What would you do?

edit: yep, after reading the posts above, my advice would be to move. Also, stand up to FIL, if he comes to turn on your water, simply tell him not to. He sounds like a bully that is used to getting his own way.

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Did someone say that having family nearby was wonderful? Or that family was important?

Occasionally that may be true, but it seems as though dealing with family is often an exercise in frustration. Perhaps the romantic notion of what family should be like clouds our recognition of what family really is like.

Personal differences and personality clashes seem amplified by past family relationship patterns. Parents have difficulty viewing their adult offspring as adults – often continuing parental or authoritative attitudes throughout life. Siblings often continue childhood interaction patterns into adulthood (and often continue childlike behavior toward one another). Relations by marriage have all sorts of potential for difficulty based on social and background differences (often with negative implications toward one another).

In my experience, a minimum of two states away from family works best. Friends can be chosen for their positive attributes. Family cannot.

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Whether you believe you can or you believe you cannot – you are usually right.

This does not include flying or moving mountains unassisted or attempting to prove the existence of an “afterlife”.

Sell. Move away and don't invite the in-laws to your house. You can always go to their house for holiday dinners if you're invited. Why set yourself up for years of grief, anger and frustration?

It sounds like your DH has to walk a careful line with his father since he works for him. Is there any chance he could get another job? FIL sure seems to expect a lot for whatever he's paying your DH. Again, why set yourself up for years of stress that could lead to health problems?

Good luck.

He works in a field that can be found all over but considering he doesn't want to learn the computer aspect to the job, he would probably take a big pay cut which wouldn't be so bad once we no longer have a mortgage payment. It is something we have also been thinking about for the last 5 years. He wont give him any more pay raises because he says he is already being paid more than the average person in the field though he cut out our health insurance, and my husband has learned a one person system . My fil charges 70 a hour for his crew but yet my husband is the only person and he is paid $20 a hour. his dad makes much profit on him. That is the charges seperate from the office work. . That is just for the crew itself and not other charges.

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Farmer Manda
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Today is yesterdays tomorrow

I would have to move. The picture that you have painted means many hardships down the road for you. I would find some land ASAP and get the heck outta there. We, too, will be in the same situation as soon as Fentress Airfield is closed. The BRAC thing. Even though we live in a wildlife refuge zone, there still is plenty of land to develop. The owner of this land is now in a nursing home and his sons who are lawyers, dont want anything to do with farming. So, I know as soon as the jets are gone, development will happen. Curbing, city water, sewer, sidewalks, yuck, yuck, yuck. I will move.

We have some same problems here. If we are voting, my vote is to move ASAP. Start looking for a place much farther out. I've been harrasing my husaband for about a year to stop working for his parents, sell this place, take the money and pay cash for something much much farther out. My husband has yet to budge and I really don't bring it up much (unless something new happens that gets under my skin). He knows how I feel and I'm just hoping he'll come around at some point. If your husband is keen on the idea I say, sell now!

Good grief....I wouldn't have put up with a FIL like that for very long at all!
Move as soon as you possibly can. Hubby needs a different job too...time to cut the "control" cord from dad, that's what I think....
Good luck to you!

house on the market to be sold to the most annoying people you can find to buy it. and MOVE.

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Let a smile be your umbrella against the thunderstorms of life.
have a great day.
when i call on Jesus, all things are possible.

If you start puttiing in live stock just to be a pain pigs are the way. Results will be law suits and sure at first they will not win but you will have to have a lawyer and he will win right out of your pocket. You will eventually lose as several pig farms have recently and you will be removing all farm animals just because you decided to stink up the subdivision. Heck all they have to do is show this thread to the judge and jury and you have lost.

Sell and move but don't plan on moveing close to me as we have owned all the land around our farm and it is restricted against commercial raising of more than X number per acre. Once we did that all the other neighbors restricted theirs so we don't have pig parlors, milllions of chickens, or feeding lots that take your breath away. You can have any farm animals you wish but not a commercial feeding lot.
Remember if you want to start to do someting that will be in court for Gods sake don't admit to it on the internet.

lol, now if i can only convince hubby.. he thinks he can just ignore everything

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Farmer Manda
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Today is yesterdays tomorrow

Shadow, 3 pigs isn't exactly a commerical pig feeding lot. My neighbor is the one with 300 pigs. I only want 3 No one that I know of complains about the neighbor and I dont even smell their pigs.

