Question for the ladies

[Paula]

Do you feel safe when you are alone in a very secluded area?
I was raking hay while dh baled today, and the baler broke. We still have lots of hay to cut, and I could have stayed in the field and mowed while he took the baler home to fix. He wouldn't have been back with it today, had to fix it quick and study for his sermon tonight. The place we are cutting right now is in the middle of several hundred acres, not close to our home. It would have really helped if I had stayed and mowed, but I just didn't feel safe out there by myself. It didn't help that we drive by a pay to fish place on our way into this property, and I was thinking that whoever was there might notice if dh left and I didn't. DH didn't ask me to stay there, I just feel frustrated that I could have finished mowing that property today.
How do others handle this? Would you/do you carry a gun when you are in a situation like this? I always carry my cell phone, but if something happened it would take a while for anyone I called to get to me. Am I just being paranoid? I wouldn't have thought twice about it when I was younger, guess now I'm just more aware of all the meanness that goes on.

[hollym]

I don't usually feel afraid anywhere, but I think that you have to work with your own comfort level, not mine.

I always felt safer alone out in the country, than in a city. Now that may or not be correct, it's just how I always felt. Spent a lot of time alone on our Montana place and our closest neighbor was three miles away. Without knowing what your area is like, its difficult for me to judge how safe it actually is!

Anyway, that hay will still be there tommorrow! If you had a wierd feeling about staying, then you made the right choice. You might have had an accident if your mind was on your safety, making you jumpy and not focusing on the task at hand.

hollym

[Snowdancer]

When I lived in WI, I never felt nervous or in any danger even when I was roaming around in the middle of the night during a blizzard between the barn & house since the goats were giving birth. I never locked my doors, even though I slept upstairs and was alone for months at a time while hubby worked in another state.

In KY, I never spent a night or time away from the house when I didn't feel a weird 'threat' to my safety. I carried a gun when I was outside and I slept with a gun under the pillow every night. It probably didn't help that as soon as we moved there a neighbor wanted to buy our land and when we refused he made threats that he'd get it one way or another! :waa:

Odd, now I'm in the city limits of Memphis and I feel safer than I did on that farm in KY. My biggest fear in the city is free roaming dogs!

I don't think is is age as much as a feeling you just get that you may be vulnerable and unable to protect yourself in some places. Listen to that voice, my mother always told me-so far she's been right!

[NWSneaky]

In this world "we" as humans have created, no female nor child is safe --- and most men. It is a sick world folks.

[backwoods]

I have always felt "safer" in the country in rural and even remote settings, than in the city. Before dh retired, I spent many nights home alone with kids. It never really bothered me. I have always had a gun, however.
Everyone has a different "comfort" level for sure. My dil is scared to be home alone w/kids even in daytime, keeps all the curtains drawn and doors locked, and won't open the door until she's sneaked a peak out a window to see who it is. She's in a good neighborhood at the dead end of a county road with two nice neighbors, but she's still scared to death. I just don't understand it, I've never been that way even though I was broken in on when I was young and single living in an apt. in the city. (What that guy didn't count on was my LARGE German Shepherd who LOVED me, and wanted him for supper)
I can only imagine that is a horrible feeling to be that scared. My mom was kind of like that.
I do know that if it was unusual for you to feel that way, then you should "listen" and obey.
My dh always says "You should listen to those little hairs standing up on the back of your neck! They may very well save your life someday."
Nature has instilled in us the same fight/flight impulses as animals have to enable us to survive. THAT is what you were probably feeling. Perhaps you two were being watched, and didn't even know it. Who knows. If I were going to be out like that alone, I'd take along protection if I felt at all uncomfortable about it.
Jamie

[momlaffsalot]

I would have felt too vulnerable being secluded like that. I have had bad experiences that have made me extremely cautious. I fdo eel very safe at home, but that's parly because of my dogs. Sometimes I get the urge to go for a solitary walk in the woods and then get so frustrated that it's just not really safe to do so. Once I was walking my dog down a country road and a car with three guys in it went past me, then they pulled over and sat for a while. I was so mad that I had to feel threatened that way! They ended up getting out of the car and walking around a bit, but eventually got back in and left. Maybe my dog gave them second thoughts, maybe they were just goofing around..who knows. I have been thinking about getting a small gun just so I can feel a bit more free to wander as I so love to do. It's just a fact that we are vulnerable if we are alone in a secluded area. Not much we could do if a man decided he wanted to hurt us.

[MaineFarmMom]

I'm here alone during the day most of the time. I don't mind. You know that gut feeling that tells you to be more careful occasionally? On those days I keep a hand gun on me. I've never had any reason to use it. That's probably partly because I'll move my shirt tail out of the way so that the stranger I'm talking too sees that I'm armed.

