Do your problems follow you when you move?

[catcrazy]

I've been reading Kenneth's thread (about whether to move or stay) with interest.

I am curious -- what has been your experience when you moved...did your "baggage" follow you? Or not?

We have a situation kinda like Kenneth's. We have 10 acres, a home, NO mortgage, no debt except for low student loan balance.

My husband does not like it here, and is convinced that there's a "black cloud" over the region. He longs to return to the area of the country he grew up in. (northern New England, possibly even eastern Canada).

I grew up in this state. To me, this is one of the prettiest parts of the state. It is also a weird part. I've had my exasperations with certain things, but I think you might find these things anywhere. I also have an adventurous streak. It WOULD be fun to live somewhere else.

AND I am terrifically conservative when it comes to money. Moving, as someone else said, is spendy. I don't see any way around that. We don't have lots of $$$ to throw around. I hate the thought of going into debt again.

Wherever we go or stay, we want rural and quiet and we want to continue homesteading.

There are very few places we could move in the country with the same low cost of living.

And, it is getting busier and busier around here. We live near a high $$$ lake that's being developed to the max.

Just wondering if anyone of you have any thoughts, to help me think about this.

thank you.

[Ravenlost]

Of course your "baggage" follows you! When you move, you simply change locations. You are still the same person with the same hang-ups and history. A change in scenery does not change that.

[Cyngbaeld]

Lots of folks want to go back to where they were raised, only it isn't there anymore. With the pop increasing the way it is things really have changed rapidly in our lifetimes.


179,323,175 total US pop in 1960
296,153,648 tatal US pop now

(these figures are from the US census bureau).

Hasn't quite doubled since I was a kid, but pretty close.

I've lived all over the place and there are some towns/regions where the percentage of 'strange' people is higher than others. OTOH, if you are friendly you will find friendly folks and if you are stand offish they will be likewise.

[bergere]

Depends on the Baggage.

We moved because of no jobs, at least what DH can do.
The other reasons was because of the chain saw Artist, Meth makers, Use fireworks to scare the living day lights out of our animals... anti social to hell with anyone else neighbors, the road traffic,, having speeders doing 100mph on a country rd with blind driveways, mine being one of them...on and on.

No, I left that stuff there. Am glad for it.

We do have our own problems here though very minor compaired with the old Farm.
However, we have more land, so more of a buffer. Can only see one house and that is if we go out the door and look.
Do have the problem of someone cutting our fence, but I have a state trooper that is going to help us with that now.

The plus in moving,, it is quiet, we have more land, there are less people here, this road is less traveled and gravel/dirt.

I count my lucky stars we are here now...So far it is much better.....

If you want to move to an area you have not been around much. How about taking a week vacation if you can, and stay in the area you want to live. That is a good way to scope out the way things are, without committing yourself.

[ThreeJane]

I agree with bergere. Depends on the baggage.

Now, if you're talking about "city baggage" and moving to the country, it doesn't follow you. At least mine didn't. I can't see two worlds further apart than the hustle and bustle of Southern California versus the slow even pace of Northern Idaho.

Although I must admit, I have to grit my teeth when "tourist season" pops up, right about now. (Why do they call it tourist "season"....you know the rest) Tourists in their rentals, zooming down the highways, flashing lights on the slower cars, passing when they shouldn't pass, slamming on brakes because they see something "quaint", and sitting in my driveway staring at my house!

huff huff

But they do go away, when it gets colder. THEN the SNOW SEASON TOURISTS COME! (beats breast, glares at sky, cries out to God - "Why oh why do we have tourists, God!")

Now, if you're talking about emotional/family baggage, oh yes, it follows you wherever you go. I still have problems with anger/temper management, hubby still has problems with buying stuff when he's bored, we both have problems with sniping at each other when we don't feel well, and all the rest. THAT stuff never goes away. People in AA, according to my brother, call moving to get away from your personal problems a "geographic change"...and it never works.

I can say, though, that I'm happier on an overall basis because I'm not looking out the window and wishing I was dead because I truly hate hate hate where I'm living. I told my mom once that the last ten years of my life spent in SoCal felt like I'd been nailed into a box and buried underground. I didn't realize how truly happy and free I could feel until I moved somewhere that I truly loved.

Sorry about the sermon.

[Siryet]

Remember: <B>wherever you go there you are!</B>

[Terri]

I think it depends on what the baggage IS! A "Black Cloud" isn't very specific......

Tell me, how did your DH end up in the area? Was he transferred in, or did he choose it? What does he like/dislike about it? Does his work bother him, too, or life in general, or is it just his home?

There ARE places that depress me or irritate me, but I know myself well enough to not move there unless I had to. What brought DH to your neck of the woods?

[catcrazy]

Siryet, that is so true, and one reason I posted.

Terri, good point, and probably what is bothering me. "Black Cloud" is not very specific. We both moved up here 11 years ago for DH's job opportunity. I had lived in this state for many years, but not in the region we are in now. Not sure about "life in general" and I don't think the home bothers him, though he would like more land. He misses the ocean and the topography that he grew up with.

I agree, there are places that can depress me too. I have been here so long, that maybe I'm not seeing things clearly.

I just don't want to go to the expense and effort of searching and moving, only to find that he's not happy in the next new place, either. That seems silly.

thanks for your thoughts, folks....

[Alex]

Sure you bring baggae.

But it still may be better. You need to figure that out between the two of you.

Why listen to us about this.

Only the two of you know all the details.

All the best,
Make a deal between yourselves about this and then do it, whatever it is,

Alex