Do you have this problem?

Thank you all.

I am far from being a "city girl". I was born and raised in the hills of upstate NY (near Binghamton of all places!!) and have always had a craving to get back to my roots. As a little girl I picked dandelion and milkweek greens for our dinner table, went frogging and fishing with my dad and even helped him skin rabbits (not something I miss, btw lol).

I do recognize the hard work, so I will only do what I feasibly can. I'm not even close (unfortunately) to selling my house, quitting my job and moving out to the boonies, but I figure that I don't have to wait to start my homesteading/self-reliant life - I can take small steps toward that now. That's been my whole problem - waiting. I kept thinking I had to wait till I was living some where else or wait till I had a partner to help. I can be developing skills WHILE I wait for those other things

Thank you so much for the wonderful welcomes! It is nice to be able to talk to a diverse bunch of people with a common thread between us.

Oh, just a disclaimer: My family is wonderfully supportive. My parents encourage me and help me. We love it! The friends...well either they just don't understand, or those who do live a "country" life...well, I think part of it is perhaps they feel threatened because I am learning something they used to keep for themselves and the knowledge I am gaining is now surpassing theirs. I also think that some people are just doom and gloomers with every idea that is not their own. Blah.

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Funny you say your from upstate NY. MY great-grandparents had a farm house in Utica that we would spend all of our summers at. I think this is why I am where I am today. Those summers were the best times in my life. I loved going to and being in the the counrty, now Im living it. And the town we were in was called Oriskany a one light one stop sign town. Now Im in a one blinking light town LOL
John

................The more often you remind them of your future goals , the more frequently they'll remind you of WHAT you haven't accomplished . So keep your own counsil , and quietly pursue your goals with the dedication that THEY don't possess and you'll arrive at your destination with your sanity in tact . fordy...

John,

just a quick hello from a fellow Long Islander! I grew up in Suffolk county out on the east end.

Just couldn't resist saying hello to someone from home.

Nikki

At least half of my family thinks I am nuts and the other half knows I am crazy. That is okay. I live my life the way I want. They don't have a clue what we do or how we live and I just as soon not associate with them if that is the way they are. They are family. They live where they want. Some in the city, some with 2 houses = a"country" and a nyc. Some have just city aspirations and keep telling us to sell the animals and move out of the god forsaken area so we can visit more. Frankly I would rather visit with the pigs and cows. I am not rude and do not say it that way but I do believe that.

I enjoy where and how we live and I wouldn't trade it for anything. You just need to follow your heart and your dreams. When it feels right to you then you know it is right for you. I have a sense of belonging to the land I live on with my family. I am happy. As you make the transition to being more self sufficient you will be able to develop that and find that same peace. Be true to what you believe in and they will eventually either drift away or accept it. You will also find other people in your area who like the way you are wanting to live and will be supportive. Relax - above all else and enjoy.

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Its a good day, I woke up on the right side of the grass.

Niki,
I'm in north central Ohio, halfway between Cleveland and Columbus..not too far from you.

I have the same problem but with family. Some are very supportive, and some just roll their eyes, especially when they come to visit and are greeted by squawking guineas and free ranging chickens. We've been asked if we were going to clear out the trees to make room for a lawn. A LAWN!? Sure, just what we need..something to mow!

People come and visit and have coffee on our patio overlooking the woods. They sigh at how beutiful it is, then fuss when a cherry blossom blows into their cup.

We are happy here. We know a contentedness these people will never have. Isn't that really all that matters? Oh yes, it's frustrating, though, when we have things that are so exciting for us..like finding a nest full of guinea eggs or discovering deer beds..and we can't share them with anyone we know IRL.

Thank heaven for HT!

Some of our friends envied us and made excuses about why they could never do it, others didn't believe that we'd actually do it, and others thought we were just insane for wanting to get back to basics.

The latter two groups can go pound sand, when we go back to the city to visit or do business, they either avert thier eyes so they don't have to talk to us or smile and make fake small talk, but the first group mentioned comes to visit us here in the woods, and at least one familiy of them is now shopping for land.

Hmmm....who were our real friends?

I gained a great deal of freedom when I decided I didn't give a dam_ what anyone thought of my decisions.

Being free to live life by one's own decisions means that one must disregard the wishes and advice of the vast majority of acquaintances, family and friends. They will almost always disagree with and discourage any decision that is not within their personal comfort zone (and expect you to conform to their ideas rather than following your own).

I have found over the past forty or fifty years with this attitude that the herd goes one way and I almost invariably seem to be headed in other directions. I do not "rebel" against anything – what the herd does is no concern of mine.

