It's not goats but you folk understand...

BoldViolet · #21 05/18/12, 10:41 PM

Oh, how awful.

:: hugs ::

Dusky Beauty · #22 05/18/12, 11:17 PM

Pony, I know how you feel.
last summer I fostered about 20 great pyreneese mixed puppies out on our little farm to relieve the private rescues a bit and handled all the applications and rehoming myself.
I sent out most of them to pet homes, but several went out as future LGDs to experienced owners.
One pup really captured my heart-- he was the most "pyr type" puppy we had pass through and I loved him so.... we ended up keeping him. I put hours into training him every day and he was SUCH a good dog. No vices at all... then one morning I went to let my ducks out and found him carrying a little drake around in his mouth. His mama's bird dog blood got the best of him.

I was desperate to train him out of it. I vowed never to leave him unattended... I put pennies in a can and shook it when he went near the birds... I tried everything except tying a dead bird on him.
I tried as hard as humanly possible to control that dog, but I couldn't completely control my kids. Every day he got out of an open door or a window he began systematically helping himself to a duck if he could catch it, or a turkey poult. I checked in with the farm homes I'd placed dogs in, and they didn't have problems... it's like for all my efforts, I got the only poultry killer in the bunch >_<

I lost an estimated 230$ in poultry to this ONE dog in a month. I agonized over it, but I was able to convince my husband to let me try to find him a new home. (He got ahold of two more turkeys.)
On his final 24 hour stay of execution I found a private rescue to take him (the one I worked with fostering was full)

I really struggled with the guilt for weeks because I feel like being master to a dog is a sacred trust, and I blew it. I worried about how scared he was, and if he felt like I abandoned him, but I knew I had done the right thing. His next stop was a grave under the oleanders, and I had to protect the other creatures I also had a stewardship to. (It all worked out for him in the end though.. the rescue was good about updating me when his case closed.)

So here is a cyber-pat on the shoulder to you... there's nothing to be ashamed of in the life and love you gave him for a season.

GoldenWood Farm · #23 05/19/12, 01:07 AM

(((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) My heart aches for you Pony

.

Justine

Tabgirl · #24 05/19/12, 01:17 AM

So sorry!! What a difficult double loss. We had an unpredictable boxer that we finally had to put down last summer when she nipped a child in the face while at the river. That baby hadn't done a thing and we wouldn't risk anyone's safety again. You did the right thing. Hugs and prayers!!

Donna1982 · #25 05/19/12, 01:41 AM

I am so sorry pony. I have to say people can be downright mean with their words. The last thing you need right now is someone telling you where they think you went wrong. We all love you and support you.

CarolT · #26 05/19/12, 07:27 AM

Look at it not as a lecture, but as a case of _I_ feel your pain so much _I_ can't trust my dogs for fear it'll happen here. Seriously. Just because I don't trust some animal in some way doesn't mean I think someone else is wrong because they don't do as I do.

My heart aches for you. BTDT and it still doesn't make it feel better knowing you did the right thing, not now, anyway. Later, you'll realize he lived love and left in love and that's the best anyone can hope to do.

Minelson · #27 05/19/12, 07:44 AM

OH Pony how AWFUL !

I can't imagine coming home to that and then having to make such a decision. I am so sorry. I hope you are feeling a bit better today but really it will take some time. I feel very sad for you. (((hugs)))

Cliff · #28 05/19/12, 07:52 AM

Sorry pony

I gave a bulldog cross a chance here last year. He came to me as a 4 week old pup and was so cute. I loved that dog, easiest dog I've ever worked with. One night in december after the goats had started kidding he took all the kids from their moms, brought them up to the house and piled them up in the yard! It was cold outside and we lost 4 in all that night - one died later I think because of throat damage from being dragged around by him.. she wasn't swallowing right and got pneumonia. I just happened to hear one screaming as he went past the window with it. I went out and gave the live ones back to the moms and chastised him but he was just frantic to get back to the barn to get them again. It was like something in him just snapped. He would not listen to me and would not stay tied. When I thought back on it I realized he had gotten very possessive with all the babies in the previous few days - like they were his babies. He had been corrected for it but apparently to no avail. No predator problems with the goats at this place btw in the past or since.

