How do you do it? Budgeting

Come on comfortably numb join in the discussion,I see you reading this and surely you have something funny to say.

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marching to the beat of a different drummer

Morningstar,

You are not alone in being real and you have not made a mistake in being so. Please do not let other people being phony keep you from being real. Their mistakes do not detract from you or from other real people.My wife and I have met quite a few of the real people from Homesteading Today – at the Buffalo River gathering and through our network of friends developed through our “Homesteader Helper” lifestyle.

We can identify (but will not out of respect for personal communication) at least thirty people who are who they appear to be. We have not met one phony in person (perhaps because phonies cannot risk appearing in person).

It is tempting for some to portray an on-line persona that is very different from their real person. To me this indicates dissatisfaction with themselves and their reality and an obvious feeling of inferiority. Those who are good solid people who are not insecure about themselves have no need to create a phony persona.

It can sometimes be difficult to detect a convincing fraud; however, there are indications. Here are some I keep in mind when reading posts.

1) Lack of Consistency – Do the ideas and attitudes a person expresses presently differ with their previous statements? It is all but impossible for a phony to remember all their distorted positions and they often stumble over previous falsehoods.

2) Avoiding Openness – Phonies tend to make two types of mistakes in this regard. Either they tend to be unnecessarily secretive (perhaps correctly fearing that they can’t remember all their tales), or they tend to create elaborate hoaxes (incorrectly assuming that they can remember their tales).

3) Diverting attention away from themselves – Phonies seem to be drawn to criticizing the ideas of others while expressing few constructive ideas of their own – particularly by directing personal comments or personal attacks toward other forum members.

4) Incongruent lack of knowledge – A “homesteader” whose comments indicate a general lack of knowledge about plants and animals, for instance, is not likely to be real. A self-proclaimed “PhD and scholar” (who I encountered in a different forum) but who wrote at sixth-grade level and who couldn’t answer sincere, simple questions about his claimed field of expertise or about his claimed “credentials”, was a phony that convinced some that he was real. I enjoyed assisting him in demonstrating his phoniness and incompetence for all to see. He became so incoherent as to make personal threats of bodily harm.

5) Failure under pressure -- When pressed on an issue that would reveal their façade, the imposters refuse to answer simple questions, dodge issues, act indignant or above reproach, or simply disappear (the latter is preferable).

6) Reliance upon emotion and personal intimidation to “win” discussions and debates. Those who masquerade as something they are not become emotional or aggressive in an attempt to hide their deficiencies. They typically express resentment and anger toward those who refuse to be intimidated by emotional displays.

7) Unwarranted suspicion of others – The phonies KNOW from personal experience that people can be phony, and they often reflect that by expressing doubt about others.

8) Unsubstantiated claims – Anyone can claim anything in the anonymous world of the Internet. However, the most real and sincere people we meet on line and in person don’t have any need to make grandiose claims. Who and what they are becomes apparent with time and communication. The quiet homesteader who shares gardening tips and pictures of their homestead makes no claims while the “know-it-all” phony homesteader can’t post pictures (at least not authentic ones) of his/her homestead because s/he lives in the city and “learns homesteading” by reading books about what others do or have done.


This is not an exhaustive list nor is it guaranteed to identify every phony every time; however, it helps me identify them with some regularity. It is interesting to look at the posts in this thread with the above in mind.

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Whether you believe you can or you believe you cannot – you are usually right.

This does not include flying or moving mountains unassisted or attempting to prove the existence of an “afterlife”.

LOL great well thought out post Obser1. what you say rings true.

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marching to the beat of a different drummer

Obser - that's a very astute observation.

I've been reading this thread (most of it anyway) and find it most enlightening.

Angie

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"Live your life, and forget your age." Norman Vincent Peale

Oh, pshaw...don't let one person (MC) get anyone to thinking this site is full of phonies.
I'd bet there are more "real" people on this forum, who DON'T LIE, than about anywhere else on the internet.
Okay, so MC misrepresented some things --- he (or she?) really couldn't stand people not knowing about his (or her?) "accomplishment", and so had to trumpet the news that he was a fake and a con artist.

He outed himself...which is what most phonies do...one way or another.

