mortgage questions...

Good lord, get off of my duff? You don't know anything about me. You have no idea how much work I've been doing on this. just because I don't share every single detail with you doesn't mean you have the right to judge me. Well maybe you do. Do you have any money to give me to file a law suit to sue the lawyer, well I don't. How about giving me a freaking break. Sheez. Alright, later. I knew it would spiral down to this.

I really don't need this kind of feedback right now. This isn't General Chat.

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Wow! You sure are in a fine pickle and that lawyer isn't helping one bit. Niether is her "pet" process server.

First of all, you CAN fire the lawyer. I have done it a number of times with ones who were less than attentive to the matters they were handling for me at the time . . . and I work for the critters (have worked for a LOT of them in several states) and I know what most of them are like, and have seen it happen to ones I worked for, too. Okay - so you fire her - what do you do for money. Well, you gave her $1,000, right? I don't think she's done $1,000 worth of work for you, so you should have a refund coming. You want an ITEMIZED bill!! Now I can't guarantee that she won't try to bill you $750 or $800 for what she hasn't done, but whatever refund you can get is at least something. Maybe you can get more. If you decide to do this, write her a letter (best to have everything in writing), tell her you realize there have been problems, but that things HAVE to move along and X has to happened by Y date or you will have no choice but to either seek other counsel or drop the thing or go bankrupt or something, but that SOMETHING has to happen and NOW!! Send that letter Certified Mail, Return Receipt Requested -- it will cost almost $5 for that, but well worth it. She appears to be way out of her league in dealing with an uncooperative spouse like your soon-to-be-ex, so she might be glad to transfer the case to someone else. You might want to include the fact that if things don't happen like you want, you will be going to the County Bar Association (and/or State Bar Association) Grievance Committee. (By the way I have gotten people served who were in the military, or missionaries in Korea or China, or living in other strange places, served with divorce papers - so it CAN be done!)

If you have any more problems with her, run - dont' walk - to your County Bar Association and lodge a complaint against her with the local Grievance Committee (this is a "free" process). Write THEM a letter, Certified Mail, Return Receipt Requested. Do NOT let THEM stall with having a hearing either. Spell it all out. If you have chronicled this whole saga, tell them every time you saw her, every time you called her, everything you can remember. Also, if she tries to get over $500 for what she has already done, you can also complain to them about her fee and how she charged you for doing virtually nothing. Maybe they can refer you to someone who can straighten the whole mess out.

The usual way around here to serve "missing" spouses is to publish it in a newspaper -- any newspaper -- in the county where they were living or where their parents live or any other reasonable place where they or their relatives who know where they are might see it and then he would be considered to have notice of the proceedings. This procedure has to be ordered by the Judge, however, and takes a bit of paperwork and sometimes a court appearance.

There is also a process where if there are extenuating circumstances that an Order to Show Cause (like why the house shouldn't/couldn't be sold, and whatever else needs to be done) is served at the same time the summons and complaint is served and there is a hearing with the Judge within a week or so at most -- time set by the Judge.

Also, if you have a university/college nearby wth a law school, sometimes they do free legal work with the students doing the work under the supervision of the professor/lawyers. Probably better quality than the one you've been working with. You might check with the Bar Association on that as well.

About the process server - they are generally licensed by your state. If you have his address, write HIM a Certified Mail, Return Receipt Requested letter and tell him that if he doesn't do whatever it is he hasn't done by X date that you are going to email the State Attorney General's Office (fraud), the Secretary of State (who oversees licensing), the County District Attorney (fraud), and he'd better check his malpractice insurance and get ready to begin a new business, 'cause he ain't gonna be serving process for anyone anywhere in your state very shortly.

The word "malpractice" will definitely get the attention of both of these losers, if you find it necessary to really pull out the big guns!

About the house -- even if you were the only one to own it -- if you can't rent it because no one would want it, you probably wouldn't be able to sell it either. Does your homeowners insurance cover "flooding"? What kind of flooding are we talking about here?? Is there a river nearby? Is it just the basement getting flooded? Could you make a claim under your homeowners insurance and maybe get the flooding thing fixed or temporarily taken care of?

