Coping with Isolation...

Thanks for the encouragement BCF! Yes, I still need to get some more firewood in but I get discouraged because I seem to keep picking wood that
is too "punky" (i.e. getting too rotten). Since I got here so late I had no time
to let the wood season, so I am having to pick already down wood to cut in
the hopes that it is already dry. Alas, most of the wood is not adequate (but
it WILL burn;-). Maybe all us Minnesota folks can start a get-together at some future time? That would be cool.
james

__________________
"These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert, to fleece the people..."
Abraham Lincoln, from his first speech as an Illinois state legislator, 1837

"Hmmmm, suggestions, get outside in the winter, even when it's icky (I'm in MN too, northern MN). Walk, ski, whatever you like. And there are always things to do. Always. Garden planning is a good idea. Barn planning and future constructino projects are a good idea. Soon, you will be amazed at what you can do with little money; it's just different from some of the leisure things you might have done in the city that required more money. Give yourself time for this change. I think it took me a good two years to start feeling like I actually might like it here -- just about the time I started to really connect with some of my best friends."

Thanks Cat! I guess I just have gotten off to a bad start. The one time I
went out (and took my stupid ill-behaved dog for a walk) my dog went after
a critter and made me fall on the ice! Hurt like HELL!! So bad that I thought
I had dislocated my shoulder, and two weeks later my shoulder still hurts ;-)
I'll get out again, but I'll leave the dog in the yard. But yes, it will take time
and I am committed to staying here one year...although I miss my family
terribly! Especially, my 82 year old mother...
james

__________________
"These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert, to fleece the people..."
Abraham Lincoln, from his first speech as an Illinois state legislator, 1837

Soon as I get enough money for one (maybe in the spring?) I want a donkey!
I also heard they can eat all this ---- Burdock that is so abundant here.
james

__________________
"These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert, to fleece the people..."
Abraham Lincoln, from his first speech as an Illinois state legislator, 1837

I already have a hobby that is PERFECT for out here. Astronomy! It is dark
as the ace of spades right from my front porch ;-) Just too ---- cold at
night to stay out too long! Btw, I am a very gregarious person and just kinda
miss people sometimes...
james

__________________
"These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert, to fleece the people..."
Abraham Lincoln, from his first speech as an Illinois state legislator, 1837

Yes, computers make things A LOT easier! But if things don't turn around
I may be forced to let my landline go (and thus my pc) and just exist with
the cell phones. If so, I'll just go to the local library for access.
james

__________________
"These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert, to fleece the people..."
Abraham Lincoln, from his first speech as an Illinois state legislator, 1837

[QUOTE=canfossi]WHy don't you try to get fulltime employment and then you wil be able to make some extra money to get some things done around the homestead that need to be repaired."

Yes, I have been looking for full-time work. Tomorrow I go in for a drug test
that may lead to a boring factory job, but at least it will be full-time (with
Fri, Sat, and Sundays off!). Wish me luck! (with the drug test that is ;-)
james

__________________
"These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert, to fleece the people..."
Abraham Lincoln, from his first speech as an Illinois state legislator, 1837

Sage advice Quint! Its sometimes hard to do nothing (in fact, thats why I was never a good Buddhist--I can't sit still to meditate!). I need to rid my
soul of the hectic pace of the city!!
james

__________________
"These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert, to fleece the people..."
Abraham Lincoln, from his first speech as an Illinois state legislator, 1837

A thousand dollars should do it! Do you need my address? ;-)
As I said before, we just have been hit with a lot of bad luck
lately. My DW crashed her car and totalled it (and we only had
liability!--kind of like Cabin Fever) and she lost her job almost
simultaneuosly. (And many other things too numerous to mention).
So it will be good if I get this job tomorrow...
As far as the projects, I would build a coldframe to get the winter
vegetable production going and I also need to get the dampness out
of the basement to start a root cellar (we got all kinds of apples, squash,
etc. going to go bad). The basement leaks because their is some foundation
work that needs to be done (house was built in 1910). I guess thats a start!
james

__________________
"These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert, to fleece the people..."
Abraham Lincoln, from his first speech as an Illinois state legislator, 1837

Gosh there's lots of responses here. I'll add one more. You've solved other problems in your own unique way. Do it again. Are you a thinker? Then read, write poetry, pray. Are you a social person? Then talk here, keep a journal of wildlife sightings, do some nature photography - make the woods your friend. Are you a physical person? Work out, get in the best shape of your life so you'll hit the ground running next spring! Maybe all of the above. Good luck and you truly are not alone. The fact that so many people responded is kind of evidence that a lot of homestead types can relate to this topic.
Once I get involved in my life, my brain forgets to fester over my loneliness and I just start having fun. There is not time enough in the day, and I don't seem to need people too much at all.
Try sending letters to any elderly, shutins, etc. you can find out about.

Isolation.

In a general sense I will address this from a little different perspective.
While living in the big city, what are you 'addicted' to by being there?
driving when you really don't have to...picking up items at quick stops, shopping, etc.? In the isolation of country living, you do less of that and maybe feel 'something missing' by that.
If you were 'addicted' to the city culture by the events you went to there and 'miss' them by living in the country, you'll have withdrawal...and maybe NEVER get used to isolation. A choice you'll have to try and make.

I enjoy my peace and quiet, isolation, hermitatious moments, or whatever you want to call it. Shout to loud about your peace, and you may regret it with a flood of visitors. But you may want that, so nothing stops you from inviting neighbors or gathering whenever there is some community social.
Doing things around the place or having more animals, etc. may not do it. It may just give you more 'WORK', but it may not quelch your dissatisfaction.
Have a talk with yourself about what you really want.