I haven't lied about anything on this forum...I respect the people here too much. One thing I love about this board is the vibe I get that people are real, honest, down-to-earth country loving people...I'm not going to get one "bad apple" spoil the whole bunch.
And I didn't mean that as an insult to MC.
I imagine MC's habit of inventing his own reality will bite him in the butt soon enough (if it hasn't already.)

I think by looking at who is online now all the virtual reality enthusiasts have headed for greener pastures so I am off to bed now.

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marching to the beat of a different drummer

I dont blame Rocky rooster if I was smarter I would have a few people on ignore around here myself,but I want to be able to have the oportunity to argue my points or defend myself I cant imagine having a thread of mine have a few posts I cant read by the likes of MC or you on it. Most know better and jump to my defense I have a few guardian angels on this site but I still would feel the need to defend my views or myself, myself.__________________

Jnap u were not one of them. I just put on my ignore list liars and venomous mouths.

morningstar, please do not feel silly. i for one am who i am and always will be. I am no different in church, at work, or at home. and I just thank the Lord so much for teaching me how to discern people even in posts. words hold much weight, what comes out of the mouth is in the heart. i am not perfect and i am sure that there will come a time when i too will err. my hope will be that when i do, i will immediately apologize. and that the error was from just being to emotional and not from a wicked heart.

Jnap, i almost forgot to thankyou for the above post i copied on my post. LOL. Hope your not confused.

Anyhow, yeah that is kinda like i have no faith in homesteading today's guardian angels. learned another thing today. so am taking those off ignore list. where is my faith??? jeesh, sometimes i could just slap my ownself. thank you very much again.

KINDRED SPIRIT "One thing is for certain. Never believe what you read/see on the internet!!!" by KindredSpirit.

JNAP "Yes I would say MC has given us all a lesson there and perhaps it is good that we did not lose more than are innnocence this time. Though I feel we have all been made fools of."

I hope everyone actually reads my whole post. Jnap picked up on the last line but the intent of the whole post was actually to point out how different advertising was before computers. Computers have made it easy to misrepresent things if one so desires. (This is not a reflection on MC, merely stating that computers make that possible.)

Jnap, you are always genuine and that is what I like about reading your posts. They are refreshing!!

I recall MC stating many posts ago in a thread about how websites can be fake- a protect your kids thread- and then looked over MC's websites to see if they fooled me.

Sample websites can be unused except to advert her skills or used by her free or discount price receivers of work or by fullprice customers- if she says they're real and they aren't used except as her samples that's a stretch but otherwise no lie. And a website saying you're a consultant- well that's our social circle's standard joke that everyone who gets downsized (or quits) is a consultant whether or not they've ever done any paid consultancy work. And making your website to get business- well I'm a Dr (believe it or not) and the first time (if ever) I open a private office I'll put up a sign and await my first customer. And if I were younger and fresh out of school able to open my own practice it might be my first patient as a Dr who isn't still in training. And if I could have a virtual practice and not rent an exam room until I know I have 10 folks lined up to see me Monday why I'd absolutely do that instead.

Anyway just wanted to argue that a website for your consultancy is not dishonest, only claiming experience or customers you don't really have; is dishonest.

Offering to sell sheep that you do NOT have IS dishonest, as is offering to rent out rooms in a Bed-and-Breakfast that you do not own.

Offering to sell 100 ground beef recipes for $1 is NOT dishonest, providing that you can print them and deliver them in a reasonable time.

If you KNOW you CANNOT supply something but say that you CAN, that is dishonest.

Good grief, talk about thread drift, lol! How did we get so far from "how do I make it on 'x' $ a month and afford insurance, too"?

PcDreams, there's been a lot of good advice given in amongst the diatribes and accusations. I hope you are able to put some of it to use in your area and in VT when you get there. One thing I did when I was still in nursing school, many moons ago, really helped me survive without a full-time job, which I could not handle with school and kids. I would go to garage sales and look for good furniture (couches, dining room sets, etc) that needed cleaning, maybe some really easy repairs (resewing a seam, for instance). I'd buy them super cheap, bring them home (good thing you have a truck), give them a good scrubbing, do the mending (hand stitching works), and then place an ad in the local daily paper to sell them. For some reason, something someone would only spend $50 on at a garage sale, would bring $150 if advertised in the paper. If I only spent $25 on it, less than $5 on repairs and cleaning supplies (didn't have a steam cleaner starting out, bought one with the proceeds of the first few sales), and $5-10 on the ad, maybe $40 into it, sold for $150, that's $110 profit. A couple of those a month would pay for insurance for both of you through your wife's employment.