[crystalniche]

Always listen to those little nudges we all get from time to time. I've heard that this is how your gaurdian angel talks to you and you'd best listen! We all have a sense of things around us. Your subconscious must have picked up on something being not right in some way. When this happens I always listen and go along with it, no matter how I feel about it otherwise. One night DH decided to take DS and I to one of our favorite places in the world---the stock car races. We even had a favorite place to sit too. We drove for an hour to get there. The whole time I had this feeling of "doom" getting stronger and stronger the closer we got. Finally we were in the parking lot and
I started crying. Ended up with them mad at me and us going back home. The next morning we read in the paper how a stock car came airborn up off the track and plowed thru the bleachers seriously injuring lots of people. Guess where in the bleachers the worst happened? Right where we always sat! We haven't been back since. You can feel safe or threatened anywhere, listen to yourself. It pays off to be cautious.

[JoyKelley]

Hey, ya'll ,

From one woman to another , for those of you that are not familiar with fire arms, if you decide to get one, please learn how to use it and if you draw it, fire it immediatley. Don't threaten with it , show it in hopes to intimidate , or otherwise believe the gun is going to scare some man off. You must be prepared to fire quickly and accurately., Nearly any man can overpower and disarm a woman.

[RedneckWoman]

From one woman to another , for those of you that are not familiar with fire arms, if you decide to get one, please learn how to use it and if you draw it, fire it immediatley. Don't threaten with it , show it in hopes to intimidate , or otherwise believe the gun is going to scare some man off. You must be prepared to fire quickly and accurately.

Very good advice there. I totally agree.

Nearly any man can overpower and disarm a woman.

I think that pretty much depends on the woman. :haha:

I am not too much afraid of anything. I am kind of cautious though. Not because I am a female but because I live in area poluted with meth labs. I don't let that stop me from doing what I need to do though. I do pack about 98% of the time but mostly for snake and varmint control. I trained in martial arts for more than ten years, I have been shooting since I was about seven years old, so I am pretty sure I could take care of myself. People don't worry me much.

[Little Quacker in OR]

I think that in the world we know today there is no such thing as "safe". I don't mean accidents like autos and something falling on you from the sky. LOL... Think about it, us rural folks or those who live out surrounded by wilderness used to just think of taking a pistol along mainly to make a lot of noise with if we fell down and hurt something so a rescue party could find us. I always walk with my dogs so didn't even get concerned about the occasional nosy cougar or bear. We wouldn't really see them any way if they did take a "looksee" at us out of curiosity.

These days you can't be that blase', not in the current state of things. So, I still carry my little pistol in a neatly designed fanny pack(with a "quick open feature) that the SEALS use, but now I put serious loads in the bullets and carry extra ammo. for more noise and stopping power. I think it's just common sense. Wildlife are different than they used to be and there are more "nuts" out there of our own species.

LQ

[BCR]

There's a great book every woman should read called "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker. It reinforces listening to those intangible feelings.

When I moved out here I was scared of the dark. My SO agreed to all the lights I wanted. Now we have lots of outdoor light options, but none that are on regularly, I just turn them on as a I need them to be. Works great. especially as it is not unusual for me to be home alone for 4-5 days at a time.

It helped me to walk outside in the dark over and over again until I lnew the terrain blindfolded. I don't carry concealed, but if someone is wandering around the neighborhood, I call all the neighbors and our informal neighborhood watch is alerted. Lots of extra activity and that is that. And two good dogs help too.

[Ravenlost]

Originally Posted by KY Guest

When I lived in WI, I never felt nervous or in any danger even when I was roaming around in the middle of the night during a blizzard between the barn & house since the goats were giving birth. I never locked my doors, even though I slept upstairs and was alone for months at a time while hubby worked in another state.

In KY, I never spent a night or time away from the house when I didn't feel a weird 'threat' to my safety. I carried a gun when I was outside and I slept with a gun under the pillow every night. It probably didn't help that as soon as we moved there a neighbor wanted to buy our land and when we refused he made threats that he'd get it one way or another! :waa:

Odd, now I'm in the city limits of Memphis and I feel safer than I did on that farm in KY. My biggest fear in the city is free roaming dogs!

I don't think is is age as much as a feeling you just get that you may be vulnerable and unable to protect yourself in some places. Listen to that voice, my mother always told me-so far she's been right!

I just have to comment. I am floored that you feel safe in Memphis! We were shocked at the high crime rate in Memphis when we moved from Dallas! Not to scare you, but you do know that Memphis has the highest crime rate in the country, don't you? My son was mugged in downtown Memphis and feels very fortunate that he wasn't hurt physically. VERY SCARY PLACE MEMPHIS. Please be careful.

[Sparticle]

I don't usually feel afraid. But sometimes that feeling comes over me and I feel like a sitting duck. My cell phone won't work in the back and if something happened, I have to hope my stupid dogs would figure out how to get help. I do always try to take at least one dog back there with me unless I'm mowing. I'm almost always OK at night too. But sometimes you just get that feeling of fear that comes over you when you are all alone. I just lock the doors and ignore it. I'm not going to get all worked up. I know that the city is more dangerous. But, with my circumstances I do have to be cautious. I live on a dirt road that is frequented by truck drivers because it's some sort of sort cut to the oil fields. They see me out there alone mowing or working in the yard. So, I have locks on the front and back gates and the doors are always locked. The dogs may not be the smartest dogs in the world, but they'll bark at anything, so at least I have an early warning system.