__________________
The human spirit needs places where nature has not been rearranged by the hand of man.

There are NO white Doves in this area, but one came to visit me. It sat down in my path and talked to me. I replied and went about my chores. Then later was contacted again by this white Dove and it came to me, with in a couple of feet and talked to me again. I'm having a problem with this message. But I do know one thing,"live every moment as if it is the last one". I stay very busy and need to do ALL those things that I need to do, being retired and older. TIME is a gift, don't waste it.

I actually love being a Hermit. There are times that I have gone weeks without leaving our place.

__________________
Rachel

http://theworldofgoats.proboards77.com
The Message Board for Goats.

James- check for a PM.

I can relate to your isolation issues. I worry aboout feeling too alone when we get to our place permanantly. We have never stayed for more than 14 days, and it's never hit me yet- but 14 days is not a long time either. I respect you for making the move cold turkey. We have had a steady stream of family issues including parents in Hospice, and haven't made the break yet. My magic number at my desk is 34 (working days), but our union contract is in negotioation, so I may wait a month more.

BTW- Did you really think CF hit a deer- far as I could tell it was an analogy about people wanting all of their medical needs paid for.

Be Well

Rick

We moved out here from Fresno, CA when I graduated. Four of us kids and mom. She grew up in north central Ks. and I was born and lived in Abilene, Ks. til 9 yrs old. BIG culture shock for rest of family - not me. I remembered Ks. Lived half of my married life in country and actually prefer it. I have lonely days, too. We just moved this Feb. between 3 small towns and 1/2 hour from town we raised daughter in. I have found all three of those towns have something to offer. I am fortunate as I have met a lot of those people this spring/summer/fall selling them asparagus, tomatoes, blackberries and small amount of apples (due to freeze in spring) here at our place. Football and basketball games, garage sales, auctions, and EVERY small town has a coffee joint/cafe/gas station gathering place. Daughter and hubby have been haunting them Sat. mornings and some of the best eating in nearby downtown eatery (only one in this town). Be a regular, pick up a paper, take an interest, go to library (good suggestions by the way). When you live in the country you have to get out of yourself and put yourself out to be accepted. Not easy for some; but gradually your problems will not seem so big. Go to church - lots of potlucks; home bible study got my husband out of his shell - he loves it now. Even helps pick up and takes interest in evening "brunch" daughter and I offer. Once a month it is our turn - informal, just a blast. Hang in there, order them spring catalogs, map out plans for next spring and goals, cut that wood, get that job in town. That's a good way to know locals, too. Good luck - you can do it! Think about the alternative....!!

Can you invite them for a weekend visit? PErhaps they have a 3 day weekend sometime?

Any body can get a case of cabin fever. The trick is to know when it's serious. My rule is this: Talking to myself is fine. Answering myself if fine too. However, when I start bringing an imaginary third party into the conversations I have with myself I know it's time to go talk to the mail carrier or any one else that's handy.

Won't be long before you'll love the solitude. I bet a year from now you'd go nuts if they put you back in the city.

Additionally, if what you really need is just plain people, I feel the very best short-burst dose of pure humanity to cure your lonesome blues is to go to a square dance, folk, contra, etc.

Such good vibes. Try one if you get the chance, it'll keep you going for a month.

Its a two day solid drive from Houston, Tx. to where I live here in SE Minnesota. Most of my family don't have enough money to come and visit
so I will have to get down there. I plan on flying down next spring and then
flying my mom up next summer. (Btw, its a 2 1/2 hour drive just to the airport
in Minneapolis!) Thanks for your concern.
james

__________________
"These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert, to fleece the people..."
Abraham Lincoln, from his first speech as an Illinois state legislator, 1837

Thanks for your response Rick! No, I knew CF was joking (but I will admit
that it took me 3/4 of a way through his post before I realized it ;-)
Things are looking up here. I got that job and I start tomorrow afternoon!
Four ten-hour shifts w/ Fri, Sat, Sun off will be SWEET. Good luck on your
eventual move!
james

__________________
"These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert, to fleece the people..."
Abraham Lincoln, from his first speech as an Illinois state legislator, 1837

"There are several other examples I could give, but what it breaks down into is that what I myself felt was isolation was in a bigger sense, culture shock. I can't just run down to Comp USA to get my keyboard replaced on my notebook, as the nearest is a 600 mile round trip. Even the simplest things are hard, as if I moved to a foreign country. Asking for directions to the lady who sells milk and eggs was a huge production, as the landmarks did not include house number, or color, which would have had me there in a jiffy, but the "old racing boat in the yard, right across from the Timberline Cafe". There were several unidentifiable buildings, and about four old boats across from the Timberline Cafe. It took us two days to find it, driving by over and over until I saw a little sign that said Eggs for Sale, and there it was."

Bresias,
I think "culture shock" is a good way to describe some of my feelings as well.
I think most differences that I see are mostly positive...people at the bank
and the phone company address me by my name when I come into do business, people seem to go out of their way to be helpful, etc. I am the one
that still has all the city "attitudes" that I need to shed (as someone here has
already mentioned). For instance, I am in too big a hurry up here. I no longer
ask for directions (at least I try not!) because of just as you say--it turns into a big production and people actually take the TIME to explain it fully. Of
course, it really says a lot about the people up here that are willing to give such time (which is really a prescious commidity) to a complete stranger!
I realize these are "ailments" that I have brought with me from the big city,
and I will try my best to cleanse myself of them. Its kind like we have been
infected with these negative social habits from living amongst such a great population density, and now we are carriers of some disease. No wonder some
locals avoid us like the plague! Good luck in your endeavors.
james

__________________
"These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert, to fleece the people..."
Abraham Lincoln, from his first speech as an Illinois state legislator, 1837