just got a dandy phone call
 

First the person blocked their number which makes me irritated and she sounded drunk or something.

She wanted to buy colostrum or a bred doe (I have neither to sell). Said she has a sheep thats due January or February and has no udder (oops I mean she "has no bags yet") so she knows there is no colostrum. I told her my dairy goats don't even start to udder up until 6 weeks or so before. Then she said "well my llamas tits are big and shes not due till May". Oh really!? Then she insisted again that the sheep had no bags and really wanted to buy a bred doe so she could have colostrum. I told her again that IF i had a doe for sale she would start at $300 and up but don't have any to sell. She said thanks anyway and hung up.

Some people sure are "special"!

lmfao WOW! Soooo I should worry about my doe, whom is suppose to give birth in December because she isn't bagging up yet? LMFAO!!! Our cows don't bag up until they are a couple weeks to a month from giving birth.....some people! Humans don't even start producing milk until a month or so before going into labor! LOL!

*Sigh* and thus the numbers of willfully ignorant animal owners are proven to be steady within our population.

Really, any amount of research would tell her that her sheep are normal. Just another example of a person who does zero research on their animals before getting them.

I dunno if I wouldn't have snorted in laughter when she called 'em tits. Dunno if that's the inner 5th grader humor coming out, or amusement at such ignorance of proper anatomy terms.

Sheep, just like goats, vary incredibly widely in udder development pre-parturition. I've had some that bag up a couple months in advance and others that don't start until within a few hours of birth. Just like some seem like they will be in labor anytime now, and birth is two weeks away, while another acts totally normal, then walks away from the manger and pushes out triplets.

Which all of us know...but really, it amazes me how little some people who are raising livestock know. Some of it is because there isn't that much good information readily available. But this is not hard to find information on.

Refering to it as "bags" shows that she doesn't know enough either, although here maybe I am just being picky? I prefer udder, but so many use "bag" that I have been almost forced to adopt it...I have never once in my life heard it being used in plural to refer to both halves of the udder.

I guess we can be glad that she knew that the lambs needed colostrum. I've never heard of someone desperate enough to buy a bred doe for that colostrum, however.

hey, atleast she was trying to take care of her animal! Even if it was solely because of a lack of understanding them to begin with.

Good grief! Stupidity must be contagious over long distances because I had a WHOPPER of an awkward conversation with the person from our insurance that came out to take pictures of the outside.

He told me he has goats too. Okay, cool all the goat people I have met are friendly and it's nice to have someone local in case of a goat emergency. I mentioned that my goats were probably yelling at him because they're in heat. So he tells me he has a buck and would like a doe out of him if I was interested. And that he would really like one out of the colorful one (Lily the 3 month old) Here is where I assumed his buck was a Nigerian or pygmy...so since I have been passively looking for a buck to use in the future I ask if his buck has been tested for CAE.

Here comes the triple stupid: No, he's a Boer cross

Me thinking :umno: "Go away now you numpty":ogre:

So he had no idea what CAE even was and he wanted to breed a giant Boer to my tiny 3 month old Nigerian. :shocked::run:

I'm pleased to report that I kept my composure and didn't disintegrate him with laser beams on the spot. I simply told him I would rather breed them to another dwarf goat.

We often hear the term "bagged up" to refer to the udder being full, but I have never heard anyone refer to the actual udder as "bags". *lol*

Yeah it was interesting. I'm betting she goes to the local goat n sheep auction thats monthly. Lots of real losers there that have no clue how to care for animals.

Breeding a boer billy to that lil spotted nanny..heck ya go for it! Lol. :umno: i cringe even writing nanny n billy lol.

Dona, PLEASE tell that to my DH! He keeps calling them "tits" because he thinks that "teats" is an attempt at "cleaning up the term" for prudish goat folks! I *have* attempted to convince him that "teats" came first, and used to refer even to human "teats", until it got cockneyed in the 17th century, and human "teats" became "tits" among the lower classes.

Not sure if he believed me, and I got tired of arguing about it.

*rofl* When people mention animals' tits, I picture them with voluptuous breasts hanging out of their trashy low-slung tops. *lol*

And out on the streets hawking their wares for a few dollars.
"Hey honey, lookin for a good time? I just jumped fence cause my owners arent home & need to bring in some money for their goat habit."

I'm ROFL about this!! I know a local goat guy who insisted on saying "breast bags" & went on & on about "tit size /length" ..... I hate to admit it publicly, bit I can be far more juvenile than is proper for my age..... The entire conversation I was literally biting the inside of my cheek to keep my composure...... Midway through the chat the cheek biting stopped working, I snorted/snickered, but did have the decency to try and cover it with a loud coughing fit...

What's worse, is this man is actually an educated man, retired military and to hear him say "Check out the breast bags on this nanny, looks like she'll have plenty of milk, plus she is showing a 3rd tit back there" was just way too much :ashamed: ..... He's a nice guy, we chat often & in our conversations I think I've found an excuse to say "udder & teats" thousands of times hoping he picks up on it.....

"prudish goat folks"?! He can't mean the folks here? We participate in, and discuss "Goat Rape". We all stare at breeding goat, we even post pics of them. We spend weeks of time staring at goat rear ends, watching for puffy or swollen vulvas. Most of us know how to "go in" to re-position kids, (even if we never have.) I gotta say, I don't think that last one is very "prudish"! We have to endure buck in rut behavior. I have seen threads about buck scrotum's here, although I do not remember if they were called something else so the prudish wouldn't be offended ;) !

I could go on...

What a great way to start my day! This thread is priceless.

OK. Gotta tell you this story.

My younger son was on the Lincoln-Douglas debate team in high school. They went to the state level, and I was able to be in the audience for a debate against a couple of girls about the importance of saving wild tigers.