You might want to double or triple check this, but I have been in your position (more or less) before and have worked on many, many divorce cases with similar circumstances. If I found myself in your position now, I would sell off whatever of my stuff, his stuff and household stuff that I could to get some cash. You probably cannot sell anything that is a vehicle because you don't have the titles to them, so the buyer wouldn't have the title, which they would want -- and there's a whole bunch of legal malarky (on the federal level) that goes with that. HOWEVER, if I did sell things, I would keep very, very meticulous records of what I sold and when I sold it and for how much. Then I would be sure that those exact amounts were used to pay ONLY the mortgage, the homeowners insurance, taxes, utilities, repairs, and house-related expenses. Document all of it in case you need that information later.

And, one more thing. There is such a thing as a "deed in lieu of foreclosure." This means that you (and he) could sign a deed giving up the house to the mortgage holder. They save foreclosure fees and you save the payments and get out from under the mortgage. It isn't a real good thing (you at least have a good reason for doing it), but not nearly as bad as foreclosure or bankruptcy. Your lawyer should have told you about this. With the deed in lieu of foreclosure, it is usually a "wash" - no money changes hands. You get rid of the house, and they mortgage holder gets your problem. I don't know if you could do this with only you doing it for your interest in the property. The lawyer should know or be able to find out. Isn't that an "interesting thought" -- your soon-to-be-ex and the mortgage company owning the property jointly. Bet they'd have HIM jumping through some hoops!! hehe Law vary from state to state, but this is something you might want to check into.

Have you talked to the mortgage company and told them what is going on and how bad it is, etc. etc. etc.??? You could call on the phone - from somewhere else in case they have caller I.D. - give them the circumstances etc. anonymously until they tell you whether they can help or not. They sometimes have special programs for divorced or divorcing ladies; maybe you would qualify for one of those. One of the gals I work with just discovered that there were such programs out there.

Isn't there some way you could fix the place up -- keep/get the water out?? With the animals you have, what makes you think that you could rent a place that will take animals any cheaper than you can live where you are? I don't see any apartment complex letting a pig in on their beige carpeting!

Good luck with all this. Please keep us posted on how you are doing.

MaryNY

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"...creating & living an independent, self-reliant, building constructing, garden-/animal-raising, food-preserving, ecologically sound, solar/off-the-grid, self-made, individualistic lifestyle..."

Look here now...I wasn't insinuating you were lazy..and my advice about suing your ineffective lawyer makes absolute sense. You are asking for a miracle..yet you fail to recognize good advice. You have already paid for services (lawyer and process server) that you have not received..so what kind of advice do you expect?

But if it were me..I'd be putting pressure on that lawyer..and threatening to sue for damages. I sure wouldn't have waited around for six months letting the lawyer I paid for give me the run around. That's the flat out truth..and if you don't want to acknowledge it..then you go right ahead and keep doing things your way. If you can't see the logic of my advice..then maybe you shouldn't be asking for advice.

Geez...I get so annoyed at people who ask for advice and then they get upset because its not what they were expecting.

MaryNY,
Very very fine explanation. I'm gruff and you are professional. I'm glad your words are so fine as to make my coarse reply ineffectuale. You are to be commended..highly.

1. Call your state offices, find out how to file a complaint against your attorney. Tell them you believe he's "CHURNING" (going through the motions to charge more money without moving forward)

2. Write a * registered, return receipt requested* letter to your attorney advising him he has 10 days to get everything filed, that you paid "in good faith" (another key phrase) to have it served. If he does not do this in 10 days, advise him you will file a complaint with the state against him and his server.

3, In the letter, tell him you expect this to be finalized within 2 months or again, you will again file a complaint with the state. Advise him you will tell the state he is churning. I've found that's an unbelievable motivating word to attorneys.