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Farmer Manda
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Today is yesterdays tomorrow

Oh, well, then you are in the same boat as me

Amanda has been talking about gettin pigs forever, besides which we can't really comment on whether she would win or lose in court as it depends really on how strong the agricultural lobby is in her state.

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I agree

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marching to the beat of a different drummer

yep i sure have Zeal One of these days its going to happen, I just need to finish my pen. It means asking my FIL if I can have or at least buy off from him that one part. I forget the name. Charger? He has one that he wont ever use again because he is done with farming. He had cows. If I can get that from him then I have my electric fence and I wont have to bury my chain link :P Anyways im getting off topic here I want a few pigs no matter what. I think it would be neat. and it is only a bonus that it would drive away potential neighbors but you know, if they will have a problem with farm animals, at least they know in advance that we have animals here. They didn't move here and a few years down the road then we started getting them.

They can't have problems if the animals were here first right? Or do some people still complain even though they could have prevented it by not moving here in the first place?

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Farmer Manda
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Today is yesterdays tomorrow

i would put it up for sale but ask plenty for it. if it sells you can move farther out

One of those "For Sale By Owner" or by going through a realtor? We live on a pretty well traveled road despite being the country. It is a main drag to a few other little "towns" I am not sure if they are considered towns. They dont have much, just a bar in the center of each of them and otherwise nothing else. But either way, our road is the way to get there so it has decent traffic.

Now that I think about it. Once we put up a for sale sign for hubbys car... and he would take his car to work and the sign stayed out. We had several people call on our house though they thought it was a double wide. Our home is stick built They were like "yes i am calling on the doublewide for sale" lol. I figured they would expect a low price if it was actually a doublewide

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Farmer Manda
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Today is yesterdays tomorrow

You said your place is worth 130k? what about the parcels that are up for sale?
If it were mine i would list it for say 150k dont tell FIL
he will see it it
Have your DH stand up to him not ignore that will make it worse
Now IF your FIL helped you purchase the place he eels it is his in a kinda sorta way
which is why he helps him self to things if he didnt help with money to buy even if you payed it back your DH is employeed by FIL therefore he helped.
If you can get more than it is worth take the money and move the hell away

We bought the property after my fil bought the land for development. The property had two old trailers on it from previous use for migrant workers but the owner would not sell it to my fil because he knew my fil wanted to make money on it. So he refused.. then we sent an offer for us as a couple to build a house plus upped the amount from what my fil had offered a year earlier. He accepted. So basically my fil was thinking that we would live here and have a nice pretty yard that would boost his ability to sell his lots as opposed to a trashed yard with junk trailers and no one tending to it or eventually having migrant workers return. Many people do not want to live next to migrants.

He gave us 5,000 for our wedding in which we did turn around and use that to pay for our land. We had told him when he put the water basin in that if he wanted use of that land that he could pay us for it but he said "I gave you 5K that you bought that land with" so yeah he feels he had a part ownership. Even if the money was for our wedding.

My husband wants to keep ignoring everything and thinks things will go on fine. Maybe it will. I can't exactly sell this hosue without him so I will wait. He says I haven't convinced him yet that we need to move. Anyone know a good way to convince a man? The threat of future neighbors doesn't work LOL. Because in 2-3 years of the lots being up for sale, we only have one neighbor and he isn't even moved in yet.

The lots are going for somewhere around 8-10K an acre which is common in this area. We bought 2.25 acres for 20K though it did come with septic and well though they were unusable. His other lots in his other subdivision is selling for roughly the same amount.. Some a little under 10K and some a little above depending on the which lot. This subdivision would be prettier though it is all sand, and hard hard water. If he would flatten the ground, bring in black dirt and plant grass, he would sell the lots quickly. They have nice mature pine trees and a few oak.. Plus a bunch of them have a ravine running along the back full of mature hardwoods that have deer running through them.

I think its worth around 130K once our basement is finished. There is a bit more work I want to do to the yard before I would think it would fetch that price though. We need to finish a retaining wall on our hill. Right now its exposed sand with ferns and a few clumps of grass here and there.

If i could find my scanner cord I would show some pics of my yard.

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Farmer Manda
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Today is yesterdays tomorrow

You'd be surprized! Some people from the city move to the country, then complain that they don't have a convience store on the corner. I think they like the idea of living the country, but can't deal with the reality of it. Some move to the country and take to it like a duck to water. I hope your new neighbors turn out to be the duck type.

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