The girls brought up how tiger penis :teehee: is used for an aphrodisiac and makes the tigers a target for poachers.

OH MY GOSH.:eek:

Can you imagine how many times my son and his male partner said, "TIGER PENIS?" :umno:

The girls gave up and surrendered defeat before the end of the round.:nanner:

Thanks for the funny additions!

Breast bags...OMG.

I myself participated in 2 goat rapes this year, my first ever. It just feels so wrong. But for the better of the breed, we do as we must. :teehee:

I totally burst out laughing thinking of all the references to teats in the Bible being replaced with tits. http://img.diaperswappers.com/images/smilie/rofl4.gif

Well, now ya'll know that edgefarmer, although a very intelligent man, can be dumb on some things.

But yes, he actually *told me* that he was not going to change the proper terms just because "your goat lady friends think "tits" is too graphic".

It was everything I could do not to laugh in his face, and chew on the inside of my cheeks, attempting to keep a straight face.....

If I stub my toe, I will cuss a streak so blue that mechanics in the vicinity will say, "Hey, hey, hey! You wanna watch your language? There are welders around here!"

And he thinks I will use an improper term to be *prudish*? Or that other goat ladies, who habitually stick their hands up goat vaginas during kidding season, inspect penis tips for infections, etc., are being *prudish*?

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Now, what an interesting thread to happen upon!

I would almost feel sorry for a newbie to the forum if it wasn't so darn funny....

My son's die every time I say the work sperm....it is so funny to watch their faces. Oh, they hate the word vulva also, but coochie and whoo ha are both okay.

Should have seen their face when I was explaining what a pizzle was........priceless!

Well ok then, I'll quit calling them 'tits'. :grumble: Which term, btw, I learned from my Grandpa, Dad and various uncles. And yes, they WERE referring to cows. :p

My other half calls them tits too. I just ignore it, figure there is no changing it lol

Yall probably didn't think any men would read this thread. :nono:

LOL!!

We goat ladies can be called many things, but prudish isn't one of them....

My best "goaty" conversation was with my father in law.... My husband is staying with his dad 5 hours away working & trying to get a house set up so we can move, so I only see him every 10 days....

During a goat rape fiasco, my father in law calls, but I can't answer, I've got my hands full.... Finish up & just as I'm putting the buck up he calls again, so I answer:

"Hi, hold on one sec..." Then to my buck I say, "Go on you filthy boy, you did good" as I put him back up.... Then I resume the conversation..... There is an odd pause & my father in law ask:

"If I may ask, just what are you doing right now?"

Me (a lil breathless): "Oh, trying to clean semen off my leg before it dribbles down the top of my boot, we had lil mis-fire"

FIL didn't say a word... I had to prompt him to speak, twice.... Then it dawned on me how it all came out so I had to specify GOAT semen & explain the whole goat rape ordeal...

Still not sure what disturbed him more.... The confusion at the begining of the conversation, or me giving details on goat rape & elaborating on how I got goat semen on my leg :p

Certainly no prudish goat lady at this house :D I think it makes hubby uncomfortable during kidding season when I'm making 10 trips a day to stare at vulvas...lol

Saw this comic this morning and HAD to share it with this thread! :D

http://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u...me819/tits.png

Yep, we knew men would read this thread. Heck, my DH probably already read it.

What this shows is that, so far, it seems that men prefer to use the low-class, cockneyed term to refer to the teats of an animal, and women prefer to use the scientific term.

Hmmm, I wonder if that was all started by some boys sent out to the barn in the 1700's to milk the family cow, and snickering over "tits"? That would be about right.

Of course, I have heard men use...ummm...more slang terms for vulvas/vaginas, and penises/pizzles on livestock, instead of the old, long-term, been-around-for-hundreds-of-years, PROPER terms for those bits of anatomy.

Yeah, I think snickering boys are involved...or men just liking to use the naughty slang terms for *something* that they think they can get away with.

Hmmm. :( Well, I'm a lady no matter where I happen to be. Proper Scientific terms are appropriate. Vulgarity is never appropriate. HooHaa and such would be a euphemism used to soften a scientific term.

If some one is using a vulgar term because they know it causes someone to feel emotionally uncomfortable, or embarrassed, that person is ungracious or maybe just a little mean. It would be time to grow up and be considerate of those around you.

This is, of course, not intended for anyone here. I don't think I've seen vulgarity used here. Well maybe a little bit :teehee:, but never in a hurtful way.

[QUOTE=Squeaky McMurdo;6229032] "Go away now you numpty":ogre:QUOTE]

Just read the whole thing and want to thank you all for the smile on my face and I think from now on my new favorite word is NUMPTY

Nancy

wait. i work in the medical field and i still lilke some of the other terms. am i still allowed to use the term hoohah on this forum?

I believe that is one of the preferred, or at least very popular, terms.

Please feel free! Although spell-check doesn't seem to like it. :)

phew. wasn't big on changing my ways. fortunately my phone doesn't have spell check. and unfortunately today i finally realized i have been spelling "utter" wrong all along.
and i rly do think it is our inner 5th grader that makes it so stinkin funny. "tits". lol

Dd19 tells me that I am four years old - so I guess in my case it is the inner kindergartener.... Hooray! I am so old I will never have to grow up! :happy2:

All this reminds me of my friend asking the vet how long to keep a freshly castrated buckling away from the does. "45 days". What?!?! Oh man, I should have done this long ago! "OK, 45 days or until he.... ummmm..... well..... until he..... you know how bucks..... ummmmmm.... Until he........ Oh wait! I keep forgetting I don't have to watch my language so much around you ladies! Until an ejaculation!" ROFL!!!!