I"m thinking about taking shooting classes and getting a gun.

[Alice In TX/MO]

I don't think it's a scary world. I have driven all over Texas, New Mexico, Arkansas, Missouri, and Tenessee alone. NEVER have had a problem. Have traveled to New York City with a girlfriend, walked all over, took the subway all over, at all times of day and into the evening. No problems. Drove to California from Texas and back. No problems. Drove from Rhode Island to Texas. No problems. Have taken train trips cross country. Met interesting folks, no problems. Drove with hubby from Texas to Montana and back. Nope, no problems.

Have traveled to Norway, Ireland, Scotland, England, Denmark, France, Japan, Singapore, Guatamala, Mexico, and Indonesia. Only problem we had was in France where a French woman fussed at us for having the baby out in a back pack in the drizzling rain.

The 'scary world' is from watching the news, folks. They tell all the horror stories from the SMALL percentage of wackos out there. 99% of folks are good hearted, helpful, and non threatening.

[cfabe]

Originally Posted by Rose

The 'scary world' is from watching the news, folks. They tell all the horror stories from the SMALL percentage of wackos out there. 99% of folks are good hearted, helpful, and non threatening.

You're right, 99% may be great people, but 1% of the world population is still a whole lot of bad guys. A family friend's father was shot in the head execution style on his son's country property while taking an early morning walk. The killer was an escaped convict who happened to be tresspassing through their property at the time. This was in a "very safe" rural area. Reason enough to carry a gun for me. Personally I feel less safe in a deserted rural area than in the city because it's almost impossible to get away from someone who intends to do you harm. Having a cell phone is a good idea but I don't think anyone is going to wait around for an hour while the sheriff mosey's his way out there.

[countrygrrrl]

I think it entirely depends. I feel completely safe where I am, although people in a neighboring area claim the only reason I haven't been thieved and vandalized of everything I own is because all the crooks and thieves and vandals think I'm a-okay.

Ya right. I think it's more that the people in the neighboring area have some kind of grudge against the people where I live. :haha:

But I commute 60 mis each way to work a couple of times a week, and there are areas I drive through that I won't even stop for gas. No way! The places give me the creeps.

If something or some place or someone gives you the creeps, you need to pay attention. So I'd say you did just fine.

[wy0mn]

Rose has led a charmed life.
The world & a healthy percentage of its inhabitants are not nice.
Its not a safe place for men either ladies.
Be cautious, be prepaired.

[Snowdancer]

Ravenlost, I said I felt safer in Memphis than in KY! lol If you'd lived where I did in KY and had the hassles with gun toting, meth cooking, pit bull breeding for the fight ring neighbors you'd find Memphis a piece of cake! :haha:

Also, I lived 4 yrs in LA, 1 yr in Green Bay,WI, 1yr in Fort Wayne,IN & 1yr in Amarillo,TX and grew up just south of Detroit so my views on where I feel in danger may be a bit off!

I am very aware and try to remind myself to always be on guard, I just won't accept the victim role here just as I didn't in LA and so far in the last year I haven't had any problems. Let's hope my luck doesn't run out!

Thanks for the concern though, I do keep my eyes open and don't put myself at unnecessary risk. You should drive up for a visit sometime, I know of some neat garden centers!

Just think in a couple more months I'll be doing undercover surrveillance work here in Memphis; when I get my full Private Investigators license! Of course, I will have my concealed weapon permit by then too.

[ThreeJane]

Originally Posted by JoyKelley

Hey, ya'll ,

From one woman to another , for those of you that are not familiar with fire arms, if you decide to get one, please learn how to use it and if you draw it, fire it immediatley. Don't threaten with it , show it in hopes to intimidate , or otherwise believe the gun is going to scare some man off. You must be prepared to fire quickly and accurately., Nearly any man can overpower and disarm a woman.

Sound advice. Firearms are a weapon of last resort and should be treated as one. They also require a healthy dose of respect, which is why if you are not familiar with them, you should take some sort of firearms training class.

Remember, also, that you shoot to STOP. You always say that you are/were shooting to stop. (you get my meaning here, of course)

Be prepared that if you shoot someone, you'll likely go to civil court and have to pay money. You'll likely spend the night in jail, even if every police officer on the scene agrees it was a "good shoot". You're likely to be shook up and stressed out and freaked out and have bad dreams. But, as many concealed-carry advocates like to say, "Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6."

Fortunately, out here, I'm less concerned about thugs and convicts (as I was in California) than I am about mountain lions (hubby's seen one), black bears, and supposedly grizzlies wander through here every now and then.