Write in short, direct, firm sentences. Edit, edit, edit. Just like an atty.

4. Get a notebook. List dates, times, & what was said. You need to keep a paper trail, hence return receipt letters. Let your atty know this. Gives leverage to your complaint letter.

5. Attorneys do not like to sue attorneys. Have patience & og to the state.

* * *

Family heirlooms? If not too many, keep em. Put a notice in the paper (3 time) to try to find his brother.

What about putting 3 consecutive notices in the local paper? If no reply, in some states you can legally sell stuff that way.

* * *

I just found out an easy way to sell... SWAP MEET space rental here is $7.00 a day, $12.00 a weekend. NO picture taking, no mailing, no waiting around for people to show up, all done in one swoop. Epecially for one who lives in the middle of nowhere. Next weekend new wood stove, pipe and other stuff are goin' to the swap meet!
Just another option for you.

* * *
See if your vehicle's are titled as "and/or" if so you can sell them. All vehicles should be titled that way - in case of illness, if for no other reason.

Don't let an attorney tell you you can't sell stuff. If you live in a community property state OR if there's no paper trail that he didn't buy "the thing" with his separate money, there is NO PROOF that you didn't buy it. What happens, is it turns into a "he said, she said" argument in court, That is hard to proove. Especially since this joker disapeared, he's going to look bad if it ever gets to court. He left, so probably didn't take paperwork with him. I'm going through this myself right now, although mine's in jail.

* * *

Land: If you sell land that floods "for months" you MUST DISCLOSE it or you can be sued. If you can stop the flooding, ie; by digging a retention basin or berming, get *written* bids, then discount the price of the property by the amount of the bid. I was a reator for 13 years, so have some experience in this. If it is in a flood plain, it will be public record.

Say, how long have you owned this property? Was the flooding discosed to you...I wonder if the statute of limitations has run out....

Good LUCK... Be creative... think nasty thoughts, they can have seeds that can motivate you positively.

Phew, this is a lllllong post. Hope it helps.

First of all don't "look here" me. I want you to note 3 SPECIFIC questions I asked:

" Is there ANY other way to sell the house without getting his name off of the mortgage?

Does anyone know how I can find my ex's brother with just a name and a city/state? I think the brother would help at least take his stuff.

Does anyone know a mortgage company that would refinance without the tremendous fees?"

Other than that keep your smart a*! non-informed opinion to your self. I've got an idea, how about you go to work for the suicide hotline? I'm sure your senstivity would be much appreciated. Maybe you are well meaning, but I would never know by the way you approached it. My nerves are raw and why don't you consider the WAY you speak as a courtesey. I'm sure everyone on this board that you've made cry would appreciate that.

No your opinion makes no sense. Yes it took her 2 months to file, but she did file. I don't have the freaking money to get another lawyer to sue her nor do I know how to do it without a lawyer. This is what I've got and I'm trying to make the best of it. I am putting pressure on the lawyer. I go sit in her office, and I call her and bug the crap out of her every day till she finally caved in and gave me the number of the process service she was using. Prior to that she wouldn't even give me that information.

I wasn't annoyed because you were giving "advice" I was annoyed because 1. you are TOO rude for this section of the board and 2. I had specific questions none of which you answered. So how about you get off your duff and come kiss mine. I'm at my wits end and very emotional. Keeping from crying every day is hard enough without people like you.

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If I may make A suggestion, You might try conntacting The Ombudsman for the Gov. That Is A free way to find out what and .More importantly Who can help with this.

I will answer (I hope) the question about finding the brother. If the brother owns real estate or has a listed phone number it is an easy thing to find him. The county auditors office lists all real estate by the owner. Google ____county auditor and do a property search. Whitepages.com will give you a phone number and address if you give the name and city.

