If you are in a 4H of FFA show than who should be embarassed is your leader, not you. But all shows have entries with the rules...for us it's simple because ADGA rules prevail, so we get our info from them. No pens here either, although you send in how many pens you are going to need, it's only for numbers, they count them to make sure there are enough pen space, but no reservations ever, not in 20 years

If your part of the club who puts the show on and come help set up, than yep you can reserve your pen
Shaving is handled by the fitting rules of the show, always ask about them if it is not written, you don't want to show up with unfitted goats to a fitted show, because they would have to be spectacular for a judge to use them in the line up!
No judge or show secretary anywhere can tell you "you have to remove wattles", unless you are talking about a purebred registery that does not allow wattles for registration or for showing....like ADGA with dairy goats...you can have horns and register your goats with horns, but you can not show them. A club can not make up rules that they are going to have a show with horns, it's ADGA rules or the sanction is lost, and nobody will come to your show without sanction.
Sorry you had a bad time, you need to find a local mentor to help you with the maze of rules for showing your goat you have! Vicki