He was so frantic he was close to biting me a couple times that night. I just could not keep a dog that was killing my stock, intentionally or not, and that I felt had become dangerous to me. He died that same night. I just couldn't figure out any way around it. I really miss that meathead dog

Pony · #29 05/19/12, 08:15 AM

You folks are so wonderful... Thank you for your kindness. It's such an agony to love a dog and work with him and then have to do the right thing even though it goes against every instinct of every cell of your dog-lovin' body...

Weird dreams all night long, but I know it's going to take some time.

Is it too early for another glass of wine?

noeskimo · #30 05/19/12, 08:35 AM

So sorry ,Pony. I had an Akbash/Pyr rescue kill my Westie housedog ,on Christmas Eve.Every time I think about it, I become angry, at myself and it hurts all over again, even though I couldn't have known.Like yours, they were trustworthy together, in my presence,but apparently not on their own.

Minelson · #31 05/19/12, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pony

You folks are so wonderful... Thank you for your kindness. It's such an agony to love a dog and work with him and then have to do the right thing even though it goes against every instinct of every cell of your dog-lovin' body...

Weird dreams all night long, but I know it's going to take some time.

Is it too early for another glass of wine?

I have found that drinking makes it worse

sedation in pill form works better

Call your doc for a short term script of Ativan or Xanax.

PNP Katahdins · #32 05/19/12, 08:46 AM

Aw, Pony, I'm so sorry you are going through this loss. It happened to us too. One of our LGDs that we raised from 8 weeks old started seeing the cats as predators. She maimed and killed several before we figured out what was getting them. Then I found the other LGD standing over poor Elsie's body. One went back to the breeder and was eventually rehomed to a farm without cats and the other one went back to the former owner. Wish I'd never seen either of them.

Hugs from Peg and Paul

Pony · #33 05/19/12, 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Minelson

I have found that drinking makes it worse

sedation in pill form works better

Call your doc for a short term script of Ativan or Xanax.

Local docs who will take on pain patients are pretty much non-existent in these parts, so the hope of a script for something as innocuous as klonopin is pretty bleak.

I'll go out and wish Em a happy day, then I think I'll hit the garden with a vengeance...

RedSonja · #34 05/19/12, 09:20 AM

Oh Pony, I am so sorry. I cannot imagine coming home to that, then having to put down a beloved dog as well. You absolutely did the right thing, difficult as it was. Big *hugs* as wanted needed. If there's anything at all I can do for y'all just ask.

-Sonja

Pony · #35 05/19/12, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedSonja

Oh Pony, I am so sorry. I cannot imagine coming home to that, then having to put down a beloved dog as well. You absolutely did the right thing, difficult as it was. Big *hugs* as wanted needed. If there's anything at all I can do for y'all just ask.

-Sonja

Hm. You could post pictures from Paris...

Thanks, Sonja.

RedSonja · #36 05/19/12, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pony

Hm. You could post pictures from Paris...

Thanks, Sonja.

The only pictures I have of Paris are out the airplane window.

But I am working on posting more pictures of Monte Carlo and Nice on Facebook. Didn't have much time for sight-seeing or picture taking, unfortunately.

If I learned anything in our whirlwind trip to France, it was that it is never too early for a glass of wine. Take care of yourself sweetie.

-Sonja

Dreamgoat Annie · #37 05/19/12, 10:50 AM

Oh Pony, I'm so sorry. {{{hugs}}}

Sue

mammabooh · #38 05/19/12, 11:44 AM

Oh, you poor thing! I can't imagine what you're going through. How is your hubby taking it?

Pony · #39 05/19/12, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mammabooh

Oh, you poor thing! I can't imagine what you're going through. How is your hubby taking it?

Nick is up and down. He's the one who took care of Bud D. I had planned to take the dog out to the overgrown woods at the edge of our acreage and just leave him there after I shot him, but Nick dug him a grave and put him down while I was at work.

We talk about them a lot. The awful picture of what happened pops into one of our heads, and we try to come up with a good memory to push out the bad scene...

He's not crying anymore. I'm still at the point where I can start weeping without notice, but I didn't really start to deal with it until yesterday.

Sonja, thanks for the go-ahead on the vino. The sun is finally over the yardarm here, so bottoms up!

dlskidmore · #40 05/19/12, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pony

It hurts that someone felt the need to lecture that I should have known not to trust Bud

I'm sorry. I didn't meant to lecture.