It stands in the corner, magazine loaded, and she made a cute little crochet cover for the barrel to keep the dust out.

I wouldn't have a gun in the house in LA, but up here is different. Neither she nor I want her to have to shoot anyone. In most cases, all you have to do is jack one into the chamber and any sensible person is going to turn the other way. But if she does have to, the buckshot will take care of business and she doesn't have to aim too much.

I also keep a 30-30 by the door in case of coyotes, but haven't had to do more with it than scare them off a couple of times.

So yeah, get a gun and know how to use it. You probably will never have to (at least against a 2-legged predator). But better to be prepared just in case.

Dogs are great-- almost any kind of sizable dog. We have heelers, which are medium-large and not ferocius. But if someone comes around who doesn't belong, they make them think twice.

As to phones, we don't have a land line but we've each got a cell phone-- and we get reception at home (most of the time). But our county only has 5 deputies for an enormous area, so response time could be a while depending on where they are. Get to know your nearest neighbors. Two nights ago, my neighbors called to tell us there was a strange guy hanging around outside their gate. (First time they've ever called us for anything like that.) Their dogs (a cocker spaniel and an Australian shepherd) scared him off, but they wanted to make sure we were OK. (They have a gun or two themselves.) In a remote area, your neighbors are generally your best resource.

The bottom line: after three years, we still love it here. I wouldn't move back to the city for the world. But it's a different life, and we've got to be willing to step up to the challenge.

Do it!
I'm 55, and lived out rural since I was 29. And, am a solitaire.
You've gotten lots of good advice here, re read it, and see how all of us just learn how to do it easy.
You DO need a tough, hard, guardian dog, and the kennel for it, even if your yard isn't fenced.
I am familiar with many of the NE WA areas, it's a similiar ecosystem to mine.
Get your firewood now, and your propane tank filled during summer. And, find the snowplow guy now, before the fall rush, or first snow.
A dream come true! Don't spooky out on it!

I'm sure that "Filas are Prima" could give you some very sound advice on exactly what kind of dog to have! You gotta live your life...You only got one.

My advice? Do what you want to do and be where you want to be..I think it was Churchill who said ,"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." It doesn't matter if you live in the middle of nowhere, in the suburbs or in the city..each has its own set of "issues" to be managed and thought over. I'm 59, and disabled..yes, it would be more logical for me to live closer to all the hospitals, markets, and whatever else..but that's not where I want to be..

Someday when I'm dying I don't want to say to myself, "Oh Lesley..you could have lived in the boonies.." LOL

I wouldn't let fear hold you back from your dream. If it makes you feel better most fear of crime is psychological, from a statistical point of view you are more likely to be hurt killed by a car accident or by corporate negligence.

Go in a heartbeat. I spent years out on our farm "alone" because my husband works as a contract engineer and until the kids were grown, was always gone.

It sounds like a piece of heaven to me. Find a dog breed that suits your personality and provides good protection, and get a gun as well to protect the dog.

For a single woman, may I suggest an Anatolian Shepherd? It's a beautiful, very large breed, proud and very gentle, but will bond to you like nothing else (it's a livestock guardian dog) and stay at your side. IMHO, this breed is a girl's VERY best friend.

The Wandering Quilter's Life in a Box!

Chase that dream and catch it! Two legged predators are everywhere so don't let that discourage you. Aside from dogs, there are plenty of other "tricks".....Put up a clothesline and make sure there are always some men's clothing items hanging on it, take an old throw away pair of mens work boots and leave them on the porch. A hunting vest draped over a porch chair signals "there are guns here". A second vehicle sitting in the yard (periodically moved of course). Beer cans and hand tools scattered about in the front yard under a tree...... Use your imagination and have fun with it.......Best of all, you are living YOUR life.

P.S. As one who seems to spend half my time running from one "widow" woman's house to another fixing things like dripping faucets, well pumps, air conditioning systems, etc.. don't worry about the stuff that you need a man's help with.....You will have a neighbor or three who will do just about anything for a glass of tea, piece of pie,a smile and word of thanks....

David

Excellent advice! I've had some not so savory types living in the revolving door rental across the street in the last 3 years. Just sitting on the back porch and doing a little target practice with the .357, the .380 and the 20 ga. seems to work quite well. Any fool can hear that those are three distinctly different guns and their first thought is "How many more guns does he have?" It also helps that they never really know whether someone is home or not.

