He's gone

where I want to · #21 11/15/12, 09:41 PM

I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

punchiepal · #22 11/15/12, 09:55 PM

I am sooo sorry.

secretcreek · #23 11/15/12, 09:57 PM

Been there with beloved goat pals too. I totally get it.

dunroven · #24 11/15/12, 10:07 PM

Thanks everyone for all your thoughts and your sharing this grief with me. You are all great goat friends and I appreciate it very much.

Gena, if I didn't believe the Lord had something else in mind, I couldn't go on with this, so I am trying hard to hold onto that thought. Dr. Charles Stanley once said, when God takes something out of your hand, it is to give you something else. It could be better, it could be bigger, or it could be less, but it is definitely what He wants you to have, and it is more than you can imagine.

I am so hoping that is true, cause Bonsai was a lot. I have had 3 great bucks in my program. Curly Joe (my first Boer buck. Thank you Sherry), William (my first BIG buck), and Bonsai (my first registered goat). I remember something about each of them, and miss them all. William is still alive, but unfortunately we had to sell him as he was not registered and we had kept so many from him, that he could not have bred for another year with our herd. Still wish I had him back. He went to the sale barn, and when he came into the ring, everyone shouted "Toro! Toro!" LOL He was beautiful!

Curly Joe was sweet and comical and was always getting into trouble, like the time he decided to eat lots of corn. I was in my office and heard his very faint baaaaa. I went to find him, and he had, instead of up ending the can of corn, had up ended himself and had his head buried in the corn and his back legs were sticking out of the can and he was screaming and sucking down corn all at once. I was fortunate to have caught him that time!. I got Curly Joe from "Sherry in Iowa." I went out one morning to the pen and Curly was laying there asleep, like normal, and I tried to wake him up, but he wouldn't wake up. Completely unknown as to why he died, but we suspect maybe he had pneumonia? We were way too green at that point to know.

And now my dear, sweet Bonsai. So big and tough. Everyone that came on the place wanted to see that huge goat! LOL So small and frail with his head on my knee, and his big sad eyes looking up at me, asking me to make it better. Its better now.

andabigmac · #25 11/15/12, 10:55 PM

I am so sorry about your boy. I had to go back and read what was going on. You are truly a warrior for fighting for him like that. Be at peace, Bonsai. You too, Valorie. You're a good goat mom.

noeskimo · #26 11/16/12, 01:13 AM

I am so sorry he /you lost this fight.

GoldenWood Farm · #27 11/16/12, 02:05 AM

Oh no...no.....I am so sorry you lost him

. God brought home a great fellow today and I am sure he will be missed. I am so glad you where with him though, you fought so hard for him and I am glad you where able to have those last moments with him.

((((((hugs))))))))

Justine

Lizza · #28 11/16/12, 02:51 AM

I so very very sorry for your loss!

momagoat61 · #29 11/16/12, 04:15 AM

Valorie I'm so very sorry, you tried so hard with Bonsai and it just wasn't meant to be. RIP Bonsai

Sherry in Iowa · #30 11/16/12, 04:54 AM

I'm sure sorry about Bonsai. One thing I believe, he was ready to go. He's probably up there sportin' around with Curly Joe. They'll all be there waiting for ya.

Were you shooting for breeding show goats or meat goats? Maybe the hay situation is better in northwest Iowa, but here, if you could get a buck and make meat kids for a couple of years..it might get you back on your feet. Just a thought, seems like there is forever a market for them.

I wish you and your hubby well. Don't let this take your dream..you may just have to "tweak" your dream a bit.

aart · #31 11/16/12, 05:04 AM

Condolences.

mahnah · #32 11/16/12, 05:13 AM

I am so sorry my heart hurts for you.