I don't know how many of you watch divorce court but I have seen case after case where she/he sold my stuff and I wanted it. It doesn't matter why the stuff was sold, the owner nearly ALWAYS gets compensation. Now cleaning up a nuisance like a junkyard (one way to get around the legalalities there is report the mess yourself, anonamously of course) and get rid of the stuff then. That would eliminate ALL claim hubby has on the property in question. If you are required to get rid of it the county has effectively gotten you an order of removal. This even works on junk, titled, cars.

Are you wanting to keep the house even with the flooding problems? If so the ONLY way to do it would be to have his name removed from the deed. Costly and long legal process. With the problems you are having with your lawyer and the server it's not going to happen anytime soon. The reason I suggested the bankruptcy was to get you out of the payments and to break the ties you have to your ex and the place. I will be blunt but honest here, if you rent, repair, improve, whatever he WILL have a claim to the increased value of the improvements and rental receipts. If you can sell and get some extra money he WILL have a claim to that money. You really can't afford to wait until the lawyer you HAVE paid gets going on this. I feel for you about not being able to afford to hire a lawyer to go after the lawyer you paid. I know I'm not living your situation but IMO, letting the bank take the property back sounds real good. You need to get that divorce and living off credit and stressing out over the mortgage like you have been doing will wear you out. If you get sick or injured you run the risk of losing it all anyway.

While working 2 jobs just to make the bills you are under enough strain without having to deal with all the other issues that are going on. There is little to no time to do what really needs to be done. I applaud you for all your efforts. Many people would have packed up and abandonded it all like your ex did. Go out and hug your animals and take a few minute breather. You need it and so do they. I appeal to the powers that be that everything will work out for you.

I think you have been pointed in the right direction by several people here and I hope you can move ahead in the ways they suggest.. .but...

How do you sell a house that you admit is 'a swamp' and it nearly constantly flooding? Did you know this when you bought it? Are you planning to make that clear to any potential buyers?

Yes with enough money the problem can probably be fixed. I just don't have the money to fix it. I would give full disclosure of this place. I hope the work I've done over the last few years will make it a little better.

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"Also, it floods badly (1-3 feet of water for months on end) and no one is going to want to live in that."

Can't help but wonder how you got suckered into buying that place if no one else would want to live there.

I think your best bet is to just walk away from the house -- give it back to the bank and chalk it up to experience. There is going to be a lot of this happening in the next several months due to high energy costs, bursting housing bubble and thousands of people upside down in their mortgages. You will just be one of thousands in the same boat. It's tough on your credit rating but might help you keep some of your sanity intact.

And talk of sueing your lawyer is laughable. Forget about that.

No one has ever built here before, I'm the first. There are several things that someone with some money could do. Either move the house to the back where it's never flooded. Or they could set up proper drainage so the water flows in the correct direction. It's fixable, I just can't fix it. I'm still going to hang in there as long as I can and I found a number of an old lady in El Paso that was like a mother to my ex. When he went to El Paso to visit family, he'd stay at her house and not his mother's. Going to send her a letter (a very nice one) letting her know the situation and that all I need him to do is sign some papers. Otherwise, he's going to have a foreclosure on his credit and all his things are getting sold (well after the divorce is ordered, which it will be eventually god willing). I'm going to let her know this includes family heirlooms and could she contact the brother. I hope hope hope this works.

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i wish i had good advice for you
seems to me you're coping as best as can be expected
continue holding your head up and taking the high ground
hope your worrying about your financial health doesn't effect your physical health
times will improve ; just take it one moment at a time
if it doesn't hurt- keep us informed
my brother is a lawyer...will ask him for any suggestions tomorrow
wish you the best -hope your spirits rise

What joe1968m said, plus, it says a lot about your character that you are working two jobs to keep things afloat. Many would just bail out. Best of luck to you, and I think you deserve a little luck to come your way...to supplement the effort you are expending.

Obviously I don't know how your house is laid out, or situated on the land. But a cheap "trash pump" and a ditch filled with gravel and located on the side of the house where the water comes down, with the pump pumping the water from the ditch to somewhere else, would maybe fix the problem for less than a thousand dollars. And Home Depot and other places offer no-interest for 6 months or low-interest credit cards that would let you handle the cost. I think this kind of drainage is called a "French drain" but will defer to those more knowledgeable on this subject.