I have also found that only very seldom can we "take anyone with us".

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Whether you believe you can or you believe you cannot – you are usually right.

This does not include flying or moving mountains unassisted or attempting to prove the existence of an “afterlife”.

exactly

My thoughts exactly.

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The less I seek my source for some definitive - The closer I am to fine.

http://williampalmerhomestead.weebly.com/

Thanks again for the support. My situation is unlike some described here. I have gotten a few poke "fun" at me with the assumption that if I want to grow my own food, I must be living somewhere that only has an outhouse available...the ignorance. Sheesh. Things like that I can easily ignore. I feel sorry for people who just don't get it.

The major thing that was bothering me though, was a relatively overinflated ego that came from a *friend* who cans, sews, gardens, bakes bread, etc. and her belittling attitude that made me feel like I must be an idiot or something. I went to her for instruction, not sarcasm. I didn't get any instruction other than I should buy an electric sewing machine instead of sewing by hand. Part of the desire to sew by hand was the therapy factor like I get when I cross-stitch. It wasn't necessarily to solely produce a finished product, but to enjoy the peacefulness ALONG WITH sense of satisfaction once the project was completed.

I'm sorry that people have not accepted your lifestyles for those of you who have mentioned it. I am still so much "on grid" (is that the right way to say that? "grid" is a new term for me LOL) that there's no real outward evidence of my lifestyle choice at this time that proves to be "bizarre" to others. That day will come, however, and I would imagine I will catch some flack for it - - that is IF I tell anyone

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If you believe strongly enough that you want something, don't let other people discourage you or try to talk you out of things. Go do what you have always wanted to do for years, you will never be hapy if you don't at least try. You can do it! Thanks Chris

Thanks, Chris. That's exactly what I'm gonna do I totally agree, btw. I have lived too many years trying to please other people and you know what? It doesn't work. They are never happy and neither am I.

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Niki, you hit it right on with:
Living to please others Never works.

The "friend" you mention who acts superior, belittles you and refuses to share knowledge is NOT a friend at all. You will find much better friends here on the forum – people who will gladly share knowledge and give you encouragement without attempting to appear superior.

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Whether you believe you can or you believe you cannot – you are usually right.

This does not include flying or moving mountains unassisted or attempting to prove the existence of an “afterlife”.

I hear ya. We're nowhere near as rural as many folks here, but our families think we're a bit unhinged. Well, my mom doesn't. Mom understands. My issue with her is something different. But my FIL keeps teasing us - "well, did you find out you got in over your head yet?" My SIL, who lives in a nice house in a terrible neighborhood says she can't imagine living in such a weird place (the feeling is mutual).

The neighbor across the street is nice, but I get the feeling she's watching me and waiting for me to slip up and do something stupid to prove I really wasn't ready for rural life. Sigh.

You can't please 'em all.

What came to mind when I read your post was my mom's attitude. While she's very supportive in theory, if I listened to her I'd never *do* anything. She's a master procrastinator and seems to want the rest of the world to be that way, too. "Oh, don't bother with that today, you can do it another time." It's either too late, too cold outside, too rainy, too sunny, too hot, she's worried I'm working too hard, she thinks I should do something fun instead, etc. And she says I'm too impatient.

When people assault me with their negativity, I try to remember THEY are the ones with the issues, not me. Maybe your friends/family have fears, unrealized dreams, frustrations, etc. they're redirecting onto your situation. It didn't work/wouldn't work for them, so why would it work for you?

Just do your own thing and prove 'em wrong.

I am a Bible believer,but whether you are or not,this verse from I Thessalonians chp. 4 verses 11-12 NIV really helps me when people start putting me down because of my decisions to homestead.
Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and to mind your own business and to work with your hands just as we told you.That you may win the respect of outsiders and not be dependent on anybody.
The bottom line is to go about your business and don't worry about what others think and don't argue with them.

edayna, this is exactly how I feel the *friend* is coming across toward me. She expects me to fail (or so is my perception of her actions/words) and wants to hear the story later so she can be entertained by it. She has always been a rather miserable person, but has some lovable characteristics, too, otherwise I would have probably washed my hands of her long ago

rggambrell, Thank you for posting the verse. I am a Bible believer as well, so it means a lot.

As many have mentioned, I should probably just keep to myself. Which is a rather funny thing to even say because I could sooooooooo easily be a "hermit"! All I need is my place in the middle of no where, learn a few more skills, and I can be anti-social for the rest of my pea-pickin' (literally lol) life! *w00t* *w00t*

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