Jyllie63 · #33 11/16/12, 05:23 AM

I'm so sorry Valorie

Shayanna · #34 11/16/12, 08:18 AM

I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this heartbreak.

dunroven · #35 11/16/12, 08:25 AM

Bonsai came from great blood lines and would have improved my herd tremendously, adding size and bulk to my goats, plus name recognition. RRD Gauge 529 was in his line of progeny and that goat went for $30,000, highest goat ever sold I believe, and he had a son (Bonsai's sire) that went for $7,000, and a cousin to Bonsai went for $14,000. I was aiming for the market where this would have been possible.

However, my husband will have made the decision for me. Since Bonsai is gone, he's calling the goats a failure and has decided they are not worth the work. We'll keep the does until they die off, and then probably buy some brush goats, just to keep the land cleared off, but there will be no more "herd" for us.

Ross is 75 and he's tired in many ways. I can't blame him, but I'm only 53, and I want these things for me. However, I have to think of my husband first and then if something happens to him, at some point I may decide to restart, but its doubtful. Ross family lives well into their 90s and 100s, so I doubt, if I make into my 70s, that I'll be ready or able to start another herd.

That's why I say that dream is gone. I'm not dreaming anymore. None of my dreams have ever come true and I'm so tired of hurting all the time. God is allowing me to have what I have because its what I need. I'll have to get my mind settled on it and leave it at that.

I appreciate everyone's condolences. Bonsai was very special.

CJBegins · #36 11/16/12, 09:26 AM

Dunroven, I am so sorry for your loss but....you can't stop dreaming and planning! That is just wrong. Maybe a different animal. I also have found goats to be more intensive than my cows, horses or hogs. There is a huge learning curve with goats. I was raised taking care of cows, horses and hogs. I started reading about goats here and tried to glean as much information as possible so that I could be prepared but there is also a huge "hands on" learning curve.

I have 4 adult goats, 2 have no health issues and the other 2 keep me hopping! The very dairy breeds are a challenge.

Please don't give up.....!

Carla

CaliannG · #37 11/16/12, 09:44 AM

Valerie, do you and your husband ever travel for things like conventions and such? Are you ever down in this neck of the woods? I'm thinking that I have an acquaintance with a nice herd of tested Boers, most of them with ennobled ancestors only 2 or 3 generations back.

Nothing is a "failure" that gives you peace and pleasure. And I could go on and on about "failures" that turned into great successes because a person kept trying.

Also, you husband needs to look to the Bible. How many things has he done in life, even though there was no true monetary reward, because those things brought him peace, or because in the doing, they brought him closer to God? If he has engaged, or still engages, in things that cost money, because to him they are worth it as they bring him spiritual growth and peace, I don't see how he can, in conscious, ethically and morally, say that you cannot have something that brings you the same, because it is a "failure" monetarily.

In both the Hebrew and Greek Scriptures (Old and New Testament), husbands are told to love their wives and do well by their wives. How can he say that he is loving you and doing well by you if he takes away from you something that brings you such hope and joy simply because he deems it a failure?

God gave us free will. His most precious gift to us; self-determination. So while God may work throughout the world and show His mercy, it does not mean that *everything* is from Him. Sometimes things happen simply because of the choices people make, through their free will.

Maybe it is God's Will that you do not have goats, but something niggles at me and says God is quite content with you having and breeding goats, and finding joy with them, and seeing a bit of Him in them, as they are His creations.

Perhaps ya'll should pray about this together.

Dreamgoat Annie · #38 11/16/12, 09:51 AM

I'm so sorry. I really thought he would make it. You tried so hard and did your best. I'm really hurting for you and Shayanna today. {{{hugs}}}

Sue

Backfourty,MI. · #39 11/16/12, 11:47 AM

I am so very sorry for your loss!! My heart is breaking with yours! We all know you & Bonsai gave it everything you both had.

Minelson · #40 11/16/12, 03:18 PM

Just reading this. I don't even have words. I am so sad. There is so much pain on this forum it's really hard to take. The dog attack, the fire, Fern, Gretta and now Bonsai is gone. I will always remember that picture you posted of his sweet face. And the love you had for each other. You fought so hard for him and he knows it. (((hugs))) You are such a good goat mama.