Well, if you were me, or I was you, I'd start off by having a big ol' fund raiser. I'm thinkin' a deaf pig roast.

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This is the government the Founding Fathers warned us about.....

Argh!

Re: the post on the french drains. I have a sump pump (9,000 GPH can that be right?) with a float and 900 feet of drainage pipe running back to the creek. That just keeps the water from getting into the house. If the house stays in this location, it should be elevated. The lot needs some serious re-grading, the creek bed a few properties over and the property behind me needs to be cleared in my opinion at least 2 feet wide to facilitate water flow, channels need to be dug (french drain type would be fine) also back to the creek, the county needs to clear the blockage where the creek flows over to the river (or the home owner could pay for that as well since the county isn't doing it) and so on and so on. Anyway, as an update.

Finished up re-repairing some separations in the drainage pipe today and Qwispea and I kissed and made up via PM's. I got my panties in a wad and mis-understood the response.

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That sounds like a great idea! I hope it works out for you.

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Been there done that---here's the fix___

FIRST--- sell everything in a yard sale that you want out of there. It is most likely you live in a commuinity property state and you are legally able to sell his stuff is he has abandoned you and it. Put one half the profit away just in case he returns and demands it---his legal right. Then also sell every little thing you personally own, like knick knacks, some personal furniture etc and save that money!!!Open an account with your name only <savings> Mortgage people look for these accounts when evaluating you.

SECOND---do place any animals you can to other groups etc. I KNOW how you feel about them, but this is about your life and future. Ask them to just hold them while you get you life together, some will.

Third--sell any farm equipment you are not using and donot need.

Fourth- DO NOT REFIANCE your house--no second mortgages. First it probably won't pass the inspection, second, you do not need this place as a single woman with all the problems it has. Find a reputable real estate agent and market it "as is" there are lots of folks who want that and also that;'a all they can afford.

NEXT- VISIT YOUR LAWYER --make an appt to see her and have a long discussion with her . It is necessary to get a divorce right now? Really? You are spending good money after bad. The divorce is only going to spearate you egally from him: put an ad in the newspaper for how ever many days you eed to according to the law to exhonorate you from all dbts incurred by him form this date forward, and all past debts signed by him. Be sure to add he is missing and does not reside at your address any longer.


When you see your lawyer make sure she COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDS you mean business and you may want tolet her go. There may not be a reason for the divorce till later.....

Next, file a missing persons report with the sherrif. This way when you seel, you are the victime, not him. After all you did your best to find him, right?

Your new or old lawyer can halp you with the sale of the house as he is not present to sign off. Just remember if his name ison the deed, he is entitled to one half of the proceeds of the sale and so you must put it away in a separate account just of that. Do not ry to cheat him no matter how enticing it may be!! LOL

Get the house is the best order inside and out that you can and market it, even if you do it yourself.

Most importantly, TAKE YOURSELF to school on eal estate stuff, read, learn ans ask questions. call several agents and ask them all the same questions. Write all answers down.....with their name and company for referral later.

Good luck, you have a lot of work cut out for you.....Hugs,
Carly

wow, hang in there and take plenty of notes as suggested. in studying to be a private investigator i did some process serving and i gotta say this about the one your attorney picked (?) that's ridiculous! you either file an affidavit of proof of service, or an affidavit of non service if it could not be completed. it's not rocket science and only takes a few minutes, not weeks. also a 'service by publication' may be applicable. if a subject simply cannot be located a notice of service in the legal section of the newpaper may be used; it is usually for a summons and almost never for a subpoena though. there are a number of resources for locating someone that involves public records. does he work? the workman's comp board usually keeps up on employees' location. they're generally accessed on a county level. or perhaps the unemployment office if he might be using that. (sorry if i'm asking something you've already explained; there's a lot of text in the thread). j