Doug

Do it. A good dog and a shotgun brings peace of mind and solves lots of problems. I was raised in the city and got to the country as quick as I could.Remember it's all perspective. My daughters have no problem going for a walk in the woods at night but are afraid of the hussle of the city. They have city cousins who start to freak out if they can't see a building. We all have our own fears but most of them are unfounded. The country is the safest place to be. Maybe it's because people are nicer, maybe it's because we all have big dogs and guns. Fear only lasts a few minutes, regret is there for a lifetime.

Hey.

I suggest you rent a cabin/home in that area and see if rural living is for you.

I also suggest making friends with the neighbors to speed up your learning curve and to have someone to help you.

If you are going to buy, make sure you check this forum for help. There's alot of things to check out and you wouldn't want to forget something.

Take a gun safety course and learn how to shoot a firearm.


RF

good advice here...........follow your dream and go for it!

I feel safer at the end of the middle of nowhere than I ever did in a city or even the suburbs with neighbors nearby. Having dogs helps. Having a gun helps even more. I even have a spear-fishing gun (for back-up, I guess)!

Might be a good idea, when you make friends, to have someone that will miss you if you don't show up or if they don't hear from you. My brother and I had a "signal" between ourselves that we could put up at the mailbox or in our front windows if there was something wrong, or if we were fine and just didn't want company at the moment. If we didn't change the sign ever so often, we would check on each other.

What you don't know you can learn. You will figure out a way to get done what needs to get done. After living both in the city and the country I feel a LOT safer living in the country.

A good dog and a small flock of geese will prevent anyone from ever coming to your house without you knowing it before they reach the door.

You could leave some empty shell boxes on the front seat of your vehicle when you go to town too. I leave an empty gun case, an empty shell box and a partially full (with coke) liquor bottle in plain sight in my vehicle when I park on forest trails even if I'm not hunting. I call it my Bubba Protection plan. :)

I've read through this thread today, and there is a lot of good advice/insight being offered, but something about the original question kept "bugging me". I guess by asking the question, it makes me wonder if you are having second thoughts about your dream of remote living/farming/homesteading. Some are just not comfortable living that far away from other people. If that is the case (and only through a private, thorough, self evaluation can you make that determination), maybe you should consider a sight nearer to town, or maybe even a big lot in a small village/hamlet in the same area you are now looking. That can provide privacy and offers much of the same lifestyle you crave from the more remote location. Best wishes in whatever you choose to do.

Pink Bat had a good idea. When I first moved out to the country, I had some animated discussions with my new neighbors about why I would not own guns. It didn't take long before I got a new neighbor (a pothead with some real unusual ideas!) I got to thinking about everyone involved in my No-guns argument and how many people they could have spoken to... So, I spoke with my son and he brought a couple of guns down for target practice. We do that periodically. Anyone paying attention has to assume that there are now guns in the house.

Make that several dogs, get to know who belongs in "your" area, let neighbors know you have guns and use them.

I have lived on our place alone for awhile,
hubby is an over the road truck driver.
We are nearing our 5 year anniversery on our land. This coming July.

One thing to think about if you "target practice" to make yourself feel safer.

It also advertises you have guns, which are a high value target. It may attract as well as deter. Id rather let them try to GUESS if I'm armed

amelia:

I, too, am a single woman living in rural Washington state (more southwest, though). Of course, I'm not entirely alone since I still have three boys living at home. But, when it all began, they were 6, 5 and four months (they're now 18, almost 17 and just turned 12).

But, the boys go to their dad's (in Ellensburg) every other weekend and then spend half the summer there, so I am alone quite a bit.......and it doesn't bother me in the least. In fact, I love it! I make sure before they go that I won't be needing anything at the grocery or feed stores and then I do the "hermit" thing.

I've never been afraid or felt particularly vulnerable. It's been a long, long time since I lived "in town," so I can't really say if I would feel less safe in a populated area or not.

I recently commented to one of my kids that if I didn't have to go out and work for a living, I would probably be known as that crazy old hermit goat lady on the hill. His comment? "You already are!"

I, too, suggest the dog thing. I have five and there is no way anyone can come here without my getting LOTS of warning. I don't know how much of a deterrent they are if someone really wanted something I have, but I would find it hard to believe anyone would take the chance!

If you are having any reservations at all, the suggestion made to rent before you buy is a good one. That way, if it turns out to not be what you want, you're not out the down payment/investment.

Good luck (are you already in Washington?).

Janis

Kind of off-topic, but there is a great book called "Hawk Flies ABove - Journey to the remote heart of the sandhills" about a woman that goes back to her family's cabin in a very remote area of Nebraska. It is an interesting read.

Everyone else has great suggestions.