I also made a lot of money back then by buying garage sale baby equipment and cleaning it up, same thing - an ad in the paper brought buyers that were willing to spend more for clean, safe baby equipment. Think highchairs, modern cribs, swings, maybe carseats if they are current and haven't been in an accident. Maybe baby equipment doesn't do it for you, but I had 2 small boys back then, so I knew my market and did very well.

It helped that I lived in town back then, as you do. Folks could call me, run over and see what I had to offer in a short drive, and I only took cash, so the money was instant with every sale. Now that I live in the boonies, I only bother to buy queen-sized beds for resale. They are in demand, and folks are willing to travel to my out-of-the-way home to buy them.

Find your niche market, and work it. If you like to make birdhouses, you can get the materials free at building sites, or pick up free pallets at businesses and use the wood from them for materials. There are lots of books on how to make birdhouses at the library - either for real birds or for decoration. Freecycle can be used to find free paint, old knobs etc for trim and decorations. I won a pair of birdhouses at the fair a couple years ago, and I use them as decoration inside my house. Nothing but rough cut boards, bundles of sticks and moss, and a couple old (or faked old-distressed) wooden knobs and a couple little handpainted signs with sayings like "Home Tweet Home". Very easy and simple, but cute. You don't have to have a ton of money into materials to get a home business started. You can sell your birdhouses at craft shows, on consignment at handcrafts stores, over the internet/ebay, farmer's markets, advertising in front of your (decorated with birdhouses, of course) house, lots of options.

Do you have a wood stove? If not, get one. I'm not saying spend a bunch of money on one. Through garage saling and Freecycle, Craig's List and similar sites, you can probably find a free or nearly free box stove - I even got a free Earthstove once. Same thing with the stovepipe and cap. Use those skills you are gaining in home repairs/improvements to install it. The same wood that you pick up for building birdhouses will burn just fine for heat. Do check your homeowner's policy (I'm assuming that if you have a house payment, you probably have a requirement to have homeowner's insurance), and make sure you jump through the hoops to have the stove installation certified so it doesn't void your insurance policy. That will save you a lot on heating for 6 months of the year and with a non-insulated home, that's important (can help your resale value, too).

Have you written down every penny that you spend for several months to see where the month goes (I have a feeling you have, but others in the same situation may not have done so yet)? This lets you see what unexpected expenses crop up to blow the budget, as well as what you can trim from the budget. Over time, keeping track of every penny also lets you see what recurring expenses need to be budgeted for in advance. For example, if you are paying the car insurance monthly, chances are that you are paying a fee each month for that privilege, either by paying that monthly fee or by not being able to take a "discount" for paying in full every 6 months. My insurance is 10% cheaper if I pay it every 6 months, in full, rather than monthly. If I don't budget for that twice-yearly expense, I spend more than I have to for car insurance. There again, selling one or two pieces of furniture, or using some other income stream to generate the extra money to put aside each month toward that expense, will meet the goal of saving 10% off the car insurance.

Want to cut the gas expense and stop driving your wife back and forth to work? Sell a few pieces of furniture or a lot of birdhouses, and make sure the cheap, high gas mileage car you buy with the proceeds is an automatic so your wife can drive it! That cuts your gas expense in half, and pays for that cheap car (lots of them out there for $500 or so) in a few months. Then put that money toward paying off your farm equipment or buying that insurance (health or auto). One small car for commuting, and your big pickup for hauling home lumber, garage sale buys, and cleaning out people's basements (and making you MONEY) should cover your needs. Even cheaper, if your wife's job is on the bus line and during hours the bus runs (not always an option, I know), is to have her ride the bus. A monthly bus pass is cheaper than gas/oil/insurance/tires/maintenance.

For more ways to stretch the dollars you have, and to avoid spending them , check out the tightwad tips thread at Countryside Families. There are lots of good ideas posted there. Hope these ideas help you or others who are still reading after getting through the nasty posts.

Thanks everybody that responded about my post. I'm glad I'm not the only "real" one! On the internet it is so easy to be false. I could never keep up with such a thing (who has time for that!). Thank goodness there are more real ones than false I guess.

Good idea!

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This is the government the Founding Fathers warned us about.....